“Oh my god,” was all Sarah could say.
“I’m calling the cops right now!” Adam was angrier than I had ever seen him. His face started turning red as he walked out to make the phone call.
While Adam was talking to the police, Sarah and I questioned the doctor further. He told us that with time Jackson will get better. We just needed to be patient, it could take months. He would need to stay in the hospital for a while longer.
On the way home from the hospital, Adam asked me why neither one of us had said anything before. Why was he just hearing this now.
“We thought it was not that serious. We thought we could handle it. Obviously we were wrong. I’m sorry. If one of us had said something before, this might not have ever happened.”
“You’re damn right it wouldn’t have happened. I would have fired her on the spot for pushing you into the cake. That was unforgivable.” He was really angry.
“You’re right. I wish I would have told you now. This is my fault.” I was devastated. It really was my fault. If Jackson died I was never going to forgive myself.
“I wish you would have said something, but it’s not your fault. Annabelle is the one that did this, and she is going to pay.” Adam tried to make me feel better. It didn’t work.
By the time the police got to our house, Annabelle and her mother were gone. The other employees said they had left right after Jackson went into the hospital. We were so engrossed in what was happening with him that we didn’t even notice they were gone. We had only been back and forth to the house a few times, to shower and take short naps. We wanted to spend as much time as we could with Jackson.
I was afraid that she was never going to pay for what she did to Jackson. She was long gone and we might never find her. And, even if the cops did find her, how were they going to prove it? The kitchen wasn’t under lock and key. Anyone in the house could have gotten into the pantry and spiked the food. But if they did that, then we would all be sick. So, how could anyone, other than Annabelle, poison only Jackson and no one else. I didn’t think it was possible that anyone else had done it. It was painfully obvious that it was her. I just didn’t think it could be proven. Well, she would have to be found first. That was going to be the hard part.
Chapter 19
A few weeks later, Jackson was well enough to be released from the hospital. However, he was far from cured, and would require a really long time before he would be feeling his old self again.
While Jackson was recuperating I rarely left his side. I didn’t give a rat’s ass what people thought. As far as they were concerned I was just a worried family member. I read to Jackson a lot, or we just sat and talked for hours on end. He was slowly gaining back his strength, but it was taking a long time. He had almost died and it was going to take a while to recover from that.
I did most of the talking. It was still a strain on Jackson to talk too much. He was stronger, but still very weak. I told him jokes. Really lame jokes. But, he laughed like they were the funniest things he had ever heard. He was humoring me. I knew it and he knew it. We had so much fun together.
I also read him books. Since I had to do the reading, he had to listen to me read books that I liked. I wasn’t about to spend hours and hours reading the stupid science fiction stuff that he liked. I read him chick books, romance novels, that sort of thing. Funny thing is, he didn’t seem to mind. He just laid there and listened. I think he just wanted me to be there with him. He would endure even romance novels to make that happen. I liked that.
We became very close during that time, even closer than we had been before. I really got to know him. He had his faults, but he was a pretty special guy.
We spent some time talking about our relationship, or whatever it was. We debated about whether we should tell anyone or not, and ultimately decided it was better not to. No one would understand, least of all Adam and Sarah. They would absolutely freak, I had no doubt about that. We were cousins after all. I don’t think it was illegal or anything. It was just not really done. No one would understand. However, it wasn’t like we were raised together or anything. We had never even met until a few months prior. Never even saw each other on holidays, like some cousins do. So really, we were no different than any other strangers that meet and fall in love.
Love. Is that what it was? I don’t know. I had never been in love before. I knew that I really cared for him, but wasn’t sure if it was love or not. Hopefully I would figure that out with time. Time is something we had a lot of. With Jackson being pretty much bedridden, we had many many hours to be together, and possibly figure out what this was between us.
I’m pretty sure that Jackson was in love with me. I could see it in his eyes, though he never actually said so. Sometimes you can just tell. He wanted me to be there with him all the time. He hated it when I left his room, even for a short time. It actually felt a little clingy to me, but I could understand. He was lonely and I was really the only person in the house that he wanted to hang out with. I felt the same way toward him.
Sometimes Adam or Sarah would come in and send me away. They thought I was spending way too much time inside and needed some ‘fresh air.’ I think they just wanted to be able to spend some time with him too. I have to admit that I was hogging up most of Jackson’s days. I just didn’t want to leave him alone. I was scared to. Even though Annabelle was probably far far away, never to be seen again, I still worried. I was afraid she would sneak back in one day to finish the job. It was paranoid of me, I know. I just couldn’t help it. She had really tried to kill him and had almost succeeded. I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen. Besides, I might be her next target. She really was a crazy freak.
On those days that I was banished from his room for a while, I spent a lot of time alone walking the estate and riding Jett. I enjoyed my long, quiet rides. So much time to think. One day after returning from a long ride, I was raking out Jett’s stall, lost in thought and enjoying the quiet, when I heard a voice behind me.
