by Fujino Omori
The festival really came to life the moment Lady Hestia decided to participate. Everyone looks like they’re having a great time as I search the crowd to find Aiz…There she is. Standing next to a nearby house like a wallflower—well, maybe not a wallflower, but pretty close.
I jog over to her.
“Um, Miss Aiz.”
“…Yes?”
She’s watching the dance from a distance, almost like she’s trying not to be seen. It takes her a moment to respond. Even her posture makes her as small as possible.
“Everyone looks like they’re having a great time…”
A little human girl is dancing with her father; an animal mother is scolding her son as the giddy little boy runs circles around her.
Aiz squints, as if all of the villagers’ smiles are bright lights flashing around her.
“…Your dance was very good.”
“Eh…Th-thank you.”
“…You’re…a great dancer.”
“I-if you say so…”
“…”
“…”
An unexpected compliment brings an abrupt end to the conversation.
Aiz hasn’t stopped looking at the bonfire. She’s not trying to make eye contact with me. That’s normal for her, but still…
“Ah, um…Are you going to dance?”
“Everyone’s having a good time…I don’t want to ruin their fun.”
“You won’t!”
“And…I have no one to dance with.”
Her words were no louder than a whisper, but they blasted their way into my head. I come to a conclusion after a few moments of getting my thoughts together.
Cheeks flaring again, I work up the courage to speak.
“If…If you consider me worthy…”
With those words, Aiz finally looks in my direction with her eyes open wide.
“…You’ll…dance with me?”
“Ah, yes, but that’s only if you’re okay with it…?”
She watches with unblinking eyes as I turn even redder.
A few heartbeats pass and I slowly extend my hand
“—Boom!!”
“Ah.”
“Uphh!”
The goddess’s tackle blindsides me, nailing me in the ribs.
“What’s this, Wallensomething? You have no one to dance with? I’d be happy to dance with you right now!”
“…Thank you?”
Ignoring my stumble to the side, the goddess grabs Aiz’s hand and doesn’t take no for an answer.
Aiz blinks several times in confusion as Lady Hestia guides her toward the bonfire.
Then they start to dance.
One, a cute youthful goddess; the other, a beautiful young girl with a mysterious air about her.
Twin black ponytails and long blond hair sway with the two figures, gleaming in the light of the bonfire. Wearing the same style of clothing, they look like close sisters.
The dance shared by the dazzling young goddess and the elegant young girl receives the loudest applause of the night.
Men and women, the elderly and the children—everyone in the village claps their hands and smiles at the two beautiful girls.
My grin widens every moment that I watch them, to the point I have to open my mouth to contain it on my face.
Surrounded by so many happy faces, the two are surprised when they first notice…but then smile back with just as much joy.
The gladness continues long into the night. The festival maintains its celebratory atmosphere, the goddess happily beaming along with everyone else until the bonfire goes out.
The festival is winding down.
The goddess, Aiz, and I are resting in a corner of Edas Village.
“Uwahh, that’s enough running around for one day…I’m so tired.”
“Th-that’s why I told you to take it easy…”
The goddess listlessly takes a seat on the ground. She ended up spending the entire night dancing with those kids, so I’m not surprised. She wasn’t even at full strength to begin with, and she pushed too hard. I remind her of that in a quiet voice.
Aiz, silently standing next to us, watches our short conversation with the tiniest of grins on her lips.
“Okay, then, what’s our plan from here…?”
Plenty of men are still in the village square. They should be cleaning up, but most are drunk and still laughing among themselves. Letting them do their thing, I pose a question. The goddess, who had been massaging her shoulder while absentmindedly staring at the boulder-like black scales that mark the boundary between the village and the forest, looks up at me.
“Oh, I’m good to go. Took a bit longer than I hoped, but I can walk just fine now.”
Aiz doesn’t say anything at first. The top-class adventurer does, however, make eye contact with us and nod.
“We leave the village…tomorrow morning.”
We’ll make sure everything is ready tonight and then wait for the sun to rise before making a return to Orario.
Neither the goddess nor I object to Aiz’s plan.
The three of us look around the village that we will soon be leaving, taking in the mountain scenery one last time.
“My Lady!”
That’s when it happens.
A shrill voice erupts from the back of the village at the same time a woman comes rushing toward us.
It’s Kam’s daughter, Rina. She comes up to us, and I can tell immediately something’s wrong. She can barely breathe.
A monster’s roar echoes off in the distance. Hearing the beast’s ominous howl and seeing the tears threatening to fall from her eyes make my heart sink.
She places a hand on her chest as a tear breaks free. Her voice sounds forced and shaky when she finally gets the words out.
“Would you see my father off…on his journey to heaven?”
Aiz, the goddess, and I file into the room. Kam is in his bed, surrounded by all his adopted sons.
His face is a ghastly color, his eyes closed.
I stop cold. All traces of life are gone from him.
