I feel him throbbing, coming inside of me as he thrusts harder and harder. He flips me on my stomach, places my ass in the air. I look back at him and he grabs lube and squeezes jelly in his hand, and he rubs the cool gel of my forbidden part.
I flinch a little but my pussy throbs at the thought of him going inside my butt. My heart gallops like a horse, and panic eats at me. This might hurt really bad, but I’ve wanted this for a long time.
He squeezes gel on his fingers and slides into my forbidden part and it feels weird, then he slides another finger inside of me and my breath rapidly. Then he slowly slides in and out of me for a few seconds and then he removes his fingers.
He squeezes gel all over his dick and I feel the tip of him nudging my butt hole. As he pushes inside me slowly, I take deep breaths. It burns and burns and burns, as if someone lights a firecracker in my ass. I scream loud enough to wake the next-door neighbors. Pain chips at my spine and my legs feels weak.
“Breathe, Sadie.” His voice is gentle, and I do. He slides out of me then slides back inside. Then he keeps thrusting inside of me. And I feel his balls slapping against my ass cheeks and he feels too big for me as if a too-tight ring around a finger. Once I get past the pain it feels so good. So exposed. So intimate. So naked.
He strips my soul bare as he thrusts inside of me hard and fast.
He reaches for my clit and strokes it slowly and gently. I gasp and whimper at the same.
Several moments later, my orgasm rips me in half and pleasure electrocutes me from head to toe. My legs turn into jelly and my lower back aches. Then he makes grunting noises as his come is shooting inside of me and he collapses on top of me. He feels heavy as a boulder.
”You’re heavy as an elephant and you’re sweaty. Get Off,” I say, and I hear him laughing. Then he kisses my temple and rolls over to the side, staring at me.
”What?”
”I want to load you up with my babies,” he says, sitting up and his limp dick is coated with me. My mind finally registers what he just said.
”The way we fuck, I’m surprised you haven’t knocked me up.” Then I roll on top of him, kissing him hard and long.
“You want to have kids?”
I shake my head. All this baby-making talk is making me cringe. “Shut up and give me more dick.”
“Nymphomaniac.” He bites my ear and strokes my arm. I get off of him and toss his pillow across his face. He catches it and tosses it to the floor.
“Only for your dick. Fuck me in the Jacuzzi.”
Felix
A week before the tour…
We’re in the studio wrapping things up for our next album, Love Defies Us, that’s supposed to drop around Christmas. The studio is medium-sized with a big-ass keyboard and a sound booth. We’re at Sacrifice Records. This is where we make hit after hit.
Easton and Aurora sit on the black leather couch that’s pushed against the brick wall. Speaking in hushed tones. Azrael inhales smoke into his lungs as he leans against the wall.
“Your girlfriend has been in my ass about me smoking. What the fuck am I going to do for stress reliever?” he asks, putting the butt out in the ashtray. He has his shirt off and is wearing white cut-off jeans.
“Fucking play a video game. Shit, do I look like a hobbyist to you?” I place my sticks in my pockets. Azrael grabs his backpack.
“No. But you look pussy whipped and Trust Fund Baby has you by the balls.” His tone is smug with amusement and the corner of his mouth curls up into a smile, looking like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
I tilt my nose to him. “Shut the fuck.”
The band pack up their shit and we head to the parking lot.
I hear someone call my name as I open my door to my truck, and I turn around.
Patricia rushes towards me. I roll my eyes and take my sticks out of my pocket and toss them in the passenger seat. My dad and I haven’t had a conversation since that night at his house. No wonder he was defending Brody when Brody was fucking Mae. He was balls deep into someone else. My dad has betrayed my mom and found a sick twisted way to justify his action. I thought my parents had this fairy tale love life when reality it was complete bullshit. There aren’t enough excuses in the world to convince me to cheat on Thumbelina. I would rather die than cheat on her.
