by Parnell Hall
“What do you mean?”
“Did he teach you to shoot?”
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”
“So he did. You happen to own a gun?”
“No, I do not.”
“If you do, it’s easy enough to prove. They have to be registered, there are licenses involved. Which means you don’t have a legal gun. It is my understanding from friends in the police department that the gun that killed Roger Randolph was an unlicensed gun, an illegal gun, stolen from a sporting goods store. If that were your gun, there would be no record.”
The witness said nothing.
“Is that your gun?”
“No, it is not.”
“Going back to your surveillance of the plaintiff. You set up shop at the same motel as the plaintiff, followed him around. You saw him take the witness Lilly Clemson out to dinner.”
“That’s right.”
“Did he also take the witness Roger Randolph out to dinner?”
“Of course not.”
“Why?”
“He’s a man.”
“So the only conversation he had with Roger Randolph was a week ago Wednesday afternoon when he called on him in the bank?”
“No. He also called on him in his house.”
There was a rumbling in the court.
Judge Hobbs banged the gavel.
“Now,” Cora said, “if we could avoid another outburst, since Judge Hobbs is rather touchy today, could you try to soft-pedal the fact it was the night Randolph died?”
Despite Cora’s admonition, there were gasps in the court.
“Is that right?” Judge Hobbs said ominously.
“Yes, it is, Your Honor. But we really shouldn’t be making such a big deal of it. People call on people. People die. It’s not necessarily cause and effect.” Cora turned back to the witness. “In any case, you saw him go into Randolph’s house on the night of the murder?”
“That’s right.”
“And you saw him go into Lilly Clemson’s apartment on the night of her murder?”
“That’s right.”
“In both cases he was there.”
“Yes, he was.”
“And so were you.”
“Huh?”
“You were there. At the scene of the crime. On the night of both murders.”
“What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything. I’m just asking questions. As the judge pointed out, some of them are more relevant than others. Do you do KenKen?”
The change of subject was so abrupt, the witness blinked. “What?”
“KenKen. The new number puzzles. They’re all the rage. They even have them in The New York Times, right next to the crossword puzzles. Can you do them?”
“Why?”
“Interesting response. Implies you do. If you didn’t, you’d say no.”
“Yes, I can do puzzles. I still don’t know why you’re asking.”
“Because puzzles were found at the scene of the crime. Pointing to Melvin’s guilt.” Cora frowned, shook her head, deploring. “Which bothers me greatly. I have yet to hear an adequate explanation for why a murderer would leave puzzles at the scene of the crime that pointed to himself as the killer. It’s really only the sort of thing someone would do if they wanted to frame someone for a crime. Which still doesn’t work for me, because it’s such a clumsy frame. However, aside from the puzzles at the crime scenes, there are also the puzzles slipped under the door of Melvin and Bambi’s room at the motel. Seeing as how you’re staying at the same motel, I’d be hard-pressed to think of anyone with a better opportunity to do that.”
“I didn’t.”
“Yeah, but your denial is a self-serving declaration, of no evidentiary value. You’d need an independent witness to establish you didn’t do it. Anyway, the puzzles laid on Melvin and Bambi led to the recovery of the gun. And not just any gun, but one which I understand ballistics proved conclusively was the gun that killed banker Roger Randolph.”
Mrs. Crabtree said nothing. She sat tight-lipped, glowered at Cora.
“Do you have a laptop?”
“Why?”
“Once again!” Cora said. “No wonder Melvin couldn’t stand you. Your evasions are so transparent. I’m going to assume your answer was yes, and I’m going to tell you why. If you did compose those puzzles, I’m assuming you had Crossword Compiler on your machine. You composed them on your laptop, hooked up to a printer, and printed them out. If those puzzles are on your laptop, you’re a dead duck.”
“I have a laptop. The puzzles aren’t on it.”