“…Father wanted to see you one last time.”
One of his sons invites us to come forward. I’m speechless.
How can this be? I mean, I was talking to him like any other day just before the festival started—
“I understand what’s going on with me better than anyone.”
Is this what he meant…when he said that?
I still haven’t moved. Aiz has her mouth clamped shut, and the goddess is holding her breath.
That’s when Kam slowly opens his eyes.
“…Ohh, Goddess. Thank you so much…for coming…”
“…No need to be a stranger, Kam. You’ve done so much to help me that I would come running at your call.”
Kam’s weak gaze falls on the goddess first, and he smiles.
The goddess forces a bubbly grin and walks to the side of the bed.
“When I first met you, memories of my beloved goddess, Brigit, came back to me…”
The goddess’s eyes fly open in surprise upon hearing the name of Kam’s former goddess.
“Did you say Brigit? Blond hair, deep-red eyes—that Brigit?”
“Do you…know of her…?”
“You bet I do! Brigit’s a good friend of mine! We used to play together all the time up in Tenkai; argued, too!”
A hint of surprise fills Kam’s gaze. What a coincidence, to have a connection through our goddesses. “Is that right…” he says with a weak smile.
“She was ever so kind…Treating everyone fairly and loving a lowly human like myself.”
“Say what? She did? Kam, you’ve been duped! She resorts to calling me ‘Tiny’ and all sorts of other names the moment she loses the upper hand in an argument. And she’s barely a smidgen taller than me! I bet she just wanted to look good in front of you and made sure you didn’t see how she really is.”
“Ha-ha-ha…Really? I never knew.”
I can tell Lady Hestia is trying t
o lift his spirits. Kam tries to laugh but fails.
Actually, just saying that much looks painful, like he’s wracking every word out of his body.
The small smile he made completely disappears after a few moments, leaving his face blank and emotionless.
“Goddess, please tell me…Will I see her, once I arrive in heaven…?”
“…Brigit will find you, I’m sure of it. She’s rather insistent about getting what she wants.”
Kam hears those words.
Then speaks again, barely above a whisper…like he’s talking to himself.
“I’m scared…Scared I won’t meet her, scared to see her…So scared.”
The light in his eyes wilts like the last petals of a flower as he gazes up at nothing in particular.
His last moments drawing near, Kam’s one and only daughter bites her lip to keep from crying out.
“Lady Brigit, please forgive me…I couldn’t protect you, please forgive…”
Kam weakly lifts his trembling right hand into the air. But only just, like he’s using the last of his strength to reach out to heaven.
His sons must be unable to see their father burdened by intense guilt in this weak state, because they look away with their mouths clamped shut. Aiz and I avert our eyes and stare at the floor.
Then Lady Hestia steps forward.
She slowly wraps both hands around Kam’s.
“Thank you, Kam. Thank you for your love.”
The goddess’s voice is completely different.
“”
Kam opens his eyes as wide as they’ll go.
Aiz, I, and everyone in the room suddenly focus on Lady Hestia.
That’s not her voice. The tone, the words, even the rhythm has changed.
It’s like someone else is using her body, looking down on one child with a loving, affectionate gaze and speaking.
She must be using her knowledge of Kam’s goddess to speak and act like she thought her acquaintance would.
“Even now…and forevermore, I shall always love you.”
The goddess’s voice is so rhythmic and smooth that she sounds like a loving mother putting her child to sleep.
A goddess’s sonnet of love.
Tears fall from Kam’s eyes.
“Hhhhha…!”
Eyes that should have been withered and dry are now glistening under the magic-stone lamps.
His lips tremble, like he’s seeing something on the other side of his aimless gaze.
“Lady Brigit, I…I, too.”
Love you.
Those were Kam’s last words.
The last of the strength in the hand in Lady Hestia’s fades away, and it goes limp in her grasp.
The tears of his adopted children start falling to the floor. His daughter hides her face in her hands, collapsing on the spot.
I’m crying, too.
The tears aren’t stopping.
My vision blurs to the point that I can’t really see the man whose spirit has just left us. I try to wipe the tears away with my arm.
Even Aiz is covering her face.
Lady Hestia squeezes his hand before gently placing it across his chest.
The countenance of the man who devoted his love to a goddess is by far the calmest, most at-peace expression I’ve ever seen in my life.
The moon’s light is shining through the trees.
The howls of distant monsters are gone, leaving the forest eerily silent.
I found a small clearing among the trees and took a seat at the base of the closest one and leaned back against it. Haven’t moved since.
“So this is where you’ve been, Bell.”
The sound of leaves underfoot reaches my ears as I sit cross-legged, my head drooping. That voice…it’s the goddess’s.
We’re north of the village, a ways into the forest.
After Kam died, I came to this spot by myself.
