Damn, she’d hoped he’d forgotten about his earlier question. She’d tried not to think about it. Lost in the moment of enjoying good food with a very sexy man Caleb, with his rough around the edges loner vibe, had every woman in the room sparing him glances.
“I dropped out of college my last semester and…” She picked up her glass of wine again, draining the remaining contents. “Well, let’s just say I made a bad decision and it took me a long time to work out just how bad. But now I’ve got my degree and I’m working in a job I love, even though it can be tiring. I’m very happy with my life at the moment.”
He looked like he wanted to question her more. The night was too special to be ruined by talk of her past.
Please, Caleb. No more questions, leave the subject alone.
“Well, I’m glad you’re happy and doing what you love. Not everyone is that lucky.”
Was the accident he alluded to earlier the reason for the sadness in his voice? “What do you do in the air force?” she asked, broaching the subject she’d told herself she wouldn’t.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said abruptly. His face was like a piece of granite. “You ready to go?”
“Umm, sure, let me just run to the restroom.” She picked up her purse without waiting for a response.
Somehow the evening had gone from full of promise to a disaster waiting to happen. Perhaps it was for the best that they called the evening over. Like her, he had secrets he didn’t want to share. She should respect it, but why did it hurt so much?
Chapter Eleven
The walk back to the car was filled with tension. Caleb was well aware he was responsible for it. He shouldn’t have snapped at Kerry when she asked him about what he did for a living. She’d answered his questions, shared a part of her he could see was hard to share.
It still intrigued him what the backstory was for the delay in getting a job. Perhaps she’d been married and she hadn’t needed to work. Ron had said she’d been hurt in the past. That could mean many things. Maybe her husband had died recently and it hurt too much to talk about him. But there were no wedding photos on her mantel or pictures of her with a man. During his time in the armed services, he’d been to widows’ houses and they still had pictures of their fallen husbands on display, even if they’d moved on and remarried. Plus, he was sure Ron would’ve mentioned a former son-in-law. Or maybe she’d been through an acrimonious divorce and neither of them wanted to talk about it to him.
Although, now that he thought about it, they hadn’t touched on Kerry’s past all that much. He hadn’t wanted to seem too interested, and Ron was clearly protecting his daughter’s privacy.
Still, he’d been an asshole when he had no reason to be, and their evening had been going so well. He’d been having the best time he’d had in a long while. Sitting across the table from Kerry had highlighted just how off track he’d gotten with the women he’d dated since his accident.
“I worked in the K-9 division,” he said, shattering the silence that engulfed them.
“Pardon?” Kerry asked, stopping, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion.
“Back in the restaurant, you asked me what I did and I brushed you off. Actually, I was very rude. And I’m sorry for that.”
The confusion cleared from her face, but there was still a hint of wariness in her eyes, a shadow suggesting she’d heard apologies before but then they’d been retracted with the next break.
“Thank you.” She continued walking away.
He’d well and truly fucked this up.
He should fix it. He should stop her and make her understand a little of why he was feeling the way he did about his job.
Yet he hesitated. Perhaps it was for the best that this night be a one-off thing for the two of them. Until he had his life sorted out, was he really in a position to embark on a relationship with a woman?
Relationship.
Where had that thought come from? At a few months shy of thirty-eight, most of the guys he associated with were married with kids or at the very least in serious relationships. Hell, some had divorced and remarried. His former roommate’s fiancée had been married to a military man who died in a training exercise and now she was taking the plunge again. People leaped when their life was in turmoil, found the arms of a loved one who helped them through whatever tragedy they were going through.
Why couldn’t he?
Why couldn’t he lay his troubles down in front of Kerry?
Fear.
Plain and simple fear. Why else had he taken up with women who weren’t looking for a long-term future with him? Hell, Amy, the last woman he’d been seeing, was having one last fling before settling down with the man her family had lined up for her to marry. But then she’d clung on longer than Caleb thought she would, and it had been difficult to extricate from her.
Kerry had continued walking, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to lose her in the crowd of people around the Riverwalk. He set off after her at a quick pace, ignoring the sting in his leg.
“Kerry, wait!” Relief pounded through him when she stopped.
“Yes?”
Okay, so she wasn’t going to give him an inch, and he supposed he deserved it. “Look, I know I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did in the restaurant when you questioned me. Talking about my career is hard at the moment.”
“And you think blurting out that at thirty I’m just starting my first job was easy? I thought we were at least friends, Caleb, and friends share stuff.”
“We are friends, Kerry. We are.” Unfortunately, the light and happiness he usually spied in her eyes was missing.
“Well, I’m not so sure.” Her shoulders slumped, and he wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss away the sorrow. Yeah, he didn’t think she would appreciate it.
“What can I do?” he asked.
“Take me home. I think it’s probably best we go back to the way things were before tonight. Heck, before this morning when you kissed me. You’re helping me out with my dad, which I really appreciate, so we should leave it at that. The job could be finished in a couple days when Dad goes to the doctor and we can go back to being just neighbors.”
