Women are strange creatures sometimes. When we’re angry, we cry. Hell, we cry even when we aren’t. Crying is a mechanism we use so we don’t start killing people off.
Gabby stares me down, her eyes narrowing as she inspects my face. She does this until she finds what she’s looking for, then turns on her feet and walks into the kitchen to get what I assume will be silverware.
“You know, Ava, I’ve known you since we were little kids, which means I’ve seen you lie. That also means I know what your face looks like when you’re lying.”
She’s right.
When she appears a second later in the dining room, a sad look mars her features. I’m going to have to tell her what happened today, even if I don’t want to. Worse yet, I’m going to have to explain just how I found out who Mr. Serious is.
“Remember that guy I met at the bar…” I start, moving from the couch and into the dining room and taking the seat beside her.
“Oh, I remember. Mr. Serious, with his piercing eyes and lick-worthy jawline. Hell yes, I remember.” Her response makes me smile, but I’m still livid over the way Ryker treated me today.
“What would you say if I told you Mr. Serious is actually an asshole…and my boss?”
I lick my lips and watch as her expression morphs into disbelief, then excitement, and then back to disbelief. “I would say it’s time to see how far your relationship with him can take you with the company.”
Rolling my eyes, I make grabby hands at the takeout boxes and she passes one to me. “No, Gabby. I’m not going to use him to get ahead in the company. I don’t even like him, not really. He’s not the person I thought he was when I met him at the bar.” The emotions I have been holding at bay all day are on the verge of spilling out of me.
“What do you mean he’s not the same person?”
Concern fills Gabby’s voice, and I inhale a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears from coming. “He’s mean, menacing even.” My voice cracks with emotion, and Gabby’s hand reaches out across the space and rests against mine.
“Did he hurt you? I swear if he hurt you, Ava, I will cut his balls off and shove them straight up his ass.” The look on her face tells me she’s serious, and while the thought makes me feel better, it doesn’t help me understand what happened to Ryker to make him the way he is.
I shake my head, pieces of my hair escaping from behind my ear to fall into my face. “He didn’t hurt me, not like you think he did. He’s just, he’s not the same…” My voice trails off.
We slept together once. It’s not like he owes me anything. I made the choice to sleep with him without knowing so much as his name.
“Oh, sweetheart, I am so damn sorry. Tell me what happened. Did he say something? Do something?”
I bite the inside of my cheek, contemplating if I really want to get into the nitty-gritty details of what happened. “He kissed me.” I find myself reveling in the memory of his lips against mine, the softness of the kiss while his full lips pressed against mine, even while being pissed that he did it. “But it was the things he said before he did it that bother me the most. He was so hateful, Gabby. He treated me like I’m something disposable. And the worst part? He doesn’t even act like he remembers me.” Something inside of me cracks, like saying the words out loud have a harder effect on me than keeping them to myself. The tears come next, and no matter how much I swipe them away, more come, covering my cheeks with wetness. “How does he not remember?”
“Ava.” Gabby whimpers like she’s feeling my pain, her body moving without thought so she can wrap her arms around me. Her hug is warm, and it brings me a small amount of peace.
“Even though I’m mad at him for not remembering me, and for trying to proposition me for sex, I-I still want to know what happened to him to make him be this way.”
Gabby pulls away as I speak, her eyes scanning my face. “I get why you’re mad. He’s a douchebag, especially considering he doesn’t remember sleeping with you. Of course you want to know what’s wrong with him and what’s making him be such an asswipe.”
I nod, my tears finally starting to slow. “I do, because the night we made love, he was different. He was gentle, caring, and so passionate. Having a taste of that man, I want…” I pause for a second, knowing that isn’t the right word. “No, I need to know what happened to him to make him so cold.” I can’t lie to myself, or Gabby, and say I’m not interested in him, even after what happened today.
Even his hate and disdain didn’t affect me the way I know he expected. It only makes me more curious as to who the man underneath the attitude is. It makes me want to see if I can catch a glimpse of the man I shared one amazing night with.
“Do I smell Chinese food?” Marie’s voice echoes slightly as she enters the living room, her eyes landing on Gabby and me. When she sees Gabby’s arms wrapped around me and the tear tracks on my cheeks, she rushes over to us. “Is everything okay? What happened?”
Concern replaces the happiness that previously lingered in her voice, and I hate that I’m going to be the reason everyone’s night is ruined. I don’t want to be the center of attention. Hell, I don’t want anyone to care about me or my feelings. I’m already used to dealing with it all on my own.
“Everything is fine.” I smile, but I can tell Marie isn’t buying it. Her blue eyes pierce mine, and I know that look. It’s one that says, “Tell me now, or someone is going to get their ass beat.”
“Since Ava can’t seem to answer me without lying…” She glares at me briefly before directing all her attention to Gabby. “Is everything okay Gabby, or do I need to go get my prison orange on?”
Gabby rolls her eyes and snorts, barely managing to hold back her laughter. “Orange isn’t really your color, so you should burn anything you own in that color, but yes, everything is okay. Ava’s just having a hard time with her new boss, who she also happened to sleep with.” My face pales as she says the words, while Marie’s face fills with shock. Seriously, Gabby? You had to put it out there like that?
