Samantha smiled.
Anders practically collapsed into a seat and groaned; his legs were aching and his muscles were already starting to stiffen. He dared to glance at Jager who was halfway through his next beer already. This was not going to end well. He could feel it. His intuition told him to leave now before one of them said or did something they regretted, but he swallowed it down.
As the hours flew by, the words that had gone unsaid between Anders and Jager about all that had happened, thickened and grew until there was a palpable tension in the air.
But they had been mates for fifteen years, surely what happened between him and Neve could not possibly be big enough to come between them.
Today’s game was forgotten in the lateness of night as alcohol slipped through Anders’ veins like a salve—numbing him to the disappointment. With his team, they sang, laughed and spoke about their latest exploits.
His head was swimming. His muscles no longer even ached as he went to the bar for another beer. Each time he stood, he could assess how drunk he was. Judging by his zigzagging path to the bar, he was almost pickled.
The heater inside was a little too hot with all the warm bodies and drink, so he carried his next beer outside. He needed a break from it all—some time for drunken contemplation. Mostly, he missed Neve. He wished more than anything that tonight, he was going home to her soft, giving body.
He went around the side of the clubhouse away from the smokers and leant back against the cold bricks of the building. The fresh, chilled air filled his lungs. His overheated body cooled and his head cleared—as much as was possible after the amount he’d drank.
His attention turned upwards to the immense night sky overhead. Little pinpricks of stars glinted against the film of blackness. Such distance and space, and yet he felt cloistered by all that was happening around him, as though his big world was slowly shrinking towards something he could no longer even recognise.
‘Mind if I join you?’ came a female voice.
He baulked, his brain turning that voice into Neve’s. His heart warmed to think she was here and willing to speak to him, but when he looked, it wasn’t Neve but Samantha.
It took all his control not to let the devastation show on his face. ‘Um, sure.’
She smiled and nestled in beside him, her arm and hip pressing against his. He closed his eyes, trawling through his alcohol-muzzled mind for some semblance of a conversation he could have with this woman he barely knew.
‘Pretty night,’ she said. ‘I’m always awed by the way the sky looks out here in the country. The stars are so bright and present.’
He nodded. ‘Sad to say, but I think I’ve taken that for granted.’
‘A stint in the city would soon change that.’
‘So how’s your stay? Not missing the big smoke just yet?’
She shook her head, her top teeth grazing her bottom lip. ‘This town seems to have everything I want.’
He didn’t miss the innuendo behind her last comment. Under normal circumstances, he might find it flattering. But all she did was remind him of who he wasn’t with and who he ached to be with right now. ‘Um. Samantha, I’m not … I’m not looking to get into a relationship right now.’
She smiled as she glanced up at him. ‘I’m not asking for a relationship.’ Her hand drifted to his waist and she pressed her chest to him as she came to stand in front of him. She took his beer, placed it on the ground, and reached for his jeans button. ‘Maybe a blowjob for a start,’ she whispered.
Fuck! He moved her hands away. ‘Samantha. No. I’m not interested.’
She tried again. ‘I’ve never heard any man say no to that before. I promise I’m very good at it.’ His top button snapped open, and she started on his zipper.
Memories boomed in his head. Heavy breathing in his ear. Pressure at his back. Rough hands on his body.
He flicked her hands away with more insistence this time and attempted to button his fly back up. But her fingers were there again. As he turned, looking for an escape route, he spotted Jager about five metres away, glaring at him.
‘Shit,’ he hissed. ‘Samantha, just fucking leave!’
She lifted her hands, took two steps back. ‘Fine. Geez. You country boys are hard to figure out.’
Jager made his way towards him while Samantha strode away.
‘It’s not what it looks like,’ Anders said, finally getting his button sorted.
‘Keeping it classy, Anders. Good to see. A blow job behind the clubhouse. You have reached a new low, haven’t you?’
‘I came out here for some space. She followed. Nothing happened.’
