A South Texas Christmas

by Stella Bagwell

  Abruptly, while Neil’s thoughts were vacillating between Raine’s needs and Esther’s stiffness, the woman rose to her feet. “You two enjoy the rest of your meal,” she said to the two of them. “There’s something in the house I need to attend to.”

  After Esther disappeared into the house, Raine leaned back in her chair and rubbed a thumb and forefinger across her forehead.

  “God, why does she have to be this way?”

  Hearing the utter despair in her voice, Neil scooted his chair closer and reached for her hand. As he squeezed her fingers, he wanted to tell her that she needed to stand up to Esther Crockett, she needed to remind her mother that she was now a grown woman and she didn’t appreciate her bitter, demanding attitude. But he was the last person to be giving family relations advice, he reminded himself. Especially when he was barely on speaking terms with his own mother.

  “Don’t let it bother you, Raine. Everything will be okay. I’ll be gone from here in a few days and then I’m sure she’ll go back to normal.” Whatever normal was for Esther, he thought grimly.

  Dejected, Raine looked at him. “Your leaving won’t necessarily appease her. Remember, she’ll be thinking we’re engaged and she’ll be hounding me to give you the boot.”

  One corner of his mouth turned upward. “Then by all means, when that time comes you can give me the boot.”

  Sure. That was easy enough for him to say, Raine thought. Just end this farce of a relationship as though it didn’t mean anything to her.

  It doesn’t mean anything, Raine. Remember, you just met the man.

  The little voice racing through her mind stopped her short. This was all just a playact and soon Neil would be out of her life. She had to quit thinking about him in a personal way. She had to stop dwelling on their reckless embrace. But the memory of those moments seemed to have already been branded in her mind and the more she thought about the way she’d kissed him, the more she recognized that her response had been more than physical desire.

  True, the touch of his lips had set off a fire inside her, but beneath the flames she’d felt something strong and sweet, a connection to another human being that she’d never felt before. The realization frightened Raine to the very core of her being because she knew if she let her guard down, even for a minute, this man was going to walk away with her heart.

  The emotions roiling inside Raine made it impossible for her to look at him directly. Instead she kept her eyes focused on their entwined hands.

  “So. What do you think now that you’ve met my mother? Do you think there’s any chance that she might be Darla Carlton?”

  “It’s a bit early to be asking me that, don’t you think?”

  She darted a glance at him from the corner of her eye. “Probably. I guess I’d just like to hear your initial opinion.”

  Neil kept his sigh to himself. The last thing he wanted to do at this moment was to squash Raine’s hope. He was quickly beginning to see how very important this whole search was to her. Yet common sense told him that the chances of Esther and Darla being the same person were more than great. How would a woman who’d once been married to a New Mexican cattle baron end up here in Texas working as a housekeeper? It didn’t add up to him, but then strange things did happen in the world. And anyway, he had to have an excuse to stay a few more days, Neil decided. After the kiss Raine had given him a few minutes ago, he wasn’t about to walk away. The afterburners from that brief connection were still scorching him.

  “Okay,” he answered. “In my opinion the chances are slim. But I came here to investigate and we won’t really know for sure until I can come up with answers to some pertinent questions.”

  Raine nodded, her expression clearly worried. “That’s what I was thinking, too. But I really don’t know how you’re going to go about asking questions, Neil. You see how my mother is.”

  “Don’t start fretting now. Your mother isn’t the only person around here that might shed a bit of light on things. I’ll get some answers. It might just take a little longer, that’s all.”

  Raine looked at him squarely and her eyes were shaded with sad resignation. “I’m sorry she’s been so curt with you. Just try not to take it personally. No matter what sort of man I brought home to meet her, she’d resent him.”

  Wanting to soothe her somehow, Neil’s thumb caressed the top of her hand. “Don’t worry about me, Raine. I have a thick hide. I’m just wondering why your mother doesn’t want you to have a man in your life. Most mothers are jubilant about their daughters marrying and having children. I hate to say this, Raine, but in many aspects, your mother is—rather strange.”

