by Jinx, Hondo
“Which means nothing to me right now,” Johnny said. “What will that buy me?”
“You’ll see,” Paul said. “The bottom line is you need to get laid. Or at least get some oral.”
“Hold on,” Johnny said. “Are you telling me to spend credits on hooking up?”
“Yeah, you’re way past due,” Annabelle said.
“The research is clear, Johnny. You’ve been in the game for three days without so much as a handjob. If you don’t take care of that right away, the riders will desert you.”
“Three days without sex equals a mass exodus?” Johnny said. “What the hell is wrong with you people in the future?”
“We’re horny,” Annabelle said. “So what? You’re losing touch with reality here, Johnny. You’re the main character in a life-replacement scenario, remember?”
“I remember. I just didn’t know people in the future were a bunch of leg-humping dogs.”
“Ha ha,” Paul said dryly. “Look, Johnny. Your riders will put up with a lot. That dumbass stunt your first night being a prime example. But the one thing they will not tolerate is celibacy. They pay their subscription, they expect to get off.”
“Via you,” Annabelle qualified.
“Again, that’s pretty fucked up,” Johnny said.
“Spare me your 21st century ethics,” Paul said. “You didn’t watch porn?”
“Sure, but—”
“Then you have no right to judge these people for—”
“Bullshit,” Johnny said. “You go ahead and think what you want, buddy. But I’ll judge whoever I want, whenever I want. You might be able to pull the plug on me at any time, but you can’t control my thoughts.”
“Unfortunately, you are correct,” Paul said. “But I keep hoping an upgrade will allow us to control thoughts. It would make life so much easier!”
Johnny had the sudden, inexplicable urge to hop off the table and drop Paul with a right cross. But he assumed they really could deactivate him, so he said, “Look, I’m not against sex. In fact, I enjoy it. A lot. You want me to hook up, I’ll hook up. But spending credits on getting laid is like going to a prostitute.”
“Ugh,” Annabelle said, rolling her eyes. “I never would’ve pegged you as a tiresome moralist, Johnny. All consensual sex is transactional, okay? Whether partners do it for money, love, security, pleasure, or baby making, everybody has a reason. And everybody has their price.”
“Wow,” Johnny said. “Romance really is dead in the 22nd century, huh? No wonder you guys don’t date. You’re a bunch of hard asses.”
“Are you finished?” Paul said, crossing his spindly arms over his chest. “Because we’re trying to save you here, all right? Look, you won’t be going to a prostitute. By spending credits, you’ll just be purchasing an experience.”
Johnny laughed. “What’s the difference?”
“The girl, for starters,” Annabelle said. “She won’t be turning tricks. You and she will just end up going to bed together. She’ll get the urge, and Vicarus will make it happen.”
“Super weird,” Johnny said. “But look, I don’t need credits to get laid. I can just—”
“No,” Paul said. “There’s no time. You have to take care of business now. Think of our ratings. We have a lot riding on this!”
“You know, Paul,” Johnny said, grinning at the prospector, “you seem pretty uptight. Maybe you ought to be spending a few credits yourself.”
“Enough,” Annabelle said. “We’re trying to help, Johnny. I assume you want to keep on living.”
“Of course.”
“Well, that’s what’s on the line. Think of it as spending credits on survival if that helps, but buy a sexual experience. And before you start fretting, no, you can’t get an STD. There are no sexually transmitted diseases in Vicarus scenarios. No unwanted pregnancies, either.”
“Good to know,” Johnny said, but he knew all too well from personal experience that sex could result in other sorts of fallout, too. “How about unwanted relationships?”
“Nope,” Annabelle said. “Unless you specify otherwise, we’re talking no strings attached, 100% stalker free.”
Paul offered a shitty smile. “Of course, you might want to think that through. Until you build a loyal subscriber base, you should get off at least every few days. Maybe having a stalker to use as a living sex doll wouldn’t be so bad.”
“No thanks.”