Patricia has her hair pinned into a high ponytail. She looks younger than her age. Now that I get a good look at her, she does look like Sadie. Just Sadie is shorter and looks like a younger version of her.
“What the fuck do you want?” My tone comes out harsh. But at this point I don’t give a fuck. She’s marrying my father and fucked my dad while my mom was sick as a dog.
“We need to talk.” Her tone sounds more determined than a pit bull trying to find a bone.
“You have five minutes. I’ve got to pick up Sadie,” I say out of spite because I know how she feels about us dating. She cuts her eyes to me and a devilish smirk turns up at the corner of her mouth. I don’t know what my dad sees in her. How can he not see that she’s a cunning bitch? The shit Sadie told me about her makes Cinderella’s stepmom look as if she’s a saint.
“Break it off with my daughter or I’ll ruin your life, Felix.”
Now it’s my turn to smirk at her and roll my eyes. “Is that so?”
“You and Mae had a miscarriage and you pushed her down a set of stairs to make her lose the baby.” She steps close to me and looks up at me, then pinches my cheek. It stings like a motherfucker, so I slap her hand away.
I ball up my fist and keep them glued to my side.
“I didn’t push her down the stairs, she slipped and fell.”
“I don’t care if you pushed her or not. I care about my reputation. I want to know which famous blog would like to get their greedy paws on this story.” She folds her arms across her chest and holds her head high.
I don’t say anything. She’s money hungry and she cares more about money than her own daughter. I watch Azrael and Aurora get into their own car. And Easton stands by his white Mustang, watching the whole situation.
“How much money would it take for you to keep your mouth shut?” I look down at the tiny gnome that has me by the balls.
“Stay the fuck away from my daughter. Son. Or I’ll leak to the media that you pushed Mae down the stairs. I already talked to Mae. And you know, Mae is still mad about you bringing Sadie to her wedding, she’ll help fabricate the story. The choice is yours.”
She brushes off her shirt. I hate her fucking smile. She smiles at me as if she’s the Cheshire cat. I rub the back of my neck, grind my teeth.
This bitch has got me. She’s got me right where she wants me. I sit in the driver’s seat, not looking at her.
“You think you can fucking come here and threaten me. I’ll tell my father that you’re a conniving bitch.”
“Your father won’t believe you. He thinks that you have a motive for not liking me. I can manipulate him into doing whatever I want.”
I weigh in on her words. She’s got his balls so deep in her mouth that he can’t see how she is. If I don’t break things off with Sadie and she falsifies what happened with the miscarriage, that would ruin the band’s image and career. Looking like a baby killer is worse than a male celebrity beating on a woman. Most of our women are fans. They worship us as if we’re gods. I grip the steering wheel so tightly my palms hurt. I glance back at East and he nods at me and I shake my head.
“When do you want me to break up with her?” I ask, not even looking at the she-devil. Pain burns in my chest. I keep a straight face and I’m not about to let her see that she got to me.
“You have twenty-four hours.”
I watch as she gets into her Bentley and drives off. Easton walks towards me and leans on the side of my truck with his hands tucked into his pocket.
“Was that Patricia Bennett?” he asks.
I forgot how hot it is outside until I realize sweat coats my forehead. “Yeah.”
“What the fuck did she want
?”
“For me to break up with Sadie.” I keep my facial expression stoic.
I haven’t told the band about the shitshow that’s been going on in my family.
“You need help with killing and burying a body, I’m your guy.”
I laugh at his statement. Knowing East, he’s as serious as a heart attack.
“I’m good.” I hit the start button on my truck. Then he nods and heads back to his car.
To break up with the love of my life is going to kill me. But I have to do what I have to do. In order to protect myself and the band. Five years from now, Sadie will move on. She’ll know me as her first love to break her heart and I’ll know her as the brave girl that stole my heart.
