The world was messed up. What kind of a universe would take his innocent wife and baby girl? What kind of an idiot was he to put himself in a career where he came face to face with similar situations? Was that what Virginia had been screaming as her car plummeted off the cliff, Help my baby?
Virginia’s voice rang through his head over and over again. Help my baby, help my baby. Stone scrubbed a gloved hand over his face but couldn’t get rid of the voice in his head or the image of Virginia in the coffin, her belly distended in the lacy white dress that was fancier than the dress she’d worn at their rushed Vegas wedding. Sadly, the coffin was how he always pictured her.
He was still in the same position when Nikola came back to start picking up their equipment. How long had it been? Nikola stopped in front of Stone and stared questioningly at him. “You all right?”
Stone swallowed and shook his head. He opened his mouth but then clamped it shut. Finally, he said, “Fine.” He stomped by Nikola.
The sky was lightening behind them, and their shift would be over at seven. If he could just make it back to the station and through debriefing, he could disappear to his cabin for four days. With any luck, the storm that was forecasted would snow him in and nobody could find him. Not that anybody but Abi would try. Abi. He was supposed to meet Abi for something. Skiing? Hiking? It was too hazy through the roar in his head for him to remember details. He wished he could see her, hold her to forget the pain, but that would never happen. It was better to stay away from everyone when he got like this, especially from Abi. She was the only one who could truly pull emotion out of him. It wasn’t just that he hated revealing how weak he was, he couldn’t risk sharing the secret Virginia had placed upon him and then taken to her grave.
He pushed out a breath. He would send Abi a text and cancel. Abi would forgive him. She always did.
Chapter Four
Abi was elated to go snowshoeing with Stone on Tuesday morning. It had been a long weekend keeping all the different convention-goers happy. She loved being around people, and most were pretty reasonable and content, but there was always something that needed doing—the coffee maker was broken; there weren’t enough pens or pads of scratch paper; there was an issue with the overhead projector; or the room was too hot or too cold. She was the master of little details and of making sure that every conference attendee, organizer, speaker, whoever was involved was pleased.
She did a great job, and she did it with a smile on her face, but she could hardly wait to spend the day outside with Stone. He knew her so well, and she could be her crazy, funny, loud self around him. Not at all the professional persona she pasted on for the rest of the week. She worked Thursday through Sunday or Monday, depending on when conventions and seminars were scheduled at Deer Valley.
Pulling her Cherokee into the parking lot at the base of Empire Pass, she jumped out and searched for Stone. She was usually the late one. She stretched her arms out wide as if to embrace the crisp morning and smiled at the stretch of blue sky. The sun was shining, which always made her happy. Yet there were dark clouds resting on the mountain, and living in Utah, she’d learned a storm could always come up. They’d better get moving to beat the next snow dump.
Her phone beeped, signaling a text. Stone. She smiled. Until she opened it up.
No sleep last night. Rain check?
No! This was their time. He couldn’t back out. She typed quickly. You’re a machine. You don’t need sleep. There are no rain checks on quality time with your favorite person.
She waited, but there were no little dots showing he was typing. Pacing around her red Cherokee, she held her phone up and waited and waited for an impossibly long time, maybe twenty seconds. Then she pushed the button to call him.
“Abi, don’t do this” was what he led with, his deep voice almost gravelly.
“Don’t do this? Are you still talking to me? You’re the one standing me up, my friend.” She tried to keep her voice light. The lack of sleep was an excuse. She’d seen him run a half marathon, demolishing her finishing time, after coming off an all-night shift. Something had happened. Something had flipped him. He was thinking about Virginia, probably about the baby too. She couldn’t just let him wallow in pain all by himself. She understood how hard it must be for him, but that’s why she’d never given up on him. Well, one of the reasons.
He pushed out a long breath. “I’m sorry. Maybe on my next break.”
“You want me to wait six days before we hang out?”
She gave him the opportunity to say he wanted to be with her, but he said nothing.
“You don’t just ditch me for no reason.”
“Abi, please.”
