by Deb Stover
A yearning need for her own family spread through Sofie as she watched the loving, casual manner the pair had with each other. Jealous, Sofie? Yes, without a doubt. She ached to find her own mother and brother, and even if she couldn't be with them physically–after all, she didn't even know if they were living–she at least wanted the memories.
She could just imagine what her mother–what any mother–would think of her daughter falling in love with a priest. Though her concerns seemed more like a teenager's than a doctor's, Sofie couldn't shake the need for her mystery mother's approval. Maybe not knowing her true age augmented this need. In many ways, she was like a newborn discovering the world for the first time.
Taking her coffee and philosophy to the table, she sat across from Shane, accepting the plate of biscuits and honey Jenny pushed toward her. Though she wasn't really hungry, she was eager to recover and get on with her life; maintaining her physical stamina was part of that.
"Jenny's been telling me about you not being able to remember anything. I'm sorry about your troubles, ma'am," Shane said with genuine sincerity, lifting his coffee cup to his lips.
"Yes, an explosion caused it." Sofie nibbled on a biscuit, wondering how soon she could get to Denver. What if Luke refused to take her there? But he wouldn't. Somehow, she knew he'd do anything she asked of him.
Anything? Biscuit caught in her throat and she washed it down with scalding coffee. She reached for the cream pitcher and poured some into her cup, watching the caramel-colored swirls. "I'm going to see a specialist in Denver. Dr. Wilson thinks he can help me regain my memory." She took another bite of biscuit.
"Oh, good." Jenny ate scrambled eggs and biscuits with honey, her appetite much improved since the danger from her evil uncle had passed. "I'm glad you'll get to remember being little again."
"And I have you to thank for convincing me." Sofie sipped her coffee. "Ah, that's much better." She forced a smile, determined to remain positive and upbeat today. Soon, she would leave this town and these people she'd grown to care for, and she wanted to take happy memories along.
Her vague knowledge of the world she'd once known intruded again. Travel. She remembered flying and cars and...
"Do you–either of you–know where the nearest airport is?"
Jenny and Shane exchanged looks, then he cleared his throat. "Ma'am, I ain't ever even heard of such a place. Do they make air there?"
"Uh..." Sofie's face flashed with heat and she shook her head. "Never mind. Not important."
"Whatever you say, ma'am." Shane looked at Jenny again.
They must think I'm nuts. Then again, maybe she was. Why did she remember airports and planes so clearly if they didn't exist? I hate this.
"Me and Jenny been talking a lot about this," Shane said, seeming older this morning than Sofie'd originally thought. "And we've decided to go home to Texas."
"Shane wants to be a Texas Ranger," Jenny said, and her brother blushed.
"Really?" Sofie truly believed Shane Latimer could be anything he wanted, including a Denver Bronco. "What about college?"
"Pshaw." Shane chuckled and reddened even more. "No Latimer ever made it to college, ma'am."
Sofie set her half-empty cup on the table and folded her hands in front of her. "Why not be the first?"
"Well..."
"I believe I heard your uncle saying something about your father's mine being of some value?" Sofie hated to bring up either man's name again, but if money was an issue, it needed to be discussed. "Why not sell the claim, settle Jenny with her grandmother, and go to college? You can become a Texas Ranger after college."
Jenny's grin was infectious, and Sofie returned it with a wink. "I think you fixed him good, Miss Sofie," the child said. "Now he doesn't got an excuse."
"Jenny Latimer, I swear..." Shane folded his muscular arms across his abdomen and leaned back in the chair. After a moment, his eyes softened. "Ma always talked about me going to college one day."
"Yes, she did." Jenny gave a wistful sigh and took a half-hearted sip of milk. "If you go, I'll go."
"Girls don't go to college, half-pint." Shane appeared openly shocked, then looked at Sofie as if expecting support. "Well, most girls don't." His face reddened again.
"You do that very well, Shane," Sofie teased.
"What?"
"Blush."
Jenny laughed with such little girl glee, Sofie couldn't help but join her. Her shoulder ached and she held her hand over the wound until her laughter subsided.