“Hold on. Let me sit down for a second, because I can’t actually believe what I’m hearing.” Marie drops into one of the cheap dining room chairs before looking between Gabby and me, waiting impatiently for one of us to continue with the story.
“Believe it because that’s what happened.” Gabby pauses briefly, letting what she said sink in before she starts again. “Basically, Ava had a one-night stand with a man she didn’t know until she showed up for her first day at her new job. Guess who her new boss is?” Hearing her say the words makes me feel less burdened by my thoughts and sadness, but I still don’t know how I’ll face Ryker every day at work.
“So, your boss is the mystery man you met at the bar?” I nod my head yes. Marie blinks before throwing her hands up in the air, a smile pulling at her full ruby-red painted lips. “And this is a bad thing why? You wanted to know, right?”
I swallow down the lump in my throat. When Marie hears what happened, she’s going to hate Ryker, and that’s the last thing I want my best friend to feel for a guy I kinda, sorta like. “I did,” I admit, “but I never expected him to be such an asshole.”
“Asshole? In what way? What’s this guy’s name? I’ll look him up and see if he’s really worthy of you.”
Her questions slam into me all at once and before I can stop myself I’m spilling everything. “His name is Ryker Winston, and he’s going to be overseeing the company after his brother and his fiancé have their first baby.”
I can’t tell immediately what is wrong, but I know something is when I look at Marie. Her expression has gone from playful to disappointed and angry so fast, I wouldn’t even believe her emotions could change at such a rate of speed had I not seen them do so myself.
Her expression goes blank and her voice is devoid of any previous emotion. “I’ve got to get to bed. It’s been a long day, and I’m worn out.” The way she closes down leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Is there something she knows about Ryker I don’t? Did she sleep with
him too? The thought makes me sick to my stomach.
“Wait, what’s wrong? I told you his name, and now you don’t want to talk anymore? Is everything okay? Do you know him?” I’m peppering her with questions in a panic, but I feel this overpowering need to ask things. Without even thinking, I’m following her to her bedroom. More questions form on my tongue, but I hold them in, wanting to give her a chance to answer the ones already out there.
She turns just out side the door and our bodies collide. As long as we’ve been friends, I can’t say I’ve ever seen so much sadness in her eyes as I do right now.
“Nothing’s wrong, Ava. I’m just tired and need some space, that’s all.” She doesn’t answer any of my questions. In fact, she avoids them altogether, and that only drives the knife of betrayal further into my chest, because I know there’s something wrong.
“Don’t lie to me, Marie!” I exclaim, and am met with a dark glare.
“I’m not lying, Ava, and I don’t appreciate my best friend assuming I am. Go away if you don’t believe me. Either way, I’m done talking about it.” She doesn’t give me a second to respond to what she’s said; she simply walks into her room and slams the door behind her, the sound of her door locking loud to my ears.
What the hell?
I stare at the wooden door for longer than I want to admit, willing it to open.
Marie knows something about Ryker, even if she says she doesn’t, and suddenly what happened today doesn’t matter anymore.
Ryker and Marie know each other, and without knowing the reason how or why, a ball of jealousy starts to roll around inside my belly while one question swirls around inside my head. What am I going to do if my best friend slept with the man I’m secretly lusting after? Or worse, what if he broke her heart or did something to hurt her?
I squeeze my eyes closed and rest my head against her door, wanting answers but knowing they’re too far out of reach.
Marie doesn’t want to talk tonight, and maybe not ever, and that scares me. It scares me a whole lot more than the feelings I have for Ryker.
Chapter Eight
Ryker
Day drinking. That’s what dreams are made of. Also, something my boss, aka Older Brother, doesn’t allow in the office. Yet, apparently he has made a rule change, at least for today. He sets two clinking glasses and bottle of Dad’s best whiskey on my desk.
“What’s this?” I question, lifting a brow.
“Something I like to call fuck-it-all-let’s-drink.” I can tell he’s stressing about something. The creases on his forehead are much more noticeable, and the bags beneath his eyes certainly don’t lead me to believe everything is perfect for him right now. I almost feel bad for being an asshole to him. Almost, but not quite.
“You don’t allow drinking during office hours, so what’s the catch?” I purse my lips, leaning back in my office chair and waiting for him to deliver the real truth.
When he doesn’t do much other than sag into the chair in front of my desk and start opening the whiskey, I know something is wrong.
“Remember when you were there for Fallon and I wasn’t? When I was a man that was too weak to know what was right there in front of me?” he questions, pouring whiskey into the two glasses he brought with him.
I exhale slowly, not wanting to think about Fallon and his happily fucking ever after with her. Reed fulfilled Dad’s dying wish, but he left me feeling off course; lost, and spiraling out of control.
“I remember. I also remember you would’ve gotten to that point eventually. You just needed a little push.” The truth is, Reed didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. He wanted Fallon, but he was too afraid to admit it to himself, and he didn’t want to fuck up their friendship since Fallon had practically been an adopted child to my parents after her own died in a car accident. She meant everything to Reed.