“I didn’t think they were. Anyone smart enough to have thought up this whole scheme would be smart enough to destroy the evidence. I’m assuming you deleted the puzzles and uninstalled Crossword Compiler. Which would be enough to thwart me. Or Chief Harper. Or even the guys at the crime lab. Well, bad news for you. I got a gang of computer nerds standing by who can find things on your laptop even after you delete them. So, where’s your laptop? In your car?”
“No. It’s in my motel room.”
“Your Honor, I suggest the court stand in recess long enough to allow Chief Harper to escort the witness out to the Oakwood Motel and take possession of the laptop computer she has there.”
Judge Hobbs blinked. “For what reason? This is not a murder trial. This is an alimony hearing.”
“All right, so let me put it another way. We’ve been going at this for a long time now. What do you say we take a little break?”
Judge Hobbs looked over to where Chief Harper was conferring with District Attorney Henry Firth. The prosecutor caught the judge’s eye with a stern look that made his case more eloquently than any summation.
“Very well,” Judge Hobbs said. “Court will stand in recess for one hour.”
Chapter
55
Chief Harper was taking no chances. He didn’t follow Evelyn Crabtree back to the motel, he drove her there in his police car. He pulled up in front of her unit and was right behind her when she opened the door.
“Okay, where is it?”
She pointed to the desk. “There.”
“Is it plugged in?”
“No, it’s charged.”
“Good.”
Harper reached in his back pocket, pulled out an evidence bag. He unfolded it and, touching the computer only with his handkerchief, maneuvered it into the bag.
“Is that really necessary?” Mrs. Crabtree said.
“I have no idea. But if I don’t do it, some smart lawyer will ask me why I didn’t.”
“There’s nothing on it.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”
“You don’t know Melvin.”
Harper ushered her out of the motel room, put the evidence in the back of the cruiser. “You ride up front.”
“I rode up front on the way over.”
“And you’re riding up front again. On the way over, there was no evidence in the backseat you might want to tamper with.”
Harper pulled out of the motel parking lot and headed back to town.
Cora Felton and Dan Finley watched them go. They were in Cora’s convertible, parked just out of sight around the bend.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Dan said.
“I’m paying you back for getting me that car rental plate.”
“By making me sit here for an hour when I could be having coffee and a scone?”
“I’d like one, too. We didn’t have time to stop.”
“Why not?”
“We wouldn’t be able to swear the chief took the witness back to the motel.”
“I would think the chief would be capable of establishing that himself. Or do you think he needs corroboration? Is the woman apt to lie?”
Cora sighed. “Any woman married to Melvin is apt to lie. Ah, here’s someone.”
A car pulled into the motel parking lot.
“That rental plate look familiar?”
; “It’s Melvin’s.”
“Yeah. Since he’s in jail, I think we can assume it’s the bimbo. Sure seems in a hurry, doesn’t she?”
“Well, she’s only got an hour. Probably going to change into another outfit.”
“Why, Dan Finley,” Cora said. “Been noticing the young strumpet, have you? Well, she’s closer your age than Melvin’s.”
Dan was blushing splendidly. “I assure you, I was only—”
“Keep it. Here she comes again.… Uh-oh, she’s turning this way.”
“Think she’ll see us?”
“If you keep your head down, she may think it’s just a parked car.”
Bambi didn’t see them. She zoomed on by, rocketed down the road.
“Okay, flatfoot,” Cora said. “Here we go. If we get stopped, you pay the fines.”
“What?”
“You really gotta get a sense of humor, Dan. It’ll help you with the girls.”
The rental car flashed around a turn a couple of hundred yards ahead. Cora stomped on the accelerator, shot down the road like a NASCAR driver heading for the flag. She screeched through the turn and straightened up just in time to see Bambi’s car zoom out of sight up ahead. She tromped down harder on the accelerator.
“Are you crazy!” Dan said. “Slow down.”
“Sorry. This is a Toyota. They don’t stop.”