  She sighed and there was such a lonely sound to it that Neil’s heart winced.

  “You don’t have to tell me that. It’s something I’ve lived with for as long as I can remember. From the time I was a very small girl, Mother has done all she could to control me. During my adolescent years she was so overly protective that what few little friends I had were forced to spend time with me here on the ranch or not at all. I wasn’t permitted to go to their homes or, God forbid, spend the night at a pajama party. My clothes always had to be sedate. And above everything, I was never to do anything that might draw attention to myself.”

  He studied her face in the waning light as he tried to imagine her as a young child, wanting and needing to feel as if she belonged with her peer group, but having her spirit tamped down by a controlling mother. The image was disturbing to Neil. Almost as much as his own memories as a child and the sound of Claudia shouting unreasonable demands at his father, of things being thrown and broken, of James’s low voice attempting to placate her and the haggard sadness he constantly wore on his face.

  “I can’t imagine what your teenage years must have been like,” he murmured as he tried to push away his own dark memories.

  Stirring, she pulled her hand from his and rose to her feet. Neil watched her amble aimlessly around the patio. She was still wearing the same powder-blue dress she’d had on when they’d met at the river walk. The soft fabric clung to her curves like a gentle hand. Her whole appearance was both sexy and sophisticated, making it quite obvious that she’d emerged from her mother’s thumb. But Neil wondered at what cost.

  “They weren’t pleasant years, I can tell you that much. While my friends were dating and choosing prom gowns I stayed at home and dreamed.”

  Since Neil was a guy, he couldn’t fully appreciate the importance of those things to a teenage girl, but he had a fairly good idea. It would be like him being kept off the debate team, when he’d fancied himself as being the best arguer in the whole high school.

  “You mean she wouldn’t allow you to go to your prom?” he asked with disbelief.

  Raine shook her head as she absently fingered the leaf of a rosebush climbing a post supporting the patio roof. “Oh, I had permission to go. But I didn’t. Being a dowdily dressed wallflower was not my idea of a good time.” Her face was a picture of puzzlement as she walked back over to where Neil remained seated in the lawn chair. “Sometimes I wonder if my mother had some sort of bad experience with a man. Something she hasn’t told me about. That’s the only thing I can imagine to explain why she’s so averse to me getting into a relationship. Maybe she thinks I’ll be hurt like she was. What else could it be?”

  He turned one hand up in a helpless gesture. “I’m just a lawyer, Raine, not a therapist. And I’m not good with family issues. I’m more of a one-on-one guy.”

  He didn’t have to tell Raine that bit of information: she’d encountered it firsthand and she was already inclined to believe he’d changed her life forever. Just looking at him sitting here in the twilight was enough to make her heart thud with longing, a longing too deep to be rational.

  Annoyed with her reckless thoughts, she busied herself with picking up their paper plates and dirty glasses. “If you’re finished eating, maybe we’d better go inside. She’s probably in there stewing.”

  Neil rose to his feet and reached for t
he tray before Raine had a chance to. “Yeah. It’s probably time I head over to Goliad and find a motel room.”

  Raine paused long enough to look up at him and suddenly all the attraction she’d been feeling for the man tumbled into one hot image. Him in a motel room, undressed and in bed. Her in his arms.

  “I—I wished you didn’t have to drive anymore tonight. I’m sure Geraldine would be glad for you to stay in the ranch house with her.”

  With a brief smile of appreciation, Neil shook his head. “The woman hasn’t even met me yet. And I don’t want to start intruding on anyone here on the Sandbur. It won’t hurt for me to drive fifteen miles or so.”

  He started toward the back entrance of the house and Raine followed alongside him. “I’m going to be indebted to you for life,” she said. “You’re going to a lot of trouble just for me.”

  They reached the door and he turned his head to glance at her. “Remember, Raine, there’s someone else I’m doing this for, too.”

