Love Defies Us

by Stoneback, J. M.

  “Where is my goddamn diary?” I screech. I place my hands on my hips and tap my foot, trying to keep from putting it in his ass.

  He stands up from the desk and tucks his phone back in his shorts, leans down with his hands in his pockets and whispers in my ear. “I put it somewhere safe, Sadie.” His confidence wraps around me. My name sounds rich and warm on his perfect lips, like eating warm fudge on a cold night.

  “Give me my shit back! You lied and said you haven’t seen it. Asshole!”

  He grabs my half-bottle of grapefruit juice from my desk and guzzles it down, then tosses the bottle in the waste bin. “I never told you that.” He pauses for a few beats. “How would you feel if I wrote those things about you? And you found out about it?”

  I don’t respond. Guilt washes over me like a tidal wave. I shouldn’t feel guilty about what I wrote, those words weren’t meant for anyone to see.

  “I asked you a question, and I expect an answer,” he demands, and his words cause my chest to clench. I never like taking orders from anyone, but the way he says those words massages my ears.

  “I’m your boss, remember?” My words come out shaky and small.

  “Technically, but your dad writes our checks, not you, Thumbelina.”

  “Embarrassed.” I finally answer his question.

  Just shoot me now and put me out my misery.

  “I jacked off in the shower a few times thinking about what you wrote about me.” He steps closer to me, and I step back, leaning against my desk. He yanks my ponytail gently, exposing my neck, and his eyes stay clinging on my mouth. I swallow thickly and hard, and I feel my pulse throbbing in my neck. His soft and supple lips trail down my neck like soft flower petals massaging my skin. My sex becomes wet and needy. So needy.

  “I want your lips bruised and red from you sucking my dick. I want your pussy swollen. I want to fill your virgin mouth, pussy, and ass with my cum.” His warm breath tickles my cheek, and the hair on my skin stands at attention. “I’m starving for your pussy. You wouldn’t deny a starving man, now would you?”

  Then he studies my reaction; my breath hitches. I’ve never had a man to talk dirty to me and his mouth is dirtier than Flint water.

  “I guess you’ll have to starve.” I shrug. “When aliens land on our planet, then I might consider.” My voice is constricted with nervous. Not the type of nervous like when you’re about to get behind the wheel of a car for the first time. But the kind of nervous that you might get caught lying.

  He lets me go and mixed emotions dance in his eyes.

  Want.

  Amusement.

  Lust.

  My anger crashes through me. Felix should get beat up for making me feel like a lit firecracker.

  “Your father doesn’t know that you have a backup plan, if he doesn’t give you the business. He doesn’t know that you will use all your money to buy his share.” He says it matter-of-fact. I know how my father is, and there is a fifty-fifty chance that he won’t give me the business and I need to cover my own ass.

  I stand there like a statue and shake my head.

  “That’s why you’re here? To tell me you’re going to snitch on me?” I straighten my spine like a countertop and smooth my shorts.

  If he does that, I’ll find a way to get him fired. If he thinks about crossing me, I’ll fuck him up. Felix does not want to be my enemy. I’ll crush him.

  “No, I’ll do you a favor, we’ll fuck in exchange for my silence.” He flashes me his panty-dropping smile and tilts my chin to gaze into his eyes. This slick son of a bitch. He was planning this the whole entire time. Indifference courses through me. I really do want him to take my virginity. But I don’t need the distraction.

  I twist the watch on my wrist, examining every diamond that’s next to the numbers, then my eyes cling to him like sticky syrup.

  “And if I don’t agree?”

  “I’ll show your daddy this diary, and I heard your old man is cutthroat.”

  My heart claws into my throat, trying to make its way to my mouth. My father would disown me if he finds out that I want to betray him. He’ll find a way to get rid of me, that’s how much he loves his company. But I don’t believe for a second that Felix will do that. He’s just talking out his ass.

  “Go right ahead and show him.”

  His facial expression dances with coldness. Coldness that chills me to the bones. “I’m the last person you want to call out on a bluff. Do you really want to test me?”

  When I don’t respond and shrug, he says, “Your funeral.”

