by Crane
Hok thought more about Seh and frowned. “Do you think Seh will recover completely? And what about Sum?”
“Honestly, I think they will both be fine,” PawPaw said. “Sum will wake to a terrible headache that will last a few days, but it will wear off. As for Seh, he is young and appears fit. His body is waging war against the poison as we speak. There is only one sure way to verify Seh's condition, though, and that is to wake him. Come, let us gather the necessary ingredients and go to him now.”
PawPaw pulled a small knife from her basket and handed it to Hok. Hok collected several branches from the xiang mu tree hanging over their heads, and they left for PawPaw's house.
Less than an hour later, Hok and PawPaw arrived at PawPaw's home. They were greeted with a pleasant surprise. Sum was awake.
Sum and Cheen sat beside one another on Sum's bed in PawPaw's bedroom. On the other bed, Seh still lay unconscious. Hok was happy about Sum, but worried about Seh.
PawPaw walked over to Sum and took hold of her left wrist. “Are you feeling all right?”
Sum smiled weakly and nodded. She slowly turned her head and pointed to the back of it. There was a large lump and a bit of dried blood in her short black hair.
PawPaw released Sum's left wrist and grabbed the right. Hok knew that PawPaw was checking Sum's various pulses. At the same time, PawPaw stared deep into Sum's eyes, looking for signs of concussion.
PawPaw let go of Sum's wrist and leaned back. “Except for a big headache, I think you'll be just fine.” PawPaw pointed to Seh. “Has he woken?”
Cheen shook his head.
“I was afraid of that,” PawPaw said. She turned to Hok. “Would you like to try and wake him, or should I?”
“I'll do it,” Hok replied, and she got right to work. She knelt next to Seh and reached into PawPaw's basket, removing the knife and a section of xiang mu branch. She made several deep cuts in the branch and twisted it round and round upon itself. Drops of pungent liquid formed along the slices. Hok's eyes began to water from the acrid fumes.
Hok blinked several times and wiped one finger along the length of the xiang mu branch, then dabbed it on Seh's upper lip directly below his nostrils.
Seh's body jerked, and his eyes flew open. He lifted his head, then swooned and lay back down, his eyes closed.
“Hok?” Seh muttered. “Is that you?”
“Yes,” Hok said. “We are in the home of a healer. Her name is PawPaw. How do you feel?”
“Awful,” Seh replied.
Hok reached out and took Seh's hand. “You were poisoned. You are lucky to be alive.”
Seh took a deep breath, and Hok saw tears forming in the corners of his closed eyes. “I remember,” he said.
PawPaw cleared her throat. “Why don't we let your brother rest awhile? I'll come back and give you a thorough examination later, Seh.”
“Yes …,” Seh replied. “I'd like to be alone.”
Hok wasn't surprised.
“Have a good nap, then,” PawPaw said. She stood and left the room. Cheen helped Sum stand, and they followed PawPaw out.
Hok let go of Seh's hand. “I'll come back later, too. If you still want to be alone then, just let me know.”
Seh nodded and Hok left the room. She found PawPaw waiting for her.
“So, what do you think?” PawPaw asked.
“Considering what he's been through,” Hok said, “I think he looks good.”
“I'd have to agree,” PawPaw said. “That is why I didn't bother to poke and prod him just yet. I was concerned that he might have suffered some sort of paralysis, but he lifted his head when he spoke and he gripped your hand. I also saw his toes move.”
“Paralysis?” Hok said. “I never thought of that.”
“Depending on the poison used,” PawPaw said, “there could have been permanent damage to the pathways that carry signals to certain parts of his body, particularly to the internal organs and limbs. This is especially true if the poison came from a venom as opposed to a plant.”
“I suppose AnGangseh could have used a venom-based poison,” Hok said.
“Exactly,” PawPaw replied. “After all, her name does mean Cobra in Cantonese. She probably wanted to immobilize him.”
Hok nodded. She thought about sharing what little she knew about AnGangseh, especially the part about AnGangseh being Seh's mother. In the end, though, Hok thought better of it. If Seh wanted his secrets shared, he should be the one to do it.