“A relationship, then?” Annabelle said, smiling slyly. “Why not have your encounter with someone you like? Freddie’s cute. I like her hair.”
Johnny shook his head but didn’t explain his reasoning. His thoughts about Freddie were none of Paul and Annabelle’s business.
“The maid, then,” Paul said. “What’s her name, Missy?”
“Millie,” Johnny corrected him, “and no.”
“What about—”
“Wait,” Johnny said, putting two and two together. “You’re telling me I can arrange this encounter with anyone?”
Grinning, Paul nodded.
Geez, Johnny thought, it’s a high school kid’s dream come true. The whole thing made him feel weird.
“Look, Johnny,” Annabelle said. “We’re almost out of time. You’re about to interface with the Vicarus store. 250 credits is a lot. Spend it wisely.”
“Buy sex first,” Paul said. “Look for a multi-encounter discount.”
Annabelle nodded. “Sex on tap is always a good idea when you’re starting out. Remember, this isn’t about you. It’s about the riders.”
“Yeah,” Paul said, “don’t be selfish. Oh, and with your other credits, you might consider buying a—”
Whatever Paul had been going to say was lost, because the prospectors disappeared, and Johnny once more found himself floating in that white non-space where he’d originally seen his stats floating in midair.
Chapter 18
Now, instead of his stats, the words Welcome to the Vicarus Rewards Store, Current Balance 250 Vicarus Credits floated before him. As he scanned these words, the lovely female voice he’d heard before read them aloud.
The words disappeared, and the voice narrated the words that followed.
First, select your rewards category. To begin, touch the interactive menu.
A list of strobing, pink options appeared in midair.
Gear
Juice
Experiences
Johnny reached out and touched Gear first.
The disembodied voice read aloud as a submenu with equipment categories opened.
Weapons
Clothing
Food, Drink & Herbs
Drugs & Alcohol
Transportation
Residential
Miscellaneous Items & Equipment
Money
Wanting a baseline, Johnny selected Money first. The voice narrated.
Current conversion rate: 1 Vicarus Credit per Fight Town Dollar
“What does it mean by ‘current’ conversion rate?” Johnny asked. “Does money become cheaper or more expensive over time?”
“Would you like to convert credits into dollars?” the voice asked.
“You’re not going to answer my question, are you?”
“I’m sorry. I could not understand your response. Please respond with yes, no, or main menu.”
Holy shit, Johnny thought. Sexy voice or not, I’m dealing with a futuristic version of automated customer service. The 22nd century really does suck!
“Would you like to convert credits into dollars?” the voice asked again.
“It’s tempting,” Johnny said, thinking aloud. “I mean, a buck goes a long way in Fight Town. But I want to see what else is available first.”
“I’m sorry. I could not understand your response. Please respond with yes, no, or main menu.”
“No,” Johnny said, and the Gear menu reopened.
He glanced at the weapons. There weren’t many listed. A pistol was 15 dollars. Shotguns were 20. Rifles were 25.
The weapons menu also offered choices such as axe, knife, bat, sap, and straight razor.
Based on what Johnny had seen so far, the only weapons he’d be needing were his fists.
The clothing options were equally vague, offering such items as t-shirt, suit jacket, and the comparatively descriptive black leather jacket with zipper.
He did notice, however, that the prices seemed to be good. At least these shorts, t-shirts, and sneakers cost less than those he’d purchased at the five and dime.
It pays to shop at the company store, Johnny thought.
Then he noticed the last two articles of clothing.
Shirt with minor protection: 20 Vicarus Credits
Shirt with moderate protection: 100 Vicarus Credits
Interesting. So the shirts offered some degree of protection.
“What kind of protection do the shirts offer?”
“I’m sorry. I could not understand your response. Would you like to purchase an article of clothing? Please respond with yes, no, or main menu.”
“No.”
It might be nice to have a shirt that protected his ribs if he was going to spar some heavy-handed body puncher. Then again, he wouldn’t want to rely on it too often. He needed to condition his body to take the punishment he would receive once he was shirtless in the ring.