Her arms were crossed over her chest, her pose as defensive as a row of airmen with their guns raised. Her chin lifted, daring him to object.
The last thing he wanted to do was force her into something she didn’t want, even though he suspected deep down this reaction was coming purely from a place of hurt, not from any dislike for him. Well, he hoped that was the case.
Earlier when he’d watched her eat, and their eyes had connected and held, she couldn’t have faked her reaction. She liked and wanted him just as much as he liked and wanted her. What he had to do was come at this strategically.
Because, dammit, Kerry was good for him and he liked to think he was good for her too. He just had to find out a way to convince her.
*
Kerry was doing a bang-up job of avoiding him. As she’d predicted at their dinner, the doctor had removed the cast on Ron’s right leg, giving him more freedom with the ability to get around on his crutches. Even Willow hadn’t turned up in his yard unannounced. He hadn’t fixed the area of the fence, even though he’d told Kerry he would. Admitting that Willow had grown on him had all been part of the adjustment he’d gone through mentally.
Caleb checked his appearance in the mirror one last time. Before he met with his lieutenant colonel in a few days to discuss his future, he intended to speak to Kerry, see if they could start over.
First though, he had to see if she was home and wanted to take Willow for a walk.
Okay, he couldn’t put it off any longer. He snatched up his keys, pulled his door open, and stepped out into the Texas sunshine. The humidity in the air left his clothes clinging to him after two strides.
When he reached Kerry’s front door, he took a moment to center his thoughts then raised his fist to knock.
“Coming,” Ron’s voice filtered through th
e wood. He strained to see if he could hear the telltale clipping of Willow’s nails. Of course, that was ridiculous considering it was thick wood.
Ron’s face brightened after he opened the door.
“Hey, Ron, is it okay if I come in?”
“Sure, sure. Hang on, let me get out of the way. Damn crutches, it should be easier now that I only have one leg in a cast, but I’m still hopeless.”
No matter how hard he tried, Caleb couldn’t prevent the smile from breaking out over his face as he watched Ron hop and shift awkwardly. “By this time tomorrow, you’ll be a whiz on those things.”
“I think the wheelchair was easier to deal with, even though I hated being in it.”
“Maybe you should look at getting one of those one-leg scooters,” Caleb suggested as he walked into the hallway, closing the door behind him. A cool breeze from the air conditioning flowed over him. He closed his eyes and stood there for a few seconds, savoring being able to feel cool again.
“Funny you should say that. Kerry’s going to speak to someone while she’s at the veterans’ center today about it.”
Disappointment flared through him. But he already knew she was gone when he hadn’t spied Willow’s happy face. “Oh well, that’s good. I take it Kerry’s not here?” He tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible. Ron raised his eyebrow—clearly Caleb hadn’t succeeded.
“No. Did you want to see her?”
Caleb sighed. He could lie to Ron and say he was here to see him, but he wasn’t that type of person and Ron wouldn’t appreciate it either. “Yeah, I was hoping to.”
Ron seated himself in his chair and let out a groan. “I really hope she comes home with a scooter. I thought I’d like being on crutches and independent, but it’s harder than I thought it was going to be.”
“Do you need something? You know you can call me and I’ll come and help you out.”
Ron sat quietly for a few moments, watching him. The action reminded Caleb of sitting opposite his superior officer, waiting for him to take Caleb to task for an error he’d made while training or on deployment. Like he did in those situations, Caleb straightened his spine and met the other man’s gaze head-on. No matter what Kerry’s dad said, he’d accept it and move on, even if it was a leave my daughter the hell alone lecture.
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to, considering you seemed eager to be as far away from here as possible. Today’s the first day since we came back from the doctor’s that you’ve bothered to show up.”
Caleb scrubbed a hand down his face. He couldn’t fault Ron; he had kept his distance. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I’ve had to do a little thinking about what I’m going to do and where my life is headed. It’s been off track for a while.”
“And what have you decided?”
Well, that was getting straight to the point, wasn’t it? “In certain aspects, I’m still wavering, and in others, yeah, I think I do.”
“And does Kerry fit in with any of this?”
How did he answer this without putting his main ally offside? There was a spark between them that she felt as much as he did. So he would do everything he could to change her mind. But regardless of what he wanted, if she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him, he’d walk.
“Well, sir, that’s up to your daughter. I’ve discovered that I like her and enjoy being with her, and I want to explore that. If she doesn’t, well then, I’ll leave her be.”
Ron studied him, as if trying to determine whether he was talking truth or bullshit. Over the time they’d spent together, he’d been honest with Ron. Sure, he might not have told him about his accident and Trigger’s death. Talking about that was hard. Without a doubt he’d have to explain it all to Kerry if he wanted a future with her. That was, if he found her and she was willing to talk to him.
“My daughter is all I have left, and I’ve loved her from the second my late wife told me she was expecting. I’ll do anything to protect her. I’m not going to go into details, because, as I mentioned, it’s not my story tell. But let me reiterate. She’s been hurt in the past and, well, I don’t want to see that happen to her again.”