Hok rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted.
“Let's get some rest ourselves,” PawPaw said. “When we wake up, I'll make us some rice and a nice pot of ginseng soup. We'll need all the energy we can get. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”
Over the next several weeks, Hok and PawPaw established a routine. Each morning they would travel to the village to check on the scores of patients, and each evening they would return to PawPaw's house. Hok kept her head clean-shaven and continued to wear the clothes PawPaw had given her the first day. The outfit was a lightweight gray peasant's robe and pants that fit Hok well and suited the increasingly warm weather.
In some ways, Hok's life at PawPaw's house reminded her of her life at Cangzhen. While she didn't particularly enjoy pretending to be something she wasn't—a boy—at least life was relatively peaceful here. She worked hard with PawPaw, but she had always worked hard at Cangzhen, too.
Meanwhile, Seh slowly began to recover, though he had not yet gotten strong enough to leave his bed. Sum was recovering much quicker, and she and Cheen spent much of their time fishing on the slowly receding river and keeping an eye on Seh. Hok wished she could spend more time with Seh, but she was gone all day and exhausted at night. The few times she did try and talk with him, he shooed her away or pretended to be tired. She assumed he was upset that she was gone so much. She didn't blame him.
In time, the number of village patients decreased to where Hok only needed to be in the village a few hours each day. However, she was busier than ever. She spent any remaining daylight and often some of the night roaming the surrounding forest with PawPaw, collecting herbs and berries and other medicines to replenish PawPaw's severely depleted stockpile. Hok tried a few times to convince Seh to join them, but he was never interested. PawPaw said that Seh was now able to walk around, but Hok had only ever seen him in bed with his eyes closed and a pout on his face.
There was a point when Hok thought Seh's downhearted mood had to do with his snake. She'd seen it slither out of the house on more than one occasion. However, it always returned, usually with a rodent-shaped lump in its midsection.
Hok began to worry about Seh. While his physical health had improved greatly, his mental state appeared to be deteriorating. He was growing increasingly moody, and often said things that were downright mean if Hok asked to examine him. He would only let PawPaw attend to him, and Hok felt that her brother was beginning to slip away from her. While they had never been extremely close at Cangzhen, they had a strong mutual respect that Hok had always felt, partially because Seh had known that she was a girl but had concealed it from everyone.
Hok felt that that respect was now gone, and it bothered her. She used to think that he was upset that she spent so little time with him, but now she was certain there was more to it. She wanted to know if she had said or done something to cause this. Or perhaps his behavior was just an unfortunate side effect of the poison. Regardless, Hok needed to know if she could remedy the situation. She decided to talk to Seh about it.
The next morning, Cheen and Sum left to go fishing, and PawPaw was outside laying herbs to dry in the sun. Hok went into the back room and, as usual, found Seh lying facedown. “I'd like to talk with you,” she said.
Seh didn't reply.
Hok knelt on the floor, next to Seh's head. “I'm worried about you, Seh. You seem depressed.”
“I'm fine.”
“I don't think so,” Hok said. “PawPaw told me that she was going to add some wild date seeds and young rose flower to your daily
teas to help strengthen your spirits. Has she?”
“I don't know,” Seh replied. “I stopped asking the ingredients long ago.”
“That's funny,” Hok said. “The Seh I know was always very curious. He would never consume anything without knowing exactly what was in it.”
“Perhaps the Seh you know is gone,” he replied. “Perhaps he was left back at the river. Why don't you go look for him? Just leave me alone.”
Hok shook her head. She decided to try another approach. She stood and walked over to one corner of the room. Hidden under a stack of baskets was the scroll she had recovered from the small of Seh's back after he had been poisoned. She retrieved it and returned to Seh's side.
“I almost forgot about this,” Hok said, unrolling the scroll. “What is it?”
“What does it look like?” Seh said without looking up.
“A dragon scroll, I suppose. Except the writing looks very hurried and the parchment does not seem old. There is a sketch of human chi meridians on one side and a pressure-point sketch on the other.”