News of his passing traveled through Edas Village very quickly. Villagers who would normally be asleep gathered at his home right away. Everyone who saw him lying in that bed was devastated and shed more than their share of tears.
I…I couldn’t take hearing all the sobbing and grieving voices…I needed to get away, to escape.
“…”
“…”
The goddess sits down next to me.
We sit in silence under the dark-blue night sky. My head still drooping, I try to speak.
“Goddess…”
“What is it?”
“Will Kam be able to reunite with Lady Brigit on the other side?”
The fate of the spirit that has left Gekai and returned to Tenkai.
I want to know if Kam really has a chance of seeing the goddess who was sent back before him all those years ago.
“…That might be…difficult. There are some of us, like Freya, who are special, but the fate of the children’s spirits is the responsibility of the gods who control death. It’s not like anyone can pick and choose which spirits they judge.”
The spirits that travel to Tenkai get purified—returned to a pure “blank” state before being reborn into another life on Gekai.
The goddess explains the process to me, but I tighten my grip on my legs with every word.
Silence once again descends on the forest.
“—So then, children shouldn’t fall in love with gods after all. Is that what you’re thinking?”
“!”
My shoulders quiver.
Lifting my head, the goddess’s smile is right there to greet my eyes.
“After what happened at the manor, I thought you were just too stubborn for your own good…but that’s not it.”
She looks at me with those blue eyes as if she can see through everything. They’re only half open, a kind gaze.
“I forgot something very important about you. You can see pain that you’ve felt in others…and you’re afraid to inflict that pain on anyone. Am I right?”
My head droops again.
She…She saw right through me.
“Is it the pain from your grandfather’s death that’s holding you down?”
It is.
With Gramps gone, leaving me alone, there was no warmth to be felt. I remember it all too well. I remember my heart feeling empty, all the pain I endured when he passed on.
I know the pain of those who are left behind.
I know how Kam felt. He was suffering all the way up until the moment he was saved by the goddess.
—However, the end will always come for mortals like us.
Through our own death and rebirth, we can forget the pain of our previous life.
—What about gods and goddesses?
They live forever, so there is no forgetting. There’s no way for them to soothe the scars left on their hearts after we leave this realm.
From friend to family, family to lover, and lover to partner—the deeper the bond gets, the more special it becomes, the deeper the scar that will be left behind. Is there any way for deities to escape the torment of loss?
Gods and goddesses can’t grow old with us.
They will be left behind without question.
So, falling in love with them will only make them suffer.
Is pain—agony worse than what I felt after losing my family—promised to the deities who develop those strong feelings for mortals?
Causing that much pain is scary. I’m afraid of the sadness, the anguish.
It’s not the same as with two people—it’s an emptiness that can be felt by only deities, who cannot die.
“—Bell. Our love lasts but a moment.”
That’s what Lord Miach said. Lord Hermes said the same thing.
A deity’s love is over in a flash. And an eternity of emptiness is waiting for them after that one second of love.
The price of one moment of bliss: everlasting pain and sadness.
That’s terrifying.
The loss that I felt after Gramps passed away, possibly even worse, will continue for
hundreds, thousands, millions of years.
Absolutely horrifying.
“…Bell. Please don’t think too hard about this. We—”
Not possible.
I close my eyes.
I don’t even try to listen to her words, staying quiet like a kid and letting her voice drift into background noise.
The scale of “forever” is impossible for me to comprehend. I just can’t do it.
And if I were in their shoes—I couldn’t deal with it.
Carry the burden of loss, even more painful than the one I felt, for the rest of eternity?
To make a deity carry that burden of loss?
If that’s the price, it’s better not to love at all.
It’s the same as the romances between fairies and heroes. A romance between gods and mortals will never have a happy ending.
Us and them—we can’t live the same life.
“…You know, Bell, gods and children might not be able to live out the same lives.”
As if she had read my thoughts like a book, she hits the nail right on the head.
I keep my gaze down, but I feel her left hand on top of my right.
“But I will always be by your side.”
“Huh?”
My drooping head is lifted by her kind words.
“No matter how old you get, even if you become a bald, wrinkly old man, I will always be with you. You think I would ever leave?”
She looks back at me, eyes overflowing with affection.
“And even if death forces us to separate…I will find you.”
A smile grows on her face.
“No matter how many hundreds, thousands, millions of years it takes, I will find you after your rebirth…Even after you’re no longer you, I’ll still be at your side.”
“”
Words have left me, but the goddess continues.
“When I find you, I’ll say, ‘Would you join my familia?’”
The day when we first met, she asked me the very same thing.
“ah.”
I think I’m going to cry.
My jaw clenches.
Body trembling, I look up at her and try desperately to keep the tears back.
She wraps both her arms around me and gently embraces my shoulders.
“Gekai and Tenkai are just places—they don’t mean a thing. We’re just like Brigit and Kam. I will come find you again.”
Her arms softly wrap around my head.