by Jenika Snow
Not like I had any other choice in the matter.
“But yeah, man,” Tristan said on a grunt as he started lifting. “Come on out if you’re up for it. Beer, tits, and ass ... all of it all up in your fucking face.”
That, I did not doubt. Those frat guys liked to drink and fuck. But that’s not what I was all about.
I tipped my chin in acknowledgment, grabbed my bag off the floor, and headed for the locker room. I was anxious to go to Mia, to hold her, look at her … fucking smell the sweet aroma that always clung to her. I’d been away from her for less than a fucking day and already I was feeling withdrawal symptoms.
Shit, I was gone. I was really fucking gone for Mia. And damn did it feel good.
10
Mia
I felt the goofy grin on my face but I couldn’t help it, couldn’t even try and stop myself. I sat in the auditorium for one of my classes. I should have been paying attention to the lecture, but my focus was shot.
The equations on the whiteboard should have been something I’d been focusing on. I should be paying attention to it because of the test at the end of the week.
But all I kept thinking about was Pope. All I kept thinking about was how he felt on top of me, how it felt to have his hands moving over my body, his mouth at the base of my throat.
God, I was getting myself worked up in the middle of class.
I shifted on the seat, trying to calm myself down.
“Hey,” Rita said from beside me and I glanced at her, giving her a tight-lipped smile.
“Hey,” I said in response and hoped like hell she couldn’t see how on edge I was. But the look on her face told me I wasn’t hiding it very well.
“You okay? You’ve been acting so weird since this morning. What’s up?”
I went back to chewing on the end of my pen, a nervous habit I was finding myself doing more and more these days.
“Nothing,” I said and gave her another smile that was totally forced, and I knew she could definitely tell.
Thankfully she didn’t press me, at least not yet.
When the lecture finally ended, I heaved a sigh of relief, realizing how unfocused I was in class. I put my books in my bag and stood, following Rita out. We both had a free block of time before our next class, so we headed out back toward the commons area known as “The Gardens,” a bricked-in courtyard that really didn’t have much in the way of flowers, but for whatever reason everyone called it that like it did.
We made our way to the courtyard. The few picnic tables were already taken, but the stone bench pressed against one of the far walls was free. We didn’t come out here to study, mainly to bullshit about what was going on in our lives, or more accurately, what was going on in Rita’s life since she was far more interesting in that department than me.
I set my bag beside the bench and sat down, leaning against the brick wall and feeling the sun on my face before closing my eyes. I felt Rita sit beside me, the scent of her perfume surrounding me instantly.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. She had her head back against the wall, her eyes closed, and her head tipped back toward the sunshine. If we’d gone to high school together, she most definitely wouldn’t have talked to me. She would’ve been one of the popular girls. I would’ve hung back in the library and watched them drive off to get lunch while I ate my peanut butter sandwich between the fiction and nonfiction section.
But college was so different. The people were so different. Everyone came together. There wasn’t that petty bullshit of cliques and drama. At least none I’d seen.
It was a pleasant change from high school, that was for sure.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I glanced over at Rita. She still had her eyes closed and her head back, but as if she sensed me looking at her, she opened her eyes and made eye contact. “Cause I won’t stop bugging you.” She grinned.
I snorted. “That’s the truth.”
She playfully nudged me. When I didn’t respond right away, when I felt my cheeks heat, I saw the way her mouth parted in an O, as if she’d read me like an open book.
“Oh my God,” she said slowly, her voice low enough that only I could hear. “You finally got with Pope, didn’t you?”
When I didn’t say anything, but felt the smile spread across my face, her eyes widened and she looked around, as if she didn’t want anyone to hear this conversation. She looked more excited than I felt.
Rita glanced back at me, her mouth still opened slightly in surprise. “I got to say, it’s about damn time.”
I nodded, agreeing with the sentiments completely.
“So, how was it? Incredible? Mind blowing? Soul shattering?”
I laughed softly and shook my head, but the truth was it had been all those things and more. I sobered a moment as I thought about what I felt for Pope, how what we had done wasn’t just an exchange of physical gratification. We’d shared our bodies, our souls. We were one and the same, two halves of a whole.
It seemed so incredibly cliché when I thought of it like that, but if I hadn’t felt it, experienced it, I wouldn’t believe it was my reality.
“It was perfect, Rita,” I finally said after I’d been quiet for so long. “I’ve wanted to be with Pope for so long, loved him for that same time. But I guess I was afraid, unsure of the repercussions of being with my brother’s best friend.” At the thought of Jonathan, my throat tightened.
He’d be so happy for me, I knew it. Hell, if he were still alive, he’d probably be the one to push Pope and me together. He would’ve seen how much we cared for each other, told us we were stupid for trying to fight it.
