by Toni Aleo
I know he is right, but I still doubt the fact, even though everyone has told me the same thing. I just feel so stupid and wish I were a better judge of character. “I just don’t want to look bad in your eyes, and I feel like that is exactly what happened. I not only turned you down, but I went out with a guy you obviously hate. I mean, how do we come back from that? Do you even want to be anywhere near me?”
When his hand cups my chin, I look up, surprised to find him much closer than he was a second ago. Looking deep in my eyes, Declan holds my face tenderly as he says, “You’ll never look bad in my eyes, Amberlyn. I’m smitten with you, if you haven’t noticed. I have been since the moment I saw you. I never want anything to happen to you. I’m sorry about what happened, but I can promise it never will again. Not while I’m around. And the answer is yes… I want to be near you, very much so.”
I can only blink as he holds my gaze, his other hand coming up to cup my cheek. “I’d like to take you out to dinner and get to know you. See if this thing I have for you is real because, yeah, you did turn me down, and you did go out with someone I despise, but that’s all in the past, done with, over. All I care about at this moment is your lips forming the word yes.”
I know my eyes are wide and my mouth is hanging open in complete shock as I dumbly ask, “Really?”
His mouth curves up as he nods slowly, his lips only inches from mine. “Yes, I promise it will be worth your while.”
I don’t doubt that at all. “Then, yes, I’d like that.”
He smiles as he drops his hands from my face and takes my hands in his. Bringing my knuckles to his lips, he kisses each one before looking back up into my eyes. He leans in, his mouth so close that my lips part as I await his kiss. I can feel his breath against my mouth as he whispers, “Tomorrow?”
I’m breathless as I agree. “Sure.”
“Wonderful. Let me walk you back to the pub.”
Wait, what? His fingers intertwine with mine, and I’m still gasping for breath, unsure on what just happened. “You’re not going to kiss me?”
I. Did. Not. Just. Ask. That.
Oh my God, someone kill me now. What the hell is wrong with me? I close my eyes, covering my face with my free hand, but Declan laughs as he uncovers it, taking my chin between his forefinger and thumb. Holding my gaze, he says, “Not yet, but did you want me to?”
My heart skips a beat as I smile, looking deep in his eyes. “Yeah, I do.”
He smiles. “Good to know. Yes, of course I want to, but I want to wait.”
My brow comes up as I look at him questioningly. “For?”
“The moment it will mean the most, when you’ll least expect it.”
Breathlessly, I grin like a fool as my heart swells in my chest. I’m glad he didn’t kiss me because now I want to wait for that moment too. I don’t know why, but as he holds my gaze, I know it will be a moment worth waiting for.
As long as it’s with him.
Chapter 12
Declan
“What are you grinning at?”
I glance over to where my sister is watching me from the doorway. I am sitting in my favorite chair in my library, getting lost in the world of The Hobbit. I don’t know how I forgot how much I love this book. It’s been years since I’ve read it, and I feel like a kid again—lost in the world of dwarfs, hobbits, and the dragon, Smaug. It’s great, and I wish I did this more often. Usually, I work all the time, and I’ve decided I need to make more time to read. Instead of only doing it when I am nervous and trying to distract myself. I am doing that now, to pass time before I have to go pick up Amberlyn.
Amberlyn.
Ugh, just thinking her name has my heart palpitating in overdrive. I was so mad before I found myself in the field with her. Alone. Just us. Her eyes set on mine, and all my anger was gone. Feeling her so close, holding her hands, and looking so deep into her eyes had me wondering why I waited so long for this moment. I should have just jumped in from the beginning, but that was in the past. Now all that matters is that in no time, I’ll be getting lost in her aquamarine eyes. I am giddy. Something I’ve never felt before, but looking into my sister’s knowing eyes, I feel that my giddiness might be short-lived.
“Nothing,” I lie, because there is no way I am sharing my thoughts of Amberlyn with her, or anyone for that matter. I haven’t even kissed the girl, and she can turn me into a blabbin’ eejit. I want her, desperately. I want her lips on mine; I want to feel her body against mine as we lay in bed, talking and getting lost in each other’s bodies. I have never been this far gone with a girl whom I’ve just met, but I find that I am. It’s scary and causes my heart to feel like it is blowing up in my chest, but there is something about Amberlyn that hits me in my core.