Sadie
I’m yanking drawers open and dumping all my office stuff into a brown box. Last night, I told my dad and Axel that I want to take the VP position. I’m super excited to be working next to my brother. Maybe it will repair the damage that I caused to our friendship. I was a bitch for pushing him away, to take my anger and bitterness out on him. I hear a knock at the door and my eyes venture up to Felix. He leans in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets. He stares at me like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. And he frowns as if his puppy died.
“What’s wrong?” I put the box on the floor, stalk up to him. He studies every inch of my face, then the pad of his thumb rubs against my cheekbone. A chill slithers up my spine. I have a bad feeling that he’s about to deliver some awful news.
“We can’t be together.” His tone is flat as an old soda.
I laugh lightly and shake my head. “What?”
The look on his face tells me that he’s dead serious. My hands tremble and nausea floods through my body as bile burns the back of my throat.
“If you’re worried about neglecting me when you start your tour, I told you that we can work it out. That I understand that your job comes before me, I’m no—”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with that.” He exhales loudly. “You were just a warm hole I needed to park my dick in. You were a fantasy to me. You kept the end of your bargain and I kept mine.” His words are lifeless as a dead corpse and I look down at the carpet. The blood in my veins ceases to flow, and adrenaline suffocates me. Searing pain bubbles in my chest. I don’t know what to say. I’m lost for words. I hate myself for falling in love with him. For falling for a god. Mortals and gods don’t mix; it’s not an opinion, but a fact.
He reaches into his backpack and grabs a handful of diaries that he stole from me and places them in my brown box. His shoulders tense and his jaw tics and his facial expression is of a battered dog. What the hell is he so sad about? I’m the one that gave up my innocence to him. I’m the one that gave my all to him. I’m the one that gave up my mortality to be with him.
My skin melts my bones and my heart aches and thumps against my ribcage. Normally, I would fight for something I want. But I don’t say anything. I don’t have any fight in me. And fighting for a god is something I shouldn’t do. He belongs to the world, not me. That is one of the rules when it comes to dating a rock star god. Then he leans down and kisses my forehead, and I stand there frozen in time. And I swear I hear him say “I’m sorry” before he turns on his heel and heads to the elevator. My heart breaks in two and lands on the carpet as one tear slides down my cheek.
Sadie
I open the door to my condo and Jasper sits on the couch with Anthony. Anthony has no shirt on, and his dreads hangs loosely over his shoulders. He’s thin and his skin is the color of chocolate. He waves at me and turns his head back to the TV. Unlike Stacey the airhead, Anthony is sweet and kind. I think Jasp should just dump Stacey and be with Anthony.
I tap Jasper on the shoulder and nod my head towards my bedroom door. He follows me and I shut the door behind him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, resting my head on his hard chest. He smells like maple syrup and cologne.
“What’s wrong?” His tone soothes my ears.
“Felix broke up with me,” I say, shock wrapping me up in a cocoon. “Does it hurt like this when you’re first love broke your heart? Because I feel as if I lost a piece of my soul.”
He squeezes me tight and takes several moments before responding. “It does, but the pain didn’t go away for me because I see my first love every day.”
My brain finally catches up to what he just said, and I glance at him, cocking my eyebrow. I pull away from our embrace, putting some distance between us. He stares at me as if he’s about to regret his words. Realization hits me harder than a brick crashing down on my head. And I chew on the end of my hair as nervousness flares in my chest.
“I’ve been in love with you since our sophomore year in college,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. Heat bites me on my neck and my mouth is dry. I don’t know how I feel about this.
“You never said anything,” I finally muster. “You never dropped hints that you wanted me other than when you were drunk, but I thought you were just horny.”
He shrugs and picks at the skin around his pinky nail. Guilt is written on his face as he smiles at me. “What I was saying to you when I was drunk is how I feel all the time. I just couldn’t say it to you while I was sober. I knew you never saw me as anything more than a brother. That’s one of the reasons why I keep having multiple affairs with different people. Sure, I like my open relationship but… if you were to want to be exclusive with me, I would drop Stacey and Anthony for you.” He continues to nip at his pinky nail. “I need to move on with my life. Because loving someone and not having them is like picking at a wound and expecting it to heal.”