“Hi.” The voice was quiet, but made me jump and drop the rake anyway. I thought I was alone and it startled me. I spun around to face him. He started to laugh.
“What are you laughing at?” I demanded.
“Sorry. I just didn’t expect to see you hit the ceiling like that.” He was still laughing. It made me laugh too.
He was cute. I guessed about my age and had blond hair, medium height, and the cutest freckles on his nose. He was darn adorable.
“Who are you anyway?” I asked as I bent over and picked up the rake. I was over being startled and was just curious then.
“I’m Ethan. My dad is a ranch hand here. I help him out after school and on the weekends.”
“I’ve never seen you before. Is this your first day?”
He chuckled.
“What?” I asked, perplexed by his response.
“No, my dad has worked here for years. I’m here all the time. I’ve seen you riding your horse with Jackson. He’s your cousin, right?”
“Yeah, right,” I said, a little embarrassed. I prided myself on knowing the people that worked on the ranch and not being the snooty boss that Sarah was. She refused to ‘fraternize with the help.’ But I couldn’t remember ever having seen Ethan.
“I know all about you being kidnapped as a little kid and coming back here to live,” he informed me. Boy, no beating around the bush for him. He just came straight at me with it.
“Do people around here have nothing better to do than gossip about me?” I was starting to get a little annoyed.
“I guess not,” he replied.
“Hmm. Well I’m done here. See you later.” I certainly didn’t want to get into a discussion about my kidnapping with a complete stranger. It was really none of his business. I hung up the rake and started walking toward the house.
“Hey. Why do you rake the stalls yourself? You have a bunch of people around here to do it for you. That’s their job, right?” he asked as I walked away.
“Because
I want to. I wasn’t raised having people wait on me hand and foot,” I responded without turning around or slowing my stride. Somehow I knew he was smiling.
I seemed to see Ethan around the estate a lot after that. Was he always around before and I just didn’t notice? He said he was. We talked occasionally, but that was about it. He wasn’t a big talker, kind of quiet and he didn’t pay much attention to me most of the time.
After a while, I found myself looking around for him whenever I went for a walk or for a ride. Usually he was busy, so we didn’t even talk. He would wave and I would wave back, and that would be the end of it. I still spent a lot of time with Jackson, so it really was just once in a while when we would run into each other.
One beautiful, sunny day I was sitting in the garden reading. The flowers were all blooming and it was probably the best spot on earth to be at that moment. I didn’t want to be anywhere else. It was like my own special little world, all by myself, sitting amongst the roses and other aromatic blooms. I was reading a fantastic book that I just couldn’t put down. I was so into it that I didn’t notice anyone walk up behind me.
“Hi,” he said and I jumped, dropping the book on the rock path in front of the bench I was sitting on.
“Jeez, would you stop doing that?” I said as I started to reach for the book. But, he got to it first and handed it to me.
“Sorry. I thought you heard me walk up,” Ethan replied.
“No, I was so into this book that I probably wouldn’t have heard a piano fall out of the sky.” I was smiling.
“Must be a pretty good book.”
“It is,” I responded.
“I just wanted to ask you something.” He seemed really nervous.
“Okay, sure.”
Ethan looked down at the ground shyly. “Well, um, I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me sometime?” He looked up at me expectantly.
I really didn’t know how to respond. I was technically seeing Jackson, even though no one knew about it. On the other hand, we never said we were exclusive and Ethan was pretty cute. I had never been on a real date before. Jackson and I mostly just hung around the estate together, or went into town for a soda or shopping. Not really dates as far as I figured. Heck, why not? It was just one date. Might be fun. Besides, it would be a while until Jackson was back on his feet anyway. He didn’t need to know.
“Well?” Ethan asked.
"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking. Sure, I’d like to,” I said, feeling a little guilty already.
“Cool. How about tomorrow? We can go into town and have dinner. Pick you up around seven?” he asked.
“Um, how about I just meet you by the horse statue downtown? I have a bunch of things to do anyway and that would just be easier.” I didn’t want him showing up at the house to pick me up. It would take about 30 seconds before my parents and Jackson heard about it.
“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll see you then.” He walked away without saying another word.
Then it hit me. Holy cow, I have a date! What am I going to wear?
I spent the rest of the evening trying on almost everything that I had in my closet. Sarah came in briefly once to tell me that the tutor wouldn’t be here on Monday. She asked me what I was doing and I had to think quickly. I told her that I was just organizing my closet and pulling out a few things that I really didn’t wear much, to give to charity. She seemed satisfied with that answer and moved on to her next task.
Wow, she was really oblivious to anything going on in my life. This was the mother that life handed me. She was never going to be the touchy, feely kind of mom that baked me cookies and wanted to sit and listen to what happened during my day. Oh, how I longed for that kind of mother. Someone that would be my best friend and always love me no matter what. I knew I could be difficult at times, but a real mom should love me and want to be with me anyway, right? I had never had that. Probably would never have that. I seriously doubt Sarah was going to change. If me coming back into her world after thirteen years lost didn’t make her want me, nothing would. I just didn’t get her. But, I guess she was better than no mother at all.
