Taking Risk Series

by Toni Aleo

  She rolls her eyes as she turns. “So much like your da, and for all that is good and holy, will you make sure she wears white!”

  And then she is gone. I’m glad too because I was about to be even more of an arse if she wasn’t. God, they drive me up the wall, and I wonder why I was glad to see them. Getting back to work, my mind is clouded with thoughts of Amberlyn. I wonder when a good time would be to ask her about Casey. I hope that, like Fiona implied, things will go south quickly so I can swoop in and show Amberlyn what a man really is. I still worry about her being with him, dating him, but I feel like Fiona has it under control. I want to question her decision to allow her cousin to date a rapist piece of shite, but that is her business, not mine. But the moment he does something wrong to her, it will be my fucking business.

  Fuckin’ tool.

  When the door opens, I look up to see Kane coming toward me with my bottle of whiskey and two cups. I glance at the clock. It’s nowhere near time for us to be done, and while I’m not one to oppose drinking during work hours, I still have a lot to do.

  “Trouble in paradise?” I ask since his face is long too.

  He doesn’t answer as he falls in the seat in front of me, pouring us both a shot of whiskey before raising his glass up. I meet his in the middle and then bring the cup to my lips, taking a good, hearty swig of the warm liquor. Letting out a noise of satisfaction, I put down my cup. “What’s up?”

  “Don’t get mad, okay?”

  I let out a breath, taking another swig before I shake my head. “I hate when you say that because I know I’m going to get mad.”

  He nods. “Sure, sure, but you have to understand that I took care of the situation. Plus, I would have told ya sooner, but I got drunk as hell last night, slept at the pub, and was late to work. I’ve been swamped with work all day, and I haven’t had time to get back to you about it. I didn’t want to say this over the phone either.”

  I’m irritated by the time he is done talking. “Fuckin’ hell, what?”

  He takes a quick drink of his whiskey before meeting my gaze. “Amberlyn apparently called things off with Casey last night.”

  He pauses. I’m not sure why that would make me mad, but before I can ask him, he says, “And he attacked her.”

  I am out of my seat within a second. Leaning on the desk, my arms taut, I ask, “What the fuck? He did what?”

  “He got ahold of her, dug his nails in her face, and made her kiss him, I guess. She kneed him in the balls. That’s when I came in, fuckin’ clocked him one, threatened to kill him if he came anywhere near her again, and that was it. She’s all right, a little shook up, but she’s a trooper.”

  My nostrils flare as my nails bite into the desk to the point where I am convinced they might just pop off, but I don’t care, I am going to kill Casey fucking Burke.

  “Now calm down, Dec. I told you, I took care of it.”

  “No, I’m going to fucking kill him,” I say, coming around the desk, but he stops me.

  “Won’t do ya any good. I took care of it. He touches her again, you get him then, but now, it won’t do anything but make you look crazy. Let it go.”

  I shake my head as I take in a deep, long breath. “I hate him.”

  Kane nods. “I know, we both do.”

  “Why would he do that to her?”

  He shrugs. “He fancies her, I guess.”

  “Great way of showing it!”

  “She called things off, and he got mad. I don’t get it.”

  That doesn’t soothe my anger. “I’ll kill him. I swear to fuckin’ God, he touches her again, I’ll go away for her.”

  Kane laughs as he pats my shoulder. “I know it, and I’ll sit right there beside you in the cell.”

  That causes a grin to grow on my face. He really is my best friend, but I can’t appreciate that the way I should with the anger still coursing through my veins. I shake my head as I let out a long breath. Looking up at Kane, I ask, “Why didn’t she tell me? I saw her today, I asked about her face, and she didn’t tell me anything about it. Fiona is lying to me too. Why are they lyin’ to me?”

  Kane shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

  That’s not a good enough answer for me. “Well, I’m going to fuckin’ find out!”

  Passing by him, I go out the door and out to where Cathmor is waiting for me by a tree. Kane is running behind me, coming to a halt beside me. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to go see Amberlyn and find out why she lied to me.”