‘Why the hell would I believe a single word that comes out of your mouth?’
He lowered his gaze and sighed. He didn’t have an answer to that because, all in all, he had been lying to Jager for the past few weeks.
‘Didn’t I just find my sister at your house, her clothes all over the floor, barely a week ago? Have you no respect? I thought I knew you, Anders, but I honestly don’t know who the hell I’m even looking at right now. Who is this guy who lies to my face, screws my sister, then moves on as though she meant nothing?’
‘That’s not what happened. I’m sorry I lied to you. We thought it best to—’
‘Not let her brother find out because he’ll know what a sneaky, using fuck you are.’
Anders sighed. ‘Look, if that’s how you feel about it, obviously nothing I say is going to change your mind.’ He went to leave, but Jager pushed him hard in the chest, and he staggered backwards. How he managed to stay on his feet was beyond him.
He lifted his arms up, fingers splayed, to let Jager know that he wasn’t going to fight over this. ‘I’m heading home. We’ll discuss this tomorrow if you want.’
Jager shoved him again, but he was ready for it this time and barely budged. ‘I’m not going to fight you.’
‘You’ve got no fucking choice,’ Jager yelled and swung his arm. Anders weaved and managed to dodge the main impact of the punch, Jager’s fist grazing his ear.
Jager swung again with a left hook and collected Anders’ jaw like a solid brick. His head flung to the side, ears vibrating, brain ringing with the impact. Another fist flew at him, but he ducked and sprung forward, gripped Jager by the throat and smashed his back against the building.
He pinned him there with his body and raised his fist, knuckles clenched, ready to smash it into his nose. His breaths were heavy.
‘Fucking hit me. Do it! Do it!’ Jager yelled. ‘Do it! Put me out of my fucking misery!’
Anders’ arm strained as he fought for composure through his drunken haze. Flashes of the past flickered—his fist beating over and over again into Jonathon’s face.
He shook his head and forced himself to look harder into Jager’s eyes. So much pain and sadness existed within them.
He loosened his hold around Jager’s throat. He wouldn’t hit him, no matter how much Jager was goading him. ‘I was serious about Neve,’ he hissed, close to Jager’s face. ‘I was always fucking serious. But Neve didn’t feel the same. I never disrespected her, ever, do you hear me? In the end, she didn’t want me!’
He gave a final shove and Jager slid down the wall until he was sitting on the grass, chest heaving.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you. I hated every second of it. But what Neve wanted from me meant more.’
Jager rolled his head back so it was resting against the wall and closed his eyes.
‘I’m going home,’ Anders said, and he didn’t look back as he strode off into the darkness.
Chapter 31
The full day ahead of Neve loomed over her, and she shuddered knowing she had to get through each long hour without her mother. After a coffee and a little breakfast, she dared to turn on her phone. Invariably, there was some kind of message waiting, either on her social media accounts or texts, reminding her of her enormous loss.
But today, four days after Mum’s death, all was quiet. On
ly one message sat on her phone, unread, and it was from Anders, sent at 11.45 pm last night.
ANDERS: I know you’re hurting so much right now, but you owe it to Jager and you owe it to me to set the story straight.
Her stomach twisted. What the hell had happened?
Jager had come home late last night, sounding like an elephant the way he clanged around getting himself to bed. He was obviously incredibly drunk.
Neve sighed. Anders was right. She had to explain everything to Jager. Her whole intention right from the beginning was not to come between him and Anders’ friendship and, yet, here she was, allowing that to happen.
Jager groaned as his bedroom door creaked open. When he slowly made it into the living room, his hair was sticking up at all angles and his eyes were bloodshot.
‘You look like shit,’ she said with a giggle.
‘I feel like shit. Worse than shit,’ he said, palm pressing to his forehead.
She jumped up from the couch. ‘Let me make you a coffee.’
‘Oh my god, yes, please. You’re an angel.’
She set about fixing him coffee and one for herself.
