by Dixon, Ruby
Pashov looks confused. "Of course. Why would they not be? You know to touch the third nipple, yes? The clit?"
"Yes, I know that." I try not to get irritated. Pashov is as inexperienced as I am when it comes to females, and I do not need him educating me. It must not be mating that bothers No-rah, then. I always touch her clit, and she says she always comes. I ponder this and decide mating cannot be the problem. "Has Stay-see talked to No-rah lately? Has No-rah said if something is bothering her? Sometimes I worry she is sad, but when I ask her, she promises nothing is wrong."
"And you think it is mating related?" Pashov asks. "You are certain you touch her correctly?"
"It is not mating related," I snap, fighting back annoyance. "It is something else. She will not speak of it to me, but I wonder if she has said something to the other humans. I feel as if there is something I am missing to make her happy."
Pashov rubs his chin, thinking. "We can ask my mate. She has not said anything, but perhaps it is a human thing that they only share with other females. Remember how strange Jo-see and Meh-gann acted when Vaza said he could not take them hunting because he could smell their monthly bleeding."
"This could be it." The human females are very shy about certain aspects of their bodies. I remember the indignant and horrified sounds that the unmated females made when the elder brought up their moon time. It is a natural body function, just like matings, but some of the females are shy about that, too.
This makes me feel better. I exhale with relief. It must be some human custom I am overlooking and No-rah does not wish to hurt my feelings. "Stay-see will know the answer, then." Pashov gestures that I should follow him. "I am heading back. My traps are as empty as Harrec's skull this morning. I would rather spend the time with my pretty mate than chasing my tail here in the snows."
I hesitate for a moment and then nod. My traps can wait another day. If I can find out what is bothering my No-rah, it will be worth anything. "Very well."
We hike back to the home cave, Pashov full of conversation. He has always been an easy one, full of stories of his brothers Zennek and Salukh, and always teases his youngest sibling, Farli. He talks of his parents and how they are trying to teach Stay-see many skills in the cave—tanning and sewing, preserving food and gathering plants. How Stay-see is not interested in hunting, but loves to try new flavors for food and new combinations of roots with meat. This is another thing that makes me feel guilty. Stay-see and Pashov have a large family. Both of Pashov's parents are alive. His brothers and sister are all alive and Zennek now has a mate. Stay-see has many faces she can call family, many hands that will help her out if she is troubled.
Perhaps that is the problem with my No-rah. She wishes for a large family and all she has is…me. The thought hangs heavy on my heart. I would give my No-rah anything…but I cannot make my family return to life.
As we head toward the home cave, Pashov tilts his head and then gestures in the distance. "I smell my mate on the breeze. Stay-see must be gathering tea leaves with my mother. Come. We need not go all the way back to the caves."
We find the two females a short distance away from the cave, woven baskets in hand. Stay-see is indeed with Kemli, the older female showing the younger how to strip the leaves from liidi without harming the vines that crawl between the rocks. Stay-see looks up with delight as we approach. "Pashov! Back so early?"
Stay-see's eyes are bright as she gazes on her mate, and I am not at all surprised when he moves forward and gives her a big, hearty kiss in greeting. His mother just shakes her head with amusement, as if she is used to such antics from her son. When Pashov finally releases his mate, Stay-see looks dazed, her mouth red and swollen from Pashov's enthusiastic kisses. "Dagesh has a question for you, my mate," my friend says. "If you have a moment."
"Oh, of course." She looks over at Kemli.
The elder waves a hand at us. "Go on, go on. I can pluck leaves on my own."
Pashov pulls his mate away from Kemli, and I follow them. I feel a bit foolish. Kemli has been mated for more seasons than I have been alive. Surely she will have answers to what makes my mate unhappy as much as newly mated Stay-see does? But Stay-see is human, as is No-rah. They are…different.
I am learning that many of the differences go just beyond smooth brows and an extra finger.
Stay-see and Pashov turn to me when we are a short distance away, and Pashov indicates I should speak. I clear my throat, shifting my feet. "I worry that…No-rah has a secret that makes her unhappy."