“Come on. We’ll go snowshoeing. Then I’ll let you take me to Pineapple’s and buy me fried pickles. I’ll beat you at bocce this time, my friend. Maybe we’ll see your buddy Nikola, and I can flirt with him. He’s pretty cute, and you know I’m a sucker for a good accent.”
“I’m sorry.” And he hung up on her.
“Sto—” She pulled her phone away and stared at it. No. This wasn’t happening with him today. She’d seen him shut the world out and just hunker down too many times. She hated it. He didn’t need to be alone and miserable, and she wasn’t going to allow him to just hang up on his best friend. She didn’t care that he supposedly had ice in his veins.
She dialed his number again. It rang and rang before going to voice mail. Then she got mad. She’d learned over the years how to control her passion, and it was becoming more infrequent that something brought the rage to where she could hardly see straight, but the injustices in the world and Stone going through so much pain was really upsetting her. To think she couldn’t help him about killed her. He needed her to get him out of this funk. He needed to experience life, with her, and he’d just ditched her and hung up on her? Nope. Not happening.
She leapt into her Cherokee, started it, and roared out of the parking lot. Stone wouldn’t be at his condo. He hated that place and was remodeling a house in Midway near her gram so he could sell the condo in downtown Park City that had been Virginia’s choice. As cold and detached as he’d sounded, she didn’t think he’d be working on his house, which was usually great therapy for him at times like this. She’d bet anything he was at his family’s cabin. It was only a couple miles up Pine Canyon Drive. The road wasn’t plowed in the winter, but her Cherokee would be fine getting up it. If only she could guarantee Stone would be fine once she found him. She was going to get him to open up to her if it killed them both.
Chapter Five
Stone usually came to the cabin and worked, fixing something, chopping wood, cleaning, whatever, but today, he’d gotten here a little after nine in the morning, started a fire, and just shut down. He sat in a La-Z-Boy staring at the flames, wondering how his life had gone so wrong and knowing there was no fix for it. Nikola loved to tease him that he had ice in his veins. He wished he was as unfeeling as his buddies assumed he was. If it were true, all the guilt, anger, and regret wouldn’t affect him. If he had ice in his veins, he’d tell Abi Virginia’s secret and finally hold the woman he’d always wanted in his arms.
His stomach grumbled. He hadn’t eaten since last night, but it didn’t really bother him. He let himself think about the baby. What she would’ve looked like if she had lived. Stone always imagined her exactly like Virginia—blonde, blue eyes, perfect facial features. Stone wanted that baby like he’d never wanted anything in his life. Yet he should never have stepped up like he was some hero and tried to solve all of Virginia’s problems. A rushed marriage at eighteen to help a friend was probably the stupidest decision of his life, but he’d thought he was saving Virginia and the baby. He’d quickly fallen in love with the idea of being a father, but being a husband had been much more difficult.
He and Virginia had decided to name the baby girl Abigail, in honor of their best friend. Stone used to worry that it would be hard for him to separate his love for the baby and Abi. But he’d made the choice to s
tep up to take his friend Jace’s place as baby Abi’s father and Virginia’s husband. Once he’d committed, he’d been fully devoted to them, their future, and that little girl’s future. Not that any of his commitments or good intentions mattered now. He passed a hand over his face, grabbed the poker and stirred the ashes.
The door to his cabin burst open, and a rush of cold air came in with a rush of beautiful woman. Stone stood, but didn’t move toward her. “Abi.”
It didn’t matter that he didn’t move. She could move plenty for the two of them. She slammed the door shut and stormed up to him, grabbing both his arms in her slim fingers and trying to shake him. Of course, it didn’t budge him, but it almost made him smile.
“You don’t have the right to stand me up, do you hear me?”
“Oh, Abi.” She was fire and ice, this girl. If only he could take some of that in and feel—her warmth, her passion for life. But a stone wasn’t affected by fire or ice unless it cracked, and Stone wasn’t about to crack because he was terrified of what would leak out then.