“It's a copy of a dragon scroll,” Seh said. “I made it when you were off breaking Ying out of jail.”
“Oh,” Hok said. “Copying the original was a very clever thing to do.”
Seh didn't reply.
Hok thought about what Seh had just said about breaking Ying out of jail. “Are you upset that I helped Ying escape?”
“No.”
Hok paused and took a deep breath. “Are you … upset about your mother?”
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“Well, I think you should talk about it,” Hok said. “Maybe it will make you feel better.”
“I doubt it,” Seh replied.
“How do you know unless you try?” Hok said.
“No.”
Hok sighed. This wasn't working. She decided to try one last approach. She unrolled the dragon scroll further. “What do you think is so special about this scroll? It doesn't look very special.”
“It's a map,” Seh said.
Hok blinked. “A map? Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Seh replied.
“I don't see how—”
“Don't look at it,” Seh snapped. “Hold it up to the light and look through it. The lines on the two sketches merge and form a map.”
Hok stared at the sketches. “What is it a map of?”
“I don't know.”
Hok stared some more. She saw what Seh was talking about, but she played ignorant in order to try and get Seh to open up to her. “I don't see what you're talking about,” she said. “Can you show me?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No!”
“What's wrong with you, Seh? Why won't you show me?”
“I don't want to.”
“But—”
“No!” Seh shouted. “Leave me alone!”
Hok lowered the scroll and stared at Seh.
“Hok?” PawPaw called from outside the house. “Could you come here for a moment?”
“I'll be right there,” Hok called back. She looked at Seh. “I am sorry if I upset you, Seh, but I still think we need to talk. I'm leaving now, but I'll be back.”
Seh didn't respond.
Hok placed the scroll next to Seh and walked outside. She found PawPaw some distance away.
“There is something wrong with him,” Hok said. “Isn't there?”
“Yes,” PawPaw replied. “There is no point in hiding it any longer. I overheard some of your conversation, and your diagnosis that he is depressed is correct. He has been taking both wild date seeds and young rose flower, but I'm afraid all the seeds and flowers in the world will not help him.”
Hok's eyes widened. “Is it serious?”
“Very serious,” PawPaw said. “As you know, Seh is quite secretive. He didn't want anyone to know about his condition, and because of his extraordinary sensitivity to chi and other things, he's been able to function extremely well. However, once he leaves my home he will no longer be able to hide his condition from you. I am surprised he's been able to hide it this long. He should have told you himself by now, but it seems his secrecy continues to get the best of him. If you hadn't been so preoccupied, you would have surely noticed.”
“What is wrong with him?” Hok asked, her voice beginning to tremble.
“Remember when we discussed the possibility that Seh might suffer paralysis as a result of being poisoned?”
“Yes …”
“Well, it seems my concerns were justified.”
“But you said weeks ago that he wasn't paralyzed,” Hok said. “I've seen him move just about every part of his body myself.”
“Remember I said that there was the possibility of damage to the pathways that carry signals to certain parts of the body?” PawPaw asked. “In Seh's case, it seems the channel that feeds his eyes was permanently damaged by the poison.”
Hok stared at her, confused.
“Hok,” PawPaw said, “Seh is blind.”
Later that evening, Hok stood over Seh's bed, staring at his closed eyes. He was lying perfectly still and by all accounts appeared to be asleep. Hok, however, knew better. Seh was an excellent actor. She wanted to believe that Seh's acting skills were the reason she hadn't noticed his blindness, but deep down she knew that she simply hadn't paid enough attention to him. That was about to change.
“Hello, Seh,” Hok said. “I'm back.”
“I know,” Seh replied, his eyes still closed. “I sensed you walk into the room. I also sensed you standing in the doorway forever. Don't do that again. It makes me uncomfortable, being stared at when I can't stare back.”
Hok lowered her head. “I'm sorry. It sounds like you now know that I am aware of your … condition?”