Johnny left Clothing and browsed the other Gear selections.
Apparently, the store showed only items he could afford. Under transportation, his only options were skateboard, bicycle, and unicycle.
Really, Vicarus? A unicycle?
The Residential category was empty, so apparently there were no two-hundred-and-fifty-dollar mansions on the market.
Bummer.
In some categories, the choices were so numerous he barely skimmed them.
He almost skipped Food, Drink & Herbs but was glad he didn’t, since he realized that the offerings, though expensive, enhanced juice cultivation.
Interesting.
The Drugs & Alcohol menu offered substances that would get you where you wanted to go without messing up your juice.
Again, interesting.
Johnny had never been into drugs, but he hoped he’d have enough for a six-pack. It would be nice to catch a buzz without having to worry about what it was doing to his juice cultivation.
Having gained a decent understanding of the Gear category, he backed out to the main menu and entered the Juice menu, which offered three subcategories: Healing, Modifiers, and Points.
He selected the Healing subcategory.
Minor Healing: 4 Vicarus Credits
Moderate Healing: 20 Vicarus Credits
Complete Healing: 100 Vicarus Credits
There was no further explanation, but given the price, he assumed Minor Healing would be on par with zip.
Complete Healing was pretty much self-explanatory.
Moderate healing would be somewhere in the middle.
Interesting that they were nested within the Juice category. So healing was also governed by juice?
He opened the Modifiers subcategory.
10-minute Juice Boost, 5%: 20 Vicarus Credits
3-minute Agility Stat Boost, 25%: 10 Vicarus Credits
3-minute Chin Stat Boost, 25%: 10 Vicarus Credits
3-minute Endurance Stat Boost, 25%: 10 Vicarus Credits
3-minute Power Stat Boost, 25%: 10 Vicarus Credits
3-minute Speed Stat Boost, 25%: 10 Vicarus Credits
3-minute Strength Stat Boost, 25%: 10 Vicarus Credits
10-minute Recovery to Full Juice: 20 Vicarus Credits
Noticing something, Johnny reread the list.
There was no option for a Heart Stat Boost.
So maybe 100 points was max after all. Was that also true of a temporarily boosted stat?
Probably.
It would be impossible to tell, though, with his current stats. Even chin, his highest stat this side of heart, would only rise to 99 if boosted by 25%.
He also assumed, given the price of the Recovery option, that the 10-minute boost only started you at these enhanced numbers. From there, if you were training or fighting, your power would probably ebb like that of any person with those stats undergoing similar activities.
Then, at the end of the 10 minutes, wham—a major crash.
Whatever the case, all these modifiers tempted Johnny. Remembering his sparring session, he imagined how great it would be to climb through the ropes with higher juice stats and then, after reaching exhaustion, to be able to restore himself to full juice.
Which made him wonder: were the riders with him now? Did they see his options? Were they sprawled out in their pods, shouting the choices they would make?
Probably.
Because people loved to play armchair quarterback, back seat driver, and likely pod-side Vicarus shopper. This allowed them to get fired up and pontificate night and day without ever having to live with the consequences of their would-be choices.
Then, when Johnny eventually screwed up, his riders would enjoy the delicious triumph of saying I knew he should have chosen an agility boost!
Yeah. It was all too easy to picture. And suddenly, Johnny was certain that his riders weren’t just watching and judging his choices but also popping off on Vicarus forums and the web-mind or whatever social media had become in the 22nd century.
If he chose any of the boosts or the recovery option, some of these riders would no doubt dub him a cheater, as they would if he wore a protective shirt during sparring.
Which was all well and good if they were riding along at home with the option to bail or switch perspectives whenever they wanted. Let them commit to taking every punch and hanging in Johnny’s body later, when he choked on mucus and pissed blood. Then see what they had to say.
