That’s if this baby made it that long. My hands began to shake. When I thought about the due date, every fear I had about this pregnancy overwhelmed me. All the things that could go wrong turned my dreams into nightmares.
I woke up every morning in tears.
“No. Only you and Babette know about the bun in the oven.”
Cara’s head went back. “You haven’t said anything to Tyler? But he’s the father. Oh, wait . . . is he the father?” she whispered that last part.
I was thankful, Jake was outside waiting for the people from Gloss Magazine. I didn’t want Jake to find out before Tyler. Tyler should be told, I knew that, but every time I started to tell him I’d picture waking up alone with Tyler once again, gone from my life.
“Of course, he is but I want to do it right. You know, maybe film it or something. Like those cute little reaction videos they have online. Something like that.”
No, I didn’t. Tyler would hate for me if I used our baby for attention, but I had to come up with a reason so I didn’t have to tell Cara the truth. And that truth was that I was afraid I’d never see Tyler again if I told him.
By this time next week, I won’t be here anymore. I had a plan. I’d fly Tyler out West once or twice a month, and I’d come visit here the other weekends. We’d see each other every week. Once I started to show, I’d tell him I had to be on location and couldn’t see him for a while. And, maybe once the baby was born, I could bring the subject up with him. Ease him into it. If he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life, that would be great, but if not, then I could still see him and take care of my baby.
It wasn’t a perfect plan. Perhaps, it wasn’t even a decent plan. Okay, I’d admit it was a terrible plan, but I needed time to think about it.
How do people come to terms with having a baby when it happens so quickly? I mean, one second, I was walking around carrying unfertilized eggs and the next minute, bam, a sneaky sperm swam its way up my cervix and dove into my egg like it was invited to the party. Technically, it was, but I was hoping it would stay out of the VIP section.
“That sounds like a great idea. It will really win people over. That’s why I set up this interview. More for him than for you.”
All thoughts of my baby dissolved from my brain. Why would Tyler need to win people over?
“What?”
Cara chewed on her bottom lip. “Promise you won’t be mad . . . ?”
“How could I ever be mad at you, Cara? You’re the sweetest person on the planet.” I waved her over to the couch.
She hesitated, taking a step and pausing before finally settling next to me. “Let me preface this by letting you know that I was hurt by what you said about me, and that’s why I did it.”
My mind raced trying to think of what I might have said to hurt her. Maybe this had to do with me assuming I would do the web series she came up with.
“I’m sorry I thought you meant me for the series. I honestly believed—”
“No.” She held up her hand. “It wasn’t about the series, though that sort of rubbed salt into the wound. This had to do with you wanting to fire me.”
“Fire you!” I said that louder than I should. “I never said that I wanted to fire you. Whatever gave you that idea?”
Cara tilted her head and her brow creased. “It was in the Hollywood Rag.” She grabbed her phone and turned it on. After a few swipes and taps, she held up the screen.
I.D. Needs Help. Assistant Tossed to The Curb.
I took the phone from her and tapped on the article. The post was filled with lies about my life and how I treated Cara. There was a picture of me grabbing her and she looked like she was flinching in pain or fear.
“I remember that picture. That’s when we were on the Hell Fire set. That paparazzi took a picture and you chased after him. Was this the article that started the whole thing about me being abusive?”
“No, but it’s from the same journalist. If you can call him that . . .” She rolled her eyes.
“What else has this guy written about me?” I clicked the link to his name and article after article—in every celebrity gossip website you could think of—popped up. Most were about me.
“It’s like this guy’s obsessed with me.” I tried to find his picture, but there weren’t any.
I knew the gossip writers would resort to hearsay, but they never targeted just one famous person. They would find out what they could about anyone. But this guy only dug up dirt on me or anyone I associated with. It was like he had it out for me.
“None of what’s written in these things are true. Why didn’t you ask me about it?”
“I wanted to but then the movie shut down and you came out here. When I got the phone call from the mayor, it solidified in my head that you wanted nothing to do with me.”
Keaghan Bailey. I wonder what garbage that man said about me.
“Never believe anything that man says. He’ll lie and cheat to get his way.”
I remember the one day he swore he changed. He had followed me home from school and asked me to the end of year dance. I repeatedly told him no, but the more he spoke the more I believed he had changed.
He opened up about the pressure he felt at home to be perfect and a scout was at his last game and he fumbled the ball, losing the game for the team.
I remember because I was at that game. It was the first time Tyler kissed me. It was halftime and the football team was milling around, a few players were talking to some people in the stands. Tyler pulled me to the side and kissed me. It was sweet in that high school sort of way.
I began to wonder if all the times Keaghan had teased me were just his immature and warped way of flirting. Maybe he saw Tyler kiss me and was a little jealous.
He seemed so sincere when he spoke to me that I felt bad and decided to go with him as long as others were going with us. I may have said yes, but I still didn’t fully trust him.
I never did go to the dance. Tyler lured me to our spot and that was the night we had sex. Everything changed that night, especially for Keaghan.
