She knew Steve’s job had the potential to bring them great material wealth and status. In addition, he clearly loved what he did. She was proud of his new position as a junior partner, and she was happy that he was thriving in an area of personal interest to him. But she yearned for the early days of their relationship when he seemed like he couldn’t get enough of her, when she was his focus and passion.
Michelle looked in the mirror. Running a brush through her hair, she quickly applied some makeup. Meanwhile, Max was putting on his own act of impatience, rubbing against her legs with all of his weight and crying like he hadn’t eaten for a week.
“Okay. Okay. I hear you. Just give me a second,” she countered, finishing her mascara and nearly tripping over him as she turned to leave the bathroom. “Watch out, you little rascal,” she chided, scooping him up and carrying him down to the kitchen.
After feeding Max and making her coffee and toast, she sat down at the breakfast nook with her journal. The start of each new day was always the hardest part for her. Knowing that she wouldn’t see Steve for at least ten hours and not sure how she’d fill her empty day, she felt particularly displaced and homesick.
Trying to distract herself, she began a one-way conversation with Max. “See the kitten, Max?” she asked, pointing to her drawing from class. “That’s me, looking out the window.” She paused, the gloom threatening to return. “Why am I doing that, you ask? Probably looking for my long lost husband.”
Max looked up at her and purred, content with his full belly and oblivious to her struggle.
“Well, you’re a big help, pal,” she sighed. “Trevor said to write down everything that comes to my mind when I look at this drawing. Guess I should be recording these thoughts.” She picked up a pencil and began to write:
I’m looking for companionship, that close bond of family and friends I miss from California. I’m looking for adventure and meaning. I’m looking for opportunities to grow.
Her cell phone rang and startled her from her journaling. It was Starla from The New World Bookstore.
“Greetings, Michelle! Starla, here.”
“Hi, Starla.”
“I thought I’d give you a ring and tell you about a few new books that just arrived.”
“Oh, yeah? Tell me what you got,” Michelle said.
“Some great new titles by several of Gessler’s associates. They’re out in paperback.”
“Really? Maybe I’ll come by and have a look,” she responded.
“Are you okay, dear? You sound kind of down,” Starla said.
She hesitated. “I’m fine. Just a little lonely. My husband’s working really long hours right now, and it’s kind of hard being so far from family and friends.”
“Well, why don’t you just come on down and spend the morning with me? I’ve got a fresh pot of herbal tea brewing, and we can sit by the fire and rummage through some of these new gems,” the woman offered.
“Sounds tempting.”
“Then it’s settled!” Starla exclaimed. “Come as soon as you can. Ta Ta!” and she hung up.
“Well, I guess I’m going to the bookstore, Max,” she announced as she stood to her feet and began tidying up the kitchen. As if he had been dismissed, Max solemnly retreated to the family room.
Michelle sat in the comfortable overstuffed chair sipping her tea, as Starla carried a small stack of books toward her. Starla’s motherly approach eased some of her homesickness and made her feel comfortable. The tea was deliciously spiced with cinnamon and honey, and the cozy fireplace warmed another gray day, adding to the friendly atmosphere. Michelle was glad she’d decided to come.
The New World Bookstore was becoming her favorite retreat. In addition to a sense of comfort and companionship, she could also feel adventure in the air as she dug into the books before her. Starla was right that this was so much more expansive than her upbringing.
The closest thing to spiritual matters she’d experienced was the Christianity of her grandparents. But theirs was a fundamental faith, and aside from prayer, there didn’t seem to be anything mystical about it. Mostly it just appeared comfortable and traditional, not exciting and adventurous. Grandma and Grandpa were very sincere, and she adored them, but they didn’t seem particularly curious or open-minded about expanding their horizons.
The down-home approach of her grandparents sharply conflicted with her father’s intellectualism and self-sufficiency. He seemed more willing to be open in some ways, yet he resisted anything that removed ultimate control of his destiny from his own hands. He enjoyed discussing topics such as parapsychology and self-hypnosis but remained staunchly opposed to what he termed as “blind faith” in an invisible God. It was almost like he was his own god and needed no other.
Now Michelle wanted to discover her own truth. She reveled in the freedom she had to sift through books and share ideas with Starla. The New Age material lining the walls and shelves of the bookstore beckoned to her. She yearned to explore broader horizons and discover all of her options. Somehow there must be a way to blend the self-sufficient, intellectual approach of her father and the inner peace of her grandparents with these New Age metaphysics and spirituality.
Starla eagerly agreed and seemed to love sharing her own philosophies of personal evolution. This linked Michelle with her newest acquaintance and helped her to feel a part of the bookstore patrons.
After several hours of visiting and poring over a variety of books, she decided she should get going and do some of her errands. As she was about to leave, Trevor walked in. He greeted Starla with a gentle embrace, and then gave Michelle a brotherly hug as he draped one arm around her shoulders.
“How’s my favorite kitten?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.
Michelle could barely respond as she fought the blush that was creeping up her cheeks. After mumbling something about having to run, she eased her way toward the door, thanking Starla before slipping out. Even as she walked to her car, she felt Trevor’s eyes following her. Why was she so unnerved by him?