He let her try to shake him for a little longer. Then he easily broke from her grip and went back to his chair. “I wasn’t trying to ditch you. I’m sorry I made you mad. It’s just …” Staring into the flames, he wondered if he could do this. Was it possible to admit to her, though not even the guys at the station really knew it, how messed up that call had been and the havoc it had wreaked on him. He kept his eyes on the fire as he forced out the words. “We had a bad call.” Please let her leave it at that. He looked at her beautiful face, splotchy with anger. Her dark eyes shot sparks at him. Wishful thinking.
She came and knelt in front of him, not touching him, but he could smell her appealing, cinnamon-vanilla scent. He could swear he felt the heat from her body. Oh man, this woman had power over him. How had he stayed strong for the past seven years? He didn’t know that he could keep it up, but it was his fault Virginia and the baby were gone. The one thing he could do was keep the secret Virginia had begged him to never share.
“Are we friends, Stone?”
He straightened. “Yeah.” He couldn’t let himself feel those feelings, but Abi was still his best friend. They’d been a foursome of best friends since grade school—Abi, Virginia, Jace, and Stone. Jace had ditched them all, going into the military weeks after graduation and leaving Virginia pregnant and mourning him. She’d asked Stone to marry her, and they’d run to Vegas within a couple of weeks so everyone would believe the baby was Stone’s. Then Virginia had died six months later, and now, it was just him and Abi. He couldn’t survive without her friendship.
“Then you talk to me when something bad happens.” Abi implored him. “You don’t ditch me.”
He actually smiled then, pushing all the other crap away so he could tease her a little bit and hopefully bring back that beautiful smile. “Abi, you and I both know … I don’t talk.” Sadly, it was the truth. There was so much he should talk to Abi about, but he’d promised Virginia to hold on to their secrets. He’d been tempted many a time to break Virginia’s trust, but he couldn’t do it, not when she’d died because she’d been so angry with his coldness.
The truth would only make Abi livid anyway. If he knew his best friend at all, she’d hear the sordid details, be peeved at him for not sharing, then go hunt Jace down and try to beat him up or at least cuss him good. If Stone ever saw Jace again, he wouldn’t waste time with words. Yet he was much more concerned about what Abi would think of Stone if she knew the truth. Would she think he was honorable to try to take care of Virginia and her baby or stupid to rush into a situation like some hero who didn’t know how to be a husband, how to love and care for anyone when he was so young and full of himself?
She waited, and Stone debated telling her more, at least about the call, but it was too close to the truth, to his own pain. What if he talked and other things started rolling off his tongue, things that could hurt Abi? Stone clenched his jaw.
It must have become apparent that he wasn’t going to talk because she finally stood, brushing off her legs. His eyes swept over her form-fitting snow pants and long-sleeved neoprene shirt. Her dark hair with the golden highlights was secured back in a ponytail. Her smooth skin seemed to glisten, and her dark eyes were full of passion and light. She looked amazing.
“You’re right.” She admitted. “Fine. We’re shallow shells of a friendship who never ‘talk,’ but I’m not letting you wallow in front of your cozy little fire all day. Get your gear on and grab your snowshoes.”
“Abi.” It came out close to begging, and he didn’t like that, but how else to dissuade her? “I’m exhausted. We were up all night.”
“Then you should’ve taken a nap. It’s almost lunchtime. Get your butt up now and get your gear on.”
“If you have any compassion …” Stone was truly begging now. Couldn’t she just let him wallow?
“Well, I don’t. I planned on going snowshoeing, and we are going snowshoeing. Buck up, little buttercup.”
Stone just stared at her. Abi wasn’t heartless. That was his role. He knew she was forcing him to get out because she thought it would help him. She was probably right, but that didn’t make it easier.
She whirled on her heel and harrumphed. “I’ll get your backpack ready with snacks and drinks.” She strode into the kitchen and started banging open cupboards.
Stone almost laughed out loud. Who but Abi could boss him around? His parents were great, but they were retired and lived in Arizona during the wintertime. His sister and her husband were in Kentucky attending dental school and studying physical therapy. He guessed Blue bossed him around, but he followed him out of respect. He followed Abi out of respect and something completely different and much dearer to his heart. If only she knew. He shook his head. She would run the other direction if she had any clue how long and how desperately he’d loved her. She was his friend, and that had to be enough. He didn’t dare take it to the next level. If only he wasn’t so crappy at loving someone.
