by Gemma Weir
“That’s okay, sis, considering what we were expecting to move today I can carry this all the way to your room,” Bay teases playfully.
Alice’s cheeks turn pink again, but unlike when I embarrass her, her gaze drops to her feet and her shoulders hunch. My expression darkens as I glare at my brother, who looks genuinely regretful when he notices her reaction.
“Sis, I’m just teasing,” he tries to explain.
“It’s fine,” she says tersely, in that monotone voice that I haven’t heard at all in the last couple of days. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” Her gaze never lifts as she takes the box from a shocked looking Bay and heads to our room, her whole body curling in on itself in a way that makes me want to find her mom, her sister and everyone who’s ever rejected her and beat the living shit out of them.
I wait until the bedroom door shuts behind her, before I turn my stony glare on my brother. “What the fuck!” I explode. “She already had a fucking panic attack; you couldn’t just leave her alone.”
“I was just teasing,” Bay exclaims.
“Did you see her reaction? I already caused her to nearly fucking pass out and now you do this. You can’t tease her like that, it’s taken me three fucking days to get her to relax and now it’s all just fucked.” I know I’m being irrational, this isn’t Bay’s fault but I can’t hide the fear that all the work I’ve done to get her to trust me, to see a future here with me might have just been destroyed, that one stupid error in judgement from me and a stupid comment that shouldn’t have had an impact might ruin everything.
“I was just teasing, I didn’t…” Bay’s voice is regretful and shocked. “What did I say?”
“She has…” I pause, wondering if I’m betraying her by telling him anything. “She has…” Sighing, I rub my hand over my forehead. “She has anxiety and some serious abandonment issues. She legit told me that she’s a toxic person and that I shouldn’t be around her because she’s poison to anyone who comes in contact with her. Today when I left, she thought I’d gotten sick of her and wasn’t coming back.”
Bay’s mouth falls open and he glances toward my closed bedroom door and my woman who hopefully isn’t packing her shit right now.
“That sweet little thing thinks she’s a toxic person?”
“Among other things, yeah.”
“Fuck, so why did she react so badly to my teasing?!”
“Honestly I have no fucking clue, I need to go check on her, make sure she’s breathing and not throwing her stuff out the window.”
“She’s that much of a flight risk? You can’t keep her a prisoner if she wants to leave.”
“Can’t I?” I say indignantly. “She’s mine and she’s not going anywhere.” Turning, I stomp away from my brother, opening my bedroom door and tensing for what I might find inside.
Instead of her packing her bags, she’s sitting on the edge of her bed, her head lowered and staring at her hands that are twisted together in her lap. She looks young and sad and tired. Closing the distance between us, I crouch down in front of her and place my hand over hers.
“You okay, honey?”
She nods her head.
“I thought we agreed, no lying was one of your rules. So wanna try that again? You okay?”
This time she shakes her head, but she doesn’t look at me and that pisses me off. “New rule,” I snap, tipping her chin up and forcing her to make eye contact. “When we talk to each other, we look at each other.”
Her eyes are hooded and full of sadness. I prefer the dazed, post orgasm look she had when we got out of the car, but even though I’d like to keep her cum drunk, it’s not a realistic full time option. “Bay was only teasing you.”
“I know,” she says quietly.
“Tell me what you’re thinking. I know you’ve got some bad shit swirling around in that head of yours, so time to put all of it on me and let me deal with it for you.”
“I can’t—”
“Alice,” I interrupt. “This is what we agreed, that you’d tell me when you’re feeling anxious. I want your problems, I need them, so tell me.” It’s not a suggestion, but an order and as I watch my stern words settle over her, her shoulders relax a little.
“I’m pathetic and weak, and now you and your brothers all know.”
“How are you pathetic?”
“I had a panic attack when you left for five minutes. I live in an RV, I have a bag of clothes and half a box of stuff to my name. They’re going to think I’m using you.”
