The room was small but very nicely equipped with leather furniture, a wide oak desk and leather office chair, and plenty of plants to soften the atmosphere. The blinds at the windows were pulled open to expose a portion of the lawn at the back of the house that was shaded by a huge live oak. Beneath the sagging branches, a bird feeder sat on a tall marble pedestal. At the moment, however, two squirrels had taken over the small platform and were sitting on their haunches munching pieces of grain while several mockingbirds were content to sit on the ground beneath and catch the droppings.
“This is nice. Very nice,” Neil said. “I could get used to an office like this.”
Leaving her side, he walked over to a built-in stereo system and began to thumb through a stack of CDs located on a nearby shelf. “If these belong to you, it looks like you enjoy all sorts of music. I even see some jazz and standards here.”
She laughed softly at the surprise she heard in his voice. “People in Texas do listen to more than country music. If you visit Austin at night, you can hear all sorts of bands playing in the different clubs around the city. While I was living there, attending university, I acquired a taste for all kinds of music. That was one of the nicest things about the city. Otherwise, well…it was an experience.”
Her voiced trailed away to a mumble and he squinted a puzzled look at her. “An experience? You sound as though you didn’t like it.”
Wishing she hadn’t mentioned that time in her life, Raine walked over to the windows and pretended an interest in the squirrels. “It was okay. I’m just not a city girl.”
He studied her, his gaze curious. “Maybe not. But surely it was nice to get out from under your mother’s thumb and spread your wings. That’s the way most young college students feel. That they’re finally free from their parents strings.”
Only some of them spread their wings too far, she thought dismally. And she’d been one of them. Closing her eyes against the discomforting memory, she said, “Oh, yes, at first, I was so glad to be away from the Sandbur and Mother that I was euphoric. I’d never been away from her, even for one night and I suddenly felt like I’d been let out of prison. I couldn’t see everything, do everything fast enough to suit me.”
He walked up behind her. “Hmm. Sounds like fun to me.”
She sighed. “It was. Until I made mistakes.”
Neil reached up and brushed his fingers down the back of her hair. He’d never felt such, soft silky hair before. He’d thought all women put those gooey products in their hair to make it bigger or straighter or to stay in place. Apparently Raine’s was left to its natural state and he liked it that way. The honey-brown color glistened in the sunlight filtering through the windows and sparkled with streaks of gold. He snared a lock and lazily coiled it round and round his forefinger.
“All young people make mistakes,” he said gently. “It’s part of growing up, learning to be adults. I’m sure yours were very minor. What happened? You got thrown in jail for upholding the habitat of the spotted lizard?”
Laughing softly, she turned to face him. “Spotted lizard? I doubt there’s such a creature. And no, I didn’t get thrown in jail. What kind of woman do you think I am, anyway?”
Lovely, sensitive and caring, he thought. The sort of woman he always wanted to be around. Even in those golden years she’d talked about. The realization of his thoughts stunned him a little and it was a moment before he could reply.
“Perfect. Just perfect.”
Her laugh was faint and full of disbelief and then for a split second, before she looked away from him, he saw her eyes fill with dark shadows.
“What a charmer you are, Neil Rankin. You shouldn’t be allowed around women. You’re lethal.”
Chuckling, he brought his arms around her waist. “I’ve been told that before. But I don’t know of any woman dying from being close to me. Wanta let me prove it?”
Her eyes lifted back to his handsome face and the sexy little grin curving his lips. Yes! Oh, yes, her mind shouted the answer. The thought of being in his arms, making love to him was beginning to completely take her over. And though she’d been trying to fight the desire he stirred in her, she was slowly beginning to ask herself why resisting was so important. True, nothing could ever come of a physical relationship with him. But she wasn’t looking for anything permanent anyway. Presently she was looking for her father. She needed to find the man, get to know him and the roots of her past before she could truly settle down with a husband. So what would it hurt to enjoy this time with Neil?
“Maybe. Just for a moment,” she murmured, then leaned forward and laid her cheek against his chest.
Her action prompted him to draw her close and circle his arms around her back. Raine closed her eyes and breathed in the lingering scent of his expensive cologne, the faint odor of dried sweat upon his shirt and the elusive but evocative smell of his skin.
“See. I’m not a bit fatal.”
Only to her heart, Raine thought, as she snuggled her cheek a bit closer to his warm, muscled chest.
“Now tell me about it,” he urged.
Tilting her head back, she glanced up at him. Did he really expect her to remember what they’d been talking about when just the touch of his hand upon her back was scattering her senses?
“About what?”
“The mistakes you made in college that still have you feeling so regretful.”
She lowered her face to where all she could see was the blue plaid of his shirt. “Oh that. It was…not that important.”
“I think you’re fibbing to me now. I could see remorse on your face.”
Daring a glance at him, she asked, “What are you, a face reader?”
The smile that crept across his face was both impish and provocative. Raine could feel her heart thumping with anticipation.
“Of course. Do you think I’d be any good at my profession if I couldn’t read people’s expressions? Especially beautiful women with sad faces?”