"A secret?" Stay-see's brows furrow together. "Why are you asking me?"
"It is not necessarily a secret," I continue. "But perhaps a human thing I do not understand. It is difficult to explain, because I do not know what I am missing."
"Missing?" She glances over at Pashov. "Is she not happy? Every time I talk to Nora, she seems happy to me." Stay-see reaches out and touches my arm. "If you're worried, the only things she's ever said to me about you are very positive. She's happy here, and she's happy with you."
I sigh. "This is what she tells me, too, but sometimes I feel as though…I do not know." I drum my fingers on my arm in frustration. "It is like there is some component of our mating that I have missed out on. And I do not know what it is."
She regards me closely. "Like…a marriage ceremony?" Her eyes widen and she gasps. "Oh, Nora's Jewish! Maybe she wanted a Jewish wedding?"
"Yoo-eesh?" I echo. "What is this?"
"Oof, that's a hard one to explain without getting into the nitty gritty of religion." Stay-see chews on a fingernail, thinking. "It means that Nora comes from a people—a tribe—that has very specific ideas of how your life should be lived. What kinds of foods are proper for you to eat, how you worship, and how you live your life. They have beliefs of what happens to you after you die, and these concepts drive how they live their lives, if that makes sense."
My eyes widen. "No-rah and her people know what happens after you die?"
Stay-see winces. "I mean, they think they do? I think? I’m not an expert. But other groups think they have a different answer, and I'm not going to get into a theology debate today." She studies us for a moment and then sighs. "Okay, let's try it this way." She grabs her mate by the arms and pulls him over to her side. "Let's say Pashov lives in another cave with a different tribe. Let's call them the Blue Stud Tribe." She takes me by the arms and shuffles me in the opposite direction. "You, Dagesh, live in the Spurs Aplenty Tribe."
From afar, I hear Kemli laughing quietly to herself.
Stay-see clasps her hands together. "Now these two tribes are all people, yes? But because Blue Stud lives over here, and Spurs Aplenty lives over here, you grow up with different ideas. Maybe Spurs Aplenty likes to make sure that everyone uses red roots instead of white roots when they make stew. And Blue Stud Tribe likes to thank an animal that they kill for its meat, because they believe that this is how you respect nature. Do you follow me?"
I shrug. I do not see what this has to do with my mate, but I try to follow along.
She gestures at me. "Now let's say that Spurs Aplenty Tribe has kits, and their kits have kits, and those kits have kits. And later on, those people believe that not only do you use red roots instead of white roots, but that you absolutely must use red roots. That it is insulting to consider anything else. And then you meet up with a kit from Blue Stud and he's insulted that you don't thank your kills before you eat them. What do you think of that?"
Pashov scratches his ear. "I am still wondering why white roots are bad…"
His mate thwacks him in the gut. "I'm asking Dagesh."
I spread my hands, because I do not know. "Does it matter? If he wishes to thank his meat, why should I care?"
"An excellent question." Stay-see pats her mate on the arm. "Now what if a kit from one tribe marries into the other? Whose customs are right?"
It is as if the suns have come out from behind the clouds. "My mate has customs of her people and she is sad that we did not follow them." Of co
urse. It makes so much sense. Has not No-rah told me many times that it is a problem, but not one I can help her with? It is because she believes different than sa-khui people and she is…hurt? Or she wants to thank her meat?
I am getting a little confused. But I grasp Pashov's mate and squeeze her in a thankful hug. "This must be it. You have my thanks for helping me understand."
"I hope I helped?" Stay-see chuckles. "I'm not sure if that was the best explanation for a really complicated topic, and I'm completely glossing over how shitty one culture can be to another and how Jewish people have had the brunt of that sort of thing for a really, really long time…" She shrugs. "But maybe it can get the ball rolling."
"Wait, which tribe had the ball?" Pashov asks.
Stay-see just groans.
