Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 8

by Fujino Omori

  It had started as an ambition to make something equal to or greater than the Goddess of the Forge. His goal was to show her that he could create something in her league or even something beyond it.

  But that ambition changed little by little each time he stood in her presence.

  He was the same as Bell, plain and simple. An immense respect and admiration had quickly become a longing for his idol. The weapons she created were what caught his attention, but he soon fell for the goddess who forged them.

  He wasn’t naive enough to call it infatuation, nor was he formal enough to call it love.

  I’d prefer to call it…an occupational hazard.

  He continued to look at the side of the goddess’s face, with his smile and blushing cheek hidden by the palm of his hand.

  “…Or so you say. But is it true?”

  “?”

  The sun had almost completely emerged on the eastern horizon. Welf, who’d been getting teased this entire time, folded his arms across his chest and said that something didn’t add up. “I heard from that woman…from Tsubaki that you’ve been lonely since I left.”

  A blank look took over Hephaistos’s face.

  “Haaa…” A long sigh soon followed. “…My word, that child cannot keep a thing to herself.”

  She was neither flustered nor angry. She was just complaining about this slipup by one of her familia’s most well-known members.

  With Hephaistos admitting the truth right away, Welf had lost his only way to retaliate. But at the same time he was also a little sad…Finding out that she didn’t see him that way sent a twinge of pain through his heart.

  What’s more, realizing that Tsubaki’s choice of words had given him hope in the first place now made him want to curl up in a little hole and die.

  “Well, yes, it’s been much too quiet without you around. ‘Haaa, another one of my children has left the nest.’ That kind of empty feeling.”

  “Okay then…”

  Welf was too embarrassed to make eye contact despite her gentle tone. Instead, he stretched out his shoulder and squeezed the muscles with his other hand.

  “I would never say this to any of my followers…but you’re no longer in my familia, so yes, I’ll say it. I had my eye on you and couldn’t wait to see what you would become.”

  Hearing his goddess’s true thoughts once again threw Welf’s feelings into chaos.

  That was most likely the highest compliment she could give him as the Goddess of the Forge. As a smith, there was no greater honor. It made his body tremble.

  Whether or not Hephaistos knew what was going through Welf’s mind, she turned to face him with a twinkle in her eye and an evil grin on her lips.

  “And I was going to reward you if you ever forged something that satisfied me…Too bad.”

  She glanced at him out of the corner of her left eye, obviously teasing. At the same time, a switch flicked on inside Welf’s head as he looked at the crimson-haired, crimson-eyed goddess.

  “Is that still on the table?”

  “Is what still on the table?”

  “If I bring you a weapon that makes your jaw drop, will you still reward me?”

  Hephaistos, caught off guard for once, stuttered, “Y-yes. Yes, if you can,” to the young man whose cheeks were now as red as his hair.

  His rash attempt to secure a promise from another familia’s goddess a success, Welf took it a step further by harnessing the passion once again burning within him.

  “If I do…if I make a weapon that satisfies you, then I want you to be mine!”

  He said it.

  Welf overcame his reservations, as well as the roaring of his heart thumping in his ears, and watched Hephaistos carefully.

  After hearing his once-in-a-lifetime confession, the stunned goddess…tried to hide a giggle behind her fingertips.

  “I-I’m putting my neck out there and you…!”

  “Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee…! S-sorry, but I just…can’t help it…!”

  With her free hand on her stomach, the goddess’s body swayed as she laughed. In fact, her lungs were in pain because she couldn’t breathe.

  Finally calming down enough to wipe the tears flowing out of her left eye, Hephaistos smiled at him. “It’s been so long since I’ve had those words said to me.”

  “Huh?” Welf froze on the spot. Hephaistos continued.

  “Several of my followers a long time ago…Smiths confessed their love for me, just like you did.”

  Welf had become nothing more than a breathing statue. The Goddess of the Forge smiled at him with her left eye. “You’re being outdone by your predecessors.”

  Now he really wanted to die.

  This time, death sounded really, really good.

  An urge to jump off the roof shot through his body.

  Why are we all like this…?!

  Stubborn to a fault, it seemed smiths could confess their feelings only to someone far superior. Welf grabbed his beet-red head and cursed every smith who ever lived, including himself.

  Hephaistos continued to giggle to herself as the mortal experienced even more agony. However, her expression quickly became subdued.

  “However, not a single one succeeded.”

  Welf’s ears perked up. He raised his head from his hands.

  There was a grin on the goddess’s lips, the grin of someone issuing a challenge.

  “Will you be the first?”

  Welf forgot to breathe. He couldn’t even blink as the crimson-haired goddess looked right through him. A confident smile appeared on his face a few heartbeats later. He looked her square in the eye. “You bet I will.”

  He would make a weapon that surpassed magic swords, belonged in the higher realm, and exceeded this goddess’s expectations.

  Now he had more goals to achieve.

  The morning sun warming the side of his face, he exchanged glances with the goddess.

  “Still…all this talk about me being yours aside, it’s about time for you to find a partner of your own.”

