by Hazel Grace
I grin. “You’re saying that because you’ve been running around.”
He half shrugs. “Or because I finally got to kiss the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Take your pick, Bases.”
“I’ll stay, if you want me to.”
His lips quirk. “Okay, good.” He takes a step away from me, walking backward toward the dugout. “Don’t pawn off that ring or I’ll really fuck you, Bases.”
Geezus.
Present day
Waking up with Sawyer cuddled up against my side and drooling is the best waking moment of my life. Her red hair is sprawled over her pillow while my arm is being used as her secondary resting place. The sunlight beams off her naked back, exposing a freckle here and there that I never remembered before. She looks like an immortal, a woman that shouldn’t be laying next to me in this bed because she’s too perfect, wrapped in white sheets and glowing in the morning sun.
I continue to stare at her like the decade old obsession that she is and silently grieve the time that has passed. The rash decisions that I made and the naive trust that she had placed. We were both so young, so stupid, so in love—a perfect combination to tear us apart. I asked her to trust me and, in return, I never gave it back. I left her like I abandoned everyone else, as though she was everyone else.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
While I loved Annabelle, her spunk and free spirit, the way she used to pick off my plate and wear my socks because she couldn’t find a matching pair of her own.
Yet, it wasn’t the same.
The love I had for Annabelle didn’t brim my heart the way it did with Sawyer. There was no fixation, which I’m figuring out is how I love, apparently. Annabelle served, I hate even saying it to myself, second place for me in my vital organ that seemed to only beat normal and unsteadily with Sawyer.
Nevertheless, I was blessed and honored to even be allowed time with Annabelle, just to break down and explain to her that I couldn’t follow through with our many plans. And just like I knew she would, Annabelle cut me off because she’d never beg me to come back. She always believed that if someone walked out of your life, they were meant to.
“You’re still here,” Sawyer groans softly next to me. I glance down at her, yawning and stretching her arms, the bedsheet unfortunately still hiding her tits.
“Isn’t that my line?”
Her mouth twists. “Not when you’re in my bed.” I lean over, caging the other side of her body with my hand, and press a kiss to her lips. Her body softens against mine as she opens her mouth to take me deeper.
A feral moan comes off my lips, and I palm her breast, flicking her nipple with my thumb. We’re not going to fuck again without me finding out how she feels about last night.
Even though we’ve fucked twice.
“Why did you decide to teach History?” I ask her, my lips falling to her chin and down her throat.
I feel her swallow. “I’ve always liked history.”
Slithering down her body, I use my tongue to make a line down her chest and in between her tits. “It wasn’t because you missed me?”
She snorts. “No.”
I lick one of her nipples. “Are you lying?” Her body arches into mine, searching for friction.
“Will you make me come if I tell you the truth?” she counters.
Geezus Christ.
I press her breasts together and take turns on both nipples, licking and sucking when her body starts to shudder under mine.
“I’d love to make you come,” I confide. “Until you answer the question.”
“I did miss you,” she breathes. I slide down to her stomach, making my way to her pussy so I can get every single answer I’ve wanted for years out in the open.
Thank, fuck, we never got dressed last night.
“How many guys have you been with?” She swiftly jerks up on her elbows and peers down at me with a scowl.
Yes, I’m a jealous asshole.
And, yes, I’m doing it while inches away from the pussy that should have only had my mouth on it for over the last ten years.
“What kind of question is that while you’re—” she waves her hand down above her stomach.
“An honest one,” I reply, kissing the inside of one of her thighs.
“I don’t even want to think about how many women you’ve been with,” she chides. “Next you’ll be asking me for full names, social security numbers, and addresses.”
“That was my next question,” I contest, smiling into her flesh and peppering her with more kisses.
“Colson,” she warns. “You can leave now.” I crawl back up her body and hover my face over hers.
“Are you getting pissed, Bases? Because you know how much I love when your eyes turn a darker shade of green. I’m still thinking about painting my bedroom that color.”
“You should paint it black, like your soul.” I kiss her nose.
“Now, that’s not very nice,” I snuff. “I’m a guest in your house.”
“That invited himself,” she counters. I reach for her bedstand, pulling open the drawer to grab a condom.
“Have I told you yet that I hate that you have these.”
“Condoms?” she asks.
I rip the wrapper open with my teeth. “Yes.”
“Good thing for you that I do or you wouldn’t be having your way with me.” I smile, bowing my head down to take her lips.
“I’d still have you anyways,” I remark. “I’m clean, only been with six women in the last decade since I’ve been gone. I got tested after Veronica and your sister, no offense.”
“A horrible time to bring them up, Hayes,” she chides. I hold the sides of her head with my hands so she can’t look away from me.
“Communication,” I state. “Is something we lacked back then. I’m making this clear as day for you, Veronica was a revenge fuck. Your sister...I wish I could take that one back. Her and I stopped doing shit the moment I found out she was your sister. Veronica was a shield to keep myself from falling back into your grasps. It’s not an excuse, I’m just telling you why I did it.”
“And...Annabelle, she was number four?” My chest tightens a little at the mention of her name.