  My heart sinks and sinks and sinks as he steps closer toward the door. When he makes it to the entrance, I rush towards him and grabs his right arm.

  “All right,” I grit out and a victory smile plays on his beautiful face.

  “You’re a real shithead, you know that?”

  “I’m well aware of what I am. We’ll fuck until my tour starts in June.”

  “Why blackmail me? You can have any woman you want.”

  He has half of the women’s population throwing themselves at him and yet he keeps chasing me.

  He grips my chin and runs his thumb on my bottom lip. I bite down hard, and he lets out a groan. “Feisty, I love it,” he says. “Because I have this sick-ass obsession with you ever since you volunteered to be our manager. I need to fuck you out of my system.” He exhales, “Meet me at my house tomorrow night at seven. Don’t be late.” He points to the open glass window showcasing the view of Atlanta’s cityscape. “You might want to see if aliens landed on our planet.” Amusement dances on his face.

  I grind my molars together and wrinkle my lips then I toss my pink stress ball at his head. The ball bounces off the wall and rolls under the beige couch. He winks at me then leaves a trail of laughter down the hallway.

  Sadie

  I twirl my watch on my wrist and wait for Felix to answer the door. His house is something out of a Good Home magazine. A Georgian-style house designed to raise a family. To build a home. To grow old with your spouse. A place I had no business being. My future wasn’t littered with a husband and rug rats, but with building an empire.

  Two wooden rocking chairs made out of fine oak sit on each side of the red door and a porch wraps around the house.

  The door swings open and Felix stands there, looking like a slab of marble. Basketball shorts hang on his hips. He’s beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Not the type of male model beautiful but the type of beautiful that he has a uniqueness to his features.

  I suck in a breath as if I’m going underwater and my heart cartwheels in my chest. His eyes laser-beam on my dark silk sundress with the ruffles at the hem that hugs me as if I’m a teddy bear and my golden Greek sandals’ straps snakes up my calves. My oversized Tom Ford bag that’s the size of the Titanic is draped over my shoulder.

  A frown stamps his face as if he has something stuck up his ass. He didn’t say anything about not spending the night, but Felix is not the type of man to offer ‘wham bam and thank you ma’am’ to women. When he bed his groupies, he allowed them to stay overnight and didn’t treat them as if I’m a piece of meat. A gentleman, despite being a thief and a blackmailer.

  “You’re thirty minutes late.” His words dance with annoyance and he yanks me inside and closes the door behind me. My body is hyperaware of his presence. So in tune with the heat of his body.

  I made sure to be late. I’m a very punctual person and I like to arrive at events at least ten minutes early, but I want to yank his chain a little bit. I don’t want him to think I’m too eager for him to dick me down. His back faces me and the muscles are hard and thick, and I follow him to the spacious living room

  “Well, yeah, I was tied up at work.” I take deeps breaths and I try to relax my body. But I fail tremendously, my body wound up like a toy, and I bite down on my lip as my confidence dies a slow, sweet death.

  “Don’t make it a habit.” His words are brutal. “That’s one of my pet peeves.”

  He twis
ts to face me. Who the hell does he think he is bossing me around? He’d better have a big dick to match that attitude. “Leave that bossy attitude at the door when we fuck.”

  His words make my nipples pucker against the thick fabric. “Do you boss your groupies around like you do me?” My words are jam-packed with annoyance. I don’t like taking orders from people, that’s one of the reasons I want to be CEO.

  His eyes are intense and broody, and butterflies’ do backflips in my belly. It feels as if bubbles flaring in my chest.

  “I don’t have to. They don’t have a smart-ass mouth.”

  As I follow him to the living room, it’s so… him. The drapes match the color of the navy-blue walls and a gray sectional couch sits in the middle like a throne. A drum set is in the far corner and the air is suffocated with the smell of Pine-Sol. The fresh brown oak floor is so smooth that you can glide over it. Pictures of The Beatles and Queen and an oil canvas of a woman with blonde hair and tan skin hangs on the wall. This place is intimate and nurturing. It’s simple. No expensive furniture. No expensive decor that screams money.