“Yes,” Seh grumbled. “I overheard you talking with PawPaw. My hearing is improving, you know. So is my sense of smell. Pretty soon, I'll be just like Fu, of all people. Funny, isn't it?”
“I don't find it funny at all,” Hok said. “Your body is adjusting. It's helping you cope.”
“Well, I could do without that kind of help, or any other kind,” Seh said. “That is why you are here now, isn't it? To offer to help me?”
“Yes,” Hok said. “You know how I am. PawPaw wants to help you, too. We've been talking and—”
“I can do without your help,” Seh interrupted.
“But—”
“I said, I can do without your help” Seh repeated. “What don't you understand?”
“I don't understand a lot of things,” Hok replied. “Your situation is one of them, but I'm trying to learn.”
“Well, go find yourself another teacher. Leave me alone.”
Hok frowned. “Let me help you.”
“Go away.”
“No.”
“Why won't you just leave me be?” Seh asked. “I'm not hurting anyone.”
“You're hurting yourself,” Hok said. “PawPaw thinks that you are severely depressed, and I agree. Especially listening to you now. PawPaw and I may not be able to do anything about your eyesight, but we can help improve your mental state. You need to get out of bed, Seh. You need to move around a lot more than you have been. Exercise will make you feel better.”
“I can't walk without tripping over my own feet, Hok. I can't even stand without the world feeling like it's spinning. It's hopeless. Believe me, I've tried.” Hok thought she heard his voice crack.
“I could help you learn to walk without tripping,” Hok offered. “I know many different crane-style exercises to improve balance and dexterity, and most of them involve being blindfolded. The spinning sensation will go away with time. I felt dizzy for days when I started doing the exercises blindfolded, but I got used to it. Don't you remember seeing me doing them at Cangzhen?”
“Of course I remember,” Seh replied. “I also remember you breaking a lot of things while you practiced.”
“That happens,” Hok said. “I've already talked to PawPaw about it. S
he doesn't mind.”
“You're not going to leave me alone, are you?” Seh asked.
“No,” Hok said. “In fact, beginning tomorrow I'll be near you more than ever. Cheen and Sum are leaving, and I'm going to move into this bedroom with you.”
“Leaving?” Seh asked. “Where are they going?”
“Back to Kaifeng. You'll get a chance to say goodbye to them in the morning. That is, if you get out of bed.” Seh pouted. “You're not going to give up, are you?” “Never,” Hok said. “So you may as well try some of the exercises.” Seh didn't reply.
“If you don't try,” Hok joked, “I'll sit on my new bed here and stare at you all day and all night without blinking. You know I can do it. If you think me staring at you from the doorway was bad—”
“All right, all right.” Seh sighed. “I'll give it a try. When do you want to start?”
Hok felt a smile creep up her face. “First thing tomorrow.”
The next morning, Hok was surprised to wake to the sound of Seh's voice. She opened her eyes to find that he had gotten out of bed on his own and dressed in his gray peasant's robe and pants. He was at the far end of PawPaw's main room, talking with Cheen and Sum as they finished their packing. By the time Hok had wiped the sleep from her eyes and gotten out of bed, Cheen and Sum were ready to leave.
Hok helped Seh walk down to the river to say their final goodbyes. Seh held on to her arm the whole way, and he only slipped once on the slick yellow river mud near the water's edge. Hok thought it was a good start.
Hok was sorry to see Cheen and Sum go. However, she realized that Sum was completely healed and the two of them had to get on with their lives. Hopefully, she and Seh would do the same soon. After several long hugs and a few tears among themselves and PawPaw, Cheen and Sum shoved off aboard the battered old skiff that had brought them there. As soon as they were out of sight, Hok and Seh got to work.
Hok began Seh's training with an exercise that seemed simple enough but was surprisingly difficult. She had Seh stand on one leg. Hok knew firsthand that balancing on one foot with your eyes open is easy but once your eyes are closed, everything changes. Grandmaster had made Hok practice standing on one leg blindfolded for hours on end, like a crane, when she was younger. Because of his own previous training, Seh had little trouble mastering this.