What was happening?
What was happening to me? The idea of bondage had always made my stomach turn. Degrading a person as they were strung up to humiliate them and beat them while they were down, all the while the other person was gaining sexual pleasure from demeaning their hostage? I never saw the allure. And now that I was in the same predicament that turned me off, regardless of how terrified I was of what was to come, I found myself excited. My slit was already drenched and aching for him to take me and I couldn’t force the thoughts away. They stuck to my mind like glue and wanted more. Craved for more like a drug.
“I have been planning this for quite some time. I just needed you to slip up, give me an excuse to violate your tender flesh.” His tongue slowly glided across his bottom lip as he dragged the tendrils of the whips across my bare breasts.
Between excitement and terror, my breaths came in shaky and ragged. It felt as if my heart would cease in my chest.
“But this is what you want, isn’t it?” He swung the whip, colliding the tendrils across my stomach. I screeched out around the ball.
“You want to be used? Bent to my every whim?” The whip cracked against my ass. Tears fled my eyes, staining my cheeks as the pain radiated in burning heat.
He slowly moved behind me, dragging the whip over my damp flesh. He slid the hilt of the whip down my back and over my throbbing backside until it found its way to my puffy, damp mound.
“But this is what you have been yearning for, isn’t it?” he whispered in my ear, his hot, sticky breath on my neck as the handle wiggled its way between my moist lips, rolling against my sensitive bud, causing me to squirm and squeal around the rubber ball lodged between my teeth.
The sensation was thrilling, yet humiliating as I dangled in the air, bound by chains as my body was abused by a foreign object, all without my consent.
Confusion was consuming me. My mind screamed no, but my body begged for more. The emotions collided as he rubbed me faster and harder, my legs trembling in their chains.
“You like this, don’t you?” he growled in my ear, his body pressed up against my back, and I could feel his growing manhood pressing between my tender cheeks.
I didn’t want to enjoy it. I was fighting myself, fighting the urge to release myself to this strange pleasure. But my body was winning. Having him pressed up against me, feeling his muscles flexing as he rubbed my pulsing clit, his hard bulge nestled between my firm ass cheeks as his hands tightly gripped my hips, his fingers digging into my flesh as he held me in place…
I was losing my battle.
My body won over my mind and I let myself relish in the erotic scene.
My head flew back, resting on Julian’s shoulder as my body bucked in its chains as I climbed to pure ecstasy. A high-pitched moan rolled from my throat as my body jolted with every stroke, and in return, Julian growled, groping my hips tighter as he forcefully pressed himself against my wilting body. Pleasure rolled over me as he relentlessly abused my sensitive bud.
And then nothing.
Julian had slid the handle of the whip out from my throbbing slit just before I could reach climax. My body trembled against his as my bliss began to dwindle, my mind clearing off the haze that settled over my rational thoughts, and I was suddenly aware of his presence. I could feel his heart pulsing against my back, his breath dancing across my neck, and the pressure from his hard rod against my ass.
He was just as turned on as I was.
My thoughts begged him to stay there, holding me in his aroused embrace. The feeling of his body pressed against mine alone had my body humming in pleasure. How I yearned for him to hold me like this without the chains. I wanted him to take me, fill my aching slit with his hard rod and make lust-driven love to me.
His body tensed against me, his muscles growing rigid, and I could feel his entire demeanor had changed.
Suddenly he shoved himself off of me, letting me wobble in my confinement before cracking the whip across my backside again.
I screamed around the gag.
Any sensation of pleasure had been replaced by stinging pain.
In horror, I tried to scream his name, but he ignored my muffled plea and relentlessly whipped my back again and again.
I was left confused yet again. What had I done?! Was that not what he wanted from me? Was it not the reaction he had wanted?
What did I do wrong?!
The thin, long tendrils ravaged my body repeatedly, wrapping around my sides to sting my stomach, my breasts, my arms, my legs.
Every inch of my body was being punished, and I couldn’t place a reason.
My throat burned from screaming and attempting to plead with him, but my words went unheard, my pain and tears unnoticed. This was an anger I had never witnessed from him before. Even when he found out I had emailed Kiera, his rage was only a fraction of this.
But he wouldn’t stop. I desperately kept trying to make him hear me, to make him see what he was doing, but my voice had grown weak, strained from screaming at the rash beating I was receiving. My body was growing weaker. My mind was trying to block out the pain of his raging abuse.
A cool breeze began to tickle my damp flesh. But it wasn’t sweat.
Between cracking strikes, my blurred gaze caught glimpse of my agonized body, thin lines of crimson began trickling down the inflamed purple skin.
I was bleeding.
I choked out a final sob before darkness began to enclose my vision.
Then, all was silent. Still. The only sound was that of my feeble whimpers vaguely echoing off the stone walls.
Every inch of my body burned with fresh open wounds as I dangled there, no strength left in me.
The cuffs around my ankles fell away, allowing my legs to clack together as Julian removed my chains, followed by the loud crank of the wheel, the metal screeching out into the silence as he slowly lowered me to my feet. His fingers brushed against my cheeks as he reached around and unfastened the gag, removing it from my mouth. Saliva dripped from my bottom lip as my jaw fell slack, finally resting from its forced jarring.