It was nearly ten o’clock by the time Steve finally got home that evening. When he texted earlier to say that he would not be home for dinner, she’d fixed herself a bowl of soup and decided to research her dream about Trevor. As she scanned the index of Gessler’s book, she found some references to mistaken identities. This led to a section that described what she had experienced in the dream when Steve had become Trevor. She carefully read the passage.
“A change of identity from one key figure to another indicates confusion about present relationships and a sensitivity to personality vibrations. Often these images indicate inner desires and unsatisfied drives. The dreamer wants to believe that the relationships are stable but recognizes the fluctuating chemistries and is simultaneously drawn to the opposing figure in ways he or she may deem consciously unacceptable.
“These dreams rarely occur in individuals who are truly content and secure in their relationships. Thus, such a dream indicates the need to reevaluate current situations and perhaps redefine personal boundaries within the relationships in the dream. This may mean an expanded view on interpersonal relationships to allow the exploration of the opposing party.
“It is possible there has been a cosmic invitation extended to the dreamer and some past values or morals are hindering the development of this relationship. Such unhealthy restraints usually result in repeated episodes of the same dream in various settings until the dreamer either yields to the invitation and develops a meaningful bond with the opposing figure, or forces subconscious suppression.”
Michelle was trying to sort through all this. Was Gessler saying that she needed to explore some kind of relationship with Trevor, or she would keep having these dreams? And what was this part about a cosmic invitation and reading personality vibrations? It seemed to indicate that Trevor might be sending her some kind of signals. Unable to deny her feelings of attraction toward him, she was wrestling with guilt and forbidden desire when Steve walked through
the door.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said softly, exhaustion written all over his face.
She could feel her color change as she quickly closed the book and rose to greet her husband. “Hi, Steve. How’d it go?”
“We’re making progress. Hopefully we’ll have this case wrapped up and ready to present by next week. Sorry about dinner.”
Michelle gave him a hug. “No problem. Max and I spent the evening reading,” she replied, hoping he wouldn’t ask about her book. She offered to fix him some soup and he gratefully accepted.
After dinner, Steve went upstairs to go to bed complaining of a headache. She picked up her book, and opening it to the marked page, she began to reread the section. I wonder if I am putting unhealthy restraints on my relationship with Trevor, she wondered. Just thinking about him caused her face to flush.
CHAPTER TEN
The sun was shining the next morning as Michelle brushed the sleep from her eyes and stretched. A feeling of warmth caressed her as she smiled and soaked in the beautiful colors of the rainbow glittering and dancing on her walls. Starla had given her a large teardrop crystal to hang in her window, and the sun was finally teasing the radiant colors from its hidden potential.
A note on the counter by the coffee maker told Michelle that Steve would be working late again, but that he promised a great time together that weekend—perhaps a dinner at the elegant Cliffhanger restaurant that overlooked the sea.
Michelle decided that she would spend the day outdoors enjoying the clear blue skies and the brisk air. After breakfast, she dressed in old jeans and a sweatshirt, packed a few snacks, her books, and a Thermos of coffee, and headed for the beach. She delighted in the idea of a long walk by the water followed by some quiet time reading and meditating in her beach chair.
It was a short drive to her favorite spot along the shoreline. She parked her car, collected her goods, and walked across the sand toward the water. Just looking out over the sparkling blue-green water brought a smile to her face and a deep sigh from her heart.
How she loved and savored the sunshine, now that she lived in such a bleak and rainy climate. The ocean looked so majestic as large waves pounded against the rugged rocks. She could feel and smell the saltwater in the air. There wasn’t a cloud in sight, and the beach was deserted.
She set up her chair and arranged her bags and books on the towel. Then she stood tall and stretched as if reaching up to touch the very rays of the sun. Her spirit had not felt this light in quite a while. Kicking off her shoes and peeling away her sweat socks, Michelle headed toward the water’s edge. She loved the feel of the sand beneath her bare feet. It was cool, not warm like the sandy beaches in Southern California, but the soft, powdery texture underfoot made her somehow feel more connected to the earth itself.
Strolling along the wet sand near the breakers, her thoughts flowed freely, her mind wandering back to the happy days of childhood playing and making sand castles with her brother.
She thought about the first time she’d walked the beach with Steve. Three days after their initial encounter in the university library, he had invited her for a picnic on the sand. The way he thought of every detail, down to the checkered cloth napkins lining the spacious wicker basket, really impressed her. They had eaten and talked, walking along the shoreline sharing casual and intimate details about each other’s lives until dusk. She’d hated to leave that private space and time.
Since her early teen years, the beach was her favorite retreat when she needed to think. Watching the waves faithfully follow one after the other in a rhythm that only nature could orchestrate, and gazing out into the seemingly eternal expanses of open sea, gave her a broadened perspective on whatever issues or problems she was facing.
Today was a perfect day to reconnect with the beach. An occasional seagull circled overhead while she walked, but Michelle was oblivious to anything or anyone other than herself, the waves, and her ocean of thoughts. She sensed a deep, spiritual connection to the universe as she became one with the sand, the salty breezes, and the warm sun.
