“You’re going to bake?” The man never cooked unless it’s to fry up an egg white omelet.
“No.” He winked, and as much as the idea of eating frosting and the wink were turning me on, I still didn’t understand what he was getting at.
“Then how would I have a penis cake? Did you go to one of those specialty cake stores?”
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, messing up what the makeup artist did only minutes ago. She wasn’t going to be happy about that.
“No, Iona. You know frosting . . .” he pointed to his crotch, “on a penis . . . cake.”
I shook my head. Not a clue.
“Cock cake, Iona. I’m going to slather frosting on my penis for you to eat later,” he said a little too loudly. Several of the crew members turned to stare, including Garrison Heart and Austen Goode, who happened to be speaking with the director. They were going to be interviewed as well but at later dates.
“Wow. Say it a little louder why don’t ya? I don’t think they heard you up in Canada.”
His face was red. Even the thick makeup couldn’t hide his deep blush.
“Do I still get my penis cake?” I asked, afraid he had changed his mind.
He stared into my eyes and said, “I’ll give you everything you want for the rest of your life, Iona.”
PSST – I got a BONUS SCENE for you that is Iona & Tyler’s honeymoon! Not only that, but I have the very first chapter of Idol that comes out in September. Just CLICK HERE to download it now.
Thank you for reading! I hope you loved meeting Tyler and Iona. I hope you had the chance to read the first book in the Lost & Found series, CABIN FEVER. Back when Olivia was just a spoiled, runaway bride and Carter only wanted his dog and sheep to keep him company.
“I loved this story. Carter was such a unique hero and had so many layers. This book had everything. It was sexy, funny, emotional, you name it.”
- Laura Lee, bestselling author of Dealing with Love series
CLICK HERE TO READ CABIN FEVER NOW >
And if you enjoyed LIVING HELL, you’ll love the next story of mine, IDOL. It’s the first novella in a novella series called Price of Fame.
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Turn the page for a short excerpt from my upcoming release, IDOL...
Excerpt from IDOL
“Emmie, give me your pocket chalk.” I held out my hand, continuing to stare at the white Maserati, or as I liked to call it the compensation dick.
Her lips thinned as she gave me the side eye.
“I’m sorry. What I meant to say was Emmie, would you please give me your pocket chalk?”
“No, Willa.”
I turned to her with my hands squared on my hips. “Are you serious? I said, please.”
“We came here for coffee this morning for our weekly Monday morning chats.” She waved a hand between herself and Niki. “I didn’t come here, and I am pretty sure Niki didn’t come here to be a part of your law and order scheme of the week.”
I gasped and held my hand to my chest.
“You two are my friends. You should be supporting me and encouraging me. Girl power. Women’s lib and whatever catch-phrase I can insert to get you two to help me.”
They both shook their heads like creepy twins in a horror movie if the twins looked nothing alike.
“He’s parked in a handicapped spot and doesn’t even have a tag.”
No handicapped license plate or tag hanging from his rearview mirror. This guy was the worst douche since douches were first created hundreds of years ago.
And yet, that wasn’t the real reason I wanted to fuck with him.
“I admit, that’s bad but not enough to mess with his car,” Niki said as she looked up from her phone to assess the situation.
“I won’t even touch his precious baby. Scout’s honor.” I held up two fingers.
“You were never a Girl Scout, even though I begged you to sign up in third grade so we could hoard all the cookies,” Emmie said as she held on to her purse as if I was about to snatch it from her. Which I was because it held the chalk.
“You could have been a Girl Scout.”
“You know my mom didn’t have the time or money to make that happen. And Niki’s mom kept sending her to tap lessons, so she never had time for Girl Scouts. You were our only hope.”
I rolled my eyes at the same fight we’ve been having for twenty years. I thought by twenty-eight she would be over the Girl Scouts cookie scheme, but the woman held a grudge like one size too small thong undies held on to an ass crack.
Pointing to the car, I said, “Can we focus on the problem at hand?”