Finally, I settled on a pretty royal blue dress that I had never worn before. I thought he’d like it.
The next day I told Adam and Sarah that I was going into town to meet up with some people that I had met at my birthday party. They seemed surprised, but said it was all right. They even let me drive one of their cars. I was very nervous, but excited too.
Ethan and I had a great time. He took me to a nice restaurant and we talked like we had known each other forever. He was very easy to talk to. I told him about my grandparents and about my best friend Charlie, and of course, about finding out I had been kidnapped and finding my real parents. He told me that he was 17 years old and lived with his father. His mother passed away when he was little. We had the fact that neither of us grew up with a mother, in common. Of course, my mother was alive and well and I was living with her now. But, it was not the same. I really barely knew her and we just had nothing in common. We didn’t have a close relationship at all.
After dinner, we walked around the downtown area. It was full of restaurants, bars, shops, a movie theater, a skating rink, etc. It was a really great place to hang out on a Friday night. There were lots of people walking around with friends and enjoying the nightlife. We ran into a few people that had been at my birthday party. I didn’t remember most of their names, but they re-introduced themselves, and I introduced them to Ethan. Apparently no one knew who he was, because they didn’t seem surprised at all that I was out with the ranch hand’s son. Ethan and I continued talking for hours. It seemed like we would never run out of things to say. It was just so easy talking with him. I don’t know if you can fall in love after just one date, but I think I did.
“You know, it’s starting to get late. I really need to get home. My parents will worry,” I reluctantly told him.
“Yeah, I guess it is. I hope you don’t get into trouble,” He responded. “Would you like to go out again?”
It was important that he didn’t know about Jackson. So I needed to keep him away from the house if I could. So I lied. Great way to start a relationship, I know.
“Well, I need to tell you something,” I started.
“Okay.” He seemed concerned.
“My parents are really weird about me going out on dates. They think I’m too young. I kind of lied to them about tonight. I told them I was meeting some girl friends.”
“I see. So does that mean you can’t go out with me again?” he asked.
“No. We just need to be careful about it. I hope you understand,” I said to him.
“I don’t want to get you into trouble with your parents.”
“Don’t worry about that. We’ll just meet in town. It’s not a problem,” I told him.
“Am I allowed to talk to you at your house?”
“Yes, we can talk. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Chapter 20
After that, we met frequently for movies or shopping. Sometimes we just sat for hours drinking coffee and talking. I hated lying to Jackson, because I really did care for him. But, I was really falling for Ethan. I didn’t know what to do.
Jackson eventually got back to his old self. It was summer by then and I had spent a lot of time with Ethan. By the time Jackson was up and about, Ethan and I were sleeping together. We were in love and I just couldn’t help myself. I cared about Jackson, but I just wasn’t in love with him. I needed to find a way to tell him. Neither of them knew I was seeing the other and all the deception was driving me crazy.
“Madison, want to go for a ride down to the river? I can pack us a lunch?” Jackson asked me one morning.
“I don’t know. I’m kinda busy right now.” It was a bad idea and I knew it. I shouldn’t be alone with him.
“Please. I just want to hang out and talk. I’ve been cooped up there in that bedroom for such a long time. I need to get out and do something fun. We alwa
ys loved riding down to the river and having lunch. Come on, it’ll be fun.” He poked me in the side, which made me squirm, and laugh.
“Okay, okay,” I squealed. I really did need to have that talk with him.
We rode and talked about nothing important really, just chit chat, until we got to the river. Then we ate the really nice lunch Jackson had packed. It was like old times with us. I didn’t want to spoil things by breaking the bad news until after lunch. But, before I had a chance to say anything, Jackson started talking.
“Maddie, I really missed you while I was sick. I know you were there most days, but I was so out of it most of the time that I don’t even remember a lot of it. Then when I started feeling better, it seemed like you were gone a lot. I hardly saw you and we were never alone. But, now we are and I want to tell you that I love you.” It all spilled out at once and I never had a chance to say what I wanted to say. He was looking at me expectantly.
Oh crap, what was I going to do? Did I have the heart to break up with him after his declaration of love? Before I could even come up with an answer, he leaned over and kissed me. It was a passionate kiss and it caught me by surprise. It was obvious to me then that I still had feelings for him, because I didn’t have the willpower to resist him. I wanted to make love to him. It had been a long time since we had and I really missed him. I completely forgot about Ethan’s existence for a short time. Oh my god, I’m a terrible person.
Afterward, I just lay there wondering what in the world I was going to do. I was in love with two guys. Two great guys really. Jackson was happy, I could see that. He started talking about all the things we would be doing together, such as going on real dates, and maybe some trips out of town. He said he wanted to take me on a trip to Hawaii. I had never been and it sounded like so much fun.
I just let him talk about the sun and beaches we would visit. I didn’t have the heart to say anything at that moment. In fact, I didn’t even know what to say. What was I going to do?
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