  “Now?”

  “Seems like as good a time as any,” I reply before I greet my horse.

  “Well, it just seems like you’re mad. I think you might want to calm down.”

  “Well, it’s either her or Casey. Pick one.”

  “Ugh, neither? Let’s get drunk,” he suggests, but I know I can’t do that. If I do, I’m bound to do something stupid. I shake my head, looking back at Kane.

  “I’ll calm down before I get there. I need to know why she lied to me. Why she didn’t tell me what was going on. Why doesn’t she trust me?”

  I have so many questions, but I don’t want to sound like a total eejit, spilling my heart out to my best friend. I feel like I did the day before when she told me she was going out with him, like a failure, something I don’t like. I don’t understand what I have done not to earn her trust. I thought I had been really open with her, but maybe I haven’t. I don’t know, but I know I need answers and I need them now.

  Thankfully, Kane doesn’t say anything more, and within seconds, Cathmor is carrying me to where I need to be.

  And that’s with Amberlyn.

  Chapter 11

  Amberlyn

  I just want to go back to bed.

  My head is pounding, and I just feel empty. Add the stuff that is happening with Casey and Declan to the fact that today is just a “bad Mom and Dad day,” and that means I am just having the worst day ever. I woke up feeling like shit. Utter crap. I miss my mom, I miss my dad, I hate what Casey did, and I hate how things have played out with Declan. The night before has played over and over in my head, and I keep trying to figure out if there was a way I could have prevented it from happening.

  Maybe I should’ve never gotten involved with him. Maybe I should have listened to the warning signs when they were flashing in my face. The first time he kissed me without even knowing my name should have told me that he wasn’t the guy I was meant to get involved with. Instead, I used him to distract me from my feelings for Declan, and I can’t believe how utterly stupid that was. I should have just left it alone, and let everything play out. Instead, I made bad choice after bad choice, and now, I just feel stupid. Downright dumb. I don’t even know what I was thinking. He isn’t my type, and I still took the risk when it wasn’t the right one to take.

  Blah.

  I’ve always seen myself with someone like my dad. My dad was so respectful, worked hard to provide for his family, and loved with everything inside of him. There wasn’t a day, and still isn’t one, that I didn’t know he loved me. It was all in his eyes and the things he did. He would buy my mom flowers just because, and he would leave little notes for me. He was never too tired to do things with my mom and me. We were his world, and I always said I would be with someone like him.

  The main thing is that I want to be wooed, I want to be wined and dined, and I want the romance that my mom had. What a whirlwind it was! She didn’t like my dad at first, said he was obnoxious, but he wouldn’t give up. He showed up relentlessly wherever she was. He’d sing to her with a whole crowd around them. He’d bring her tokens of his love, little sweet nothings she called them, that made her fall for him completely. He promised her the world, and he gave it to her, she said, the day I was born.

  Clearing my throat, I look away from the customer talking to me to collect myself. This isn’t the place to reminisce about my family, but I just miss them so much. It seems like I never stop thinking about them. Sometimes I wonder if I would be the
same person I am now if I had both of them today. I know I probably wouldn’t be in Ireland, but would I still be the naïve girl that I am? Never been thoroughly kissed by a man, never been in bed with one, or even touched in a sexual way. I don’t know why I am thinking so much about being a virgin, but since last night, that’s the second thing that has been flooding my thoughts.

  All I could think as Casey was forcing himself on me was that I was going to be raped my first time. I know it happens to women all the time, and I hate that more than I can ever express, but I always pictured my first time, like every other girl, all romantic and sweet with the man I love. Or even hot and passionate in the back of my longtime boyfriend’s car because we didn’t have anywhere to go since both our parents were home. I never got that though. I never really did anything wrong. I was always the perfect daughter. I’m not saying I want to start doing crazy shit, but I just want to stop feeling like my life has been nothing up to this point.

