by A. C. Arthur
“I wasn’t certain at first, but I think you really like seeing this,” he remarked and she giggled like a little girl once more.
“We should walk out this way,” he told her. “Traffic was pretty bad and we were running a little late, but Pierce said we should definitely enter through 5th Avenue to get the full effect, whatever that means.”
“Okay, let’s go then,” she said eagerly, grabbing him by the hand.
They hustled through the crowd, Savian holding tight to her hand and leading the way. One time she tripped and almost fell and he was right there, a hand going around her waist to make sure her footing was solid. Jenise couldn’t help it, she’d gone up on her tiptoes and kissed him loudly on the lips, smiling as she pulled away.
“Look,” she said immediately afterwards. “I can see my breath.”
She opened her mouth slightly and watched the frost circle in the air as if she’d been smoking a cigarette. As a child, she’d gotten such a kick out of doing that on wintery Chicago days. Savian, having been born and raised in Miami, probably didn’t know that joy. He shocked her when he mimicked her motions and they both looked as if they’d been smoking while standing amidst all those people. Jenise was so giddy in that moment, her smile couldn’t have been half as bright as she felt.
After walking around the huge ice skating rink and traveling a bit further, they finally came upon the horn blowing angels.
“Oh my,” Jenise had said, her gaze going from one golden-lit angel to the other. She was in awe of the festive beauty, her heart full from the magic.
“This is pretty amazing,” Savian admitted.
“It’s very amazing,” she whispered, stepping closer to the display and closing her eyes as “Jingle Bells” played through the air.
When Savian came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back against him, she began to hum along with the music. She lifted her hands up to touch his arms, as if to signify that he was real and they were actually here at Rockefeller Center for the tree lighting, as she’d always wanted to be. She shivered again, but this time it wasn’t because she was cold, it was more because at this moment, she was so very happy.
“Let’s get you back to some heat,” he said leaning in close to whisper in her ear.
“Oh no, I don’t want to go back home yet,” she immediately began to protest.
“Not home,” he told her. “Not tonight.”
He’d taken her hand again and walked while he called for the car on his cell phone. They’d only traveled another block or so—which in New York felt like an average of three Miami blocks—before they were once again sliding into the backseat of the limo. Once they were settled, Savian wrapped his arm around her again and she immediately cuddled against him.
If someone had told her on yesterday that this was how she’d be spending her evening, she would have called them a big fat liar! Yet, from the moment she’d stepped onto that jet she’d felt nothing but excitement and cheer, just like a child on Christmas morning. She owed all of that to Savian. After a few moments she wondered if he were as confused by that fact as she was.
The limo came to a stop and Savian stepped out first, extending his hand to her. She happily put her hand in his and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
“Are you serious?” she asked the moment she looked directly in front of them.
“It’s too late for us to go back to Miami tonight. We’d fall asleep on the jet and then have to get off and drive to our respective apartments,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t feel like doing all that. Do you?”
“No,” she immediately replied. “No. Not at all.”
The driver walked behind them with that same black duffle bag that Jenise had watched Pierce take onto the jet and another one that matched. Savian held her hand as they walked through the iron and glass doors of The Chatwal Hotel. They were in the elevator when Savian backed her up to the wall and stood still in front of her.
“Thank you for getting those charges dropped,” he said in that solemn and serious tone of his.
She hadn’t seen or heard this Savian in the hours they’d been together and Jenise worried a little at his appearance now.
“I just did my job, Savian. That’s all,” she told him as he was shaking his head.
“That’s not all,” he said in an almost whisper. “I didn’t know how much I was actually worried about going to jail for a crime I didn’t commit, until it wasn’t a factor anymore. There’s just so much going on right now and I’m not used to being the one in the spotlight. I just didn’t think—”
“You didn’t think you were going to be convicted because you were innocent. There’s nothing wrong with that,” she told him.
“Except that I’m sure there are a number of innocent men and women sitting in jail right at this moment,” he replied. “No. I have to give thanks. I have to be grateful because things could have gone much differently.”
He took a deep breath then and reached a hand up to brush away a curl, that was probably out of place from all that wind blowing outside, from her forehead.
“I like your hair,” he said then, his fingers still touching the short strands. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you all the things I like about you. But I do, I like your hair.”
Jenise couldn’t believe it, this man had seen her naked numerous times. He’d brought her just as many orgasms and had heard her not-too-fantastic singing, and yet those four words had made her blush. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank for those kind words and for all of this. You’ll never know how much they’ve both meant to me.”
The elevator doors opened and Savian led her out and towards what she knew was going to be a suite. However, once they were inside she saw it was so much more. She’d immediately taken off her coat and moved deeper into the room to where there was a winding staircase.
“Where does this lead?” she asked, turning to see Savian removing his jacket.
“Rooftop terrace,” was his response.
“I’m going up,” was her instant reply as she began taking the stairs.