Julian removed one cuff from my wrist and my body fell limp, all of my weight dangling from one wrist as my legs refused to hold me up.
The sound of mumbled profanities penetrated my mind.
Was Julian actually upset? Even though he was the one who did this to me?
I wanted to be mad, to allow my anger to consume me, and I willed my muscles to function enough to punch his face. But to my dismay, they refused.
I was too drained, too weak to react to my impulse. Not that it would have helped anyway; he was far too strong for me to take on. But the idea of getting one hit in was pleasing enough.
Julian scooped me up into one arm as the other unlatched my remaining cuffed wrist. It fell to my side with a loud slap, the muscles too tired and strained to function.
My head lolled back and darkness threatened to consume me.
I found myself wondering what had damaged him so much. I wished he could just tell me what hurt him so badly instead of taking out his personal turmoil on me. I was jumping to conclusions, but I could feel it. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, we had a strange, morbid connection. I knew deep down that something had happened to him, and he harbored the burden of pain and hate so deep that it only took a small act to trigger such outbursts. I could only pray that I would live long enough to learn the truth.
My thoughts were disrupted when I found myself being placed on a soft, cushioned surface, wincing as a warm, silky material was draped over my tender, aching flesh.
Forcing my eyelids open, I found myself lying in my bed. The sheets and blankets had been replaced and I was being coddled by a soft, silvery comforter.
A smile meekly tugged at my lips.
Movement from the other side of the room caught my weak gaze and I found Julian opening the door to leave.
Everything else had been stripped from me; my dignity, my morals, my trust. The one last power I had was to kno
w what he was thinking. And I had to know before he left.
I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try.
“Your thoughts?” I croaked, my throat sore and strained. I prayed he would answer me. Tell me something, anything, before he left.
He froze in the doorway, the muscles of his jaw twinging as he fought something back.
“I’m thinking about how I’ve failed you. My weakness and ignorance is what allowed you to make this blunder, and now I’m afraid,” he whispered, his gaze glued to the floor refusing to look at me. “Afraid this will give them reason to take you from me.”
Chapter 12
Sleep eluded me. It was impossible to move without sending shockwaves of pain radiating through my abused body. Even breathing was a feat ending in pain. I wanted to take the blankets off, to remove the pressure off of my wounds, but the warmth was too welcoming.
And Julian.
The memory of him confessing his fear swarmed my mind throughout the night. He seemed so cold and distant. I had him pegged as nothing more than a monster. But there was so much more to him, just as I’d suspected. For a brief moment, he’d let his guard down, tore away the hard exterior and made himself vulnerable to express his feelings to me.
He had feelings for me.
I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. There was no other plausible explanation. I could see it in his eyes. I’d felt it as he held me against his sculpted body that there was something more than just wanting a human pet. Why else would he try to take care of me? To have any sort of remorse after punishing me?
The punishment.
Images of him, enraged as he stuck my body over and over again, penetrated my mind, sending chills down my spine. I still couldn’t place what caused his fury in the first place, but I could only assume it was from a place of pain within himself.
Whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not, there was something about him that I was drawn to. He was dark and demeaning and, to my misfortune, a murderer. But I knew that wasn’t all he was, and for all I knew, that woman might have lived were it not for me finding them that night. Behind all of that power and animosity, he held a gentleness inside of him. Tender and sweet and loving. I could see it in his eyes, the way he looked at me with adoration. He held something more than the darkness I trembled at.
I made myself promise not to hold anything against him until I got to the bottom of it. I needed to know what his reasoning was behind it. And I wouldn’t hold him accountable until I knew the truth. Only then would I make my decision on what I would follow, my heart or my head.
The clanking of metal on metal drew me out of the pitiful excuse for sleep. My eyelids fluttered open, adjusting to the dimly lit room.
Julian had come back.
My heart fought between soaring and sinking. Part of me was ecstatic to see him, thrilled that we would have some more time together, while the other part of me dreaded what the day might entail. For all I knew, it would be another day of punishment. But the sweet aroma of breakfast filled my room, and I clung to the hope that today would be better. It had to be.
Glasses gently clanked together as he placed the metal tray of food on the table and motioned for me to come to him.
He was kidding, right?
The look on his face begged to differ.
I attempted to move my arms underneath me, to push myself up from the comfort of my bed, only to be greeted by agonizing pain. I yelped and collapsed back onto the bed, my flesh too tender to allow my muscles to function. Hot tears immediately stung my eyes and fled down my cheeks. I was just too sore to move.
The feeling of disappointment didn’t help my weakened state. I wanted to follow through, to make him happy in hopes of learning more of what was going on in his mind, but instead I had failed him, and more importantly, myself. At this rate, I would never have my answers. I would never have my resolution.
Silent sobs wracked my body, my chest heaving as I hid myself under the plush covers. I couldn’t let him see me like this, so torn and broken.
