by Miha Mazzini
"Where are you going?"
"Well, to the villa."
"The one on the other side of the island?"
"Where else?"
"The one near the campsite?"
"No, the campsite is in between. A different path leads to the villa. Further than the camp!"
"How"
"I haven’t got time for this! It’s time for action!"
He slammed the shutters and started to clatter around, moving things again.
So that was it! Even if she waited there until the morning or even until doomsday, they would not take her with them because she was a woman! So!
She remembered her mother who was always waiting for something: with lunch for her husband, with a towel for her when she was having a bath. Always. The first signs of puberty manifested themselves in Ana’s wondering when her mother would rebel. She would have been able to respect her a lot more if she had ever raised her voice or done anything her own way. Stopped waiting.
It’s night and I’m free, she told herself.
I’ll go. Now. On my own. They’ll be sorry for not taking me with them.
*
Behind them, Max was calling for his father while Raf and Aco sat next to a bent pine tree. Aco talked and Raf listened:
"I’ll tell you just the most important details, we haven’t got enough time for the rest. When I was eight I looked through the cellar window of that villa," he pointed in the right direction, " and I saw"
He had to take a deep breath and lean his head back before he was able to continue.
" something. A woman killing her child. Slowly, drop by drop, she took his blood as if he was an inkpot and with each drop she wrote down a name in the steam from the glowing amber. About the others who were there, the strange demons, I won’t talk. Towards the end, I screamed. I don’t know if I’d interrupted their ritual or not. I don’t know. It probably doesn’t matter anyway. The next morning the woman disappeared and everybody thought she’d left with her son. She was from India, her husband had been born over on the mainland and he’d brought her here when he retired. He died before his son was born. There were lots of rumours going around the village about the child not being his. The child was born exactly nine months after the husband’s death. I was too young to understand it all then, but the rumours stayed around till I grew up.
I never told anybody what I’d seen. Nobody. Not even those who took me there that night. But it got out somehow and the villa became a no go area for the villagers. I believe that new generations of young boys have all tested their courage there. How many small boys must have stood there swallowing hard and trembling. But nobody ever went really close. There was no talk about the villa being haunted or anything like that, we just never mentioned it at all. The whole village wiped it out of its memory. It wasn’t there anymore, do you understand? I know, we should have gone there and burnt it down. I thought of it many times, but our daily life here is so boring and uneventful that it puts you to sleep. Whatever you can put off till tomorrow, can’t harm you.
I became the leader of a gang of those boys, together we joined the forces and fought for the allies during the last war. I became a professional soldier later. What else could I have done?
I got a whole load of medals. I’ve still got them somewhere. I survived everything. Everything. I was brave only because I wanted to die. But all along I knew I would have to come back one day and deal with what I saw as a child. But I didn’t have the courage! I was afraid! AFRAID! That’s why I was always in the first lines of attack, the most exposed positions. That’s why. I received wounds and medals but never an absolution from that original duty. God is very generous with the former but he finds it hard to give the latter. Once, when I was at the peak of my strength, during the Korean war, I even wished for the demons to return that very moment. But I knew they wouldn’t listen to me and I’d have to meet them when I was weak again.
Do you believe in God?"
"Me? No. I’ve never even thought"
"I was brought up to believe. After what I saw in the cellar I often thought about God. For some time, that was all I thought about. This is how it is, I think. The only time we’re in contact with him is when we sleep. And dreams are our defences, our earthiness, trying to lead us away from Him. If we fight them and break through them we come into contact with Him. That’s what we call a nightmare. The more horrible the nightmare, the closer to Him we are. And that’s why in our everyday life it doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or not: but when your life starts becoming a nightmare that belief is the only thing that can save you. There are no decisions when you’re in contact with God. There’s no free will. And that’s what makes the nightmare so horrible. Things happen to you. Horror is the prayer of our time."
"What about the devil?"
Aco hissed with contempt:
"Ach, names!"