I heard he got drunk at the dance and did some stupid things with his dad’s car in the high school parking lot. He crashed it and broke his leg, ending his high school football career and any possible college scholarship.
“He sure did. Told me he had spoken with you and that you were asking about his assistant. He said you were in search of a new one and complaining about your current one. When I mentioned that I was your assistant, he seemed surprised. He said he thought I was your agent. That’s when he came up with the idea for you participating in the festival. That it might help your career and make me look like I was working hard to help you. That’s the only reason I mentioned it to Babette. I never would have stuck you on the float with that pervert if I had realized what type of guy he was. I wanted to cancel it immediately when we met him two weeks ago. He was so slimy.”
“I’m glad you told me.” I put my arm around her on the couch. She had her head down, and I knew Cara felt true guilt for going along with the mayor’s plan.
I knew why he did it—to get back at me for not going to the dance with him. I saw the comments on my vlog back then. He tried to disguise himself with the name EarnestK but I knew it was Keaghan. He would leave comments about how trashy I was and how I was in the principal’s office more than in class. He even hinted once that I went to the principal’s office so often because I was so easy.
“But you said you did this for Tyler. Why would Tyler need help?”
She was twisting her fingers together and wouldn’t look at me.
“Cara?”
“Fine. I mentioned to the mayor that Tyler ghosted you when you became pregnant. But I told him you lost the baby, so it’s not like the mayor thinks you’re hiding a kid from the world or anything.”
Cara was always so good at keeping my private life secret. I was surprised she revealed something so intimate to a stranger.
“Why would you say anything in the first pl
ace?”
She turned to look at me, shaking her head. “That wasn’t because I was mad at you. Please don’t think that I told him out of spite. The mayor kept mentioning how he was worried about you and Tyler. He mentioned that he went to high school with you both and remembered all the terrible things Tyler used to say about you. That he wanted to use you and you were too naïve to realize it. I was upset and told him how he did exactly that.”
Did Tyler really say those things? That couldn’t be right . . . Keaghan was making it up to mess with Cara.
“I don’t think Tyler said those things.”
“He mentioned how he’d boast in the locker room about taking you to some private spot and get you to give it up for him. That he showed the guys a key chain you had to prove you had done the deed.”
The Hello Kitty key chain. Maybe Tyler wasn’t lying about having the wrong number. How would Keaghan know about the key chain or our special spot if Tyler hadn’t said anything?
I felt sick to my stomach and it wasn’t because of the baby.
There was a knock at the door. Cara got up and when she opened it, there was a man and woman there. They were from Gloss Magazine. I took a few fortifying breaths and stood, smiling as they came inside.
Once the introductions were over and the photographer took a few shots, we sat down for the interview.
“I.D., it was a surprise to the world when you became engaged to your high school sweetheart, Dr. Tyler Ferguson. Were you as surprised as we were when he proposed?” the woman asked.
Thoughts of Tyler shoving his grandmother’s ring on my hand popped up in my head. The irritation on his face that he had to even be fake engaged was causing my blood to boil. I thought it was sweet when he gave me her ring and now, I knew it was another ploy just to mess with me.
“Not as surprised as I was when I found out I was pregnant. I’m due in June.” I plastered the biggest smile on my face.
Cara’s mouth fell open, as did the reporters.
I didn’t care about their reaction. All I wanted was to see Tyler’s face when he realized he was going to have to own up to his actions this time.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Tyler
“CONGRATULATIONS, MAN!” a guy said as I passed him on the street headed to work. He held up his thumbs with a big smile.
I did the same without understanding what it was for. Everyone seemed unusually kind to me today. I stopped by the drug store to pick up a granola bar for a snack before work. The cashier said I must be the happiest man in the world. I never thought a granola bar would cause that sort of reaction but hey, I wasn’t one to judge other’s pleasures. I agreed, paid for my order, and left, hoping I never ran into her again.
I didn’t have time this morning to eat breakfast. My alarm stopped working, and I overslept. The weird thing was, when I went to check my clock, I saw it had been unplugged. It must be Jake playing a trick on me. Well, two could play at that game. I left some broccoli under his bed. He’d smell it in a day or two.
The only person not being friendly was Iona. I swear it was like a roller coaster ride with her emotions the past several weeks. One minute, she’s loving and horny, and the next, she won’t speak to me.
I love her, but I worried that whatever was making her sick, which she still hadn’t fully explained, was hurting her emotionally, too. That scared me. She shouldn’t be going through this alone.
I noticed a few people already waiting when I walked into the office. I nodded in greeting, to which they stood and clapped.
Weird. Standing ovation for being late? I mean, their sarcasm was noted, and not appreciated.
Something was going on and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what I heard.
I glanced at Olivia, who was at the front desk, her smile took over her face. She got up and opened her arms. Before I knew it, she pulled me into a hug. “I am so happy for you both. I can’t wait to be an auntie.”
What did those two statements have to do with each other?
I pulled back, glanced over at the waiting room, and realized we were the entertainment.
“Olivia, please meet me in my office. Now.”