“Well,” he laughs, tipping the glass up to take a swig of his drink. “I’m right back where I was before, except this time, it’s being a dad that has me freaking the fuck out. I’m absolutely fucking terrified, and I can’t say anything to Fallon because she’s already worrying about so much. It will be another thing on her shoulders, and she doesn’t need that.”
Okay, maybe he really does need to get day drunk.
“Come on, Reed. You’re meant to be a dad, just like Fallon is meant to be yours. It’s in your DNA.” I take my own drink and down it in one gulp. The burn of the whiskey warms me from the inside out, but it also reminds me of the mystery woman that I sank deep inside of a few weeks ago.
Reed shakes his head, setting the glass down on my desk. He’s conflicted, I can see it in his eyes. He’s also scared and worried beyond belief.
“What if I’m not a good dad? What if I’m shit at being a husband? What if I don’t know what I’m doing and I disappoint Fallon? I’ve hurt her enough. She deserves better.” His rambling carries on, and I know if I have to listen to him for one more second, I’m going to replace the glass he gave me with the bottle of whiskey instead.
“Stop,” I order, my blue eyes meeting his. “Stop doubting yourself. Dad had huge plans for you and this company. He laid them out in the will. Hell, he practically pushed you and Fallon together when he was still alive. You’re bound to succeed, so stop your bellyaching. At least you aren’t screwing nameless women to deal with the pain.” The last part slips out before I can stop it.
Fuck me. I don’t want to be having this conversation right now, not when it’s obvious Reed needs the support, not me.
“Please don’t tell me you’re drowning yourself in women and booze.”
The sting of disappointment in his voice can’t be missed, and really, I don’t know why I care what he thinks. It’s not going to stop me from doing either. “I’m doing what makes it easier to deal with things. If women and booze help then I’m going to use them, even more so when both are more than willing.” I smile mischievously, though the feeling doesn’t last long.
“You need a woman, Ry, someone to keep you grounded.”
I roll my eyes at his condescending words. “Coming from the one who has a hard time believing he’s good enough to be with the one single woman who loves him more than life?” I raise a questioning brow. “Plus, I thought I did find someone, or at least someone that could’ve been what you’re talking about…” I trail off, dropping my gaze to the floor. Reed waits impatiently for me to continue, and I can feel the heat of his stare against my face, even as I continue to look at the floor as if it’s the most interesting thing in the room.
When I don’t finish the sentence or make an effort to do so, he finally speaks. “And? What happened?”
Jesus, why did I even bring it up? This isn’t a conversation I want to have with my brother, not today anyway. I already feel shitty enough after seeing the look on Ava’s face before she left my office yesterday, and it’s not like I can tell him about that fiasco. He’ll never understand what I’m feeling or why I did what I did.
If anything, he’ll kick my ass if he finds out I propositioned my new assistant. He won’t give a damn, even though he’s now getting married to his.
“Ryker?” Reed’s voice is hesitant, something I don’t remembering him ever being. “Talk to me. Please?” he implores. “Let me help you.”
“Help me what?” I lift my head, taking in his concerned features. I’ve seen my brother in a number of situations, his face running through probably a million emotions, but I’ve never had this particular one directed at me before.
“There’s nothing that can be done. I had a one-night stand with a woman a couple weeks ago. It was…” I lick my lips, unable to stop myself from thinking about that night. The woman haunts my dreams, just like Ava haunts me during the day.
“A woman? What’s her name? Did you get her number?”
I narrow my eyes, grabbing the whiskey bottle and pouring myself another glass. I don’t like the sudden interest Reed’s taken in my love life. The man just barely got his shit together. The last
thing he needs to be doing is giving advice.
“Yes, a woman. A very hot, very fucking sweet woman. It was the most amazing sex I’ve ever had, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, but when the deed was done, I fell asleep with her in my arms. Then, because I was drunk as hell, I didn’t get her number or her name before she snuck out on me.” I growl in frustration, more with myself than him, before bringing the glass to my mouth and pouring the brown liquid down my throat.
Then, I notice he’s smiling. Like full-on, creepy clown, grinning. The look on his face pisses me off more, and I glare over at him.
“Why are you smiling like that? You look like a jackass.” Maybe not a jackass, but definitely a Chester Molester type.
Reed’s smile changes into laughter that fills the room. “You are so fucked,” he tells me, shaking his head. “You may not realize it yet, but you are.”
I have to force myself to keep both hands around my empty glass instead of crossing my arms over my chest and pouting like a child. He must be able to read my mind because his laughter grows, until it’s echoing off the walls of my office.
“So what are you going to do? Are you going to find her?”
My eyes roll so hard I’m surprised they don’t get stuck. Did he not just hear me say I didn’t get her name or her number? “How am I supposed to do that? I didn’t get any of her information, remember?” My agitation grows, and I slam the glass down on the table before I stand, running my hands through my hair and pacing from one side of my office to the other.
“I’ve never seen her in that bar before, so it’s not like I can just hang out and hope she comes back in. I’m not sure I would recognize her if she did.” I’m so pissed off. Pissed at myself, at the situation, at Reed for making me tell him about it. Okay, maybe he’s not actually making me tell him, because I need to talk to someone.
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