  In other words, he wasn’t going to all these extra lengths just for her, she thought. The reminder hit her like a whack in the face, yet she told herself that she’d needed it. She had to stop all these personal thoughts she was having about the man.

  “Yes, you’re right,” she said with a forced smile. “So I won’t feel too guilty about making you work overtime.”

  She opened the door and the two of them entered the house. They found Esther in the kitchen making a fresh pot of coffee. The moment she heard their footsteps, she glanced over her shoulder and Neil was mildly shocked to see something close to a smile on the woman’s face.

  “I thought you might want some dessert and coffee,” she explained. “Cook made red velvet cake for supper and I brought plenty home with me.”

  Neil placed the tray on the cabinet counter, then glanced to where Raine stood next to a wooden dining table. She looked as perplexed by this development as he felt. “That’s very nice of you, Mrs. Crockett. I’d enjoy a piece of cake before I leave.”

  Clearly surprised by his announcement, the older woman turned to stare at him. “Leave? You’re planning on leaving the ranch tonight? I got the impression you were here for a little visit.”

  “Neil needs to rent a motel room,” Raine informed her.

  Esther’s gaze switched quickly from her daughter over to Neil. “That’s not necessary,” she said quickly, her expression guarded. “I have plenty of room here for you and Raine. There’s no need for either of you to drive over to Goliad tonight.”

  While Neil was trying to digest Esther’s unexpected offer, Raine said, “Neil will be staying for more than one night, Mother.”

  Shrugging, Esther turned her attention back to the double sink where a handful of dishes were soaking in soapy water. As she picked up a saucer and swiped a sponge over its surface, she said, “No matter. He’s welcome to stay a few days.”

  Neil’s gaze slipped over to Raine and he could see by the stunned look on her face that she was just as astonished as he was. He could also see she was troubled about something. Probably worrying that Esther would discover the real reason for his being here on the Sandbur, he figured.

  Moving to Raine’s side, he slipped an arm around the back of her waist and gave her a little reassuring smile. She acknowledged his touch with a glance, but didn’t return his smile.

  “That’s awfully generous of you, Mrs. Crockett,” he said to Esther. “Thank you.”

  “Yes, thank you, Mother,” Raine added stiffly. “It will make it much easier for Neil and I to spend time together.”

  Neil gently pinched her side to get her attention, then made a motion with his head for the two of them to exit the kitchen.

  “Uh, Raine, could you show me the bathroom? I need to freshen up before we have cake and coffee with your mother,” he said.

  With a wary glance at him, she said, “Sure.” And then to her mother, added, “We’ll be back in a few moments.”

  Raine nudged him toward an open doorway on the opposite side of the room and once the two of them were out of the kitchen and back into the living room, she pointed toward a short hallway. “The bathroom is right there on the right,” she informed him.

  “Yeah, I see.” Neil took her by the arm and pulled her along with him until they were both standing in the darkness of the hallway where he was sure they couldn’t be seen or heard by Raine’s mother. With one hand retaining a hold on her shoulder, he admitted, “I did need to find the bathroom. But I thought we should talk. You looked almost sick in there when your mother invited me to stay. What’s the matter? Are you getting cold feet now?”

  Even though they were standing in the darkness, she didn’t chance looking at him. Her face was hot and no telling what he might see in her eyes. “Let’s not go into that again,” she murmured.

  “Then what’s worrying you? And don’t tell me you’re not worried. I could see it all over your face.”

  Dear God, was she becoming that transparent? Raine wondered. But no, if she was wearing all of her feelings on her face, then he would know her worries had little to do with her mother and a whole lot to do with staying under the same roof with him when he was constantly touching her, looking at her as though he adored her. It was more distraction than an inexperienced woman like her could handle.

  “Well, actually I guess I am a little concerned,” she said slowly. “I can’t figure what Mother is up to. Inviting you to stay here is almost too nice. I’m afraid she’s doing it so she can pick you apart.”