I headed down the hall and sat at my desk. Olivia came in a few seconds later, shutting the door behind her.
“Why would you being an auntie have anything to do with my happiness?”
“Oh, I wasn’t about to presume . . . You know, with relations and all. I thought I.D. was an only child and you only have a brother who isn’t married. Maybe the kid could use a cool aunt who has a way with animals. You know, kids love animals.”
The more she spoke, the more confused I became.
“Let’s break this down. You are correct, Iona is an only child and I do have an unmarried brother, but who is the kid you’re talking about?”
“He or she, depending, wouldn’t be a kid for a while. So, technically, there’s no kid. Not even really a baby at this point yet. I think it’s more like a pea right now.”
I stared at her wondering if Carter had caused her to have a mental breakdown. Nothing she said made any sense.
Shaking my head, I couldn’t even think of words to respond to her. How do you respond to a woman discussing a pea?
Olivia pointed at my desk. The day’s mail was neatly stacked on the surface. I lifted the top envelope. It was junk mail about the latest in laser hair removal technology.
“Not the letters. The magazine underneath.”
I brushed the other mail aside and saw Iona’s face smiling up from Gloss Magazine. The headline read I.D. Pregnant.
Slowly the world began to spin. Was this some made up lie like the vet killer thing from a month ago? I ripped open the pages until I found the article. It was some puff piece making her and I out to be a perfect couple, yet I wasn’t in any of the photos. It would have been nice to be asked to be there, even if I would have turned it down.
“Her due date is in June?” I mumbled.
“A June baby! What could be more perfect?” Olivia said with a sigh.
“I can tell you what could be more perfect. The father knowing about the pregnancy to begin with.” I slammed down the magazine and a few pages stuck to my sweaty fingers. Flailing my hand around, I finally ripped them off and got up.
“She hasn’t told you?”
“No.”
Olivia jumped up and stepped in my path before I could get to my office door. “Wait a second, Tyler. There has to be a reason why she hasn’t told you yet. Maybe she wanted it to be a surprise?” she said in a way that I knew she didn’t believe it, either.
“Well, it worked. I’m going to go outside and scream at the top of my lungs until I’m arrested for disturbing the peace because I’m so fucking surprised.” I waited for Olivia to move but she stood there.
She was an attractive blond wall in the way of my meltdown.
“Please move.”
“Where are you going? You have patients to see.” Her voice was soft, and I worried I was scaring her.
I took a step back and leaned against my desk. “I don’t know. Home, maybe, to talk to Iona or just for a walk until I calm down. All I know is I can’t be standing still right now.” I shoved my hand into my pocket and felt the Hello Kitty key chain.
The hard metal dug into my skin as I clenched my fist around it. Why did I keep this thing for all these years? To remind myself what a mistake Iona was? Every time I gave her my heart, she threw it away as if it was nothing. As if I was nothing.
That’s what she’d been keeping from me, her pregnancy. It was another thing to use me for—fame. She didn’t care about the baby. She certainly never cared about me. We were merely stepping-stones to money, fame, and power. That’s all she ever cared about.
And I was the fool who fell for her, a second time. She even said when we were young that was what she wanted in life—to be so powerful that no one would ever hurt her or her mom again.
At the time, I agreed with her. I dreamed of a day where I could whis
k her away and keep her safe from the people who hurt her. People like Keaghan and my parents. They treated us like dirt.
When the world saw you as nothing, then you had nothing to lose taking a risk to be something more. I did what my parents never could—I had a well-paying, stable job, and owned a home. Iona made more money than both of our families combined.
We made it. Yet, we had trouble making it together. Maybe that was the answer. We were better off as friends but could never be more.
“Take a minute and breathe, Tyler. Do you want to talk about this? Because I’m really good at talking.”
That was for sure. When she first started here this past spring, I wondered how Carter tolerated her. Not that she annoyed me, but Carter rarely spoke. They seemed like opposites and I had a hard time grasping what she saw in him.
“Fine. I’ll talk but then you’re taking over for the day so I can go get the truth from Iona.”
She nodded. We sat in silence for a minute as I gathered my thoughts.
“Why would a woman not tell the man she was with that she’s pregnant?”
That bothered me the most. I’d been her best friend since we were fifteen. She could tell me anything. But she told the world about our baby before me.
“I think the question you should be asking is why would Iona think you wouldn’t want to know she was pregnant?”
A million thoughts came to me at once.
“Because the first time she was pregnant, she couldn’t reach me.”
“Iona was pregnant before?”
I forgot Olivia didn’t know.
“Yes. When we were eighteen.”
I took a moment and explained it to Olivia.
Her eyes widened and she smiled up at me. “Then that’s it.”
“But that was a mistake. Iona can reach me now. We are living under the same roof.”
“But don’t you see, Tyler? She’s scared. She’s afraid of reliving the past all over again. I’ve been studying animal psychology at school and a traumatic event can cause anxiety in an animal. So, when they hear certain sounds or smells or in a certain environment, it can make it seem like they are reliving that event.”
Living Hell (Lost and Found Book 2) Page 17