“Senator? Judge Wallace is ready for you now.” The judge’s admin came out into the hallway and flicked a glance from one of us to the other. We filed into the ante room behind her, and she opened the door to the judge’s chambers. She joined us, standing off to one side. I figured she was the second witness, since it didn’t appear Lacey had brought anyone.
“Edward.” Judge Wallace stood behind his desk. He wore a gray suit and a serious expression.
“Ted.” The two men shook hands. “May I introduce my . . . uh, Lacey. And you remember my son Liam?”
“Of course I do. Good to see you again.” He extended his hand to me, and I shook it. “You’re finished college by now, aren’t you? I don’t think I’ve seen you since you graduated. What’re you doing now? Following your father’s footsteps?”
“No.” I might’ve put a little too much emphasis on the word if the way my father winced was any indication. “No, sir. I’m a history professor down at Birch.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “Honorable profession. I think I did hear that you’re about to be married yourself.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. “Yes, sir. A week from tonight, in fact.”
“Well, congratulations to you. I wish you every happiness.” Judge Wallace sighed. “Well, let’s get underway, shall we?”
It was over in a matter of moments. The words were brief and to the point, without any of the sentiment or meaning I’d heard in other marriage ceremonies. Something Father Byers had said during pre-Cana class flitted through my memory: These words are ancient, but they stand the test of time. They resonant with us today, because truth and love know no boundary of time or space.
And then Judge Wallace was shaking my father’s hand again, and mine, and offering Lacey congratulations. I signed a form, as did the judge’s admin, and we left the chambers.
Standing outside in the hallway again, my dad rubbed his hands together and tried to look happy. “Lacey and I were thinking of catching an early dinner at that little restaurant around the corner. The one that serves the excellent London broil. Would you care to join us?”
Suddenly, I couldn’t be here with them for another moment. “No, thanks. I think I’ll go home and wait for Ava.” I offered him my hand. “Congratulations, Dad. Lacey. I hope you’ll be happy.”
My father nodded. “Thank you for driving all the way up here, Liam. I appreciate it.”
“I know you do.” I hesitated for one more time. “I’ll see you both next week.”
Lacey spoke to me for the first time that afternoon. “Thank you for—letting me come to your wedding. I know it was last minute. But—thanks.”
“Sure thing.” I thought about what Ava’s father said so often. “It’s all about family, you know. And now you’re part of ours.” For better or for worse, I thought, but I forced a smile.
Lacey’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”
I nodded, sketched a wave and turned to go, sprinting down the stairs of the courthouse and out onto the street. I couldn’t get home fast enough. All I wanted was to see Ava, wrap her in my arms and feel her steadiness around me.
She wasn’t there when I opened our front door. I called her name, but it didn’t surprise me that she was still at work, with as much extra time as she’d been putting in lately. I opened a bottle of her favorite wine and was just putting together a plate of cheese and crackers when my phone rang. Mrs. DiMartino’s name was on the screen.
“Liam, it’s me. I hope I’m not interrupting work.” That was her typical greeting, and I grinned.
“Not at all. I just got home.” I sat down at the kitchen table.
“Well, I might be making a mountain out of a molehill, but I’m worried. You know Ava came down this afternoon.”
I frowned. “She did? Why?”
“We talked about it last week. I wanted her to see the tablecloths and linens I’d ordered for the wedding, and she brought down her wedding gown, too, after she picked it up from the store today. Didn’t she tell you she was coming?”
Shit. Yes, she had. I remembered it now, vaguely. And this morning, when she’d kissed me good-bye, she’d said she might be late coming back, and if she were too tired, she’d just stay over at her parents’ house.
“Yeah, that’s right. Sorry, there’s been a lot going on. I forgot she was down with you. Everything okay?”
“Well, she got here about an hour ago. She looked at everything I needed to show her, and then she said she needed go out. To be alone. I’m at the restaurant now, but I tried to call her and I didn’t get an answer. Like I said, maybe it’s nothing, but I’m worried. She didn’t look right.”