Half a mile ahead, the brake lights flashed and the car turned right. Cora made up the distance, fishtailed through the turn.
The rental car pulled up alongside the riverbank. Bambi jumped out. She had something in her hand.
“Okay, kid, you’re up. Got your handcuffs ready?”
Cora screeched to a stop in the gravel. She wrenched the door open and jumped out. “Don’t do it, Bambi!”
Bambi stood frozen. A deer in the headlights.
In her hand was a laptop computer.
Chapter
56
Chief Harper was somewhat perplexed. “You take a recess to collect evidence against one person, and arrest another?”
“Yeah,” Cora said. “Isn’t that nice?”
“The prosecutor doesn’t think so. Now he’s got two people arrested for the crime.”
“Yeah, but he’s going to let Melvin go.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“I am. For one thing, he’s innocent. For another, if he holds him, he can’t hold the person who actually committed the crime. Both seem like excellent reasons for letting him go.”
“Assuming they’re true.”
“You know they’re true. Just look at the little hussy. Did you ever see a more guilty-looking woman?”
“Yeah, but she won’t talk. She asked for a lawyer and clammed.”
“What more proof do you need?”
Harper looked at her in exasperation. “How can you say that? You’re always haranguing me about defendants’ rights, and how stupid cops are for taking silence as an indication of guilt.”
“Yeah, when they’re innocent. Then it’s really stupid. But when you’ve got some bimbo who’s guilty as sin … Hell, the way she moves her hips is an indication of guilt.”
“I’m not sure you’re entirely rational on the point.”
“You’re the one not being rational, Chief. You got her laptop. She was apprehended trying to destroy it. You’re probably going to find the puzzles on it. Or at least the programs to create them.”
“Can you tell me what happened? In simple, plain English I can pass on to the district attorney?”
“I’ll use words of one syllable.”
Chief Harper gave her a dirty look.
“I’ll be good,” Cora said. “Here’s the dope. My ex-husband, Melvin, is a low-life, philandering creep.”
“You seemed quite close to him.”
“You wanna hear this or not?”
“Go on.”
“His wife, the redhead spitfire, doesn’t take it lying down. She fixates on him with the type of obsessive hatred only guys of his caliber can inspire.”
Harper raised his eyebrows.
Cora put up her finger. “I warned you.”
“I’m listening. I’m listening.”
“She pesters his girlfriend with the usual tactics. Did-you-know-he’s-married notes, stuff of that ilk. She spies on him, keeps a record of his indiscretions. They play the game. Melvin tries to hide stuff from her. She tries to find out.
“What he doesn’t try to hide is his alimony scheme. He’s always short of money. His excuse is the alimony he’s paying. The reality is the bimbo he’s banging. Anyway, my monthly bill is something he and the current Mrs. Melvin can agree on. Both would love to see it stopped.
“And so it comes to pass that Melvin has to go to Bakerhaven. It’s a business trip, he’s going with his lawyer, his wife can’t come. Of course, he’s going with his lawyer, but he’s not staying with his lawyer, because he’s going to be joined by the young and nubile Bambi.
“Here’s where the whole thing bites him in the ass, and you’ll pardon me a bit if I gloat. He’s cheating on his wife with his current girlfriend, but it doesn’t mean he’s dead. He tells Bambi it’s a business trip and she’s gotta stay behind, at least until he gets everything set for the hearing. It’s partly true; he is lining the witnesses up. But he also wants to get away from his current squeeze and check out the other fish in the sea.
“Lilly Clemson is female, and she has a pulse. Just Melvin’s type. He makes a play for her. Big mistake. The wide-eyed, innocent Bambi is actually a cold, calculating schemer.
“Bambi rents a car and follows. To see if Melvin is cheating on her. And what does she find? It’s a parade! Melvin’s being followed by his wife. Bambi spots Mrs. Melvin, but Mrs. Melvin doesn’t spot her. She probably plotzed when the woman turned into the same motel. What the hell! Was Melvin cheating on her with his own wife?