"Miss Sofie went to college, silly Shane." Jenny wrinkled her nose at her brother. "She's a doctor."
"A doctor?" Shane grew solemn. "Well, I never met a lady doctor before. That's really something."
"She helped take care of me while I was sick." Jenny's lower lip trembled. "After Mama died."
"I owe you a lot more than I realized, ma'am," Shane said, reaching across the table to take his sister's hand. "Thank you again."
"Jenny's very special," And Sofie meant every word, though she still yearned for her own family. If they were out there somewhere, she'd find them.
Jenny suddenly brightened. "I know. You can come with us to Texas."
"No, I couldn't." Sofie brushed crumbs from her loose bodice and pushed her plate away. "Really."
"But we need doctors in Texas, too," Jenny argued, looking toward her brother.
"Ma'am, you're welcome to come home with us," Shane said, sincerity unmistakable in his tone and expression. "Grandma would like to meet you, and you could stay with us as long as you want."
Surprise rippled through Sofie. So, the woman without a past suddenly had options. She could stay here in Redemption, she could go to Denver and see the specialist, or she could go to Texas with the Latimers.
Somehow, she sensed she'd find her answers here in Colorado. After all, she'd been here at the time of the explosions, so it made sense for her to begin her search here, too.
"Thank you for the invitation, but I really have to see that doctor in Denver."
"Could we go with her, Shane?" Jenny begged, looking at her brother. "Then take her back with us to Texas from there? Could we?"
"I'm afraid not, Jenny." Shane shook his head sadly. "Marshal Weathers has offered to take us the whole way, but we gotta go when he says. I could probably find the way myself, but why risk it if we don't have to?"
"Oh."
"Shane's right." Sofie leaned forward. "You have to go with Marshal Weathers, and I have to go find my memories of being a little girl. Remember? You said so."
The girl sighed and nodded. "Yes, I remember." She blinked as she met Sofie's gaze. "Maybe after you find your memory, you can bring your mama with you to Texas."
"Maybe." Sofie wasn't burning any bridges. Options were good. "You give me an address where I can write to you, and I'll let you know as soon as I know."
"All right." Jenny rose and carried dishes to the sideboard.
"When is Marshal Weathers planning to leave?" Sofie asked Shane.
"Tomorrow morning at first light." Shane buried his hand in his shoulder-length hair. "Reckon I'd better visit the barber first."
Sofie nodded, thinking it a shame to cut off such beautiful golden hair. "I suppose he wants to go before we get any more snow."
"There's only one pass down that I know of," Shane said. "It'll be blocked 'til spring after one really big snow. It's late already."
A shiver skittered along Sofie's spine. Though spending the winter in Redemption wasn't a distasteful idea, the thought of postponing the quest for her memory was. She simply couldn't bear it. Nor would she.
"I guess I'd better make arrangements to get to Denver soon."
"Yes'm." Shane nodded and rose. "And I already got an offer for Pa's mining claim from Miss Lottie, so I'd best go settle that this morning."
"Miss Lottie?" Jenny's eyes grew round, as did her mouth.
"Yes, Miss Lottie." Shane scowled at his sister. "She wants the mine and she's got the money for it. That's all t
here is to it."
The child shrugged, obviously ready to drop the subject. "We really have to go tomorrow?" Jenny walked back to stand beside her brother. "Couldn't we wait and leave when Miss Sofie goes?"
Shane shook his head. "I can't turn down the marshal's offer to take us home, Jenny. You know that. And I'm not about to ask him to wait." He patted her hand on his shoulder. "If it was just me, I wouldn't worry about going alone, but Grandma'll skin me if I risk it with you."
"I suppose you're right." Jenny looked at Sofie, her large brown eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I'll miss you, Miss Sofie."
Realizing she might never see Jenny and Shane again, Sofie nodded and stood as Jenny ran to her. She hugged the child, vaguely aware of the back door opening.
"How will you get to Denver?" Jenny asked, looking up at her.
"With me."
Sofie lifted her gaze from the top of Jenny's head to the man filling the back door. So Luke still planned to take her to Denver. Relief and terror swept through her simultaneously.