From behind, she could hear him chuckle, then as she turned on the spiral part of the stairs she looked down to see him following her.
It was a large space, the crisp air smacking against her face as she turned in a complete circle to experience it all. Going to the railing she asked, “What street is this? Oh, wait its 44th right? This is a magnificent view.”
He came to stand right beside her at that point, his hands thrust into his pockets. “Yes, it is. I can’t believe you’ve wanted to come here so badly and have never done so until now.”
It felt as if the sky had opened up and dumped a torrential rainstorm on them right at this moment. Jenise’s happy mood almost immediately evaporated. Refusing to let those old memories steal her joy, she tried to shake it off.
“The time just never seemed to be right,” she replied, keeping her focus straight ahead, on the lights on all the buildings and the cars passing on the street below.
“Christmas comes at the same time every year,” he said.
Yes it did, Jenise thought. Just as her memories of the last time she’d been in New York came each time she’d considered returning. Earlier this evening when Pierce had come out of the cockpit and announced they’d arrived safely in New York, she’d felt a few moments of apprehension, but there was nothing she could do about it. It wasn’t as if she could simply stay on the jet and declare she was staying there until Pierce took her back to Miami. No, she’d had to adjust, just as she had back then. That’s how life worked, Jenise knew that.
“From time to time, you’ll be thrown curveballs,” her grandfather had told her when the family found out about the worst mistake of Jenise’s life. “You can either catch that ball and throw it right back, or you can duck and hide like you didn’t see it in the first place. Langleys don’t duck and hide.”
So she hadn’t. Or at least she didn’t think she had. She’d just refused to go
back to New York again. Until now.
“I haven’t been to New York in years,” she said out loud, as if testing how that admission would sound.
She hadn’t been back here since that one awful day almost seven years ago.
“Do you want to tell me why?” he asked casually, as if her response had no bearing on him whatsoever.
She wondered if that were true. Her past was her business, just as Savian’s past was his. Up until now neither of them had inquired about what had happened in their lives before they met. It was one of their unspoken agreements.
Jenise was tired of those unspoken agreements. She wanted to know where she stood with Savian, and if tonight’s events were going to change what they’d originally been. Knowing that she felt this way and admitting now—even if only to herself—that she definitely wanted something more with this man, meant she had to be honest. It was what she would want in return. She was chilly, but she refused to wrap her arms around herself, refused to use that as some type of shield. There was no hiding here, no ducking and running as her grandfather had said.
“During my last year of law school I was involved with one of my professors. I know, that’s cliché, right?” she asked with a little chuckle.
Savian did not respond.
Jenise took a deep breath, expelling it slowly, this time not enjoying the frosty smoke as she had before.
“His name was Wesley Boyer,” she began after clearing her throat. “I adored him and so did my family. My mother was ecstatic when I’d actually mentioned that I could see myself marrying Wes.”
Jenise thought he’d stiffened at her words, but the wind was blowing, so he could have just been cold.
“It was Labor Day weekend when Morgan and I decided to make an impromptu shopping trip before both of us headed back to school. We had so many bags and we’d just come from this great chocolate place. You know, I still cannot remember the name of that place but I remember that I’d just finished a piece of dark chocolate and was still licking my lips and laughing when I saw a cab pull up to the curb and Wes stepped out. At first I was thinking ‘oh my goodness how sweet of him to fly to New York to join me here’ and I was about to say that to Morgan, but then I realized I hadn’t told him I was coming to New York. That’s when I saw Wes holding out a hand. In seconds, a woman had put her hand in his and stepped out of the cab as well.”
Jenise shook her head as the memory moved through her mind like a bad movie on replay.
“I didn’t even realize it but I’d stopped walking and Morgan had to turn back to see what was wrong with me. She called my name but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t hear anything, I could only see. When the woman was on the curb standing right in front of Wes, he pulled her to him and kissed her. I knew before I blinked that it wasn’t a friendly kiss. And before I could think of a wiser course to take, I was walking across the street to approach him. I used to be very impulsive back then,” she stated and then shrugged.
She did not look over to see if Savian was watching her or what his reaction to what she’d said was. She just took another breath and kept going.
“I said, ‘hello, my name is Jenise and I’m the woman that Wes was in bed with last night.’ Morgan had gasped and grabbed my arm in an attempt to pull me away, while Wes rubbed his fingers over his forehead. He always did that when he was worried about something. The woman, I didn’t even know her name then, she went so pale I thought she might faint right there on the street. I let Morgan pull me away then because nobody had said anything in response to my introduction and in those ensuing moments I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. We immediately returned to Chicago and I refused to take any of Wes’s calls after that. It was over. That quickly and that simply.”
“Nothing like that is simple,” Savian said quietly and Jenise smiled at his words.
“You’re absolutely right about that.”