“But, no, Mrs. Melvin rents a unit, watches her husband from a distance. Bambi watches both of them. When Melvin goes out, he’s got a double tail. The redhead and the bimbo. Hmm. Sounds like a TV show. Bet I could pitch that.
“Melvin makes a play for the teller. Takes her to dinner, tries to talk his way upstairs. He’s spied on by his wife and his girlfriend.”
His wife is merely amused. This is the type of behavior she’s grown accustomed to from the philandering son of a bitch. But the bimbo is royally pissed, decides to fire a warning shot across the bow. Without revealing her presence, of course.
“Bambi’s a whiz at puzzles. What can I tell you, some airheads are. She composes a simple KenKen. Breaks into the banker’s house and leaves it there.”
“In his safe?” Harper said. “How the hell did she get into his safe? Don’t tell me she’s a safecracker, too.”
“It was probably unlocked. She was trying to make the room look like it had been searched. She took the picture down off the wall, found the safe. It was unlocked because there was nothing in it. Perfect. She pulls the door open, puts the KenKen in.
“And what was the point of the KenKen? To attract yours truly. The former Mrs. Melvin. The last link in the chain. Past, present, and future. He must have talked about me. She must have hated me as much as the current Mrs. M.
“Anyway, she left the KenKen. When you solve it, the top line gives you the amount of my alimony payment.”
“What?!”
“Didn’t I mention that?”
“You certainly didn’t.”
“Well, it didn’t mean anything to anyone but me.”
“It would have meant something to me if you’d told me.”
“Let’s not get off on a tangent. The point is, it’s a clue. Whoever composed the KenKen knew the amount of my alimony payment. Bambi wanted Melvin to get out of paying me alimony so he could spend the money on her. So Bambi would know. She put the amount in just to goad me.”
“When did you know this?”
Cora smiled. “Lets not start worrying about who knew what when. This isn’t the Watergate hear
ings.”
Harper scowled.
Cora pushed on quickly. “Which brings us to the first day in court. The banker testifies. I’m a little put off by the fact the guy who’s testifying against me is the same guy whose robbery I was just investigating. It’s a coincidence, and I don’t like coincidences, and I’m right, because it actually isn’t.
“Anyway, the banker testifies, and we break for lunch. Bambi’s back at the motel—at least, that’s what Melvin thinks—so he tries to take the teller out to lunch. A bad move, but then in Melvin’s case there’ve been so many. He makes another play for the teller, displeasing both wife and mistress. Some more than others.
“Bambi, born with a homicidal streak, might have offed the teller. But she hasn’t testified yet. And it is in her interests as Melvin’s girl that he stop shelling out money to me. No such problem with whackin’ the banker. He’s already testified. Or so Bambi thinks. She can’t have anticipated Becky will be smart enough to get the testimony thrown out. She goes off and composes the KenKen and the crossword puzzle.”
“Crossword puzzle? What crossword puzzle?”
“Oh. Didn’t I mention the crossword puzzle? This is a confusing case, Chief. So many things to keep straight.”
“There was no crossword puzzle found with Roger Randolph. Just a KenKen.”
“Right. The crossword puzzle came to my house. So it had nothing to do with the KenKen. It’s just a coincidence they were connected.”
“Really?” Harper said, suspiciously. “What did the crossword puzzle say?”
“Oh.”
“What was it?”
“ ‘Being a bad boy in court cut his life very short.’ ”
“You didn’t think that was connected to the crime?” Chief Harper said sarcastically.
“Not unless you think I did it. I don’t think I did it. So how could it possibly apply?”
“I don’t know. But don’t you think that should be up to the police to determine?”
“Absolutely. What do you think it means, Chief?”
“Don’t get smart with me. You’re getting in deeper every minute.”
“Don’t be silly, Chief. We’re solving the crime. All of this is just incidental. You wanna hear the rest of it, or you wanna beat me up?”