‘Big night?’ she asked, handing him his cup and taking a seat on the couch opposite him.
He nodded, sipped at the coffee and moaned. ‘Tried to drown all my sorrows. Wish I hadn’t now.’
‘It always seems like a good idea at the time.’
‘I missed the final goal,’ he said, guilt flickering across his face.
She nodded, frowned. ‘I heard that. I’m sorry. Maybe under better circumstances …’
He shrugged. ‘Maybe. Can’t be undone now. Except for me constantly replaying it in my mind. In a morbid way, it’s a good distraction from what hurts more.’
Neve’s heart squeezed to hear the pain in his voice. ‘Who would have thought that losing the semi-final in the dying minutes could be the better option?’
He sipped at his coffee again, eyes closed. ‘I don’t want to talk about it anymore. All I did was bloody talk about it. Everyone kept bringing it up, telling me it was fine, that they didn’t care. But I had to sit there and see their frowns of disappointment at every other moment.’
‘They had many opportunities to get you guys into the lead before that.’
A small smile flittered on his lips. ‘Yeah, that’s what Anders said.’
Every time she heard his name, she experienced a deep bodily throb; it felt a lot like regret. ‘He’s right.’
He shook his head and lowered it into his free hand. ‘I had a fight with him last night. I’m not proud of myself. It got ugly.’
Neve gasped. ‘I was wondering what happened. Though, with everything going on, I shouldn’t be too shocked. Kind of felt inevitable.’
He shrugged. ‘Maybe it was. He infuriated me. I caught him outside of the clubhouse with a woman.’
All the air streamed from Neve’s lungs. Her heart picked up pace, beating hard against her chest. ‘He was with someone else?’ Her words were weak, mouth dry.
Jager shook his head. ‘No, he wasn’t. I mean, he was out there with her, but nothing happened. I made assumptions and I turned feral.’
She swallowed hard. ‘What was he doing out there with her?’
‘Nothing. She was trying to come onto him. He wasn’t having a bar of it.’
‘And you know this how?’
‘Because that’s what he told me, though I didn’t believe him at the time. But his story checked out with Samantha when I spoke to her later.’
‘Samantha? Winnie’s cousin?’
He nodded.
Jealousy surged through her veins, catching her by surprise. ‘Well, I guess he’s available now, so he can do what he likes.’ Though, even she could hear the lack of conviction in her words.
‘Not really, Neve. Seriously, he was with you a mere bloody week ago.’
She nodded but didn’t say anything. A different type of fear was creeping through her now for the realisation that one day, he would be with someone else. And he had every right to be. She wasn’t sure how she would cope with that.
‘It doesn’t matter anyway,’ Jager said with a shake of his head. ‘Nothing happened. And I made an arse of myself.’
‘Did he tell you what’s going on with him at the moment?’
Jager’s eyes narrowed as he looked at her. ‘No. Why? What?’
She told him about what Emily had said yesterday about the farm.
Jager placed his coffee down and swore under his breath. ‘He had told me about the farm, but he hadn’t made his decision yet.’
‘We’ve all got so much going on.’
‘Tell me about it,’ he said, a deep frown slanting his lips.
‘And maybe I’m making it worse.’
Jager flinched. ‘How could you be making it worse?’
‘I got a text from Anders last night telling me that I owed it to you to set the record straight. He must have sent it after your fight.’
Jager’s eyes widened a fraction, but it was obviously too much for his headache because he winced and pressed his hand to his head. ‘Set the record straight, how?’
Her eyes stung with tears, despite her efforts to remain composed. ‘I told him right from the beginning that he was to keep our relationship a secret from you. He didn’t want to and had all intentions of telling you, but I asked him not to. I thought if we kept it a secret then when it ended, you would still have your friendship.’
‘When it ended?’
She frowned, the tears coming harder now. ‘I always knew it would be a short-term deal. And I let him know that from the beginning.’