  Neil gave her a wry smile. “Honey, she’s doing it so she can keep an eye on us. If you go back to your apartment in Goliad and I go to rent a motel room, then she can’t be sure that the two of us won’t wind up in bed together. Here under her roof, she can make sure we don’t.”

  As Neil’s words began to sink in on her, Raine’s face grew even hotter than it already was. She didn’t know what was more embarrassing—her mother’s manipulation, or the fact that Raine had already envisaged the two of them in bed together.

  “Oh Lord, I should have expected her to be thinking along those lines. But I guess I keep hoping she’ll start to treat me as a grown woman.” Groaning, she shook her head. “Looks like that hasn’t happened yet.”

  Neil squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t worry about her motives,” he urged. “She’s actually helping our cause. I’ll be right here on the ranch—with you,” he added.

  The low, suggestive tone of his voice sent warning signals clanging in the back of Raine’s head and she choked back another groan before he could guess how much he was affecting her. “You make it sound like we really are lovers.”

  His hand slipped upward from her shoulder until he was cupping the side of her neck. Raine felt goose bumps dance along her arms and bosom.

  “I wouldn’t be averse to making that part of our story true,” he whispered huskily. “What about you?”

  Her jaw fell and she whispered loudly, “Is this what you call behaving like a gentleman?”

  He chuckled. “I am being a gentleman, Raine. Otherwise, you’d already be in my arms. Like this.”

  He tugged her forward and Raine was shocked to find herself clamped tightly to the front of his body.

  She squirmed in an attempt to escape the circle of his arms, but the movement only made things worse. His body was as hard as a rock and she could feel the softness of her own curves gladly yielding to every inch of him.

  If he kissed her again, she desperately feared she would go up in flames. “Neil—you…”

  “Raine. The coffee is ready.”

  The sound of her mother’s voice calling out to her was enough to break Neil’s hold on her and she backed away from him with a sigh of relief. Or was the sudden surge of feelings inside her more like regret? Dear Lord, the man was making her crazy!

  Glancing up at his grinning face, she muttered, “I’ll see you in the kitchen.”

  She turned to go, but before she could slip away from him, his hand reached out and caressed
the length of her arm.

  “Relax, Raine. You look like a storm is about to blow in.”

  No, she thought, the storm had already hit. Now she could only hope the damage left behind wouldn’t be the remnants of her heart.

  Chapter Seven

  The next morning Raine was in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee when she heard footsteps on the tile behind her.

  Knowing it was Neil, she braced herself as she added cream to her cup, then turned to face him. This morning he was dressed casually in Levi’s and a blue plaid shirt. The color made his eyes just that more vivid and the worn jeans outlined his long, muscular legs much more than the dress pants he’d been wearing yesterday. He looked rugged and sexy and far too potent for any normal girl to handle and especially a girl who’d spent most of the night tossing and turning and trying to get the man out of her mind.

  “Good morning,” she greeted.

  Smiling, he walked over to the cabinet where she was standing. “Good morning. Got any more of that?” he asked, inclining his head toward her coffee cup.

  “A whole pot.” She opened the cabinet and took down a green cup that matched hers. As she filled it with coffee, she said, “I was just wondering whether I should wake you up before I left for work.”

  Neil glanced at his watch. “Am I late? It’s only seven-thirty.”

  Smiling faintly, she handed him the cup. “We don’t keep lawyer’s hours here on the ranch, Neil. Matt would say we’re already burning daylight.”

  “Matt?”

  “Matteo Sanchez. He’s the general manager of the ranch and oversees the cattle operation.”

  “Oh, yeah, I remember now. You said something about two more family members running the ranch, didn’t you?” Neil asked. “Sorry I don’t remember their names. Yesterday was a long day.”

  Smiling faintly, Raine turned back to the cabinet. “Matt’s younger brother, Cordero, manages the ranch’s working remuda, plus the horses that are trained and sold. And their cousin, Lex Saddler, does a little of everything in between, including sales and shipping.”