His shoulders slump and he frowns. I’ve never seen him so sad. And it makes me feel guilty because Jasper is a good guy and deserves someone who actually loves him the way that he loves me. I wrap my arms around his waist, and I feel his soft lips brush against my forehead. The way a lover does when they are saying goodbye.
“What do we do now?” My words are small as a fairy.
“We stay friends. I’d rather have a piece of you in my life than to have none of you. But I think it’s best that I move out and move in with Anthony and Stacey.”
I nod my head slightly. I don’t agree with his decision and I want him to myself, but that would make me selfish. And I know if I make him stay then I’ll torture him even more because he’ll do it.
“I need to find Felix and kick his ass for breaking your heart.”
I laugh as if it will break up the tension between us. It doesn’t.
“Don’t worry about it. It was bound to happen. Besides, I’ll bounce back, that’s what I always do.”
My words bleed with sadness. That’s what I get for thinking that a god can love a mortal.
“You do. Before you know it, you’ll be with someone else.”
I nod, wishing that it isn’t true. Because all I want is Felix.
Sadie
Three Days Later …
I leave the conference room after signing a contract to be VP, and I’m super excited about it. My pay has tripled. Also, I get a bigger office with a bathroom and a lounge. And I get all the perks of what the CEO gets—free flights on the company’s private airline, every main holiday off, a month’s vacation. Axel hugs me. He looks dashing in his salmon shirt and white shorts.
“You want to go play golf with me and James at the country club?” Axel asks.
“Not tonight. I’m going to the bar with Betty.”
“Don’t get to drunk tonight. You have a big first day in the morning, Vice President,” he says, as we walk towards the elevator. Co-workers stroll past us, nodding their heads. A few days ago, my brother announced me the new vice president and everyone treats me different and speak to me as if they’re walking on eggshells. It doesn’t bother me at all anymore.
I bring my hand to above my right eyebrow and salute him. “Aye aye, Captain.” And I hear someone clear their throat. I turn around and Easton stands there, with his fingers tucked into his sk
inny jeans.
“What have I done to get the devil to look for me?” I ask. His eyes are dead, soulless, but his frown is wicked.
“Cute. Walk with me, Trust Fund Baby.” And I follow him to the elevators. He taps the down button and the doors hiss as they open and we both step in. He’s quiet and calm and twitches his mouth as if he’s trying to choose his words wisely. “Do you really love Felix?”
His question catches me off guard because Easton doesn’t stick his nose in other folks’ business. I half nod and lean against the silver rail. The sound of Felix’s name sends a jolt through me like lighting. He taps the first-floor button and the door closes.
“He’s been sad about the breakup and I’m quite sick of his damn moping. And fuck me, if I have to hear another breakup song, I’m going to murder the bastard.”
The thought of Felix suffering hurts my heart. I didn’t expect the breakup to tear him up just as much as it tears me up. Then anger nibbles on the back of my neck and I inhale and exhale like a fish gasping for air.
“What does this have to do with me?” I snap. What he’s saying isn’t making any sense. He was the one that told me he didn’t want me. Men are the most simple and complicated creatures on this planet. “He told me that he was using me. And he didn’t have any feelings for me.”
“He lied to you. Your mother forced his hand. She told him that if he stayed with you, she’d go to the media and lie and say he pushed Mae down the stairs on purpose to lose the baby. He did what he did to protect the band.” He folds his arms across his chest.
My anger courses through my veins and I ball up my fists. This is the last time I ever allow my mother to control my life. As soon as I leave here, I’m going to pay my mother a not-so-nice visit.
And of course, Felix will do anything to protect the ones he loves because that’s how his heart is. Sacrificing himself to protect everyone else. The elevator stops and we both step out. East’s feet stay glued to the white tiles as a co-worker strolls pass us.
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