Then he shook his head:
"Let’s leave this, I’ve strayed. I’m glad to have you with me. If I was alone I’d go mad with fear. That’s one advantage of being in the army: you’re never alone. You’ve always got somebody with you and I’m the sort of person whose courage feeds on someone else’s fear and thus smothers his own. But let’s forget this. We’ve got to talk about that thing out there walking towards the campsite. It must never get there! It mustn’t! It would bring to them the madness and the slaughter it brought to you. And then it would go to the village. The ferry comes again tomorrow and it would get on it. And so on. We’ve got to destroy it! Here! Tonight!"
"The child?"
"NO! THAT’S NOT A CHILD! The child died in front of my eyes. This is a thing which which is doing what it was created for. Don’t you ever forget that! It’s not a child! IT’S NOT! It’s not alive either! IT’S NOT! It’s a machine, that’s what it was made to be. I was an army instructor and I’m telling you, I made machines like that, according to my best abilities and within the means at my disposal."
"Yes, but"
"I’ll tell you things about which I’ve heard and which are coming true tonight. When I travelled the world I talked to many people. I made friends in the Indian regiment. I heard about a sect whose priests collect names and who believe that when they’ve collected every name there is, these names will embody God. They believe that God divided himself among all living beings during creation. And I heard rumours that heretics from that sect who’d split away many years ago and who claimed that the names found, remembered or written down by a priest are not the names of real people, but are just the priest’s imagination. They said that every collected name had to come from a real living person and that it had to be taken from them. I’m surprised they left this thing here and not in America where they have a name for everything. Anyway, God had divided himself among his creatures. And everything that exists has a name. Because if there is something new, really completely new, that does not come from God because it hasn’t got a name. That’s why some people say that something really new can never happen. If it ever did, there’d be no God. The thing from the villa asks people their name. You heard how your friend Max keeps shouting how he hasn’t got a name anymore, and Alfonz said something like that too. But all this is just philosophising. Maybe it isn’t true and I’m telling you made up stories. But even those are better than nothing."
Raf felt a disbelief which vanished the moment he remembered Alfonz’s grinning face.
"So, this thing goes around collecting names?"
"Yes. He asked both victims for their names and they told him. You saw what happened to them. Listen, they both said he didn’t open his mouth when he spoke to them."
"Yes, I noticed that."
"That’s what’s worrying me most. Those strange abilities. I don’t know, but it seems that he can read peoples’ minds, at least from nearby, and I’m afraid we’ll have to destroy him without coming close to him or we’ll have to distract him somehow, entrap him."
"We haven’t got"
"We haven’t. The gun is lost and we can’t wait till the morning. All we’ve got is this knife and a plan. I’ll tell you about it later. My niece is waiting in the village to wake my friends."
"The girl from the ferry?"
"Yes. They will"
"What’s her"
"There’s no time for that now. My friends will come and they’ll be armed. But they’ll be too late and the thing will already have done its job in the campsite so we can’t rely on them. Maybe it wasn’t a sensible thing to call them at all. They’ll be expecting monsters and all they’ll see is a child. If you see them you’ll have to explain that to them."
"How"
" will you recognise them? Oh, that won’t be difficult. You’ll hear them as soon as they start off, they’ll come with a lot of noise. Do you remember the pensioners on the bench?"
"Them?"
"Yes, them."
Raf’s head just fell forward. Four pensioners, four senile old men, who had spent their whole life stretching on the bench, moaning about their various ailments, will be the rescue party.
Aco smiled.
"Young people, young people, always judging by appearances. Don’t worry, I’ve been expecting tonight’s events for a long time, so we have worked hard to acquire weapons."
He became serious and got up.
"Let’s go, it’s time to attack."
"What about Max?"
"We’ll leave him here."
"Alone? Tied up?"
"Yes, we won’t carry him with us because we haven’t got the time. We can’t untie him because he’s dangerous. There’s two of us and we can protect ourselves from him. What if he finds somebody who’s alone and weaker than him and he suffocates them with his outpourings of love? He stays here."