I laugh, I can’t fucking help it. “That’s what you’re worried about.”
“It’s not funny, Granger.”
“I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with relief, I thought you were going to run.”
“Why?”
“Because I hurt you today and because I’m so obsessed with you, I’m ready to kick my brother’s ass for upsetting you.”
“No,” she cries. “Don’t, he’ll hate me, he probably already hates me. Oh my god, they’ll all think I’m a freak that they have to walk on eggshells around. It’s been three days and they already think I’m a gold digging princess who’s using you for your money. I invaded their home and now I’m acting like I’m so sensitive and prickly they can’t even speak to me. This is why I don’t engage, because people hate me, because I’m a freak.”
Her words come faster and faster as she berates herself, what my family think of her, how they hate her already, how they’ll want her to stay away from me. How she’s so pathetic she literally couldn’t breathe thinking I’d left. Fuck, is this what it’s like in her head? This constant stream of negative thoughts. Is this how it’s felt to be her since her sister up and left?
A sudden and compelling sense of hatred for her mom and sister swell inside of me. Who would Alice be if she hadn’t been neglected by her mom and deserted by her sister?
“Honey, stop,” I say, more forcefully than I intended. She stops talking immediately, her huge doe eyes full of unshed tears.
“My family could never think badly of you, because you are sweet and nice and adorable, but more than that, you’re mine and if you’d never spoken a word or done nothing but curse and shout at them, they’d still love you simply because I do.”
A single tear rolls down her cheek and I reach out and catch it with my thumb. “Don’t cry, honey, it makes me feel fucking ragey seeing tears in your eyes.”
“I thought maybe you and this place would be the exception.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s been three days and you don’t hate me yet.”
“Of course I don’t hate you.”
“I’m a mess.”
“My mess and I love you, Alice.”
“You can’t, I’m unlovable, look at everything I’ve done today, all the trouble I’ve caused.”
Anger ignites within me and instead of comforting her and reassuring her, I grab her hips, flip her to her stomach and smack her ass as hard as I can.
She shrieks, but I don’t care as I spank her a second time, then a third. I don’t hold back, lashing all of my fear and anger and frustration through my palm and into her ass. “I never want to hear you fucking say you’re unlovable again. Ever. That shit stops right here, right now, or I’ll tan your fucking ass until it’s bright red and you finally hear what I’m saying. I am in love with you, Alice Lowe, have been since the moment I set eyes on you and I won’t let you or anyone else lessen that.”
Flipping her over, I climb on top of her, caging her in with my arms on either side of her head. “Say it. Say I am loveable.”
Her eyes are wide and full of shock.
“Do I need to spank your ass a few more times to make you hear me?”
She shakes her head.
“Then say it.
“I’m loveable.” The words are barely audible, but she said them and over time I’ll convince her to truly believe them.
“Again.”
“I’m loveable.”
“Now
fucking kiss me.”
Shellshocked, she lifts her head off the comforter and presses her lips to mine. I take over immediately, forcing my tongue between her lips and plundering her mouth until her hands are clawing at my shoulders, pulling me closer. “I wanna fuck you so bad right now,” I say into her mouth.
“Yes,” she nods.
“No, honey, you’re sore, I’ll take you later.”
“Now,” she pants into my mouth.
“Later,” I chuckle. “For now, lots of making out, then tonight I’m taking you on that date I tried to get you to agree to the day we met.”
She stills, then pulls her lips from mine, blinking up at me. “A date?”
“Yes, honey, a date. Dinner, a movie.”
“I don’t have anything to wear for a date.”
“I don’t care what you wear, naked is my favourite on you, so whatever clothes you have on, I’m only gonna wanna take off,” I chuckle, pressing a kiss to her earlobe then nipping it playfully with my teeth.
“I’m serious, Granger, I can’t go on a date in jeans and a fleece.”
“I love your jeans, they’re so tight they make your ass look fucking edible.”