  We stroll through the open living room to a spacious bedroom. The room is decked out with a king-size bed with the headboard carved from fine wood and it’s set so high off the ground like it’s floating in the air. Fitting. It even looks as if a god lives here.

  I place my bag on the leather chair in the corner next to the television, then I face the broken god before me. He sucks in a giant breath. My eyes trail over his tattooed right arm and hard pecs and sculpted abs. There is no way that he sits at home all day with a body like his. He must be a gym rat.

  I want to savor this moment forever. To remember everything about this beautiful man. To remember every freckle on his body. He’s truly remarkable. Slowly, he yanks down his shorts and his black boxers, and his dick stands at attention. It’s fat, long, and thick and purple.

  Panic blossoms in my chest. That dick is the size of a skyscraper. And he’s sticking that huge-ass thing inside of me? I knew it was big because a groupie leaked a photo of it on the internet.

  I stare and stare and stare as the hairs on the back of my neck stand.

  This is the first time I’ve ever been up close with a dick in person. Then his warm fudge eyes meet mine, as if he’s waiting for me to make the first move. I let out a tiny breath that’s barely audible.

  “Get on your knees.” His voice is calmer than a quiet night in October. My knees hit the gray carpet and he swaggers closer, watching me with predatory eyes.

  “I’ve never given head,” I say thickly and my mouth salivates.

  “I’ll teach you.” He grabs a fistful of my thick hair, slides his dick inside of my mouth, and he tilts my chin to look at his face. Panic ceases my chest. What if I suck at this? Or what if I accidentally bite the head of his dick?

  I choke a few times as tears burn my eyes, my jaw aches. He bites down on his bottom lip as he face-fucks me.

  “Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie,” he says my name like a sweet hymn. And my heart ping-pongs in my chest.

  A few minutes pass, and he throbs inside my mouth. Then hot ropes of cum fill my mouth. It’s thick as honey dew and taste salty and earthy. I don’t know if I should spit or swallow. Before I came over here, I watched a few porno videos that were downloaded on Jasper’s laptop. Some of the women swallowed and others spit. I chose to swallow, and the cum slowly slithered down my throat.

  My panties are soaked and my pussy throbs. I want to taste him again.

  He pulls me up on my knees and his warm lips are on my neck, sucking it like I’m a sweet tart, then I moan, and he pulls away and I die a little on the inside.

  “That’s my favorite song to hear.” He twirls me around as if we’re ballroom dancing and, slowly, he unzips my dress as his fingers trail on my back and I shiver under his touch. His touch is soft. His touch drives me crazy, crazy, crazy.

  This is it. I can’t turn back now. I’m about to lose my virginity, to my crush.

  I step out of my dress, wearing my red lacy bra and panties and my sandals.

  Gently, he pushes me forward on the bed, unlaces my shoes, and tosses them to the carpet. I peek over my left shoulder and he tears my expensive panties.

  “That cost me nine hundred bucks.” I fist the cotton black sheets in my hand, and he smirks. The bastard has the nerve to smirk, “And those were my favorite.”

  “I’ll buy you a drawer full, since you’ll be spending some nights here.” Then he pushes my legs apart, getting a good look at my sex. His fingers spread my folds and I arch my back and bite my lip hard. “When I’m done with you, I want to see the evidence, your blood on my dick, but first a gentleman always allows the woman to cum before fucking her.”

  I breathe in sharply and my heart goes haywire in my chest. I heard that the first time hurts bad. I swallow deep breaths as watch Felix grip his huge dick and take the tip and rub it against my clit. Pleasure ripples through my body. I let out a loud moan and I continue to choke the sheets with my hands. I never had anyone touch me down there, and when he does it, my clit is hyperaware and feels so much better than my fingers. He moves in circles and in the matters of seconds, I arch my back as my orgasm snakes up my head and down to my toes and electrifies me.

  “Felix, that felt amazing,” I breathe rapidly and hard.

  He smirks.

  “Are you about to fuck me in the ass?” Hope and excitement dance together in my tone.

  My eyes venture to the T.V. hanging on the wall. Family Guy plays in silence on the screen.

