It took me quite a while to build up the courage to broach the subject Sachiel had talked to me about earlier that morning, but as the sun began slowly lowering in the sky, I realized our time without being overheard could be ending at any moment. Surely we had to stop to rest and eat at some point.
“Um, Loukas…” I began and felt him perk up immediately after the long stretch of silence. “I, um, have something to ask you.”
He waited, but when I didn’t continue, he finally prompted, “Yes?”
I cleared my throat, but no amount of effort could get my heart to go back into my chest where it belonged, instead of pounding in my throat. “After what happened last night … when Raidyn and Zuhra had to heal me again…”
“Yes?”
“Sachiel came to tell me an idea she had … a way to heal me. Permanently. So Raidyn and Zuhra don’t have to keep risking their strength.”
There was a long, weighted pause. “And what does her idea have to do with me?”
After what Sachiel had told me, I’d been even more terrified of riding with Loukas. But I didn’t feel any different … surely if he’d wanted to use his power on me, he would have convinced me I loved flying … wouldn’t he?
I swallowed. “I have to steal my power back. The way he stole it from me. But … I don’t know how I’d ever get close enough to him. Especially when the plan is to kill him first.”
He stiffened behind me, and Maddok, perhaps sensing his Rider’s discomfort, made a sharp cawing noise, attracting the attention of some of the other Riders nearby. Raidyn and Zuhra were closest to us, and she looked over with eyebrows lifted. I tried to smile reassuringly at her, but my lips trembled.
“She told you about my ability, I presume.” His voice was cold, all friendliness from earlier gone.
“Yes,” I stammered.
“And you want me to use it to help you.”
It wasn’t a question. But I still repeated, “Yes,” so softly, I didn’t even know if he could hear me. “I don’t know how else I could get close enough to him to try to get my power back.”
“Did Sachiel happen to mention what using my ability does to me? What it requires of me?”
I shook my head.
Instead of telling me, he was silent for several minutes. Though I felt fine at the moment, I knew it was only a matter of time before whatever Raidyn and Zuhra had done would begin to unravel again, the hole within me tearing open once more. If Loukas refused to help me, soon we would track Barloc down and kill him. There would be no chance of getting my power back—of healing myself for good.
“And assuming I did this for you—am I honestly to believe you are willing to do back to him what he did to you? To kill him to regain your power?”
“Kill him?” I repeated.
“You are the only known survivor of such an attack. I doubt Raidyn and Zuhra would be willing to heal him over and over again.”
“But … he didn’t have the power to begin with. He won’t have a hole inside when I take it back.”
“If he survived the change—which it sounds like he did—then his body has changed with it, to accept your power as his own. Tearing it from him will have the same effect as it would on any Paladin.”
I felt suddenly sick again, but this time it had nothing to do with flying. Was I willing to kill him? He was doomed to die either way as soon as we found him. But could I be the one to do it?
He’d stolen my power, had sentenced me to certain death that Raidyn and Zuhra could only hold off for so long … but could I truly do it back? I thought of him crouched over me, the unbearable pain of having my power ripped out of me, leaving me a husk of who I’d always been, of Grandfather’s body lying on the ground, dead, my grandmother injured on the other side of the gateway—all because of him. I thought of the triumphant joy he felt when he’d slaughtered those gryphons, that I’d experienced through the connection I had with him now, that I still hadn’t found the courage to admit to anyone. The connection I was desperate to sever.
My gift had been to heal, but he would use it to kill and kill again and again and again.
“Yes,” I finally answered, fierce and unforgiving. “I am willing to do it. And if you’ll help me, I promise you I will succeed.”
EIGHTEEN
ZUHRA
We flew high above the trees for most of the first day. It was strange being on Naiki’s back with Raidyn in my world, not his—and also surrounded by my family. Up there, the sky within reach, the ground so very far below, the air thin but his arms secure around me, it felt like we were alone … until I looked to the left or right and saw the other gryphons and Riders nearby. My father and mother. Loukas and Inara. Even Sharmaine and Halvor. There was so much to say, so much I wanted to do … but I was paralyzed by the worry of my parents looking over at us, my mouth sealed shut by fear of what the future held.