“No, I’m glad you called. She’s been under so much stress lately.” I stood up and reached for my coat. “Listen, I’m driving down there now. Call me if you hear from her, but I think I know where she might be. Try not to get upset. She’s going to be fine.”
I WAS NOT FINE.
I woke up that Friday morning with a sense of dread and doom hanging over me, not at all how I expected to feel a week before my wedding day. But everything at work had been crazy-busy, and I’d been pulling so many extra hours that I practically lived at the office.
Giff kept calling me to remind me of last-minute chores only I could do. I knew I’d hit bottom the day before when I’d snapped at him. “I thought that’s why you were coordinating the wedding, Giff. So that I don’t have to deal with this shit. I don’t have time for it.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. I closed my eyes and swallowed back a sob that surprised me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just so fucking tired, and I can’t handle one more thing, one more person asking me why something isn’t done.”
“Peaches, chill. You think you’re the first bride who’s gone apeshit on me? I’ve got skin like bronze. Nothing bothers me.”
“Still, you’re my friend. I love you. I didn’t mean to jump on you.”
“Ava, let me give you some advice. And you’d better take it. Screw work, screw all the stress. Go get a massage, or a facial, or a pedicure, or whatever floats your boat. You need a break. I’ll handle everything from here. You trust me, right?”
I smiled through my tears. “With my very life.”
“There you go, that’s my peaches. Hang up, grab your coat and get gone. Don’t try to explain it to anyone. Just leave. The world will survive without you. Even the world of advertising and social media.”
I glanced at the clock. “I am supposed to leave a little early this afternoon. I’ve got to pick up my wedding gown and drive it down to my parents’ house. Ma wants it there ahead of time, so I don’t have to stuff it in the car with the rest of the stuff next week when I drive down. And she wants me to check out the tablecloths she ordered.”
“Excellent. Take off now, go spend some time with Mrs. D, and then take some time for just Ava. And call me tomorrow. I’m willing to bet you’ll be a new woman.”
After we hung up, I picked up my handbag and my laptop case. I was just shrugging on my coat when Suzanne poked her head into my office.
“Hey, Ava, I just wanted—”
“No.” I pointed my finger at my boss. “Just no. I am leaving now. I’ve been working overtime for the past two weeks, killing myself to make sure everything runs smoothly while I’m gone, and I am done. It’s not wrong for me to take time off for my honeymoon. I work damn hard all the time, and I deserve a little break. So I’m leaving now, two hours early, and I don’t want to hear anything about it.”
“Hey.” Suzanne held up her hands. “Ava, calm down. I was just coming in to tell you that Mr. Ramp called and was singing your praises. He’s thrilled with the campaign, especially your part. And I was going to say, have a good weekend.”
I bit my lip and glanced up at Suzanne. “Did it finally happen? Bridezilla? Frankenbride? God, I’m sorry, Suzanne. I’m just . . . overwhelmed, I guess.”
She laughed. “I’m n
ot going to say I told you so, because honestly, Ava, you’ve impressed the hell out of me with all you’ve been handling. So take your inner Frankenbride and get out of here. I don’t want to see your face until Monday.”
I didn’t even respond. I grabbed my bags and fled.
***
7 Days to W Day
IT WAS FULLY DARK by the time I got to the beach. I pulled my car along the curb and climbed out, wrapping my scarf around my face. It was damned cold, and the wind down here by the water only made it worse. Off to the side, across the road, I spotted Ava’s small car. I’d had a hunch this was where she’d come. We’d been here once together, about a year ago, and I remembered she’d told me it was where she and Antonia used to go when they wanted to talk away from prying parental ears. It was also where she’d come to cry after her sister died.
I trudged over the small path that led across the dunes and scanned the beach. It was a clear night, and there was enough moonlight that I could make out the waves crashing into the shore. And there, well beyond the reach of the water, huddled on the sand, was my girl.