Pressing my lips together, I glance back at my book but I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She is wearing jeans and a T-shirt, not something she’d wear to go out in public, which means she is having a “lazy day” as she calls it. Usually she’s so made up, every single detail so perfect that she looks like a Barbie doll. When I say that, she gets mad, but it’s the truth. It makes me nervous because I know that’s not her. She does it for my ma, for Micah, since his family expects her to look pristine at all times. She’s so young, but she already has so much on her shoulders. Sometimes I wonder if she is really doing what she wants or doing only what everyone expects of her. I refuse to do that, but then, maybe I am because I’m doing exactly what my da wants of me. But that can’t be right because I’m not doing it for him; I’m doing it for the distillery. It’s my home, my business, and I won’t have another person run what’s mine. I’m what’s best for it, and I’ll do anything to keep it.
Lena sits on the arm of my chair, leaning into me as she wraps her arm around my shoulder. “I know it’s something, Declan, or someone maybe?”
I shake my head innocently. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Fiona Maclaster maybe?”
I scoff. “No, Kane’s goin’ out with her.”
That must have stunned her, which means that not too many people know about Amberlyn, but they will after tonight. Even though it has my skin breaking out in goose pimples and my heart beating out of control, I know that once I bring Amberlyn to Thornton’s, everyone will see us and report it as news when all it’s supposed to be is my first date with the most gorgeous girl in Ireland. But I try not to think about it. Instead, I’ll enjoy stumping my sister and my ma too, since I know she sent Lena in to spy. “Then who are you seeing at the Céad Míle Fáilte?”
I shrug my shoulders. “No one.”
“Oh, ya liar!” she accuses as she smacks my forearm. “Fine, fine, keep it to yourself. Are you going to bring her to the White Ball?”
I don’t want to answer, but before my brain can tell my mouth that, I say, “If she’ll have me.”
“Ha! I knew there was someone!”
Fuckin’ hell. “Yeah, so?” I ask as I look up at her. Her eyes are dancing with laughter, her grin unstoppable, but when her eyes meet mine, her grin falls.
“No, I’m happy,” she says with her palms up to me. “I want you to find your Mrs. O’Callaghan. This is awesome.”
“Don’t go putting that thought in your head. It’s our first date. I could find her annoying after tonight.”
I doubt that, but it could be true. Lena gives out a laugh as she shakes her head. “No way, not with the way she makes you smile.”
Maybe so. Pushing into her playfully, I smile when she hugs me tightly. Pulling away, she leans back as she rests her head against mine. “Have you talked to Kane lately?”
“Of course, saw him earlier today.”
“So you know that he and Casey got into it?”
I pause before moving my head out from beneath hers to look up at her. “Got into it? Way I heard it, Kane knocked him the hell out.”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
“Then yeah, I heard. Why? How did you?”
“One of my
friends said she was in the shop the other night and he was saying how our family has ruined him. He can’t even get a date with a fuckin’ American.”
I shrug, my heart picking up in speed with anger. I hate that fuckin’ gobshite. “It isn’t our family—it’s him. It’s his fault he’s a fuckin’ wanker, and maybe it’s the way he treats women that keeps him from getting a date.”
She nods slowly as her eyes glaze over. I always hate when Casey’s name comes into the conversation. It makes my beautiful sister look so hollow. I place my hand on hers. “Don’t let him bother you one bit.”
“No, no, I’m not. It’s just I hate when he runs our names through the mud when really he has no right to. We don’t go around running his name.” She pauses as her eyes meet mine. “Well, at least I don’t, nor does Ma. It’s mainly you and Da.”
“He’s a fuckin’ fucktard. I hate him.”
“I know. I just wish we could all let it go. It happened so long ago,” she says sadly.
“It was only three years ago,” I say, and I can feel my skin burning with anger. “You don’t care for him still, do you?”