“I have to get to work Willa. I run a company, and people depend on me to be on time. Just because you think this guy isn’t disabled in some way that would require this parking space, doesn’t mean you should punish him. You aren’t law enforcement. You’re a reporter. Maybe, instead, write a piece about people illegally parking in accessible parking spots.” Emmie said.
I bit my lip and let out a breath. “Was.”
“What?”
“I was a reporter. I got fired yesterday.”
Maybe that’s why I couldn’t let this go. Why did this guy get all the money while being a total asshat and yet I get fired from a job I didn’t like anyway? I needed work because of the same reason everyone needs a job: money.
My friends surrounded and enveloped me in a hug. It was times like these I was grateful to have them in my life. Their support and comfort and the kind words I knew would follow to help lift my spirits, were what got me through these rough times.
Niki pulled back and gazed at me with a frown. “What did you do this time?”
“Can your boss sue you for libel or was it something caught on tape?” Emmie added.
“Wow. The love right now it’s...overwhelming.” I said as I thinned my lips.
I pulled my hand behind my back, holding something I didn’t want them to know I had until the time was right and backed away.
“We’re sorry, Willa. It’s just you’ve been fired from every job you’ve ever had. Even the lemonade stand you made with Darci, your neighbor growing up. I remember when she fired you. Said you used too many lemons and the mix was sour.”
Darci was just stingy and wanted all the profits for herself. I was only doing that stand to be kind to her because my mom said she had no friends. I learned why she didn’t that day.
“You two are right. I was fired. I called my boss insane and a few other names I won’t repeat in front of such upstanding ladies.”
Niki snorted as Emmie smirked and shook her head.
“He went on about how the town had some secret society that catered to the wealthy that the elite of the country built Libertyville to act out their wild fantasies all under the disguise of a quiet suburban town. If that’s not crazy talk than I don’t know what is.”
Niki nodded, “Yup, he’s crazy.”
“See, Niki agrees and yet I’m the one being punished for being truthful. This guy who obviously has money can break the rules and get away with it? That’s wrong.”
“I know it’s not fair, but life was never promised to you on a silver platter. If you need money, I can always—”
“Stop. I’m not taking your money.”
Emmie had butt loads of the stuff. For a girl that grew up with a single mom who worked two jobs to feed her and her sister, she made good on the promise we made in this very parking lot fifteen years ago. Back when the Hella Ella Cafe was Sweetie Times Frozen Yogurt. The three of us would sit on the curb in summer, dreaming of what our lives would be when we grew up.
>
Emmie wanted to run a magazine. Not only did she own three different lifestyle magazine, but she was about to create a Vidtube series starring the lifestyle guru, Vera. The woman worked her ass off to make her dream come true.
Niki also wanted in the entertainment world, but as an actress. She was old Hollywood beautiful with bleach blond hair and big blue eyes. We all knew it was just a matter of time until she made it. She was as talented as she was gorgeous, two of the requirements to make it in the movies. But, as of yet, the most she had done was a few single appearances on network series. She was excited two years ago about a staring role in an indie film, but the movie never released.
These two were working on their dreams. While I took any job, I could get to pay bills.
“You know that series I’m creating would need some music. Something soft and universal but with your voice—”
“Again, not going to happen.”
It helps your dream come true if you worked on it. I dreamed of being a singer and working in the music industry. But how could someone become a singer if they were afraid of singing in front of people?
Technically, not all people. Just the ones I knew. I could sing to a crowd as long as I didn’t know anyone in it, which made it impossible as my friends and mom would walk through fire to support me by showing up. I loved them and loathed them for it.
“You wouldn’t have to sing with anyone around. I could set up time in a recording booth where you can’t see anyone and—”
I took a step back, closer toward the car, and held up what was hidden behind my back. The chalk.