So I wrapped my arms over his and held on as tightly as he held me, and hours passed in silence, his chest and stomach pressed against my back, his fingers occasionally finding the tiny sliver of skin where my blouse had pulled free of my pants. Those delicious waves of sensation were the closest we got to reliving the kiss from last night.
Once the sun sank below the western horizon, the gryphons soared lower, barely above the treeline, following the river. The shadows changed the water to ink below us, and the trees to spectral sentinels marking our passage. The hot summer day turned cool as darkness stole the heat of the sun, the air above the river crisp and fresh, smelling of pine and damp soil.
“Do you think he means to fly all night?” I turned my head so Raidyn could hear my question without raising my voice too much.
“I hope not,” he said, his mouth brushing my ear, driving all thought from my mind other than his lips and wanting them on mine. His arm tightened around my waist. “Naiki is getting too tired to keep going much longer.” He bent his head forward even more so that his lips were on my cheek.
Heat blossomed in my belly, chasing away the chill of night. Hoping the darkness hid us from view of the others, I tilted my face even farther back so that his mouth touched the corner of mine. He inhaled sharply, his fingers on the bare skin between my blouse and pants digging into my hip. “Yes, she needs to rest,” I murmured, our lips brushing with each word. Achingly close to a kiss and yet so far away from what I truly wanted to do.
“Zuhra.” My name was a raspy groan, deep in his throat, sending a hot shiver of need through me. His hand moved up my body, underneath my blouse, so that his fingers stroked the tender skin of the bottom of my ribcage. I sucked in a gasp at the astonishing feel of his callused fingers.
A sharp whistle ahead jerked me out of the languorous stupor of his touch; it felt like I’d taken some of Sami’s sleeping herbs, making my body heavy and hot and my head fuzzy. Raidyn immediately pulled back, dropping his hand from my skin to grab Naiki’s reins. I straightened as well, facing fully forward again just in time to see Taavi circling lower before landing on a large bank between the river and the forest. I caught the hint of a foul, acrid scent that turned my stomach.
The other gryphons had also landed by Taavi; Raidyn guided Naiki down beside them. The moment we reached the ground, Raidyn climbed off her back and helped me dismount as well.
“What is that smell?” Mother winced, squinting into the darkness.
“Are we stopping for the night?” Halvor asked with a yawn.
“Not here” was all Father said. And then he stalked forward into the forest.
Mother stared at his retreating back; Sharmaine and Loukas looked to Raidyn at my side with eyebrows lifted in twin expressions of confusion.
“Should we follow him?” Halvor asked, walking over to Inara and taking her hand in his. She grasped it tightly, but her eyes were on the trees swaying in the brisk breeze that still carried that horrible stench, her eyes wide. I couldn’t tell if it was the moonlight washing her skin pale, or if she was actually that wan.
“Maybe he just ne
eded to relieve himself?” Loukas said.
Shar smacked his arm with a muttered “Louk!”
“What? We’ve been riding all day and half the night without a break. Surely I’m not the only one who needs to ‘take a walk in the woods’ and maybe find something to eat?”
I snorted back a laugh at the expression on my mother’s face, a comical mix of shock and disbelief, with a hint of a sneer. But he was right; we had been on those gryphons for a very long time.
“Now that you mention it…” Sharmaine grimaced with a hand on her belly that grumbled as if on cue.
Even Inara laughed softly at that one. But the laughter and smiles died as quickly as they came when Father reemerged from the shadowed forest, deep grooves etched around his mouth and between his drawn eyebrows.
“I found them,” he said softly. “It’s as I feared. He burned the bodies.”