‘And he was okay with that?’ Jager asked, clearly confused because he knew Anders well enough to know that he wouldn’t go for that.
‘Not really. He didn’t want to continue, but, in the end, he agreed—if that’s what it took to see me, then that’s what he’d do.’
Jager blew out a long breath. ‘He said last night that he was always serious about you, but you weren’t ever serious about him. I hadn’t believed him.’
Her heart swelled to hear that. ‘I guess, in a way, I always knew that.’
‘Why Anders? I don’t understand. Why would you string him along like that?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe I hoped that this time it would be different … I would be different. But I’m so scared to love anyone again.’
Jager recoiled. ‘Love? You love him?’
‘It was heading towards that.’
‘Jesus, Neve.’ He frowned, shook his head. ‘No wonder he was so worked up. And you ended it? Like you always knew you would?’
She held her chin higher, hiding her shame for playing with Anders’ heart like that. ‘Yes.’ But her voice cracked and tears fell down her cheeks. ‘And I know that was so wrong because he is such a great guy. The best type of man. Honestly, Jager, you had no reason to worry about him hurting me. You should have been warning him about me. I’m the one who knowingly stomped all over his heart.’
‘Maybe me being over-protective made things worse.’
She smiled through her tears. ‘It didn’t help.’
He sighed. ‘I didn’t want to see you get hurt. After Joshua, I was scared to be responsible for that. Anders is my friend. I wouldn’t cope if he hurt you.’
‘And yet I was the one who hurt him. And now he thinks the reason I’ve broken up with him is because we both think he’s not a decent human being.’
Jager winced, squeezed his forehead between his thumb and finger. ‘I can see how he might have got that impression.’
She told Jager about what happened when she went to see Anders last, where she didn’t dispute his assumption that he wasn’t good enough for her.
‘I’m going to have to apologise, aren’t I?’ Jager asked.
‘Yep.’ So would she and set the record straight with him too, so he knew for certain that not once did she or Jager ever believe he wasn’t good enough.
‘Ideally, I’d like to w
ait until after the funeral. I’m dreading it. It’s like when it’s over, this will all be real, and knowing I’m heading towards that …’ he broke off when his voice cracked.
She shuddered and rubbed her arms for warmth. ‘I know what you mean.’
‘But after how I acted last night, I owe it to him to apologise now.’
‘Probably best to get it over and done with. Can it go back to how it used to be between you two?’
Jager looked away, considering her question. All the while her stomach looped, waiting, hoping that his answer was yes.
‘I’m not sure. I guess that depends on how this talk with him goes. Maybe he’ll want to punch me in the face, for real this time.’
Neve gasped. ‘What? How bad was this fight?’
Jager shook his head. ‘If Anders had wanted to participate, I’m pretty sure he would have put me in hospital. I’ve seen him fight and, last night, I had riled him up …’ He felt around his throat with gentle prodding. When he spoke next, his words were mumbled. ‘If I were him, I would have hit me.’
Neve’s eyes widened. Here she was thinking it had been a verbal argument—not physical. Guilt twisted in her belly like a fist had gripped her insides. She pointed in the direction of Jager’s bedroom. ‘Get dressed and go and see him before it’s too late.’
Chapter 32
Anders didn’t know what to think when Jager’s ute pulled into his driveway. He went to the front door and opened it wide, double-checking it wasn’t Neve again. But when Jager stepped out, face all serious, his body tightened with residual anger from their fight last night.
He braced himself for another deluge.
But as Jager made it to the doorstep, he smiled apologetically and Anders blew out a sigh of relief.
‘Mind if I come in for a chat?’ Jager asked.
Anders nodded and moved aside to let him in. ‘Want a drink?’
‘Ah, no. I’m fine, thanks.’
Anders squeezed his eyes shut, hating how awkward this was. Friends for fifteen years and here they were behaving like they were distant associates.
He gestured towards the lounge and they both took a seat.
Meet Me in the Middle (Wattle Valley, #2) Page 20