  Because I know it hasn’t. I cared for and loved my mother until her dying breath. I was and still am a straight A student. I know how to run a household, and I know how to love because I watched two of the most unbelievable people in the world do it. I just hate that I let myself get in the position I did last night, and more than anything, I hate that I pushed Declan away today.

  I should have told him about Casey, maybe not all of what happened, but I just couldn’t. I am so embarrassed, and I’m positive he’d think I am as stupid as I feel. A stupid, naïve girl who isn’t worth his time. It was bad enough that I turned him down despite my gut feeling not to, but now I put myself in a position with Casey. One I don’t like. I mean, I get that flowers are good things to send when you need to apologize, but I am sure that Kane’s message was clear when he told him to stay the hell away from me. I guess that Casey didn’t fully understand that.

  Instead, he spent money on a beautiful bouquet of yellow daisies and wrote me a note that he really shouldn’t have because I do not intend to speak to him ever again. Even though I threw the flowers and card away, I’ll never forget the words he messily wrote to me.

  Amberlyn,

  I am sorry for the way I acted last night. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel that I forced you into something you did not want. I assumed you felt for me what I feel for you and acted on the feelings. I hope that we can move on from this and maybe you will consider giving me another chance. I know that we just met, but I just feel this insane attraction to you, and I hope you feel the same.

  Casey.

  I still can’t believe he actually thinks I want to have anything to do with him. He scared the living shit out of me, and I don’t think I’d ever be able to be with him alone. I don’t know if I believe the stories that I have heard since. Of course, it is still only a rumor, but I was there to feel him dig his nails in my face, and that alone has me not wanting to be anywhere near him. The mere thought has me physically shaking as I fill my regular’s pint.

  “You all right?”

  I look up at Fiona. “Sure. Just supertired.”

  She moves around me, filling her own pints. As she does, she leans in and whispers, “I heard you crying, Amberlyn. I know you’re not. You can talk to me.”

  I move around her to pass a pint before grabbing another. “I know I can but not now. I’m fine.”

  She looks around, cupping my shoulder in a loving way. “All right, we won’t be busy much longer.”

  “I hope not.” I sigh as I put a fake smile on my face when my favorite college guy comes to the bar.

  “I love you, Amberlyn. Marry me?”

  I smile. “Sorry, Brian, I’m not in the marrying mood tonight.”

  He looks deflated for only a second before he asks, “Mrs. Maclaster, are you and your husband still together?”

  My aunt Shelia laughs loudly from where she is working the register. “Of course, we are, Brian. Go on before I call your gran!”

  Brian’s eyes widen before he scurries off with the pint I filled. He is always here for a good laugh, but tonight I just don’t feel like laughing. Letting out a sigh, I reach for the plates my uncle placed on the food counter and serve them to table nine. My patrons are all grinning and thanking me, but then, suddenly, they fall silent and their heads turn toward the door. Weird. I look around and see that everyone is doing the same thing, which can only mean one thing.

  Turning, I find Declan standing in the middle of the door, breathing heavily, with his face red. He looks around the pub, and when his eyes fall on me, meeting my gaze, I can’t catch a breath to save my life. Honestly. His blue eyes are flaring with anger, his brows meeting together, and his sweet mouth is in a straight line. Instantly, my heart speeds up and a weird feeling settles in my stomach.

  He knows.

  “I need to talk to you, right now,” he says in a very steady, but forceful voice.

  I raise an eyebrow as everyone’s eyes shift to me. “Okay?”

  “Now.”

  I scoff. “Well, you’re gonna have to give me a minute. I have to finish serving these tables.”

  “No, I need to talk to you this instant. Please.”

  I roll my eyes as I walk past him to get the plates I couldn’t carry. “Like I said, it’s gonna be a minute.”

  “Amberlyn,” my aunt scolds as I reach for the plates. “Declan would like to speak with you.”

  “Okay?” I ask. “I have tables to serve.”

  “We can take care of that,” she says, pushing Fiona toward me, but I shake my head, holding the plates out of Fiona’s reach.

  “But I can,” I say, taking the plates. “He can wait.”