* * *
Though we wanted to bury what was left of the remains, we had no tools. Instead, we gathered as many rocks as we could and piled them over what was left of the charred corpses in the small clearing where Father had found them—which was very little for four gryphons and two Paladin. The brief moment of levity was long gone, replaced by the sobering reminder of what we faced. There was a strange feel to the air, as if lightning had recently struck the earth and still left a lingering trace of its might all around us.
“Do you feel that?” I asked Inara as Raidyn, my father, Halvor, and Loukas finished putting the last few rocks on the pile. She’d been even more withdrawn than normal since we’d followed Father back to this spot, a darkness deeper than night cloaked her. What’s wrong? What are you keeping from me? The questions I actually wanted to ask my sister but didn’t dare. A strange wall existed between us now. She was finally lucid, but I’d never felt more disconnected from her.
“That’s cotantem,” Sharmaine answered quietly before Inara could. “It means ‘lingering power.’ A Paladin can feel it anywhere a massive amount of power has been used, sometimes for weeks afterward.”
“If Paladin are the only ones who can sense it, I suppose that’s why I can’t feel anything.” Inara’s voice was as cold as I’d ever heard it.
“No—I didn’t mean—”
But Inara had already walked away, over to where Mother stood with her arms crossed over her chest.
“I’m sorry,” Sharmaine said to me, a blush creeping up her neck. “I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad.”
“I know.” I could still feel Inara’s pain, even from across the clearing. “I think it’s going to take a while for her to come to terms with … what happened to her.”
Sharmaine nodded, her eyes on the pile of rocks. All that was left of what Barloc had done.
Father straightened after setting the final stone on the gravesite and looked around at the somber group.
“Before we go, I’d like to say a few words, to send their souls to the Light for their eternal rest.”
Father spoke for only a few minutes, about the sacrifice they had made, and their worthiness to ascend to a place of peace and rest, but with every word he said, a buzzing of fear spread in the blood that pounded through my body at the growing understanding of what I faced.
Raidyn gripped my hand in his, but even his touch couldn’t warm the chill that had taken hold of me, the realization that this grisly end could be in the very near future for me.
I’d volunteered to do this. I’d known I was risking my life. But seeing that pile of ashes and bones had driven home the reality of what we faced more than any hypothetical scenario ever could have. No matter how hard I tried to control the fear surging through me, I couldn’t keep my heart from racing, like a frightened animal trying to flee a snare.
Raidyn bent forward to press a brief kiss to my temple. “I won’t let him hurt you,” he promised.
I knew his promise, though fervent, was very likely impossible for him to keep. But I nodded regardless, hoping my agreement at least brought him some needed comfort. All it did for me was break my heart a little bit more.
What if by this time tomorrow I was gone—forever?
The trek back to the river was a silent one. The forest pressed in on us, dark leaves shuddered and twisted in the breeze that snarled through the shadowed branches. Inara walked a few feet ahead of me and Raidyn, with Halvor still at her side. I watched the back of her head and the rigid set of her shoulders, and tried to ignore the pang that nipped at the back of my throat, the feeling that she was avoiding me.
When she suddenly halted, her entire body stiffening, I seized Raidyn’s hand and jerked to a stop. Then I let him go and rushed forward.
“Inara?” Halvor stared at her, eyebrows drawn. “What is it?”
She didn’t respond. When I reached my sister’s side, she was staring blankly forward again, unseeing and unresponsive, just as she had been in the garden—when she’d lied and claimed to merely be exhausted.
“What’s going on?” Mother shouldered past Halvor and grabbed Inara’s hand, squeezing it, Father right behind her. “Inara?”
She still didn’t react, her face terrifyingly blank, eyes empty of recognition.
“What’s happening? What is wrong with her? Is she … does she need to be healed again?” Mother looked to me, stricken.
“No,” I said quietly, “this is something else. She did this before. But she wouldn’t tell me what happened.”