“Granger,” she whines, and the sound is so fucking adorably unfamiliar from her that I can’t stop the smile from filling my face. Ten minutes ago, she was calling herself names, stressing over her insecurities and convinced my family hate her, and now she’s a sweet little kitten worried about what she’s going to wear, all soft and gorgeous.
“Cora can help you find an outfit, her and her mom own a clothing store down in town.”
“I don’t have a car here.”
“I can take you.”
“We just got back from town, I don’t want you to have to drive all the way down there again,” she says worriedly.
“It’s fine, Huck would have gone to pick her up at the end of her shift anyway, we’ll just bring her home with us instead. I don’t care what you wear tonight, honey, but I want you to be comfortable and happy, it’s a trip into town, not to Mexico.”
“I could…” she trails off, then visibly swallows. “I could ask Huck if he wouldn’t mind taking me with him, that way you don’t have to drive.”
“No,” I snap immediately. “If you go, I take you.”
“But—”
“No fucking buts, Alice, you had a fucking panic attack when I left earlier, no way am I risking you getting upset and me not being there to help you, I’m not letting you out of my sight.” My words and tone are harsh, but she visibly relaxes at my vehement honesty.
“Okay.”
“No arguments?”
She shakes her head. “I forgot how nice it is to have someone care about you.”
A lump forms in my throat and I force down the bile that tries to surge forward. I love this woman, she’s mine now to protect and care for and I fucking hate that she’s been alone for so long, feeling she was unlovable, unworthy, poisonous. All of these feelings she has go back to her fucking mother and her fucking sister.
I need her whole and healthy and as much as I know that giving her all my love will help her, she needs to understand nothing shy of cheating on me will ever make me walk away. Her stuff is in my house, now I need my ring on her finger, to give her my last name and to put a baby in her belly. I’ll surround her with so much love and happiness she never has to question it again.
We spend the rest of afternoon making out like teenagers, dry humping over our clothes, winding one another up without either of us getting the relief we both need. When I tear myself away from her, I escape to the bathroom, grab my dick and fuck my hand in short desperate strokes, spilling my cum all over my fingers and into the toilet beneath me as I pant, lifting my free hand to brace against the wall as aftershocks shudder through my body.
“That was sexy,” a quiet voice says from behind me, and I spin to find Alice standing in the doorway, her fingers white knuckled as she grips the doorframe, her eyes fixed on my hand around my dick.
“You like watching me fuck my hand over how wound up you’ve got me?”
Her nod is slow and a tiny smile tips at the corner of her lips. “Will you? Can I watch you sometime?”
Smiling, I chuckle. “If I get to watch you touch yourself too.”
Her nod is fast and decisive, and I flush the toilet and wash my hands in the sink before crossing the room and cupping her face in my hands. “I fucking love you.”
She blinks, but I press a soft kiss to her lips and move past her, not waiting for her to reply. She’s not there yet and that’s okay, she will be once she understands that my love isn’t on a timescale, it’s not dependent on her independence or behavior. All I want it her, however she comes, I want it all and I won’t settle for less.
Huck insists on coming with us when we go down to collect Cora, so instead of having my girl in the seat next to me, the seat where only hours earlier I fucked her pussy until she came all over my hand, I have my brother, while Alice sits quietly in the backseat.
Pulling up right outside the store, I kill the engine and we all climb out. I take Alice’s hand and lead her into the store, smiling at my brother as he makes a beeline for his pregnant fiancé, scooping her off her feet as he kisses her passionately.
“Go look around,” I say to Alice, reluctantly releasing her hand as she starts to move tentatively through the racks of clothing. Nothing I can see screams ‘Alice’ to me, but all I’ve seen her wear so far has been simple jeans and sweaters. I’d happily take her out in those, but if a new outfit makes her feel better, I’m all for it.
Huck and Cora finally come up for air and she glances at me over Huck’s shoulder. “Hi Granger.”
“Hi Cora, I’m taking Alice out for a date and she wanted to find something new to wear.”