Leaning her head away from his chest, she looked up at him. “I’m not sad, Neil. Ashamed is more like it.”
He gently shook his head. “I can’t imagine you doing anything to be ashamed of.”
She heaved out a heavy breath. “I was young and naive then, Neil. And like Mother told Geraldine, I was sheltered. So much so that I knew very little about being out in the real world. Especially when it came to men. But I was—let’s just say I was eager to spread my wings, do all the things my mother had preached for me not to do.”
“Well, honey, that’s typical. Nothing to be ashamed of there.”
Raine’s head swung slowly back and forth. “Maybe not. But I was so stupid—so foolish. I met a guy, Scott. He was my age and a college student, too. I liked him the moment I met him and we hit it off really well. Eventually we got close—too close. But I thought he cared for me—” She made a sound of disgust in her throat. “It didn’t take me long to learn that he cared about one thing and I don’t have to tell you what it was.”
His hand began to slip up and down her back in long, soothing strokes. “Surely you don’t think you’re the first young girl who’s been fooled by a randy college boy. You need to forget it. Erase it from your mind.”
“I can’t.”
His thumb and forefinger lifted her chin and forced her eyes to meet his. “Why? Because you loved him? Still love him?”
“Dear heaven, no! I’m not even sure I loved him at the time our affair happened. It’s just that before I left for Austin, mother preached to me, warned me about being taken advantage of by a man and I believed she was going overboard as usual. I had always had this idea that she simply gave me these warnings because she didn’t want me to enjoy myself—that she wanted to keep me caged away from life. But after the disaster with Scott I had to admit to myself that Mother had been right all along and I’d been stupid for not listening to her advice. In fact, I think I jumped into Scott’s bed because I—maybe I wanted to defy her.”
Moisture clouded her eyes
and Neil felt his heart squeeze with pain. He never wanted to see a tear on Raine’s face. He never wanted to see her troubled or unhappy. Not if he could do anything about it.
“That’s understandable, Raine. But you shouldn’t be beating yourself up over what happened. You learned from the experience. And that’s all any of us can do when we make mistakes. They’re learning tools—not sins.”
Groaning, Raine pulled away from him and walked across the small room. With her back to him, she said in a pained voice, “You don’t understand, Neil. She was right. My mother was right about Scott, right about me getting hurt and being foolish and what if—” Her expression filled with apprehension, she whirled around to face him. “Maybe Mother is right now, Neil! I mean, about me searching for my father. Maybe I will just stir up trouble. It could even cause someone from her past to reappear and threaten her!”
“Raine, Raine,” he scolded softly as he moved across the room to her. “You’re getting all bent out of shape over nothing. No one knows about this search except us.”
She caught her lip between her teeth. “And your client,” she reminded him.
He put his hands on her shoulders and drew her body up against his. She went willingly into his arms and he smiled to himself as her hands slipped up his chest, then linked at the back of his neck.
“Believe me, he won’t stir up anything. In fact, he doesn’t know the details of where I am or who I’m with. He only knows that I’m somewhere in Texas looking for someone who might be Darla Carlton.” His hand came up to caress her cheek. “But right at this moment I’m looking at my beautiful fiancée.”
She grimaced. “Your fake fiancée, remember.”
“Funny, you don’t feel a bit fake to me,” he murmured with pleasure.
Raine sensed the kiss was coming even before she saw his head bending down to her and this time she didn’t bother asking herself whether it was right or wrong. Neil made her feel things, think things that were good. Too good to turn away from.
“You’re bad, Neil Rankin. Bad for a girl like me,” she whispered.
His only reply was a soft chuckle and then his lips were on hers searching every curve and coaxing them apart with a skill that left Raine only too glad to open her mouth. As she accepted the warm invasion of his tongue, she felt his hands drawing her closer until her breasts were flattened against him and the juncture of her thighs was touching the bulge inside his jeans.
A groan sounded from deep inside him and the sensual sound shot searing heat through her body like a glowing arrow leaving flames in its wake. Everything inside her began to melt, especially her common sense. And she moaned helplessly and gripped the back of his neck as her knees turned to useless mush.
“Oh, Raine, this shouldn’t feel so good, so sweet,” he murmured the words upon her lips. “But it does. And I don’t want to stop. I want to lay you down on that couch over there and make love to you. You know that, don’t you?”
Her heart was beating so rapidly in her throat that she could barely whisper her answer. “Yes.”
“Your lips tell me that you want the same thing.”
The fact that he’d so easily read the desire she was feeling for him was enough to shake her, yet she couldn’t deny it. Not when it was so obvious to both of them.
“Yes.”
The one word came out on a sigh and as it drifted away, he cupped her face with his hands and placed another long, deep kiss upon her lips that left her gulping for air and her hands clenching his shoulders.
“I’ve wanted to make love to you since we first met at the river. And I think you felt the same way, too.”
His erotic words were painting a picture that made her heart pound and aching heat pool between her thighs. She tried to swallow, to think, to do anything but simply fall into his arms and let him have his way.