Everyone had gathered around us by then.
“This happened before? And you didn’t tell us?” Mother’s eyes narrowed.
Before I could respond, Inara gasped and, blinking a few times, returned to herself, stumbling back a step when she realized everyone was circled around her, watching.
“Inara!” Mother’s focus was thankfully drawn away from me. “What happened?”
Inara’s gaze swiveled from person to person until her eyes met mine and held; she was visibly trembling. “I … I…” Her voice quavered.
Her terror was so thick, it nearly choked me.
“Inara … what happened?” Father’s voice was much more calm, but brooked no argument. She wouldn’t be able to lie this time.
She continued to stare at me. I wasn’t positive, but something like regret flashed across her face. Then Inara turned away.
“I see him,” she admitted at last, her voice a mere whisper, her gaze dropping to the forest floor.
I hardly even noticed anyone else’s reactions, I could only stare at Inara.
“You mean … the jakla?” Father took Inara’s shoulders in his hands, still gentle but insistent. “You see him?”
She swallowed and nodded, her chest rising and falling. “I can’t control it. It just … happens. When he uses my power.” Her shaking increased. “I see flashes of his life, and then a glimpse of where he is when he uses the power.”
Everyone was silent, staring at her. Worry warred with frustration that she had kept this to herself, that she’d been dealing with this alone. Why would she have kept this a secret—especially from me?
“Is that … normal?” Mother asked quietly, looking to Adelric.
“There is no record of such a thing happening before … but no one has ever survived what he did to her before.” He studied Inara, his gaze gentle but concerned. “I know it might be hard, but can you tell us what you saw? Where is he right now?”
Inara still wouldn’t look up. “I saw him with the Paladin again—his grandfather. And traveling here. And … and I saw him…” A shudder passed through her. She choked on the last few words; a tear slid down her cheek, nearly iridescent in the pale moonlight that had broken through the clouds overhead. “I saw him attack a home … with a family in it.”
A ripple of shock ran through all of us, a shiver that started with Inara and spread out to all seven of us gathered around her. Father’s eyes shut, his head dropping. My heart plummeted.
We were too late. He was already attacking humans.
“We have to keep going. He can’t be too
much farther ahead of us now,” Father said grimly, releasing Inara and turning to us. “But we need to rest before we try to track him down and lay this trap. There is nothing we can do for that family now and the gryphons are exhausted. I say we fly a little bit farther away from here and find a spot to sleep for a few hours before we continue on.”
No one argued with him. We were a morose group as we finished the brief trek to the river. I kept glancing at Inara, but she stared resolutely forward, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. She even shied away from Halvor when he reached for her; he let his hand drop back to his side, his shoulders slumping. A few tense minutes later, we’d all climbed back on the weary gryphons and taken off once more.
“We’ll stop soon, girl,” Raidyn murmured to Naiki before he swung onto the saddle behind me.
She hooted softly, as if she understood.
Raidyn held me tightly as we took off; I leaned back into the strength and comfort of his embrace and tried to focus on breathing slowly—in and out. In and out. I tried not to think about my sister seeing visions of Barloc … or the family he’d surely murdered. Why? What possible purpose could he have—
No. Don’t think. Just breathe. In and out.
I tried not to think about the trap we had to lure him into—now more than ever. Or the pile of bones and ashes we’d buried, all that remained of the last group of Paladin and gryphon that had hoped to trap and stop him.
I tilted my chin up into the night-kissed wind, letting it whip the gathering tears out of my eyes before they could fall. Raidyn buried his face in my hair, pulling me as close to him as I could be. He didn’t speak. There was nothing to say.
Thankfully, we didn’t fly much farther before Father again guided Taavi back to the earth, this time to a small clearing a little way back from the river. We all followed, everyone quickly dismounting.
“We can sleep here for a few hours. Inara … if you have another … if you see him again, will you promise to tell us?”
Warriors of Wing and Flame Page 13