Caleb got the message loud and clear. “Understood.”
“She’ll be at the veterans’ center for a little longer. If you’re interested.”
Oh, he was very interested. He smiled. He’d been granted permission he hadn’t known he’d been seeking. Kerry—well, she was special and he wanted to do everything right when it came to her.
Chapter Twelve
Kerry smiled at George as he placed the folded leg scooter in her trunk. “Thanks, George. Dad is going to appreciate having this. He just can’t get the hang of crutches. I thought his awkwardness was because of having both legs in casts, but it’s not. He’s just not crutch coordinated.”
The older man laughed and slammed the trunk shut. “Yeah, crutches can be a bitch to deal with, especially if you have stairs in the house.”
“Well, thank goodness, I don’t have stairs,” Kerry commented as they walked back into the building.
“Willow’s been a real help to a lot of the guys here. I hope you know how much we appreciate the time you take out of the day to bring her down.” George, a former Vietnam veteran, was the director of the center. He’d put a call out for a therapy dog just as she had completed Willow’s training, so Kerry had jumped at the chance to put all they’d learned into practice.
She couldn’t describe the emotions that had bubbled inside of her when she’d seen Willow help her first person. Now she wished she could do more, but she needed her job to pay for her house.
“We love coming here, George. It’s crazy. Willow seems to know which days we’re coming because she’s whimpering with excitement in the car when we get about a quarter mile from here. If I didn’t have her in a doggie seat in the back of the car, she’d leap out the second I opened the door. And, as you know, that’s not the easiest thing for a corgi to do.”
George laughed as they walked back into the coolness of the building. “Now that’s a sight I wouldn’t mind seeing. But so long as she doesn’t hurt herself, of course. We’d be lost without our Willow here.”
Pride at her dog burst within her. Never in a million years would she have ever thought she’d volunteer at a veterans’ center. For sure, if she’d still been with Winthorn, he wouldn’t have allowed her to do it. Of course, he wouldn’t have allowed her to have a dog. Or anything that took her attention away from him.
God, why was she still thinking about the jerk? Since her run-in with him at the restaurant, she hadn’t heard a peep from him so his threat to her had been as empty as his heart.
“I’ll speak to you later, Kerry. Let me know if your dad needs anything else, and also let him know he’s welcome here anytime. The other guys enjoy his company.”
“Thanks, George, I’ll tell him. He’ll get a buzz out of hearing that. He enjoys coming here too. Since Mom died, he’s been trying to find something that fulfills his time—hence he thought skiing might be something he could take up. Visiting here is a much safer venture. Not to mention he enjoys playing cards with Eric and the others.”
George laughed as he headed down the hallway to his office. Kerry couldn’t deny the place was therapeutic for her as well. Over the last week, she’d been able to keep her thoughts of Caleb to a bare minimum when she and Willow were here doing their job. Which was strange considering the company she was keeping. Being surrounded by military personnel should’ve brought Caleb front and center in her mind, and she couldn’t deny that if she let herself, she’d imagine him standing in the doorway of the game room, like she was doing right now.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. Imagining Caleb standing in this building was crazy. She’d gone out of her way to make sure she wasn’t in his orbit after their date. And he’d done the same.
Once she was sure thoughts of Caleb had cleared her mind, she opened her eyes, her gaze tracking to the spot where she’d imagined he was standin
g. But instead of the doorway being empty, there he was, still standing there, although he wasn’t peering into the room like he had when she’d first spied him. No, his eyes were on her, pinning her to the spot.
He straightened his stance and she willed her legs to move. It wasn’t like she could go home, because Willow was still on duty. But she could pretend she needed the bathroom or wanted a drink or something instead of standing there like a statute.
Ever since Caleb entered her orbit, she’d been drawn to him like a moth to a flame. But past experience had taught her that was the first step on the road to hell. She’d sworn that no way would she let a guy dictate her every move, and so far, she’d stayed strong and kept that oath. Not that being around Caleb had ever made her feel weak.
If anyone would be hell-bent on controlling situations around him, it would be Caleb. He was in the air force. He walked into dangerous situations all the time. She’d done a little bit of research about the K-9 division. They were in first, checking to make sure the building was free of explosives or hunting for the insurgent they were after.
Of course, he’d want to be in control of all aspects of his life, including a relationship.
Regardless of all those thoughts, the time had come to be truthful and admit she’d missed him. Missed seeing him sitting in the corner of her couch, legs stretched out in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other. His hair was never as neatly combed as it looked now with him standing right in front of her. At this moment, all she wanted to do was run toward him and have his strong arms wrap around her.
“Hi, Kerry.” A small smile teased his lips and the citrusy scent he always wore wafted around her. It took everything in her not to sway. The scent was intoxicating; whenever she smelled oranges at the grocery store her thoughts invariably tracked to him.
“Hi, Caleb, what are you doing here?” Excellent, her voice sounded strong and sure, like having him close wasn’t affecting her at all. Of course, her heart was beating out of her chest.
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