I nod. “Yeah.”
Sawyer raises a brow. “Colson Hayes, from Freemont High, has only slept with six women in the last decade?”
“Correct.”
“Did you try to join the ministry when you were gone or—” I tickle her sides to get her to shut up, her body lashing in fits of chuckles and giggles.
“No, asshole, I was too busy jacking off to you for the first two,” I offer honestly. Sawyer’s body slows and relaxes as I stop teasing her with my fingers.
“No, you didn’t,” she mutters, studying my face. “You hated me after…”
I brush her hair away from her eyes. “But I was still haunted and fixated with you. To this day, no other woman’s name has left my lips since you while doing anything.”
“And you still haven’t spoken my name since then.”
“We’ve only fucked twice, Bases, and I wanted to—” Her hands land on my chest, and she shoves.
Caught off guard, I roll over to her side, and Sawyer coils over me, straddling my body.
Her wet pussy glides over my stomach, and she yanks the condom out of my hands. Reaching between her legs, she angles herself toward me, finding my dick and rolling the condom on.
“You’re going to be saying my name more than once this time around, Hayes,” she quips with eyes glistened in sin and mischief.
I chuckle. “Are you challenging me, Bases?”
I watch her straighten, giving me a full view of the curve of her hips, her torso to her generous breasts, and fucking goregous face. The one I fell in love with so long ago and I only wanted to be in her eyes.
I wanted to be the only thing she looked forward to seeing, fucking, and...I rid myself from my last thought.
We’re not there yet.
I’m not there yet.
Just because we’ve passed one barrier of finally having sex didn’t mean I was ready to lay all my cards out. As much as I’m trying to be honest and open, my heart still has barbed wire wrapped tightly around it.
Sawyer slides down me, her pussy perfectly located to slide over my cock. “I am.” Her wetness then engulfs me, releasing a throaty rumble from my chest.
She was made for me, I always knew it.
Nothing has ever been this.
The way my body relaxes and craves hers is something I’ve never felt fucking anyone else. Sawyer is magic and voltage all tied together in a pretty bow, making me bow down to her every time she even looks at me.
I’ve always been afraid of letting go, to let anyone in, in fear of them leaving me behind with a hole in my heart. But Sawyer did that, the moment I left Freemont, she stole that piece and kept it.
I just want it back.
Sawyer leans toward me, her breasts grazing my chest as she lowers her mouth to mine. “How many times have you imagined me like this? Riding your dick while my lips are on yours?”
She impales herself deeply with my cock, and my eyes roll back in my head.
“Fuck,” I growl, starting to thrust inside her deeper and fast. “I’ve imagined us in a lot of different scenarios, Bases.”
A pleased moan escapes her lips. “I’d like to explore all of those before we’re done.”
“Done?” She nods, placing her palms on my chest, and straightening her back to roll herself onto me with her eyes closed.
Done?
I lean up and clasp her neck, pulling her back down toward me while I slow down my pace. “Done with what, Bases?”
She gives me a lazy smile along with a slight shrug. “This.”
“This?” I furrow my brows.
“Who knows how long we’ll last this time and—” I revolve her onto her back and reinsert my dick inside her, giving her two pumps to tease her with.
“You still with Jake?”
“No.”
“Dr. Pussy-Whipped?”
A line forms between her eyes. “Myles?”
“Don’t mention another man’s name in this bed, Sawyer,” I growl.
“You just did.”
“I’m heading the conversation.”
“I’m not with anyone.” Like a rabid animal, I attack her mouth. I want to suck every single man who has looked, touched, or even fantasized about her away.
I hate knowing that she was with someone else. That when I came back home she could have been married or with a child, moved on without me while I still stir in the past of what we had and lost.
I start thrusting back into her, wanting to hear my name off her lips. To remind her who’s inside her and giving her pleasure to the point where she can’t remember Jake or anyone else.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be done with you,” I voice between kisses. “Fucking you is never going to get old.”
Her fingers dig into my shoulder blades as I clench my eyes, feeling my buildup start to form.
“I don’t think I heard you loud enough last night, baby,” I convey. “Remind me again.”
Sawyer moans, reaching up to capture my lips, but I pull from her. Her eyes open, glazed over in frustration and pure ecstasy, and yes, this will never get old. She arches her back off the bed, letting me get deeper into her silky warmth.
A curse leaves my lips again, I’m so far gone with this woman. I’m going to come so hard just in thought of having the woman I’ve longed for, for so long, moaning and asking for my dick inside her.
“Ugh, God,” Sawyer stutters, her mouth agape.
“Not quite, but close.”
Her eyes open, locked onto mine. “Fuck me hard, Colson, I’m going to come.”
My body immediately goes into overdrive, pounding into her sweet body like it’s my job. Like I trained my whole life to give this woman pleasure and hear her soft demands. I’m still smitten with her, I’d do anything she demanded with no fucks or questions asked.
God, I’m so fucking gone with this female.
“Colson,” Sawyer shutters underneath me as I clasp onto her lips with mine. Swallowing her pleasure and my name off them.