“Ohhh,” Cora says gleefully, shoving Huck away from her as she marches toward Alice, grabbing things from racks as she moves, her pregnant belly almost pulling clothes off rails as she walks.
Huck laughs, watching Cora go, a smirk plastered across his lips that are shiny from Cora’s lipgloss. “She loves this shit, just don’t do a Beau and try to tell Alice what to wear like he did with Bonnie,” he says as he moves to stand next to me.
“I don’t care what she wears, I’m not letting her out to a bar on her own, so no one but me is gonna get a chance to go anywhere near her,” I growl.
“The girls will drag her out eventually, doesn’t matter that Cora’s as big as a house, she still needs ‘girls’ night’, apparently,” Huck rolls his eyes.
“I think Bonnie and Cora will be good for Alice, she needs decent girl friends and just like you and Beau, I’ll be a fucking stalker and watch her from the shadows,” I laugh.
“You look happy,” Huck says, slapping me on the shoulder.
“I am. I’ll be even happier when I get a ring on her finger,” I say lowly so neither of the women can hear.
“You there already? It’s been what, three days?”
“I’d have asked her ten minutes after I saw her, I’ve waited as long as I can.”
“Think she’ll say yes?”
“Wasn’t planning on asking, just telling her that’s the way it’s gonna be.”
“Bro,” he chuckles. “Can I be there when she kicks you in the balls?”
“She isn’t like Bonnie and Cora, she needs me.” With a smirk in my brother’s direction, I head for my woman, pulling my arms around her waist from behind and dragging her into me. “I need to make a quick call, I’ll just be outside. Okay?”
Twisting in my arms, she turns and looks up at me with worried eyes.
“I’ll be five minutes and I’ll be right outside the window.”
“Of course, take as long as you need.” Her words are all bravado and more for Cora than me or her.
Leaning down, I press my lips to hers. “I love you.” Some of the tension in her shoulders falls away and I pinch her chin between my finger and thumb and squeeze. “Five minutes.”
Walking quickly out of the store, I position myself in the middle of the window in clear view in case she starts to panic, then I pull out my cell and open my contacts to the new one I only added today.
Serenity.
The urge to speak to Alice’s sister, to find out how she could just walk away from her sister and never look back is so strong that when Alice was in the bathroom earlier, I found her cell and copied her sister’s contact details into my phone.
Should I be contacting her behind Alice’s back? No, I fucking shouldn’t. Am I going to do it anyway? Hell fucking yes, I am.
Clicking call on her name, I lift the cell to my ear and listen to it ring and ring. After the fifth ring I assume she’s not going to answer, when a soft feminine voice says. “Staff Sergeant Lowe.”
“Hi, is this Serenity Lowe?”
“Speaking, who am I speaking with.”
“You don’t know me, but I’m a friend of your sister’s.” The word friend burns on my tongue, but boyfriend sounds juvenile and saying I’m her sister’s fiancé before I tell Alice we’re getting married is probably a mistake.
“Alice.” Panic laces her sister’s name. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine.”
“Okay. Can I ask how you got my number?”
“I took it from her cell, she doesn’t know I’m calling you. But I’m in love with your sister and I need to know why you left her all those years ago.”
“Look I have no idea who you are, I’ve never heard my sister mention you before so I’m not sure why you think you can call me—”
“Have you spoken to your sister recently?” I interrupt.
“That’s none of your business.”
“See, I think it is my business, especially when it’s affecting my woman.”
“Your woman,” she says indignantly.
“Yes, my fucking woman,” I snarl. “Why did you just leave?”
Her sigh is so loud it sounds like she’s standing in front of me, not hours away on the other side of the country. “I was eighteen.”
“She was thirteen.”
“I wasn’t her parent. It’s not my fault that our mom is a man hungry waste of space, I needed to be a teenager, I needed to live my own life and Alice, she just…” she trails off, her voice softening.