There were a few moments of chilly silence as Jenise gathered her thoughts. This was the hardest part. Sure, Wes had been an ass for cheating and leading her on. He was a conniving bastard for living two lives and she’d been doing a damn good job of upholding her vow to hate him forever for doing all of the above. But this, what happened to the woman had never settled right with Jenise. Even now it caused her pause.
“Her name was Katherine. She’d called me a couple of times but I didn’t know that was her number then and I’d stopped listening to my voicemail messages because I didn’t want it to be Wes still trying to contact me. It was two weeks after New York and I was trying my best to forget and move on. Katherine sent me an email message next. She used my school email account. She wanted to meet with me. I didn’t want to see her so I didn’t respond at first. But then I wanted to feel like I was a bigger person, like I could deal with this like a mature adult. So I agreed to meet her at the apartment that Wes kept in Chicago.”
Wesley Boyer also owned a condo in Manhattan, the one he shared with his wife Katherine Willoughby Boyer.
“When I pulled up to the apartment building that afternoon there were police cars everywhere and an ambulance was just pulling up. I tried to get into the building but the cops would not let me in. I dialed the cell number Katherine had told me was hers, from those calls that I’d ignored. I did not get an answer. And then, because my heart was about to thump right out of my chest, I called Wes. He was distraught when he answered, yelling that Katherine had killed herself, right there in his bed. In the bed that I’d told Katherine I’d shared with him.”
Except for the sounds from the street, there was silence. Jenise wanted at that moment to hear some holiday music. Maybe Alvin and the Chipmunks because their voices always seemed to cheer her up. She wanted to look up toward the sky and see a sprig of mistletoe hanging down so that she could smile and think about the magic once more. She did not want to feel the sting of tears in her eyes, a result of the pain and disgrace that would never totally die within her.
“Katherine committed suicide because her husband of thirteen years had been sleeping with his student for the better part of the last year. I was the other woman and I’d caused this person I didn’t even know so much pain and heartache that she’d felt she had no other recourse but to kill herself. It was the worst moment of my life.”
“It was not your fault,” Savian replied instantly. “It was his responsibility to love and cherish his wife. His duty to be faithful to her. You had nothing to do with that and if you had not started a relationship with him, it would have been another girl. He did what he wanted to do, so the repercussions of that act are on him.”
Jenise chuckled at his words even though she was certain that wasn’t the response he’d expected. Still, she laughed and laughed because she couldn’t remember how many times she’d told herself that very same thing. She also did not want those tears to fall, not again, not this time. It was over and done with and it wasn’t her fault, so why was she even thinking of crying for that young life that had been lost.
She was surprised when Savian turned and reached for her. Ten minutes ago she would have gone instantly into his arms. Now, however, with the memory of Wes and Katherine between them, she couldn’t.
“Look,” she said, trying to regain her composure. “I’m over this. Really, I am. You asked why I wouldn’t come to New York and that’s why. It started here and I felt like coming back would make me relive it all over again.”
“I’m sorry for bringing you here.”
She shook her head quickly. “No. Please, don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry you brought me here tonight, Savian. This was beautiful. The flowers, jet, dinner, and that tree, they were all wonderful. This is what I’ll remember about New York from now on. You’ve given me a whole new memory.”
She didn’t even realize she’d been backing up, not until Savian reached out and caught her before she stumbled toward the door leading to the penthouse. He’d grabbed her arms with such ease and pulled her to him with a gentleness she’d never known he possessed. When he wrapped
his arms around her, holding her head firmly against his chest Jenise whimpered. He smelled so good and felt even better.
“You’re my new memory,” she told him again. “Thank you for being my new memory.”
#
“Come downstairs,” Savian said while holding her in his arms. “I have something else for you.”
She let out a breath and her arms tightened around him as if she were hesitant to let him go. Savian liked that feeling much more than he figured he should have.
“There’s more than what I’ve already seen?” she asked incredulously.
He smiled. “Yes, just a little something else and then you can go to sleep. I’m sure you’re exhausted from working all day and then traveling. I wish they would have had the tree lighting on a Saturday.”
“It stays lit for weeks,” she told him as she finally decided to pull away enough so that they could begin walking towards the door. “We could have come at any time.”
“No,” he said. “I wanted you to see it the first time it was lit this season.”
She looked up at him and smiled. “That was very sweet of you, Savian. I cannot begin to thank you enough.”
“Then don’t,” he said. “We’ve both thanked each other enough. Now it’s time we just move on.”
Her smile had brightened and Savian got the impression those words may have meant more to her than he’d intended. Or had they been right on point? He was trying valiantly to mask the contradicting emotions that had been swirling through him all day. Her admission made that much harder than he’d ever anticipated because now he knew the reason why she hadn’t questioned their arrangement from the beginning. Sure, Savian was used to sleeping with women and not making any other commitments to them, but those women had been nothing like Jenise. As far as he knew they hadn’t come from solid families, or had focused career goals. They weren’t as intelligent and seemingly fearless as Jenise was. And they certainly never appealed to him the way this woman did.