Raf looked towards his tied up friend who called him father and he nodded.
"What if"
"Questions kill actions," said Aco. "If we die, he’ll probably die too. But then there will be so many others dead too Let’s leave that now and go."
*
Ana turned round. The shining roofs seemed so beautiful and above all inhabited, as opposed to the pine-trees around her. Only five lights were on and she remembered that when she had left Aco’s house she had not even looked at the light switch. Maybe so that she would see her way back. Didn’t they use to leave a lit candle in the window for travellers and sailors returning home? She trembled and looked around. Crickets were singing and every now and again she could hear a strange noise which she ascribed to birds. Was it much further and above all: was it going to get even more isolated?
Looking at the village, she thought about going back. Luka was probably still pottering around and she could go back and wait under the light. Nobody would even notice her escape and humiliating return.
They would send her to bed because she was a woman.
She knew that was her last chance to go back but she chose to go on.
*
His father had deserted him. No, not for ever, fathers always came back.
Max remembered previous occasions on which his father had left him, particularly one of them, when he had tied his hands behind his back – just like now! – and shut him in a wardrobe. Max did not dare even sob, let alone try to loosen the belt around his wrists. When his father finally returned, he pulled Max out and when he saw the belt, he kicked him and gave him a few blows on the head and then threw him back into the wardrobe. He told him never ever to forget the following lesson: he had to learn to save himself and not wait for anyone else’s help!
Aha, his father was testing him again! This time he’d be ready for him! His father would be pleased with him! He would wait for his almighty father to come surrounded by light whilst his nameless son sits in the darkness. Father, big and mighty like a mountain, so that the ground rumbled under his feet!
Max would be ready for him. He would not disappoint him again.
He started jerking wildly to release his bonds as quickly as possible.
*
They did not talk on their way through the woods. They walked very fast, from time to time almost running. Raf started off at full speed, then stopped himself, thinking that the old man would not be able to keep up with him. But after a while, it was Raf who was out of breath and looking at the old man’s back. Aco kept up the same rhythm and proved to be very fit.
Finally, they stopped at the top of a hill, out of breath. Below them shone the lights of the campsite.
"Everything is quiet," said Raf.
"Yes, we got here in time!"
They saw the receptionist dozing at his desk, scratching his ear from time to time.
"We may have another five, ten minutes. Listen! Can you see that cliff? On the right, a short distance from the campsite?"
Raf nodded. The cliff looked like a slide pointing the wrong way. It slowly ascended from the flat part of the island towards the sea and then stopped suddenly.
"He can’t go past there along the sea. It’s all sharp rocks sticking out of the sea around there. He’ll have to turn towards the island and cross the cliff on its middle part. That’s where we’ll wait for him."
"The plan" said Raf.
"Don’t expect too much. I’ll go and stand at the top of the cliff and I’ll whistle old tunes quietly. When the thing crosses the cliff it’ll see me and come to me to ask my name. I’ll try to distract him while you run from behind that last tree there before the clearing and stick this in his back."
He pulled out the knife and let the blade catch the moonlight.
Raf swallowed thickly. The plan! The plan! How proud and redeeming that word sounded! As if to save them it would be enough just having a plan, without actually carrying it out.
"I"
" shall do that, is what you say to yourself. Repeat that while you’re waiting, repeat and repeat! And then do it!"
"But"
"DO IT! If you don’t, I’ll die first, then you, then the whole of the campsite, the village in the morning, everybody on the ferry at midday, the mainland in the afternoon and in the end, the whole world. Who the hell would shoot at a polite child, who walks the streets asking people their names and then thanks them. And leaves death behind. It isn’t a child, it isn’t alive, it is a walking virus! Just think that and you’ll do it!"