This must be what Starla was talking about the other day. A oneness with the cosmos. An ability to tap into that universal consciousness available to those evolved enough to recognize it. She felt a surge of euphoria. It’s a higher understanding of God Himself, she thought, as she stretched out her arms to embrace the vastness.
Continuing to meander along the shoreline, she reflected on all she had learned. A whole new world was unfolding for her as she continued to pursue her interests in yoga, meditation, and BlendTherapy.
Now she felt more a part of this world, and more a part of the small corner of the universe called Shady Cove. Her friendships with Starla, Monica, and Bev, along with the guidance of her teacher, Trevor, served as the bridge to lead her into this new understanding and perspective. Personal evolution. It was what she had been looking for, especially after giving up so much to move here with Steve.
She could see that she’d gained more than she’d lost. Much more. This move was part of the cosmic plan for her life, to open her to new and better avenues of growth. Michelle never felt more alive, more spiritual.
Spiritual. What did that used to mean to her? Going to church with her grandparents and saying a prayer at bedtime. Now she knew it meant so much more. It meant power. A power that could only be contained by the universe itself. A power that she could tap into through the psychic channels she was learning about in her class and through her reading.
And yet, somewhere in her, the little girl who had soaked up her grandpa’s Bible stories seemed a bit sad. Michelle brushed her aside and moved on.
As she turned to walk back to her chair, she noticed someone sitting on a rock close to her little encampment. He smiled and waved to her, and she squinted her eyes to focus on the figure. The cock of his head and his familiar stroll brought a quick identity to her mind. Trevor. What was he doing here? Suddenly all of Michelle’s euphoria was replaced by a different kind of adrenaline rush. She could feel her heart rate quicken.
“Hey there, kitten!” Trevor tossed the words into the air. “What a pleasant surprise to find my favorite student in my personal hideaway.”
“Trevor,” Michelle replied, fighting for composure. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“Long enough to watch you embrace the universe,” he replied with a warm, disarming smile.
She felt flustered and a little embarrassed as she thought back to her open-armed gesture.
“You are the sweetest thing to ever grace this beach,” he continued. “I love to see that childlike exuberance of yours freely expressed in here. It makes my hideout even more special to me now.” His smile melted her. “Hope you don’t mind me spying on you. It’s like watching a flower unfold its tight bud and smile up at the sun.”
Michelle giggled nervously. “You make it all sound so dramatic. I’m not sure an opening flower is a good analogy.” She paused and looked away, trying to regain her composure. “Deep inside I’m still that little kitten looking out the window.”
“Well, little kitten, mind if I join you for a spell? This day is too beautiful to be wasted indoors, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend it with.”
Michelle felt a little apprehensive, but her concerns dissolved as she observed his innocent expression and friendly smile. “Sure, why not? I’d love to have some company. It does get rather lonely at home sometimes. Besides, it would give me the chance to talk to you about that conference you were telling us about in class. I’d love to hear more.”
So Trevor and Michelle settled on her beach chair and towel, shared coffee from the only cup she had brought, and munched on cheese, crackers and apples. Trevor told her all about the Psychic Energy conference he had recently attended in Seattle and about all the pioneers in this field of New Age discoveries.
She heard much more about the healing power of meditation for all kinds of illnesses, including terminal cancer patients who went into complete remiss
ion after applying these meditative techniques.
It was all so fascinating, and she found herself leaning toward Trevor and listening in earnest as he described demonstrations and case histories that had been presented at the conference.
“You are really interested in this, aren’t you?” he asked.
She nodded.
“Maybe I should take you with me to the next conference. It will be in Idaho in a couple of weeks. Interested?”
She hesitated. “I would love to go, but what about Steve? I don’t know what he would think of me taking off for a weekend conference—”
“—with your teacher, no less?” Trevor finished for her. “Surely Steve trusts you, Michelle. Besides, he’s gone so much of the time himself. Wouldn’t he want you to do something that interests you?”
“Well… let me think about it.”
“You’re the boss!” Trevor said with a wink. “Hey, how about dinner? Is Steve working late again tonight? We could order some Chinese food and bring it down here to eat while we watch the sunset.”
“Dinner? Ummm, well, sure. Yeah, that would be nice. I haven’t had Chinese food in ages. I’m sure Steve wouldn’t mind that. He knows I hate to eat alone.” Michelle could feel a twinge of guilt, but she pushed it aside.
“It’s settled, then,” he announced as he helped her gather up all her things and carry them back to her car. “I have my bike right here. Are you up for a ride?”
Michelle looked at the beautiful gleaming black motorcycle. It looked like fun. “Okay,” she agreed. Trevor popped open a storage compartment and handed her a helmet, then grabbed his from the handlebar.
It wasn’t until they were cruising down the highway that she noticed how close to him she was sitting. The vibration of the bike as it cut through the wind invigorated her. She felt like she was flying! Leaning into a turn, she held him tightly for security. He reached back and patted her knee reassuringly, saying something over his shoulder, but his words were lost in the wind.
Out of a Dream (Sandy Cove Series Book 1) Page 8