Alone in the mountains with Luke?
A tremor raced through her as she met his intense gaze. It stole her breath and made her heart swell with longing.
"Yes," she said quietly. "Luke–Father Salazar will take me to Denver."
"Well, I'm going to see Miss Lottie now." Blushing again, Shane left the house as Luke stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
Sofie couldn't stop staring at the man she loved and feared more than any other. He had so much power over her right now. That vulnerability frightened her, though she trusted him with her life.
But could she trust him with her heart?
His expression reminded her of their first night in this house, when he'd awakened her from an exquisitely erotic dream. What had he said? His words returned to haunt and tantalize.
"I'm a man, Sofie," he'd whispered. "You're a woman and I'm a man."
A man of God, she reminded herself, swallowing hard.
But still a man.
αβ
"I thought you were supposed to stay in bed today," Luke said, struggling to recover from the jolt of love and desire that ambushed him every time he saw Sofie. And often when she wasn't even around.
"I feel fine." She smiled at Jenny as the girl returned to the task of clearing the table. "Really."
"Roman will be by in a few minutes to check on you." Luke walked slowly toward her, wishing he could take her in his arms and carry her back to bed. Of course, his motives were questionable, though he did have her well being in mind. Among other things...
She gripped the back of the chair and her face paled. Luke was at her side in less than a second. "Are you all right?"
"Just a little...dizzy. Weak from being in bed too long." She drew a deep breath and her cheeks pinkened again. She gave him a watery smile. "There, I feel better now, but maybe I'll go sit in the parlor until Dr. Wilson gets here."
Luke reached out and scooped her off her feet, earning a giggle from Jenny and a gasp from Sofie. "Fine, we'll get you settled in the parlor right now." He ignored the flash of anger in her beautiful blue eyes. God, she was gorgeous. "Jenny, hold the door for me, please?"
Still giggling, the child obeyed, then returned to the kitchen and her chores. "It's a good thing one of us likes housework," Luke muttered, carrying Sofie to the settee, davenport, or whatever the hell they'd decided to call it. Still looked like a love seat to him.
Of course, that term gave him even more ideas, and that was dangerous territory.
He put her down in a reclining position, but she pushed herself upright the moment he released her. "Sofie, Sofie, Sofie." Sighing, he went to the hearth and poked at the dying embers, placing another log on the hot coals. Within a matter of seconds, it flared to life and the fire's warmth drove away the autumn chill.
"Shane said you went to see Mr. Smith." Sofie smoothed her skirt and met his gaze as he sat on the ottoman in front of her. "How is he doing?"
Luke didn't want to go there. That guy gave him the creeps. "He was asleep, but Roman asked me to come back later." He shrugged. "Last night the guy wrote the word 'priest' on the slate. Guess I'm the only one in town."
"Maybe he'll be able to tell you his name."
"Roman said he wrote another word besides 'priest' but he couldn't make it out." Luke drew a deep breath and leaned slightly forward. "You're determined to go to Denver then?" He had to talk her out of seeing the specialist before they reached Denver. Maybe when he proposed to her she'd forget about regaining her memory. He hoped.
"Of course," she said quietly.
How could he really expect her to abandon hope of regaining her memory forever? Simple, he couldn't. However, he might be able to distract her for a while.
Actually, distracting Sofie held a great deal of appeal. He shifted his position, but it didn't help much. In his condition, he should've remembered how uncomfortable sitting astride anything could be.
Making himself as comfortable as possible, Luke searched her expression, knowing as he did that she loved him, too. Somehow, he'd make this work. He had to. Thank God she wasn't the kind of woman who could hide her feelings, because knowing how she felt helped him remain focused.
She jerked her gaze from his and said, "I'm very anxious to see the specialist." Tugging at the cuff of her sleeve, she looked up to meet his gaze again. "Luke, this is very important to me."
"I understand," he said, and that was the truth. He did understand her need to regain her memory, though he didn't have to like it. With any luck, she'd be married to him before then, though even that didn't guarantee her acceptance of his duplicity. He swallowed hard.