She shakes her head quickly. “Hell no, I just hate how it went down. I really don’t know what happened, and I don’t even know what has been said is true. All I know is that I left with him, and I wake up cold, wet from the rain, and raped. It’s scary and still hurts me inside, you know? I love Micah, I do, but I don’t know. I just feel like a part of me is still missing. The part Casey took, and it scares me that I’ll never be the person I was.”
I hold her hand in mine and nod. “You’ve grown, Lena. You’ve learned from your mistakes. It has made you a stronger person. You are still healing from it, and you’re going to overcome all of it. I believe that because you’re amazing, Lena.”
She lets out a long breath as she nods. “That’s what Micah says when I tell him this.”
“Then believe him, because it’s the truth.”
She smiles as she leans into me again. “I just think that hearing about him, talking about him, messes with me and makes it worse. I wish that he would just leave town. I told Da this at dinner because I’m so over him, but even Da agrees. If he hasn’t left yet, he won’t. Not with his ma here, God bless her soul. Such a wonderful woman, such a shitty fella.”
“Yeah,” I agree as I shake my head. I would love nothing more than to never see him again, but like my sister said, it won’t happen unless we leave. Casey’s ma is very sick, has been for years, and he is the only one who can take care of her.
“So I asked Micah if we can skip town once we are married and he agreed. I haven’t told Ma and Da yet.”
I nod as a grin pulls at my lips. “That’s good. I doubt they’ll mind. They’ll have to understand the reasoning behind it.”
And I know I’m right. This is the first summer Lena has stayed home since it happened. Usually she goes off to Germany with her friends or family, but since meeting Micah, I’ve slowly seen my sister come back to life. He may be dumb as a rock, but he treats my sister like a princess, so he is all right in my eyes.
“Yeah, I hope. Oh well, if they don’t! We are the rebels of the family, I think!”
I laugh as I agree. “Maybe so, but I know I can’t leave.”
“Then you better get married before I have to stay here and Micah runs the business.”
I scoff as I shut my book. “I’d turn over in my grave before I’d let that happen.”
“I know. You love it too much.”
“I do.”
She looks down at my book, reaching for it and flipping carelessly through the pages. I want to ask her to be careful, but before I can, she says, “I don’t think Da will give it to Micah.”
I shrug, reaching for the book to keep it safe. “I’m not sure one way or another, but I don’t plan to find out. I am doing what they want. Let’s hope it works out.”
“With the girl from the pub?” she asks with a wink.
A smile pulls at my mouth as I shrug but reality sets in because I may want that to be true at this moment, but all it is right now is attraction. I don’t know her deepest, darkest secrets, I don’t know what makes her tick, and I don’t know what her wants are for the future. We could want two totally different things, and as much as I hope that doesn’t happen, I can’t help but think about it. It scares me, but at the same time, I try to push those thoughts away because I want to enjoy her. I want to live in the now.
With her.
So looking back at my sister, I grin as I slowly shrug. “Maybe.”
* * *
When I pull up to the Maclasters’ house, I park behind Fiona’s little Bug and turn my car off. I run my hand through my thick, curly hair, knocking my beanie off. I consider leaving it off, but only for a second before I pull it back down on my head. Letting out a long breath, I tap my fingers on the steering wheel, willing myself to go get my date. I’ve been thinking that I might not like her after tonight, but what if she doesn’t like me? What if she thinks I eat loudly? Or maybe that I don’t smile enough like my ma says? What if I say something stupid and she runs the other way?
Fuckin’ shite.
My knee is bouncing, my heart pounding, and my hands feel clammy. I was fine driving over here, excited even, but now, I feel like I might vomit. When I see the curtain pull back and Mrs. Maclaster peek out, I know I’ve been seen and have to go in. Throwing the door open, I step out and head toward the door. Before I can knock, it flies open and Mrs. Maclaster grins up at me.
“Declan, how nice to see you,” she greets before stepping out of the way to allow me to come in. I give her a curt smile before stepping inside and meeting Mr. Maclaster’s gaze. I reach my hand out and he takes it strongly, squeezing my hand as he holds my gaze.