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m too big and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I’ve seen men on porn with bigger dicks going in the butt,” I say. “Have you ever done anal?”

  “No.”

  I hear the tear of a condom, then the head of his cock nudging my entrance and slowly sliding inside of me I feel every vein in his dick stretching me and my belly feels full, like I overate. It feels as if the inside of my pussy is being pinched multiple times. I groan at the agonizing pain.

  “Breathe, Thumbelina. I’m not all the way in, yet.” His voice is soothing as ocean waves.

  Not all the way in yet?

  Jesus, Christ.

  I take deep breaths and exhale as he slides inside of me inch by inch, and then he moves slowly and picks up rhythm, faster and harder.

  The sound of his balls slapping against my ass fill the room. It hurt and hurt until pleasure ripples through me. He digs his nails into my hips, fucking me harder and harder.

  “You hear that? That’s the sound of our music. Keep singing those high notes, show me how loud you can sing.”

  I cry out until I come all over his dick and my climax buzzes my whole body and I clasp onto the bed with my ass in the air.

  He slaps my ass hard and he fucks my pussy until it’s numb, then he shoots his load inside of me. When he pulls out, I turn around to see his face flushed and sheen of sweat coats his forehead. He pulls the condom off; light blood coats the latex and he waltzes off to the bathroom. My sex aches and is swollen and begging to be fucked again. The sound of water echoes throughout the room then suddenly it stops. Moments later, he strides towards me with eyes that says he’s not done with me. Felix Sawyer is a majestic lover. A cunning lover. A filthy lover.

  He lowers himself between my legs and wipes the warm blood from my thigh then my folds gently. It stings but it feels good and soothing as if running warm water over a sore.

  How many women has he does this with to know how to clean them so well?

  When he’s done attending to me like I’m a fragile flower, he changes his gray sheets to red sheets and we both lie there, staring at the high ceiling fan, trapped in our own thoughts.

  “I lost my virginity to my fantasy crush,” I whisper more to myself than to him. Shock greets me as if I’m an old friend, warm and welcoming. And I shake my head and my eyes analyze his face. The light from the T.V. outlines his
jaw and his facial expression is cool as a cucumber.

  “You’re welcome,” he says, and then he rolls on top of me and pins my hands above my head, nudging his dick against my sex. “I get to play with your pussy until the tour starts.” His voice is husky and hazy with sex. He says it as if he can’t believe that we just fucked. Excitement lingers in his warm eyes.

  I gasp as he slides back inside of me. “Y-Yes,” I nod so hard that I think my neck is going to snap in two.

  Then we fuck until the sun kisses the sky.

  Felix

  Women are the most dangerous creatures on this planet. They bring a man down to their knees with what’s between their legs. Pussy. It’s what we strive for every day. That’s what we think about all day. How are we going to get laid? Are we going to get laid? When are we going to get laid? But when you are a rock star, pussy is thrown at you like hail coming down from the sky—hard and fast. So you don’t have to work for it. I haven’t chased pussy since I became a rock star. And Sadie—fucking Sadie—made me work for it.

  Her pussy is delicious and mine—all fucking mine. Me chasing her was worth it.

  When I woke up this morning, she had already left. I wanted her to stick around for a few more rounds. Maybe get her to suck my dick again, and I’ll eat her pussy until she can’t breathe. But I figured she wasn’t the type to want to hang around, she’s married to work.

  When I type in the code to my old childhood manor, I slowly push the oak door open.

  I’m spending the day with my dad and I haven’t seen him since my mom’s death.

  I take off my shoes because my dad will have a bitch fit about someone walking on his precious white marble floors. And I haven’t been here in months. The faint smell of honey still lingers here, the way my mom used to smell. Her presence is slowly fading and fading.

  Memories of me running up and down the foyer and my mom yelling from the kitchen to stop lollygagging.

  Death steals everything from you. It steals joy. Death is a nasty bitch that doesn’t care where you’re at in life. She doesn’t care that you have family and friends that love you. All she does is take and take and take. And the sad thing about it, there isn’t shit you can do about it. You just have to wait until she’s knocking on your door.