  “No, he cannot,” she urges me, her eyes wide.

  But I stand my ground. I have to work, and I don’t answer to Declan’s beck and call, unlike everyone else in the damn town. “Yes, he can,” I say, passing by him and setting the plates down. I know I have mixed up everyone’s orders, but I doubt they even notice. They are all just as shocked as my aunt.

  “Anything else?”

  No one says anything, and I roll my eyes before glaring at Declan. “Fine, you’ve rendered the pub speechless. I guess we can go outside. Might as well do it in here though, since I can guarantee you everyone will be listening.”

  Declan crosses his arms across his chest, his eyes burning into mine. “I’d like to speak to you in private, please.”

  I pass by him and go out the door he left open. When I hear it shut behind me, I know he followed. I start for the field by the parking lot so that Declan can have the privacy he asked for, since I am going nowhere near the alley I was in with Casey last night. When a gorgeous white and black horse comes into view, my mouth drops open.

  “Who rides a horse to the pub?” I ask, reaching out to pet him. He neighs a greeting, rubbing his nose into my hand.

  “I do. That’s Cathmor.”

  “Of course you do,” I say. I mean, really? A horse? He comes riding across the field on his mighty steed to have it out with the woman who crossed him. It is so eighteen hundreds-ish that it isn’t even funny. Doesn’t he know that we live in the twenty-first century? I let out a disgruntled noise, knowing I’m being a bitch, but I don’t like the way he came in demanding to speak to me. Dropping my hand from the beautiful horse, I turn and make my way to the field. Once there, I whip around to find myself face-to-face with Declan. My breath hitches as his eyes watch me, his chest rising and falling, and his mouth still in such a straight line. I wish he’d smile more. He makes me nervous when he is staring at me like this.

  “Amberlyn—” he starts to say.

  I cut him off before he can finish. “Before you say what you need to, I’d like to say that I don’t like the way you talked to me. I am not beneath you. You don’t demand anything of me or push me around!”

  His head falls to the side, his eyes still locked with mine, but then he nods. “I’m sorry. I let my emotions take over.”

  “Thank you,” I say, mimicking his stance and crossing my arms ac
ross my chest as I look away. “Now, as you were saying?”

  He chuckles. It has me looking up at him quickly, surprised. His mouth is turned up in the most beautiful smile ever. His anger and his standoffish stance are gone, and what is left behind is breathtaking. His eyes are so light, even in the darkness, and his smile radiant. I am in awe as he says, “I love how you treat me. It is refreshing. I also admire the fact that you can’t be pushed around. I respect you, Amberlyn, a lot.”

  That has me dropping my arms and tucking my hands in my pockets. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll admit that I’m spoiled and usually get what I want, but you’ve never treated me that way. I like that you put me in my place. I should have never spoken to you like that. Thank you for reminding me of that.”

  “To me, you’re just a regular guy, like I’ve said before.”

  “I know and I like that, but I don’t like being lied to, Amberlyn.”

  I look up quickly. “I never lied to you.”

  “No? Then what would you call it? Withholding information?”

  I shrug as I look away again. “Okay, maybe I did withhold some information, but it wasn’t like you came out and asked.”

  “Maybe so, but I don’t like what happened, not one bit, and it is taking everything out of me not to go find him and fuckin’ kill him,” he says, his accent flaring more so than before with his voice laced with anger.

  “I know.”

  “Why did you lie to me? I thought we were friends, at least.”

  I shrug again as I shake my head. “I just felt so embarrassed. Like, how stupid could I be? Why did I go out with him alone after what Fiona told me about your sister? Why did I allow him to get so close to me—where I was in reach of him grabbing me? You know? Is it my fault because I allowed him to kiss me before without really putting up any kind of boundaries?”

  He is shaking his head before I can finish talking. Stepping closer, he says, “No, he is trash, filth. Amberlyn, you did nothing wrong. He did. A man should respect a woman. Something that Casey Burke obviously has no clue on how to do.”