My dick is so fucking hard right now that once her tongue touches mine, I lose it. Pumping into her like she’s my life line keeping me alive in this moment as I come down from a hazy aftermath.
I pull her with me as I roll off her body, holding her tightly to my chest. No words leave either of our mouths because we don’t know what’s happening, what this is, or where we go from here.
All I recognize is that I can’t leave this bed or her right now. I won’t be able to function without talking to her or being able to fuck her again whenever I want. I understand that the only way I can be happy and content, is if she’s by my side and only mine.
Only mine.
How many times have I spoken those words to the both of us? And how many times has fate handed us a deck of cards to deal us out of happiness? I’m not sure how or why we’re victims in this little game of whatever we are, all I can make out of it is that the odds have always been against us.
We’ve fought against and for each other. She was my enemy, who turned into something else altogether, and that revolation wasn’t something I could ignore anymore.
While my heart is still mending, Sawyer is the only one who can put it back together. The only human that can break it and fix it.
Problem is, I don’t know if I can find it in myself to be so vulnerable to the point where I can trust her to do that.
Ten years ago
“There’s a scout coming to Friday’s game,” Coach tells me, leaning back in his squeaky chair that looks uncomfortable as hell. The leather is ripped and cracked, a small hole of foam appearing by his right shoulder. “I got you, Gavin, and Zachary’s name in their ears right now. How are your grades, son?”
“Good, all As and Bs, Coach,” I reply, squeezing my knees.
It’s all come down to this, the moment I’ve been dreaming about most of my life. Dad would tell me he’s proud, slap me on the back and compliment himself on how he passed his baseball genes on to me. How he taught me everything, right down to my facial expressions on how to psych a batter out.
My heart squeezes in my chest at the thought of going home and the only thing waiting for me is my mother and her flavor of the week. He won’t be there in front of the TV with ESPN on and a beer in his hand. His giant smile won’t be emitted toward me because he’s fucking gone.
My biggest inspiration and cheerleader, my muse and motivator, he killed himself over a woman who just didn’t give a fuck, and she happens to be my mother.
“Atta boy,” Coach approves with a smile. “Keep it up, you’re doing good. Best player on the team.” He wags a finger at me and narrows his brows. “You tell that to anyone, I’ll deny it and suspend you a game.”
I return a weak quirk of my lips. “Sure, Coach. I got it.”
He gives me a dismissive wave. “Alright, get outta here, go home, drink a lot of water. Good job at practice today.”
“Thanks.” I stand from my chair. “See you tomorrow.”
I leave his office, feeling out of it and unaccomplished. Spending the last few years of busting my ass and, from the looks of it, it's going to pay off into a new chapter in my life. But it still feels empty and unsatisfying. While it’ll finally get me the hell away from my mom and her being a constant reminder of what I don’t have it’s just...still not the same without Dad here.
I’ve imagined this moment a million times in my head. The scouts coming to my game, the pressure it alluded as I stood on the pitcher’s mound and tried to throw the best game of my life. My dad in the stands with his buddies and our neighbors, bragging and hollering to match everyone else.
Except there won’t be anyone there that has been down this dream of mine to understand the importance of it. How much strain and weight I’ve thrown into it to m
ake it happen.
A soft body bumps into me when I round the hall, followed by an “omfph.” I step back, wishing I would’ve just mumbled an apology and kept walking.
Red hair.
Freckles.
Green eyes that glisten like a field of perfectly cut green grass on a summer day out in the sun.
Sawyer.
She tucks a stray piece of hair that’s fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear, a soft smile appearing on her tan skin in my direction.
“Hey.”
I nonchalantly blow a breath out with my cheeks and shove my hands inside my sweatpants’ pockets. “Hey Bases, what are you doing here?”
And how the hell do you still look so damn good when we just got crucifixed in practice today?
“I overheard Coach Gordon talking to Anderson about the scout that’s coming to your game Friday, and I just...I just wanted to wish you luck. I know how important it is to you.”
I don’t know what to do with myself for some reason. I’m antsy, I want to just go grab my stuff out of my locker and take a drive in my truck to clear my head.
“Yeah, thanks,” I utter, avoiding the way her T-shirt clings to her tits or the shorts that show off those legs.
“You okay?” she presses, taking a dangerous step closer to me.
Nope. Definitely not okay.
“Yep, fine,” I reply, inching very slowly away from her, hoping that she doesn’t notice. She does, of course she fucking does, because her brows start to descend.
It’s not that I don’t want her closer to me, I do. I really do. But here’s where a line is about to be crossed, well, I’ve been stepping over it. Especially the day I gave her Dad’s ring.
I don’t know why her trust means so much to me. Maybe it was because she’s a genuine person, and I needed that sort of thing in my life. Mom gave two shits about baseball, never asked about it, only told me to make sure I locked the door on my way out and don’t hit her car in the driveway. I could come home at the butt crack of dawn and no fucks would be given from her direction.
But now, things were becoming real, scouts were scoping out players to build up their college teams and win championships. My ambition was within my grasp, and Sawyer...she’s becoming a reason why I don’t want to leave.