I fought against the wind to get to her. As I drew closer, I saw she was sitting on a thick blanket of faded green. Her jean-clad legs were drawn up to her body, and she had a knit cap pulled down low over her black hair. Knit gloves covered her hands. At least she’d dressed for the beach in December.
I dropped down next to her. “Hi.”
She didn’t startle at all or even look my way. “Hi.”
“So nice day at the beach, huh?” I pulled my legs in closer to my body heat.
Ava shook her head. “I needed . . . I needed to get away. To think.”
Though my heart stuttered, I kept my voice calm. “To think about . . . us?”
She lifted her shoulder, though I could barely tell under all the layers. “No. Us is probably the one thing I’m sure about.” She finally looked at me. “But I’m scared shitless about everything else. It’s all a mess. We’re going to stand up there next week, in front of God and our families and everyone else—a hundred people, for the love of blessed Mary—and say things to each other . . . and I’m scared. Everyone thinks I’m the calm one. The girl with the plan, who has everything all together. But what if I’m not? What if I’m just as clueless as everyone else? Then what?”
I wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her to me. “Then you have me. And when you’re scared and clueless, I’ll be there for you. Just like you are for me. You don’t have to be the calm one all the time, Ave. You’re allowed to fall apart just like everyone else. I lean on you all the time. Maybe it’s time to let go a little and lean on me.”
She closed her eyes. “I’m not sure I know how.”
“It’s easy.” I pried one of her gloved hands loose from around her knees. “You just open up your hand and let go, and trust me to catch you.” I laced her fingers into my cold ones.
“How can you believe so completely? With everything that’s happening . . . your parents . . . how can you be so sure?”
I smiled. “I am sure about us, and I believe in what we are, because when I look at the future, all I see is you and me. And I know it’s all I need.”
We were quiet for a few minutes, and I felt her sag against me, the tension finally leaving her body. The wind died down, and everything was still.
“I love you, Liam.” She spoke in a whisper that drifted to my ears.
“I love you, Ava.” I kissed the small patch of exposed skin on the side of her face. “Next week, we’re going to use those ancient words Father Byers talked about when we’re in church. But tonight . . . I want to make my own vow to you.” I pulled her to stand, holding her hands in both of mine as I gazed down into her eyes.
“Ava Catarine DiMartino, I’ve loved you for so long that I almost can’t remember not loving you. I think my life began the day you finally smiled at me. And I’ll spend the rest of my days trying to be the man you see in me. You will always be my first thought when I open my eyes in the morning and my last thought before I close my eyes at night. No matter what life throws at us, I will be by your side. Through the good, the bad, the ugly . . . the difficult and the easy . . . I will never leave you. I don’t deserve you, but I’m keeping you anyway. You are my future. You are my love and my life. You are my forever.”
Tears were coursing down her cheeks, and her chest rattled with a sob. But she managed to speak anyway.
“Liam Edward Bailey, I didn’t want to love you. I tried not to. But letting myself love you was the best decision I’ve ever made, and I’ll keep loving you, growing in love, every day from now until the end of time. You are my best friend, my today, my tomorrow, and no matter what happens, I want to be by your side and get through it together. I don’t know what the days to come are going to bring, but as long as it’s you and me, together, I know I can deal with them. I don’t deserve you, but I’m keeping you anyway. You are my world.”
I drew her against me, and we stood there holding each other under the stars while the ocean pounded into the sand.
***
December 21st
Wedding Day
“MA! THERE’S A MAN at the door about the flowers.”
Vincent’s voice boomed up the steps, and my mother, who was standing behind me with a curling iron in her hand, shook her head. “They’re supposed to be delivered to the church, not here. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, can they do nothing right?”
She dropped the curling iron onto my desk. “I’ll be right back.” She pointed at me in the mirror. “Don’t move.”
My phone buzzed, and I dared to move just enough to pick it up. It was a text from Liam.
How’s it going over there?