I rested my head back on the brick wall and listened to Rita talk about how happy she was for me, how excited she was that we’d finally gotten together. Although I listened to her, the truth was I was lost in my own little world, my fairy tale.
I’d finally gotten my happily ever after.
Pope
I laid a blanket on the ground, helped Mia down, and then took my place beside her. For ten minutes we just lay there, staring up at the stars, listening to the sounds of the night around us.
Crickets chirping. An owl hooting. There was the occasional sound of the leaves rustling as the wind picked up, of a car driving in the distance. It was a reminder that there was a world right outside of our little bubble.
It was perfection, and all I kept thinking was how I was the luckiest bastard in the world to finally have the one woman I loved in my arms, and my life. I knew she’d always be mine, and that was now my reality.
I wasn’t worried about what people might say, how their confusion might be twisted into judgment. I’d been in her life for so long that I was seen as family to them, but it made no difference. I loved her and she loved me. We could face anything together as long as we were at each other’s sides.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the sky this clear before, the stars this bright.” Her voice was soft.
I had my arm around her shoulder so she was slightly propped up, her body turned a little bit toward me and her hand resting on my waist. The ground was hard and uncomfortable, but having Mia pressed up against me, all I felt was happiness, pleasure. I could’ve been lying on fucking knives and I wouldn’t have felt a damn thing but her body pressed against mine.
“What are you thinking about?” I said softly, wanting nothing more than to hear her voice, that melodic tone that calmed me but also inflamed me all in the same breath.
She was silent for a moment, the tips of her fingers running over the edge of my T-shirt, lightly moving against the small swatch of skin exposed from the material riding up.
“I’m just thinking about how much time we’ve wasted, and how I’m glad that we finally found our way to each other.”
I tightened my arm around her shoulders and brought Mia impossibly closer. “Me too, baby. Me too.” I stared at the stars, wondering how Jonathan would feel if he were here, if he’d approve of me being with Mia.
“I know he would.”
I shifted so I could look at her. I hadn’t realized I’d said those words out loud.
“I think he’d be happy for us, that he’d want us both to be happy, especially if that meant being with each other.”
“Yeah, I think he’d be happy for us too.”
We sat there for another twenty minutes, neither of us speaking, but nothing needed to be said. The silence was comforting.
I could’ve stayed there forever, just holding her, remembering all the times we’d been together, the lost moments where I could’ve told her how I felt, held her just like this. But I couldn’t go in the past. I could only focus on the future, and that was making sure I made Mia happy, that she never wanted for anything, and that I never took this for granted.
And I never would.
She was right; we’d wasted too much time already. But we had all the time in the world.
We had forever.
Together.
Epilogue
Pope
Five years later
I opened the front door, immediately tossed my keys into the little ceramic bowl on the entryway table, and realized I heard ... nothing.
Not the sound of Mia in the kitchen, not the sounds of Dina running around. I didn’t even hear the click and clack of dog nails from Ruby as she hauled ass toward me.
I closed the front door and just stood there for a moment listening.
“Mia? Dina?” Usually when I got home from work, Mia was close by and our three-year-old daughter, Dina, came rushing toward me to give me the biggest bear hug imaginable.
But no one was around.
As panic started to settle in, the protective instinct in me rose up. I first checked the kitchen. Then I checked the living room. I hauled ass upstairs but didn’t see anyone there. Only place left to look was the backyard.
The closer I got to the deck door, the more relief settled in when I heard Dina laughing and Ruby barking playfully. I opened the door and stepped outside, the sound of sizzling meat on the grill, the scent of it cooking, surrounding me.
Mia sat on a lounge chair with her legs kicked up, her feet crossed at the ankles, and her little red painted toes moving back and forth as she hummed softly to whatever she was listening to through her earbuds. But I could see one wasn’t in, a motherly act she did so that she could hear Dina.
For a moment, I just stood there and watched her, happiness settling in me, contentment filling every inch of my body. The neighbors had the sprinkler going, the rhythmic sound telling me summer had come full force.
“Daddy,” Dina said and ran up to me, her little arms and legs pumping as she scaled the steps of the deck and launched herself in my arms.
Ruby was right behind, Dina’s unofficial protector, always following her no matter where she was.
I picked my little girl up in my arms and looked over at Mia, seeing her look over at me with a big grin on her face, the oversize sunglasses making her look like Jackie O. Her dark hair was piled up in a bun on top of her head, the little tank top she wore accentuating the womanly curves of her body.
Dina squirmed to get down and I set her on her feet, watching as she ran back over to the swing set. I watched her for a second before I walked over to my wife and picked her up off the lounge chair, holding her close and burying my face in the crook of her neck.