The side of my bed concaved, rolling my body against the mattress and causing me to whimper again in pain, the slightest movement ravaging my tender flesh. The covers were gently pulled back, exposing my nude, wounded body to Julian as he rolled them down to the base of my feet. Torment and agony filled his eyes as his gaze raked over me, taking in the damage he had done with his own hands.
Julian brushed my hair away from my face, using his thumb to wipe away the tears that stained my cheeks. Warmth washed over me as his tongue found the back of my shoulder, his hot breath tickling my sore flesh as he slowly dragged his tongue over one of the lash marks. Immediate relief followed.
His mouth ventured across my back, licking away all the pain that resonated there. The touch of his lips on my flesh and image of his mouth being on my body sent rippling chills coursing through me, causing my mound to pulse in excitement.
His mouth slowly trailed down my shoulders to my lower back and found its way to my tender backside, his lips caressing my delicate flesh like they had once before.
I sighed aloud as relief washed over me, my pain fading away as if nothing ever happened.
Once my back no longer ached, Julian gently rolled me over to work on the wounds still present on the front of my body. My heart trembled when our eyes met. His eyes had returned to their normal, brilliant sapphire shade I had grown to adore. They shimmered in the dim, flickering light, and I could tell he was in agony.
He looked so sad. Heartbroken.
I wanted to wrap my arms around him, kiss his soft, full lips with my own, and tell him I was okay. That I forgave him. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready to fully forgive him just yet. Not without my answers.
I gasped as his tongue traced the purple marks that were etched into my stomach, slowly licking away the pain being so attentive to each lashing, making sure all of the pain had dissipated before moving on. His mouth caressed my skin, trailing up my body. Even my energy was returning as the aching fled from his tender touch.
When he came to the lashes at my breasts, I found myself wanting more, my mind begging for him to ravish my breasts, to find my mound and take me in every way imaginable.
My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I had to keep a clear mind. I was certain he was hearing my every thought. I forced the thoughts from my mind and in hopes to distract myself from his intimate embrace, I thought of the questions that plagued my mind.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the regret hanging heavily on his words deterring me from my thoughts. “My intentions were never to hurt you the way I did. The fear of having my heart broken again made me irrational, and I took that anger out on you.”
My heart stopped momentarily in shock. He was apologizing.
What did he mean, having his heart broken again? Had this happened before?
Reading my thoughts, he decided to explain. “I once took the sister of my greatest enemy as my war prize. I kept her in a room not much different from this one and trained her as my blood slave.” He sighed heavily as if the words were too hard to bear. “As time passed, I grew to love her, which blinded me to everything else.”
“She didn’t love you back?” I blinked away disbelief, trying to imagine a woman capable of spurning Julian. I couldn’t.
“Worse. She did love me. A princess among her kind, in love with the fetid enemy of her people. Her honor wouldn’t allow it, so she killed herself.”
My heart broke for him. All this time he’d carried such a heavy burden, harboring all the pain and turmoil from his past. No wonder he was so reserved.
He cleared his throat. I watched him as his mouth descended onto another lashing, the pain immediately dissipating as his tongue slithered across my flesh.
“After she had died, I lost myself. My world began to spiral out of my control. I couldn’t handle the turmoil. That is when I came to your realm, leaving behind everything. I slept for decades, waking only to feed.”
I watched him tentatively
as he tore down his walls and bore his soul to me. “How do you survive out here all alone?” I asked curiously. “I mean, being so far away from civilization, how do you feed?”
His lips turned into a soft smile, pleased that I was being so attentive to his story. “I go into the world from time to time. I couldn’t bear the thought of having another blood slave, so I would go find someone and drink from them, just as I had the night you discovered me.”
“And now?” I asked, my nerves rattling as I wondered what his answer would be.
His gentle eyes found mine in a longing gaze. My breath halted in my chest. “I knew my life had changed after one look into your mind, Abby.”
My heart trembled at his confession.
“You were brilliant and had a… strange… yet invigorating outlook on things. Even me. Most people would hold me to human standards because I appear as one of them, but from the start, I could tell you understood I was something else, something more than what I appeared to be to the world.”
His gaze traced every feature of my face as my cheeks burned crimson. My heart was soaring, and suddenly I was no longer afraid of the man who had captured me. As it turned out, all I needed to let my own guard down was to know the truth of who he really was. His life was a fascinating, yet heart wrenching tale of war and heartache.
I wanted to tell him of my story, to let him know I was familiar with the heartache he harbored—my own battle I fought every single day. To reassure him that he wasn’t alone. But my mouth ran dry, refusing to relive my personal turmoil.
Instead my mind wandered to the logistics of why his blood healed me as his tongue lapped at my flesh again, healing another wound. What made the pain flee so quickly?
And the only way to know would be to ask.
“C-Can you tell me how this works?” I rasped in a strained whisper as I forced a change in subject. “How is it that simply licking me is making the pain go away?”
I kept my eyes closed, relishing in his touch, but listened intently, waiting for his answer.
Blood Slave (Warring Hearts Book 1) Page 8