11
NORA
Most days there's a hot meal simmering over the main tribal fire, along with herbal tea. The tea today is a strong one, so I decide to make my own over the small fire we keep going inside our cave. I'm still not as skilled as my mate with keeping house, even in a cave. Sometimes the fire dies and there's nothing I can do to possibly get it going again. I've cried over fire more than once since getting here, but today, tea is my particular enemy.
I frown at the pouch and tripod we keep in the back of our cave and pull out when we want to cook or make tea. Dagesh put it away yesterday, and I figured how hard could it be to set up a tripod, right? I study the tall lengths of bone, trying to figure out which end is up. Each of the three legs is about four feet long, so that when the pouch hangs over the center of the fire, it's not so low that it drags in the coals, but it's low enough that it gets warmed by the heat. The leather pouch is shiny and soft with repeated use, and I tug it off before trying to prop up the bone tripod. The legs of the damn thing won't stand, though, and no matter what I do, I can't get the tripod to work. Each time I try, the bones collapse and start to fall into the fire, and I have to hastily rescue them.
I'm ready to scream with frustration—or snap one of the bones over my knee like the Karate Kid—when my mate pokes his head into the cave. "Are you hiding, my pretty one?"
I let out a frustrated breath. "This…thing," I shake one of the tripod legs, "Is going to give me an aneurysm."
"A what?"
"It's going to make my brain explode." Close enough. I hold the offending tripod out to him. "I know you've shown me at least three or four times, but can you show me again? Please?"
He takes it from me, pausing for a moment. "You…your brain will truly not explode, will it?"
I have to giggle a little at that. "It's just me being dramatic because I'm angry at this dumb tripod." I gesture at it, but it's hard to stay mad when my cute mate is gazing down at me with that slightly worried expression on his face. I never get tired of seeing Dagesh. It's been almost a month now and I keep expecting for things to feel humdrum with him, for the two of us to somehow drift apart, or for me to discover some sort of dealbreaker between us. It hasn't happened, though.
I keep liking him.
I like his laugh. I like his scent. I like his big stinky feet and the way he snorts in his sleep sometimes. I like that he's a cuddler and I like his long braid and the way he dotes on me. I like his silly jokes and the way he's just so damn steadfast, and I know I can count on him for anything. If the sex is a little too vanilla for me to be truly happy, it's a small price to pay. Dagesh has made it clear that he's horrified at the thought of being rough with me, and it's just something I'll have to get used to. It's not his fault he ended up with the kinkiest bitch this side of the galaxy.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl that likes spankings on this planet. We all talk back and forth and none of them have ever shown any kind of inclination for anything like me and my friends were into back on Earth. It's something I've come to terms with…well, for the most part.
Sometimes I just wish my mate would grab me by the neck and hold me down as he fucked me raw, but I guess a girl can't have everything. I'm happy with my gentle giant. If our mating isn't a perfect ten, it's at least a nine point five. Me wanting something he can't give me isn't his problem, it's mine. It's something I'll just have to get over.
So I smile up at him as he takes the tripod. He touches the ends. "Remember the notches? They must all lock in place."
I smack my forehead. "Oh. Right. I'm such an idiot." He's shown me that before and each time, I forget. "Is it too early to blame pregnancy brain?"
"As long as it does not explode, you can blame your brain for everything."
I laugh. "I promise, no explosions." I watch as he sets up the tripod effortlessly and hangs the pouch off of it. I'll get the hang of it someday. For now, I'm content to watch him handle it. He's so big and strong and utterly dependable, my Dagesh. I really do adore him. I hold out a skin of water so he can fill the pouch. "I'm glad you're home early."
He smiles over at me and then pauses as he pulls out the leafy crap that we use for tea. "Do you care what color the roots are?"
"Um, no? As long as they taste good?" Dagesh pulls out a handful and I do notice one that I don't find particularly tasty. "Wait, not that one."
"Which one?"
I reach over and pull it out of his hand. "The one with the white needles. I don't like the taste."
"Aaaah." The look on his face is triumphant. "So you do have a preference."
"I guess?" I shrug. "Everyone has certain flavors they like. Why?"