“How did you...” Emmie dug through her bag but found it empty of her chalk. As put together and perfect as her life was, she had this weird revenge goal. In her eyes, if a business treated her and others poorly, she’d mark the outside of the building with chalk. Then she knew where to go when she had money to buy out the place and make it how she wanted. Niki and I nicknamed Emmie, the Mogul.
“Tiny body, tiny feet, but most importantly, tiny hands.” I held up my hands and wiggled my fingers. “It pays to be small.”
Marching over to the car, I bent over and began drawing on the black asphalt in front of the Maserati. It took longer than I suspected, and I was sweating by the time I was done, but it was worth it.
He deserved this for what he did.
“Parking only for those with tiny peens and fart breath.” A deep voice came from behind.
My eyes widened at the sound of the deep, velvety voice coming from behind. Slowly, I stood. Sparkling blue eyes that danced over my face met me as I turned. A wicked curl of thick, kissable lips caused my throat to dry up and mouth to cease from working.
“I like the tiny penises squirting curly cues. Makes the insult more fun.” He spoke again, but this time, he pushed thick blond hair that hung below his chin, behind his ear, revealing a dimple.
Fuck me sideways. This guy was gorgeous in a scruffy, rugged sort of way. And oddly familiar.
“Is, uh, this your car?” I asked, and inwardly prayed he’d say no.
“Yes.”
What could be worse than being fired yesterday? Being murdered by a wet dream.
Get the 0.99 cent pre-order price of IDOL now!
STORIES by ELIZABETH LYNX
New Releases
Cabin Fever, book 1 Lost & Found, standalone
Living Hell, book 2 Lost & Found, standalone
Upcoming Releases
Idol, book 1 Price of Fame, standalone novella, releases September 5th, 2019
Star, book 2 Price of Fame, standalone novella, releases September 26th, 2019
Mogul, book 3 Price of Fame, standalone novella, releases October 17th, 2019
Royal Disgrace, book 5 of Cake Love, standalone, releases November 7th, 2019
Lost & Found series - standalone
Dirty Secret, prequel, novella
Multi-Author
Happy New You
Cake Love Series - standalone
Rules of Payne, book 1, standalone
The Attraction File, book 2, standalone
One Wild Ride, book 3, standalone
The Spy Ring, book 4, standalone
Cake Love: Boxed Set, Books 1-4
Him Her Them Series
Her Night with Him
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ELIZABETH LYNX WAS a printer. She was also a graphic designer, photographer, actress, comedic improviser, merchandiser, and now adding author to that extensive list of professions.
She has written an erotic romance called Her Night with Him. Since she spent a lot of time training and moved halfway across the country to pursue comedy (much to her husband’s chagrin) only to change her mind and take up writing, Elizabeth decided to write a romantic comedy series called Cake Love.
Find out more about Elizabeth on her website: www.elizabeth-lynx.com
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THANK YOU
I ADMIT, WHEN I WROTE this book I was going through a difficult time. My father went into the hospital when I first started to write Living Hell and passed away a few weeks later. I had to push the release date of the book by a month. It hurt me to do it, but as my husband said to me: “You’re killing yourself for a book.”
My family, and especially, my mom needed me more than Iona & Tyler at the time. I finally gave in and pushed the release date to June. I am forever grateful for your patience with me during this difficult time.
I would like to thank the RomCom author friends for helping me during this difficult time. You all helped me with your kind words and going out of your way to tell anyone who would listen to by my books. You were my cheerleaders when I needed to focus on my family.
Also, my SWIM Meet peeps and ARCsters. You all are the best. You were supportive and patient and you have no idea how much that helped me. I love you guys!
I am so very thankful to my husband. If it wasn’t for you, this book would’ve killed me. My life was spinning out of control with grief and, as an only child, I felt it was my duty to take on everything. You were smart enough to tell me to cut it out and take a breath. I did and it made me realize I’m so very lucky to have you in my life.
And thank you to my boys. I know mommy wasn’t around much this past spring but you were so brave and helpful to your dad. I love you two so very much.
Living Hell (Lost and Found Book 2) Page 21