Standing, he slowly walked toward his bedroom. Abi whirled to give him an imperious glare until he was out of view.
“Thinks he can stand me up.” He heard her mutter. “His best friend for twenty stinking years.”
Stone let himself laugh, and it felt amazing. Almost as amazing as Abi grabbing onto his forearms earlier, but he wasn’t going to go there. She was his best friend, and she didn’t need to be tied to someone with issues like his.
Abi’s anger died as she filled up reusable water bottles then packed Stone’s emergency kit. Why did he have to be so morose all the time? It wore on her. Even though she acted tough to try to pull him out of the pain, she wanted to cry for him. She knew he had loved Virginia and had been excited about their baby girl, but they’d been straight out of high school and married less than six months when she’d been killed, and it had been almost seven years ago. Would he ever be able to move on? It was like he blamed himself when he had nothing to do with Virginia sliding off a mountainside in a snowstorm. What? Had he forgotten to put on the snow tires? Dang him, this too serious of a man who thought he could protect the whole world from tragedy. His sadness that most people just saw as coldness shredded her inside and made her want to just sit and hold him. Sadly, he would never let that happen.
She exhaled and carried the backpack to the table. Stone walked out of his bedroom dressed in a long-sleeved fitted gray shirt and black snow pants, carrying his coat, gloves, and hat. He never wore goggles. The shirt molded to his sculpted upper body reminded her how much she loved his shape. She loved most things about him, except for his coldness. Someday, somehow, she would break through. Heaviness weighed on her heart. Would she? How long was she going to wait? She went on dates every weekend, but how could anyone compare to someone she’d loved, trusted, and been friends with her entire life? You didn’t develop a friendship like theirs quickly.
Stone smiled at her. It didn’t reach his eyes, but she knew it was an effort for him, and she appreciated it. His b
luish-gray eyes gleamed like steel. “Thanks for never giving up on me, Abi.”
She arched her eyebrows, praying he couldn’t read her thoughts. “Someday, I’m going to just leave you wallowing and go chase after Nikola.”
The smile was replaced by a frown that furrowed his brow. “Not Nikola.”
“Who then?” She stared him down. “Jeremy?”
“Stop it. You’re not funny.”
She flipped her ponytail and started for the door. “I think I’m hilarious.”
Stone grunted behind her. “I’m sure you do.”
Abi walked out into the brightness of the winter sun sparkling off piles of snow, brushing off Stone’s comments. Would he ever step up and claim her for his own? Probably not in this lifetime. But she could still tease him. She grabbed her coat, gloves, hat, goggles, and backpack out of her Cherokee and got geared up before retrieving her snowshoes and poles from the back.
Stone walked up in his snowshoes, all ready to go. He never used poles. He swept his arm out in front of him. “Lead the way.”
“I always do.” She flipped her ponytail, closed the back of the Cherokee, tugged her goggles and gloves into place, and started off up the road.
Stone was laughing behind her. She was still mad at him, but it did her heart good to hear him laugh.
Chapter Six
Abi pushed herself and set a good pace going up the snow-covered road if she did say so herself. Of course, Stone wouldn’t say as much, so she had to compliment herself whenever possible. She found a trail veering deeper into the mountains and took off in that direction. Stone followed without complaint or concern. He wasn’t even breathing hard. She should’ve stopped for a drink, but she had something to prove to Stone, or maybe she was just upset with him or with herself or with Jace or Virginia. She wasn’t really sure, but it was all coming to the surface today. Going faster seemed to bring up more emotion instead of burning it up and cleansing like exercise could usually do. Why did Jace have to be a class-one a-hole? Why did Stone have to be such a protector and take everything so hard? Why did Virginia and the baby have to die? Abi had no answers, and of course, she couldn’t talk to Stone about it. He didn’t “talk.”
Stone Cold Sparks Page 2