But despite being able to justify these boosts, Johnny wasn’t sure he wanted to use them. Not habitually, anyway. Doing so might keep him from progressing on his own.
Also, he did give a shit what his riders thought. Not the ones who would inevitably second-guess him and call him stupid. But the ones who’d stuck with him. The ones Paul and Annabelle considered anomalies.
They wanted a slow, steady build and were willing to work hard to progress. That mentality might not appreciate him strapping the juice equivalent of a jet pack onto his abilities.
And if he lost his core audience, he would lose everything. So yeah, even if he picked up a temporary boost or two, he would use them only with caution.
He switched to the Points subcategory and smiled.
+1 Permanent Agility Stat Increase: 100 Vicarus Credits
+1 Permanent Chin Stat Increase: 100 Vicarus Credits
+1 Permanent Endurance Stat Increase: 100 Vicarus Credits
+1 Permanent Power Stat Increase: 100 Vicarus Credits
+1 Permanent Speed Stat Increase: 100 Vicarus Credits
+1 Permanent Strength Stat Increase: 100 Vicarus Credits
These were super tempting. Having a temporary boost would be nice in a pinch, but a permanent boost?
Awesome.
Also, this sort of slower, permanent leveling up would likely be more in line with what his core audience really appreciated. Hell, it was more in line with what he appreciated.
Again, the menu offered no Heart Stat option. Was that because he’d maxed it out? Or were points beyond 100 not shown because they were so expensive that he couldn’t afford them at this time?
He also wondered how quickly he could raise his stats through cultivation, training, and proper lifestyle. Based on these prices and the gritty nature of Fight Town, he figured it probably took a lot of time and work.
He hoped to buy at least one permanent boost point.
But first, he had to look at the final category, Experiences, and follow Paul and Annabelle’s advice.
Honestly, the category should’ve just been called Sex. With few exceptio
ns—Make a Friend, Find a Job, and the oddly tempting Pet a Three-Legged Dog in a Bar—all of the options were sexual in nature.
Scanning the hundreds of sexual encounters available to him, Johnny decided the 22nd century was full of perverts. He did not want to swap genders for an hour, be dominated with or without penetration, have sex with an animal, or use his partner as a urinal.
Nope, his riders were stuck with a pretty vanilla guy, at least by their standards, based on the long and twisted menu of possibilities.
Whatever he wanted, the prices were shockingly cheap. Apparently, Vicarus, despite giving him a hard time in the ring, agreed with what Paul and Annabelle kept saying: sex sells.
Some of the Group Sex options tempted him—doing it with two or three girls at the same time had always been a fantasy of his—but his money would be better spent on other things right now.
So he scrolled down to the Bonus Pack subsection and zeroed in on Oral Sex with One Woman, Three Encounters for the low, low price of 1 Vicarus credit.
He touched the selection, and the disembodied woman’s voice said, “You have selected Oral Sex with One Woman, Three Encounters. Say yes to confirm this purchase, no to return to the Experiences menu, or main menu to return to the main menu.”
“Yes,” Johnny said, feeling ridiculous and a little embarrassed. Oh well, he thought, at least I didn’t select, Rough Anal with an Elderly, Albino. Hunchbacked Dwarf, Fifty Encounters.
“You have purchased Oral Sex with One Woman, Three Encounters. Your new balance is 249 Vicarus credits. Now, select your partner.”
Two options appeared: Someone You Know and Random Encounter.
After a few seconds’ hesitation, he chose Someone You Know.
“You have chosen Someone You Know. To—”
“Yes,” Johnny blurted, and a holographic image of Freddie’s pretty face appeared before him.
“Press the image to select this partner for Oral Sex with One Woman, Three Encounters,” the female voice said, “or swipe left to see additional options.”
For a second, Johnny stared at Freddie, tempted by her eyes and lips and smile, the strands of purple hair spilling down the front of the gray sweatshirt, and even her cat ears. But what most tempted him was Freddie’s personality. She was cool and funny and nice, and he really liked her.