“Howya, Mr. Maclaster.”
“Howya, Declan. Good to see ya.”
“You too,” I say, dropping my hand from his and tucking it in my pocket.
“Amberlyn should be down any second. They have been fussin’ over hair and makeup all afternoon.”
I nod as I look around the Maclasters’ home. It is an old stone home with beautiful, large windows with a wonderful view of the lake. The furnishing makes the house homey and inviting. A smile plays on my lips when my gaze falls on a picture of Fiona and Amberlyn hugging tightly. It has been taken recently because it isn’t even in a frame yet, just leaned up against an old, Celtic cross. They could honestly pass as sisters with how much they look alike—both so beautiful. “That’s a nice picture.”
They both nod, Mrs. Maclaster’s grin wide and full of love. “Yes, our girls. They are something, that’s for sure.”
I couldn’t agree more. When the sound of someone coming down the stairs catches my attention, I turn to find Fiona and then Amberlyn. Like an angel from heaven, Amberlyn is breathtaking. In a pair of tight, light pink slacks, she has on a black, lacy top that she has covered with a matching pink blazer. But the outfit wasn’t what had my tongue thick in my mouth. It was the shoes—sexy, black, and high, making her legs look long and lean. A smile pulls at my lips as her eyes meet mine. Her eyes are done up very dramatic, something that I haven’t seen on her before. Her hair is in a mess of curls down her shoulders and her lips are full, pink, and glossy. I want nothing more than to lick every bit off her sexy, sweet mouth. Fuck, she is intoxicating.
Her mouth pulls up at the side as she walks over and stops before me. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I say breathlessly. “You look gorgeous.”
Her cheeks dust with color as she smiles. “Thanks, so do you,” she says as her eyes run lazily over me. I am dressed nice enough, I guess, in a pair of khakis and a blue button-up shirt, but in a way, I feel inferior to her, which is crazy since I’ve never felt like that before. I’ve never thought someone was better than I am, but at that moment, getting lost in Amberlyn’s eyes, I feel that way. I’m not sure I deserve to spend the night with this beautiful woman.
“Well, be home by midnight, please.”<
br />
We both look over at Mr. Maclaster, and I notice that a grin is playing on Amberlyn’s mouth as Fiona smacks her da on the arm.
“Da! She’s twenty years old! Let her be!”
But I don’t think Mr. Maclaster cares how old Amberlyn is. He wants her home, and I respect that. I go to say that as Mrs. Maclaster blurts out, “Yes, don’t listen to him, Declan. You do what you’d like with her. Bring her home whenever.”
The room falls silent except for Fiona’s giggles as Amberlyn gawks at her aunt and Mr. Maclaster sets her with a look. I have no clue what to say to that, so I look back at Amberlyn as she rolls her eyes. “No, I’ll be home at midnight, and he won’t have his way with me! Jeez, Aunt Shelia!”
Fiona is still laughing as Mrs. Maclaster sets her with a look. “He’s Declan O’Callaghan… He’ll do what he pleases.”
“No, he won’t,” Mr. Maclaster and Amberlyn say at the same time.
“Yeah, I won’t,” I agree.
I doubt anyone is listening to me as Amberlyn says, “I don’t care if he’s the Pope. Jeez, can you believe this lady?” she asks me, but I don’t answer as she steps to her aunt. “And to think, you’re my favorite aunt ever?”
Mrs. Maclaster’s face is red, but her smile is still beaming. Kissing her cheek, Amberlyn leans to Mr. Maclaster and kisses his cheek before saying, “I’ll be home by midnight.”
He nods before setting me with a look. This is really weird. I don’t do this. I don’t date, and to have a set limit on when I have to bring a woman home is a little weird, but I don’t have a problem doing what is asked of me. I want them to like me.
“Ye have fun!” Mrs. Maclaster calls as we head out the door after Amberlyn hugged Fiona bye. Once the door shuts, Amberlyn laughs. “If this is what it would have been like when I was younger going on my first date, I’m glad I waited. My dad would have been worse than my uncle, and my mother probably would have cried.”