  She must have been satisfied with Welf’s mental recovery because she changed the subject as she stretched her arms in the early morning light.

  At the same time…“Huh?” Welf tensed again, blindsided by her words.

  “You’re pretty stubborn, but I’m sure you can find yourself a great girl.”

  “H-hang on a sec! I’m not fooling around here…!”

  “Welf, there’s nothing to gain by pursuing an immortal like myself. A family will never happen.”

  Hephaistos forced a smile to try and stave off Welf’s latest advance.

  “Not to mention I don’t meet the standards of a true woman.”

  There was no sense of belittlement or self-scorn in her voice. The words naturally came out of her mouth as she reached for her right eye—and ran her fingers down the black bandage.

  “There’s a face under here that’s so hideous it’ll make you cringe.”

  “…!”

  “Strange, isn’t it? A goddess like me. I’ve never been able to figure it out, no matter how much thought I put into it. I was ridiculed by the other deities in Tenkai, constantly laughed at.”

  Her fingers softly ran down the bandage as she did her best to smile.

  The Goddess of the Forge, Hephaistos.

  The one with power over fire and metalwork possessed a “hideous” face unbecoming of a deity.

  Gods and goddesses were supposed to be the living embodiment of perfection. And yet, even with her divine powers of Arcanum, Hephaistos had been unable to do anything about the true face that made her the Goddess of the Forge.

  She had avoided interacting with her own kind, been called “grotesque,” and been laughed at throughout her entire existence.

  “To this day, there’s only been one goddess who didn’t laugh or jeer at me after seeing my true face—Hestia.”

  Hephaistos’s cheeks relaxed as she explained why there was a strong connection between her and the young goddess. Why Hestia w
as her one and only friend.

  “Even the ones who sought me out on Gekai became afraid. So please, don’t pursue this any further.”

  She flashed a meek grin before turning away from Welf.

  The young man watched her take a few steps, her back getting smaller.

  Welf stayed rooted to the spot for a moment before his eyes opened wide and he caught up with her in a few long strides.

  Although he knew it was on the verge of blasphemy for him to do so, Welf reached out and grabbed Hephaistos’s shoulder. Then he pulled her around to face him once again.

  Face-to-face with the shocked goddess, he reached out toward the black bandage with his left hand.

  “Wh-what are you doing?!”

  Ignoring her startled voice, Welf pulled the bandage off her face, his fingers gliding against the fringe of the deity’s crimson hair.

  Hephaistos didn’t budge. This was the first time for the young man to see both her eyes.

  The true face of the Goddess of the Forge was revealed.

  Standing slightly shorter than he, Hephaistos only stared up at him, crimson pupils trembling. As for Welf—his expression didn’t change in the slightest. “Meh,” he said with a shrug.

  The corners of his lips pulled back into a grin. “Come on, Lady Hephaistos, that’s nothing. Did you think I’d give up on you for something like this?”

  He gently placed the bandage in the goddess’s hands and gave her a resolute grin. “This is nowhere near enough to quell the fires you stoked in my heart.”

  The deity looked up at him for a few moments before slowly reattaching the black bandage that served as an eye patch.

  With almost half her face now covered, she lightly shook her head, crimson hair waving in the morning light as she looked at her former follower.

  “You certainly talk the talk.”

  “Now we’re even.”

  “Haaah! Smiths. Every single one of them stubborn and hating to lose.”

  Hephaistos returned his grin and added her own verbal jab.

  Welf knew he had finally taken a point back from the goddess. One look at her clear expression brought a shadow of pride to his face.

  The two stood beneath the sunrise. Surrounded by cool morning air, the young man and the goddess exchanged smiles.

  Later that day.

  Only those directly involved with the small-scale Rakian invasion knew what had occurred. Even most Guild employees were kept in the dark.

  Guild higher-ups thought that informing the public would do more harm than good, so they dealt with everything themselves. The captured enemy soldiers were held in chambers deep in the Pantheon, far out of sight.

  Life in Orario continued as normal, the citizens unaware of what might have happened had events turned out differently.

  Amid all that…

  “And then Welf—you know what Welf did?”

  In an office of the workshop, the voice of an exceptionally chipper goddess echoed off the walls.

  “You’ve told me seven times, Ladyship…”

  Hephaistos sat in a chair, cheeks in her hands and elbows on her desk. Tsubaki held a large stack of paperwork in her arms as she gave her goddess an annoyed glare.

  Ever since their conversation, Hephaistos had been going on and on about the moment that Welf captured her heart. Plain and simple, she sounded like a teenager with a crush. Of course when she was in front of him, and in front of her followers, she maintained the dignified air of a goddess. However, that was not the case in her private quarters.

  Softly blushing, Hephaistos began to recount her story with a giddy grin on her face. Tsubaki let out a long sigh and braced herself for the eighth time.

  “Sure took you long enough to find your feminine side…” muttered Tsubaki through gritted teeth.

  She was clearly frustrated that her high-spirited goddess hadn’t done any work all day. “Now you’ve done it…” she whispered out the window at the smith who had finally found a way to get back at her.

  Even later that day.