Raf pictured the girl from the ferry instead of a crowd of people. He was talking to her uncle while she was waiting in the village. Maybe she was even asleep? He imagined her in bed, a sheet pulled up to her neck, her right hand lying on top of it. Next to her stood the child looking at her. She opened her eyes and he asked her her name.
Raf trembled.
"I’ll do it," he said.
"Good. My only worry is this. The thing has special abilities for sensing things. And when you come near him he may catch your thoughts. Look at his back, concentrate on something banal, run towards him and stab him with all your strength. Wait, I’ve got an even better idea!"
He got up and started looking at the trees. He cut off the longest and straightest branch he could find, hewed it roughly, cut off most of the top and made a five inch incision in the middle. He pushed the knife handle into the gap, took off his shoes, pulled out the shoe laces and wrapped them around the wood above the knife handle.
"Here, a spear. It’ll give you a distance of two metres between you and it. Maybe those two metres mean nothing, maybe everything!"
He gave Raf the spear and Raf grasped it with both hands. The bark scratched his palms and the sap on the cuts to the wood felt cold.
He looked at Aco’s bare feet. Aco smiled:
"Don’t worry. If you do your job properly I’ll gladly walk to the village barefoot. If not, I won’t need them anymore. I may be running around with an axe in my hands or I’ll go and kiss the one in the woods. Or whatever else the loss of my name would make me do. I certainly won’t be worrying about my shoes."
He looked at Raf and put his hand out:
"It was a pleasure," he
said, "whatever the outcome."
Raf felt a big lump in his throat.
They shook hands.
"What about"
Aco looked up. The child couldn’t be seen anywhere.
"What about?"
"If I go and stand on the cliff? You’ve got more experience, more training, you"
"Yes, I’ve killed more people then you can imagine. But it’s more dangerous up there. Just look at the distance you’d have to run and judging by your figure you’re no sprinter. I may have to tell him my name. Whereas you just run and run. When the spear stops, you’re done."
"What if he really does ask your name?"
"Are you worried you’ll have another madman to cope with?" He looked towards the sea, "don’t worry. Have you ever seen a cook around here prepare a fish before cooking it? She cuts it open and puts it on a rock for the waves to rinse out all the entrails and blood. If needs be, the sea down there can wash my sins away."
"But"
"No buts. This is a private thing I’ve been putting off for fifty years. I’m going up there and that’s it. In addition"
He smiled cheekily. How inappropriate such a smile seemed to Raf on the wrinkled face, at least forty years too late. Is it possible that the brain sometimes forgets what sort of body it’s in?
" if we swapped roles and we failed and I was on my own, I’d die of fear."
"And I"
"And you’ll do everything to the best of your abilities and how it should be done!"
"You think so?"
"Yes, I believe in you."
Aco turned and stepped out of the trees. He would go and leave Raf on his own. On his own, with Aco’s trust.
"You’re lying," Raf half shouted after Aco, who looked back and smiled.
"Even if that was true I wouldn’t say so now."
He nodded and walked in the direction of the cliff. Raf looked after him, knowing that the talking was over. It was time for action now.
7
The pensioners lined up in front of the monument. Luka examined the squad: Adriano had put weight on and could no longer do up his jacket (he had tried to stitch it together but a centimetre-wide strip of his white T-shirt could be seen between the stitches) and to top it all he had hung ammunition belts around his neck like those guys shown on the telly, for which he received a severe reprimand. Miro did not hold himself straight enough and Bruno was perfect as usual, apart from still being out of breath after having gone to Luka’s house to look for the girl. He could not find her and Luka got worried. Could she have done something as stupid as going ahead towards the villa on her own instead of waiting for them? Luka and Aco had been through a lot together and the last thing Luka wanted was to be accused of not having looked after Aco’s niece properly. He felt guilty about having left her waiting in front of his door for so long whilst he was gathering his clothing and weapons. When he had finally got ready and stepped out of the house she was nowhere to be seen. He had sent Bruno to look for her and they had lost another ten minutes. Now it really was time to go.