Married. The thought of living with and loving Sofie for the rest of his life brought him more pleasure than he ever could have imagined.
Yes, marriage.
All he had to do was forsake his fictitious priesthood–a sacrifice he couldn't wait to make–and convince Sofie to take the plunge. She had to agree.
"All right, then," he said, rubbing the tendons at the back of his neck. "When Roman gives the okay, we'll leave for Denver."
"Do you...know the way?" She shrugged and gave a nervous laugh. "I have no idea."
Well, if Luke could find Highway 24 and Interstate 25, he could make it to Denver in no time. "We'll get directions." He grinned.
"Will we have to ride horses?" she asked. "I'm not sure I know how."
Luke hadn't thought of that. "Yeah, I suppose we will. I'll use some of the gold the town gave me to buy horses and supplies." He chuckled. "I can ride a little, but it's been a long time. I'll have to learn all over again."
"Fast." Sofie smiled and the worry lines in her brow eased and smoothed. "I know we have to beat the big snows."
"Yeah, and it's already October." Luke didn't want her to see his worry. He'd lived his entire life in Colorado, and he knew the heavy winter snows could begin any day. If they commenced before their departure, they'd have to wait until spring.
And if they commenced while he and Sofie were traveling...
Staying put was the safe thing to do, but Luke couldn't wait that long, and it was obvious Sofie didn't want to either. They had to leave soon.
"I asked Shane and Jenny about airports...." Her brow wrinkled and her obvious confusion tugged at Luke's conscience.
"I...I have a lot of things to tell you, Sofie," he said quietly, holding her gaze with his. "But they have to wait until after we leave here. Trust me."
She nodded, but didn't look away. "All right."
She trusts me. Guilt threatened his resolve, but Luke banished it. For now. If only he could permanently exorcise the demons that haunted him, especially guilt.
Once he'd shed his masquerade, Luke vowed to sort through his feelings about his grandparents and his wrongful conviction and near-execution. Suppressing all that stuff wasn't healthy–he knew that. And he wanted to be the best husband he possibly could. That meant having his head screwed on straight.
"Good." He
reached out and took her hand, cherishing the petal-like softness of her skin. He wanted her desperately, but he loved her even more than he wanted her.
Miracle of miracles.
He smiled just as someone knocked at the front door. "That'll be Roman." After giving her hand another squeeze, he rose and went to answer the door.
Very soon he'd be able to touch her all over, to kiss her and love her as she deserved to be loved. His heart slammed against his ribs and the renewed tug of desire in his groin nearly drove him to his knees.
Yes, soon.
He opened the door and Roman stepped inside. "Sofie wouldn't stay in bed," Luke explained, closing the door. "She's in the parlor."
Roman sighed as he sat on the settee beside her and placed his black bag on the ottoman. "Sofie, I thought I told you to stay in bed another day."
"You did, but I felt like moving around."
"I never met a soldier or miner who was as stubborn as most of the women I've treated over the years." He asked her a few questions, then said, "I need to check your wound and change the dressing. Would you prefer to do that here or upstairs?"
The implication was clear. Luke could take a hint. "You stay here, and I'll go to the kitchen." He took a few steps, then stopped. "Oh, before I forget, I need to know how soon Sofie will be able to travel."
"She's young and heals fast. If she keeps healing even while disobeying doctor's orders, I'd say any day, if you take it easy." Roman looked up and sighed. "By the way, can you come back to see Smith again this afternoon?"
"Sure." Luke couldn't prevent the tremor of apprehension that raced down his spine. Smith's scars weren't what made him uncomfortable. It was the man's eyes. They gave Luke the creeps. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."
"Thank you." Sofie averted her gaze when he looked at her.
Somehow, he had to make this work. His new life would be meaningless without Sofie.
Free or not.
"Smith wrote another word for Anna while I was checking on Sofie," Roman explained, leading Luke through the front door of his small house shortly after noon. Inside, the physician paused and ran his fingers through his white hair. His expression grew pensive. "My job is to serve and to heal, Luke."