  As with Tsubaki, Hephaistos was unable to keep her story secret and spread the news even further. Other gods and goddesses knew every detail about her interaction with the man before nightfall. The line that had stolen her heart became a punch line. ““““Lame—!”””” Everyone had the same reaction, and the entertainment-starved deities had something to provide them with laughs for a long time to come.

  The naming ceremony of Denatus was scheduled for the next day. With this story fresh in their minds, they decided the young man’s title quickly and decisively.

  Henceforth, Welf Crozzo would bear the title of…Ignis, the Ever-Burning.

  And so it was that the young man was forced to endure a giggling Lilly and Hestia, a moved and inspired Mikoto and Haruhime, and Bell’s forced smile whenever the origin of his title was mentioned.

  He had to hide his blushing cheeks every single time.

  CHAPTER 4

  BELOVED BODYGUARD

  “Welcome back, brave adventurers. How can we assist you today?”

  Should adventurers ask for advice on how to improve the efficiency of their Dungeon prowling, the young women respond in bright and cheerful voices.

  “Right away, good sirs. I will inform your adviser, so please wait in the consultation box.”

  The girls’ eyes sparkle admiration every time an adventurer comes to report a Level Up.

  “Congratulations. Level Two…Your advancement to third-tier adventurer is now official. Keep up the good work and may good fortune smile upon you.”

  Should the adventurer’s true motive be to invite one of the lovely young ladies out for dinner that night, they smile from ear to ear while politely turning him down.

  “If you don’t have a pressing need, please allow others to the counter.”

  And whenever a newbie adventurer stands in front of the Dungeon entrance for the first time, the young women send them off with a smile.

  “Welcome to the Labyrinth City Orario. We, the Guild, are here to assist you.”

  The Guild Headquarters receptionists.

  Answering the needs of adventurers, they are the “flowers” of the Guild.

  The Guild Headquarters was as busy as ever.

  The white marble lobby was so crowded that at times it was hard to breathe. Adventurers came and went nonstop, wearing body armor and weapons of all kinds attached to their backs and waists, giving the air a distinct metallic smell. Elves carried staffs and bows; dwarves preferred axes and hammers. Demi-humans of all types were equipped with the weapons and armor that their race was best suited to wield.

  The adventurers worked their way through the busy lobby to one of the many bulletin boards or toward the receptionists waiting patiently on the other side of the counter.

  “Good morning, sir.”

  “Yes, concerning that issue”

  “The law clearly states that the one who finds valuable items in the Dungeon holds the rights to it. Therefore, it’s highly unlikely it will be returned…”

  Several lines formed in front of each receptionist. Each one of them listened intently to the problems of the adventurer in front of her window and worked to solve them.

  Each of the young women, hailing from a wide variety of races, was extremely professional. Humans, chienthropes, cat people, and even a few elves populated their ranks. If the young ladies had one thing in common, it was that every one of them was stunningly beautiful.

  The Guild receptionists were each a bombshell in her own right.

  Adventurers who came to Guild Headquarters almost always went to the reception counter first, so saying that the receptionists were their first image of the Guild wouldn’t be an overstatement. An adventurer’s opinion of the Guild, whether good or bad, had a direct effect on their efficiency in the Dungeon—how many magic stones they brought back each day. So, while skills and personality were considered during the selection process, the Guild prioritized looks when hiring its receptionist
s.

  This naturally created an environment where the many rugged, strong adventurers with a wild air about them could let their softer side show in front of the lineup of beautiful women and young ladies.

  “The quest has been successfully completed. Thank you for your hard work. The Guild shall inform the client that their request has been fulfilled.”

  Eina, a half-elf, was one of the Guild’s receptionists.

  Her brown hair was just long enough to sit on her shoulders. Emerald-green eyes looked out at the world from behind a pair of glasses. Her pointed ears, shorter than an elf’s but longer than a human’s, were a direct result of the thin elvish blood running through her veins.

  A female animal person had completed a quest that had been posted on the Guild’s bulletin board. Eina presented her with the reward that the client had provided.

  “Here is your reward. Please take it with you.”

  Eina smiled as the box of items changed hands, and she gave the adventurer a polite bow. She watched her turn to leave before going back to the counter to help the next person in line.

  This was her fifth year of working at the Guild.

  After graduating from the education district, circumstances at home had dictated that she find work immediately. She had chosen a career at the Guild, but even now she was surprised by how well this job suited her. Of course, it was not easy, and there were some trying times, but she felt it was worth it. She had always been a busybody, but now her workaholic nature was being put to use for the adventurers who journeyed into the Dungeon every day.

  Today was another hectic day where she dealt with one adventurer’s request after another.

  “Eina! Hey, Eina. Let’s go get some food!”

  “Sure. Sounds good.”

  At long last, it was time for their lunch break.

  The flood of adventurers had finally subsided, giving the sunlit lobby a moment of peace.

  The girls, who had worked diligently to solve every issue brought to their attention in a timely manner, stood up from their chairs and stretched their hands high into the air. Eina let herself relax for a moment just as a human coworker stationed at the next window over called out to her.