I grinned. He was staying with Carl and Angela, getting ready over there with Giff and Jeff.
It’s all good here. Two hours til I see you at the altar. Are you ready?
His response was almost immediate.
I’ve been ready to marry you for three years. I love you, babe.
I love you too. Forever.
“It’s all taken care of.” My mother, her hair already done, all ready but for the ancient chenille robe she wore, sailed back into my room. “They’re taking the flowers to St. Thomas’s.” She retrieved the curling iron and surveyed me critically. “Almost done here. Oh, my goodness.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “Can you believe it’s time? You’re getting married tonight, Ava.” She sniffed and pulled a tissue out of the neckline of her robe. I suspected she had an entire box tucked into her bra for easy reach.
“Ma, don’t start again. We just fixed your makeup from before.” I fastened her with a stern eye.
“I know, I know. But my baby . . . my baby girl.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “All right. All right. I’m done.” She wrapped one more long strand of my hair around the hot iron, held it a moment and then released it. “That’s the curls.” She picked up an extra-large economy can of hair spray and surrounded me with a cloud that nearly made me lose consciousness. “There. That hair’s not moving.”
“You use any more hair spray on me, and I won’t be moving, either, because I’ll be asphyxiated.” I waved my hand in front of my face and then examined my hair from all angles. “Just perfect, Ma. Thank you.”
“We’re here!” Julia called from the hallway. “Are you decent?” She came into the room, the green satin of her dress not even beginning to disguise the large baby bump. She was breathtaking and glowing. Behind her, Angela sighed.
“Your hair and makeup look wonderful. It’s almost time to get you in the dress, because Jeff’s heading over to take the family pictures in front of the tree.” We’d decided to do all the formal family portraits beforehand, and with the house decorated for Christmas, the tree was the perfect backdrop.
My small room was filled to capacity as Ma, Angela and Julia all helped me with my gown. Frankie was just outside, chattering in excitement. Her hair was in curls that matched mine.
“There. You’re
all fastened.” Ma came around front and clasped her hands together. “You are . . .” She shook her head. “There are no words. You’re the most gorgeous bride I’ve ever seen.” She dug for more tissues, and Julia sniffled suspiciously, too.
They helped me with my veil, touched up my lipstick, and I was ready.
Jeff arrived, and we all tramped down the steps for the family pictures, and after those, the bridal party photographs. Angela had opted for a short dress in burgundy, while Frankie wore a sweet gown of white chiffon with red and green accents and a wreath of greenery in her hair. Altogether, we looked like a Christmas card.
“I think this is my favorite part.” Giff hugged me carefully. “All the anticipation, all the work . . . it all comes down to this. Family, and love, and all of us together.”
“Giff.” I held his hand and swallowed back tears. “I don’t know what we’d have done without you. Thank you for giving me the exact wedding I wanted.”
He shook his head, but I saw the emotion in his eyes. “Peaches, this was a labor of love for two people who mean more to me than . . .” He pressed his lips together. “You and Beetle, you’re my family.” He took a deep breath. “And enough of the sentiment. Time to make the magic happen.”
Once the pictures were finished, Angela, Frankie and Julia left for the church with Carl and Vincent. My parents and I would go separately. We stood in the kitchen as my father fussed with his cufflinks.
“I can’t believe this is the last time I’ll be in this kitchen as a single girl.” I turned in a small circle, taking it all in: the worn linoleum on which I’d learned to dance, the countertops where I’d rolled out hundreds of gnocchi and fettuccine noodles, and the large round tabletop where I’d eaten nearly every meal from birth until eighteen. As I watched, it seemed the shadows of yesterday came forward and flittered around us. I saw my big brothers, tracking mud inside while Ma yelled. Antonia twirling around the table in her cheerleading uniform, her ever-present smile shining bright. My parents holding hands as they sipped coffee while my sister and I did the dishes. I knew that no matter what happened, I’d take these memories with me. They were part of me.
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