“You’re crazy, Neil,” she whispered fervently. “That kind of attraction takes longer than—”
“Than what?” he interrupted. “Minutes? Hours? Days? I don’t need that much time to tell me that I want you.”
“I’m not one of your playgirls,” she managed to utter as his lips began to nibble hungrily at her ear. “I—”
“And I’m not some college boy like the one who destroyed your golden idea about love. And you’re not that same gullible teenager. You’re all grown up and ready to have a real relationship.”
Real. Funny he should use that word, Raine thought, when everything about their relationship was pretend. Except for the way she was beginning to want him with every fiber of her being.
While she’d been trying to gather her senses, his lips had drifted downward from her ear and were now making a slow steady trail along the front V of her shirt. She was shaking inside and she expected he could hear the loud, rapid thud of her heart as he pressed his lips upon her hot skin.
“What are you calling real?” she murmured between quick sips of air.
“Go lock the door and I’ll show you.”
The blunt suggestion was like a hard shake to her shoulders and she reared her upper body away from his and stared at him. “Neil! We’re in my office! You may use yours for sex, but mine is meant for working!”
He chuckled like a wolf on the verge of eating a tasty rabbit. “We’re working. At least it’s got your heart rate up.”
With one hard jerk, Raine was out of his arms and heading toward the door. “Go ahead and make jokes,” she flung over her shoulder. “But I’m not staying around to hear them.”
Before she could open the door and scoot out of the little office, Neil caught up to her and snatched a hold on her arm. Her lips were clamped tightly together as she turned around to face him.
“Whoa, girl. What’s the matter?” he softly questioned. “Don’t tell me you didn’t want to be in my arms. I know when a woman wants me.”
No doubt, Raine thought. He’d had plenty of practice.
“I’m sure,” she said shakily. “But wanting is as far as it’s going with this woman.”
Neil rolled his eyes helplessly toward the ceiling. “I don’t understand you, Raine. Just a minute ago you were all warm and giving. Now you’re acting like an outraged virgin. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She oughtn’t to have to tell him, Raine thought dismally. He should already understand that if she had sex with him, she would want it to mean something. At least something more than a laugh and a few pleasurable minutes. Maybe that meant she was still naive. Or perhaps she was just hopelessly old-fashioned. Either way, she couldn’t explain it. Not without making herself look and sound like an idiot.
Her shoulders sagged; her expression fell flat. “Nothing, Neil. It’s just me. I made a fool of myself with one guy. I’m just not ready to…get involved again. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be.” She turned back to the door before he had the opportunity to make any sort of reply. “I’m going back to the house. Do you want to come along? Or would you rather look around the ranch a bit more on your own?”
He sighed. “I think I’ll hang around here for a while. I might inadvertently stumble onto some interesting information.”
Raine’s lips were still tingling from his kisses and as she glanced over her shoulder at him, she realized with shocking disgust that she would like nothing better than to lock the door and step right back into his arms.
“All right. I’ll—see you later on, then.”
Nodding, he let loose of her arm and reached up to graze her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “Forgive me?”
Dear God, why did everything he did and say make her heart melt like sweet chocolate in her mouth?
Through a wobbly smile, she murmured, “Of course.”
Chapter Ten
In all of his dealings with women, Neil couldn’t remember a time he’d let one shake or disturb him. He either wanted them or he didn’t; he won or he lost. It was all just a physical game to him. But whichever way the wind blew, he could easily walk away.
So why was he still pacing around
Raine’s office, wondering where he’d gone wrong and wondering, too, when his hands were going to stop shaking?
Damn it, this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be going, he thought. He’d come down here to Texas on a whim really. Because a young woman’s sweet voice had gotten to him. And when he’d met her in person. Well, right now he didn’t want to think of how bowled over he’d been the moment he’d looked into her pretty green eyes. It made him feel like a damn adolescent. And now. Hell, he should never have expected her to be just any woman. He should have known she was one of the marrying types. Not that she’d said such, but it was obvious she didn’t want sex without commitment. And he couldn’t give her the latter, so that meant one thing. He had to keep his hands to himself.
Yeah, right. And how was he supposed to do that, he asked himself, when all he could think about was making love to the woman. Not just once, but over and over until he got this obsessive need out of his system.
With Quito’s warning about falling for a pair of pretty eyes dashing through his head, Neil left the office and looked for the nearest exit. He found it a few feet down the hallway where a door opened onto the area of the lawn that could be viewed from Raine’s office windows.
There was no one about this side of the house and Neil decided the cool shade of the live oaks would be as good a place as any to place a call to his secretary.
He’d promised to call the woman yesterday when he first arrived in San Antonio, but he’d not taken the time and he figured right about now she was probably chomping at the bit to hear from him.
Thankfully his cell phone reached Connie’s desk loud and clear and he smiled as her voice practically shouted in his ear.
“Neil! Why the heck didn’t you call me yesterday? Are you okay? What’s happened?”
Sinking onto an iron bench, he leaned back and focused on the pair of red squirrels who continued to do away with the birdseed. “Slow down, Connie. I’m okay. I just got busy yesterday after my plane landed. I meant to call, but you know how things go.”
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