Dagesh just smiles at me like he's somehow figured something out. It's weird. He drops the rest of the leaves and bits of root and nuts into the pouch of water, then moves toward the storage baskets in our hut. My mate pulls out a large piece of the spicy cakes they call “trail rations” here and offers some to me. "Hungry?"
I shrug. I can always eat. The diet here is a lot leaner than the one back home, because there's not much in the way of grains. It's all meat and the occasional vegetable, and I find I'm hungry a lot. Either that, or I'm burning a lot more calories. "Thanks, babe." I take a bite of the cake…and pause, because he's watching me with that weird look again. "What?"
"Do you…wish to thank it?"
I eye him as I chew. "Thank…what?"
"Your food." He gives me an encouraging look. "Yes?"
Did my sensible alien husband fall into a patch of alien mushrooms or something? "Babe, are you feeling okay?"
"I am fine," Dagesh says. "I just wish to understand you."
"That makes two of us right now." I smile to take the sting out of my words, but I'm more than a little bewildered at his actions.
But he just grins at me and leaps to his feet again. "I will return soon. I must go clean a kill."
"Um…okay." I watch as he hustles out of our cave. Seriously weird.
12
DAGESH
I rush to the cave that Pashov shares with his mate, full of excitement. I am closer than ever to understanding my mate. The privacy screen is not across the threshold, so I enter without a second thought.
The moment I do, I see Pashov with his mate pressed down in the furs, one of her pale legs wrapped around his waist, his tail pinning it there in place.
Stay-see gasps the moment I come in, squirming underneath her mate. Her flanks are bare and shudder with each pump of her mate into her body.
"Are you almost done?" I ask. "I must talk again."
Pashov glances over at me out of the corner of his eye, even as he thrusts into his mate again. "You are a very inconvenient visitor."
"Your screen was not up," I point out.
Stay-see murmurs something indignant and Pashov pauses in his strokes to pull the furs over his bare behind and cover them. He glances over at me again. "Let us finish."
"I will be just outside," I tell them, full of excitement. I head to the front of their cave and put the privacy screen in place. I hear a few more low sounds from inside their cave as I wait, and Stay-see makes a gurgled cry at some point. I pick at my nails as I wait, bored. Surely Pashov will be d
one with his mate soon.
It is a bit longer before either of them comes to pull the privacy screen aside. Finally, though, Pashov appears and grins at me. He has a loincloth on again, and reeks of mating scents, but there is a smile on his face. "Should you not be spending the afternoon in the furs with your mate so I can go back to mine?"
"Soon," I tell him and step inside again. I nod at the female by the fire, who is covered in furs. Her cheeks are flushed. "Stay-see."
"Sorry if that was awkward," Stay-see murmurs, her face turning redder. "I didn't realize we'd forgotten the screen."
"It was not awkward," I reassure her. "I have seen Pashov's naked backside many times before. As for matings, I have seen—and heard—much louder, more vigorous situations."
"Ouch," Stay-see says with an amused glance at her mate. "Don't take that personally, sweetie."
Pashov just gives his mate a silly grin, and it is clear she holds his heart in her hands. I am happy for him—Pashov is a good friend. He glances over at me. "Why are you back so soon?"
"No-rah does not like white roots," I explain triumphantly.
They both stare at me.
"This makes her yoo-ish, yes?"
Stay-see groans and puts her hand on her brow. "No, I mean…you can't…actually, never mind. You weren't trying to uncover if she's Jewish. We already know she is. I was just wondering if she wanted a Jewish wedding ceremony. They're more in-depth than your average one."
"So everyone has this ceremony?" Pashov asks, curious. He moves to sit by his mate and takes her hand in his. "Do you want one?"
She snorts. "Not at all. I'm perfectly fine, thank you. And I'm not a religious girl. I didn't think Nora was, but who knows? It might not be a Jewish wedding that she's sad about after all. Maybe she had a big family that she left behind. Maybe she misses her friends." Stay-see lifts one shoulder in a shrug and the fur falls down her arm. She blushes and quickly tugs it back up again. "I'm just saying, there's a lot of things for us to be a little sad over. Give her time."