She smelled sweet, that lemony, cotton scent that drove me absolutely fucking insane.
“I was worried when you guys didn’t greet me at the front door,” I said, having gotten used to the welcome home reception since before Dina was even born, from the time we first bought our house.
“I’m sorry. Dina was screaming to go outside since this is the first nice weather we’ve had.” She pulled back and tipped her head to look at me, a smile on her face, my reflection in her sunglasses.
Mia and I had gotten married just a year after we’d become official. I’d sure as fuck wanted to do it sooner, but finishing school first was important to her, and what she wanted was important to me. Then Dina came along and the rest was perfect, happy history.
“The truth was, I wanted to do something real special for tonight.”
I leaned in and kissed her on the lips softly. “Yeah?” I murmured, feeling my arousal rise.
“Yeah,” she said and grinned, and I felt the tilt of her lips against mine.
“What did you have in mind?”
She pulled off her sunglasses and the way the sun hit her face had her eyes looking like the lightest blue I’d ever seen.
“It isn’t that kind of surprise,” she said and chuckled. She took a step back and I reluctantly let her, my arms falling back to my sides as I lifted a brow.
My curiosity rose as I watched her reach into the front pocket of her shorts and pull out a little white stick, the pink cap on it catching the light momentarily. My heart jumped to my throat when I realized what I was looking at. I actually lifted my hand to place it over my chest.
“Is that…”
She nodded before I could finish. She handed it over and I took the little stick, my hands shaky as I looked down at it. Even with the glare from the sun, I could read a little digital screen perfectly.
Pregnant.
My knees about gave out, my big body leaning against the railing of the deck. “Mia, baby,” I said, my throat tight with emotion. I glanced up at her and saw she had her hands covering her mouth, the corners of her eyes crinkled. I knew she was smiling. “Another baby?”
She nodded again and came over to me instantly, rising on her toes and wrapping her arms around my neck. She looked down at the pregnancy test. We’d been trying for the past year, and if I were being honest, I was starting to worry that there were issues, especially since she’d gotten pregnant so fast with Dina.
“Another baby,” I said and felt my grin spread. I probably looked like a fool but I didn’t fucking care. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled Mia in close. Dina came running up the deck steps, Ruby right behind her.
“Daddy, Daddy,” she shouted and jumped up and down in front of me. She grabbed the test out of my hand and looked down at it with curiosity written on her face. “What is this?” Her little voice was curious.
“That just told us you’re going to be a big sister, baby girl,” I said and picked Dina up. I held her with one hand and had my other arm wrapped around Mia, both of my girls close.
While Dina squealed about being a big sister, telling us what she wanted the baby to be named, and demanding it was a little boy, all I could do was think whoever was watching over us had blessed the hell out of me.
I was one lucky bastard to have this kind of life.
The End
BIG
By Jenika Snow
www.JenikaSnow.com
[email protected]
Copyright © January 2020 by Jenika Snow
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Cover Model: Jeff Button
Image provided by: Wander book club
Cover design by: Lori Jackson Design
Editor: Kasi Alexander
Content Editor/Proofreader: Kayla Robichaux
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This literary work is fiction. Any name, places, characters and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or establishments is solely coincidental.
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They called him Big for more than one reason.
Big
I had everything I could want in life. My own career, a house with property, and respect in my community.
But what I didn’t have was her.
Landry. Owner of the town’s cleaning service.
For five long years, I’d pined after her. I watched her from afar, thought only about her, hell, fantasized about Landry when I was alone. And for five years, I’d stayed celibate, because Landry was the only woman I wanted in my life in every way.
My self-control when it came to her should have won me a medal, but that tightly reined in desire had slipped and I was done holding myself back.
So I told her I needed her help—her talents in making my place livable. What she didn’t know was it was just to get her to my place, to tell her, show her she was always meant to be mine.
Landry
When I realized it was Big who wanted my services, I didn’t know if I could go through with it. I loved him, had for years, but I was inexperienced in all things romantic, so being honest and just telling him how I felt wasn’t an option.
But when I found myself in his home… with him watching me, I knew I’d fail miserably at trying to act like I didn’t want him.
And when things come on hard and fast, I know there’s no going back. I’m about to give Big every part of myself, including my virginity, but then again, I know that’s what he wants.
Me, in his life, as his. Forever.
Chapter One
Big
They called me Big, because of my size. But also because of what I was packing between my legs. It wasn’t that I went around showing my cock to everyone or that I even slept around. It was because I’d gotten the nickname in high school, when, on a dare for charity, I streaked during a football game, my family jewels on display on the big screen.