I want you to be strong when you face your mother. Neil’s words were the only thing keeping Raine going at the moment. She repeated them over and over as she straightened her shoulders and drew in a bracing breath.
“Because I don’t have an hour,” Raine said firmly. “We need to talk now.”
Esther’s brows lifted in surprise, then she shot an accusing glance at Neil before she finally made a move toward the door. “All right,” she said, then glancing over her shoulder at Cook, she added, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Never no mind this mess,” the old woman assured her. “We got all day.”
The three of them trooped outside and stood just beyond the view of the kitchen windows. In the distance Raine could see Lex and Cordero crossing the ranch yard together. The two men were both dressed in chaps and long sleeved shirts which could only mean they would be rounding up cattle today. The sight of them suddenly made her heart ache with bittersweet wonder. Were they really her cousins?
“All right,” Esther said, breaking the tense silence. “What’s this all about? Are you two ending your engagement or something?”
Raine couldn’t look at Neil for his response. It was far too painful.
“We’re here for the something else,” Neil spoke up, then placing his hand against Raine’s back he said in a gentle voice, “Go on, Raine. Ask her all the things you want to know.”
Sensing something out of the ordinary was going on, Esther opened her mouth to speak, but before she could Raine said stiffly, “I’ve found out who you really are, Mother. Do you want to hear? Or would you rather tell me yourself?”
Esther’s hand flew to her throat and her mouth fell open. “Wh-at—what are you talking about? I’m Esther Crockett, everyone knows that.”
Raine swallowed as emotion threatened to overtake her. From the moment she was old enough to remember this was the woman she’d loved and trusted. To think all those years had been riddled with lies was cutting straight to Raine’s heart.
“Really? I always thought Esther Crockett was a made-up name. When you were found on the highway you didn’t have any identification. And since you had amnesia you had to come up with some sort of name to use. At least that’s what you’ve always told everyone.”
Esther suddenly took on an offended look. “Are you, my own daughter, trying to say I’m a liar?” She shot a daggered glower at Neil. “You’ve put this into her head, haven’t you?”
“Don’t try to spin this off on him, Mother. This is about you and me and the lies you’ve been living. Your name is really Darla, isn’t it? Darla Ketchum Carlton.”
Even though her face had gone deathly white, Esther tried to laugh. “You must be joking. I’ve never heard of the woman. This ranch is owned by the Ketchum family. Don’t you think they’d know if I were related?”
“Not if you came from New Mexico—from the T Bar K ranch,” Neil interjected. “I suppose you’ve never heard of Linc Ketchum, either. Or the late Randolf.”
The moment Linc’s name came out, Esther’s face began to crumple and suddenly she was crying. Something Raine had never witnessed before.
“Oh God. My little boy. My son,” she whispered hoarsely. “Is he—” The accusation on her face had evaporated and now she looked pleadingly at Neil. “Tell me that he’s okay.”
“He is. No thanks to you. He’s still on the T Bar K and recently married.”
The woman looked visibly relieved. “Thank God.”
As Raine stood next to Neil, she realized she was seeing an entirely different person than the one she’d known as her mother and she didn’t know whether to be frightened or happy or angry. As it was, all three emotions were raging a war inside her and she felt so weak from the turmoil she had to lean against Neil to stay upright.
“Then you are Darla,” Raine stated dazedly. “You’ve been lying to me for all of my life!”
Esther quickly stepped forward and started to reach for Raine, but she avoided her mother’s touch by clinging even closer to Neil.
“You don’t understand, Raine. I had my reasons. Maybe I was wrong—I mean, yes, I was wrong. But at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. Then later—it was too late to change and I was too afraid to try.”
Raine felt so stunned she couldn’t say anything. Finally Neil suggested they walk over to a group of lawn chairs shaded by a cluster of crepe myrtle trees.
“Why don’t you start from the beginning, Darla-Esther or whatever you want to be called,” Neil said to her after the three of them were seated.
Raine watched her mother mull that thought over and realized with stunned fascination that she’d gone all these years with a false name and a life left behind.
“Maybe—maybe you’d better call me Darla. I think it’s time I quit hiding.”
Feeling a spurt of strength returning, Raine scooted to the edge of her chair so that she was facing her mother head-on. “Hiding? Is that what you’ve been doing all these years?”
Darla nodded, then glanced knowingly at Neil. “You’re not really from San Antonio are you?”
Neil shook his head. “You probably don’t remember me, I only met you in passing once. But I was Linc’s buddy when we were growing up as kids. I was on the ranch that day you left with Jaycee Carlton. Linc and I watched from horseback as you drove away. He never saw you again. He figured you were dead. Or—that you didn’t care.”
Esther pushed a shaky hand through her graying hair. “Oh, I cared all right. But Linc was like his father—he loved the T Bar K more than he did me.”
Amazed at what he was hearing, Neil stared at her. “You shouldn’t have put him in a position of choosing between you and his home. Especially when you were going off with a man he didn’t even know!”
More tears oozed from Darla’s eyes as though all the heartache she’d been feeling the past twenty-four years was trying to escape all at once.
“You’re right. I was not a good mother back then. Oh, I tried to be, but I was getting so much grief from Randolf that I’m afraid I neglected Linc. I’m sure he’ll never forgive me for that or—anything else,” she said, her voice trailing away to a whisper.
“Tell me, Mother, is this Linc my brother? Just who is my father?” Raine demanded.
Darla dabbed at her eyes and tried to collect herself. “Linc is your brother, honey. Your father was Randolf Ketchum. Your grandparents were Nate and Sara.”
Chapter Fifteen
Raine gasped and jerked her head around to stare at Neil. He looked equally stunned. The two of them had been standing over Nate’s and Sara’s graves less than an hour ago. At the time, neither of them had been certain of the connection, but now the truth was finally out. He reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly.
“Then—then my father is dead,” Raine whispered painfully. “All of this—only to find that’s he gone. I’ll never have the chance to know him!” Her head snapped around and she stared at her mother with accusation. “Why didn’t you tell me all this before? How could you let me wish and hope and wonder? How could you be that—that cruel to me?”
Darla shook her head with remorse. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel, Raine. I didn’t know what else to do. You see, when I was discovered nearly dead on the side of the highway, I hadn’t been in a car accident as you’d assumed, I’d been beaten by two men. I’m sure their intentions were to kill me and no doubt when they left me there, they figured I was dead.”
“Wait a minute,” Neil spoke up. “Just back up and explain from the beginning. How did these men get to you and what was the connection? Where was Jaycee in all of this?”
Groaning, Darla said, “I’d better start even before Jaycee, because my problems started long before he came into my life. As you know, I was married to Randolf for years and I loved the man with all my heart. But unknown to a lot of people he was just like his brother, Tucker. He loved women and didn’t think twice about playing around, the only difference Randolf had with his brother w
as that he kept his adulterous behavior hidden. As the years wore on, I begged him to leave the ranch and go elsewhere. I thought, foolishly I suppose, that if he was away from his brother’s bad influence, he might change his ways. But Randolf refused and I didn’t want to leave him because I loved him. He was the father of my son and Linc adored him. I didn’t want to tear up the family.
“Then Randolf developed a heart condition. It seemed to be worsening and I begged him to leave the ranch to see a specialist. He promised that he would and also promised to change his ways. He said that he’d always loved me and that the other women had never meant anything to him. We made love in spite of his ill health, and for the first time in years I felt there was hope for our marriage. But that newfound happiness only lasted a few short weeks before he died of a heart attack.”
Raine released a painful sob and Neil slipped a comforting arm around her shoulders.
Darla wiped at her tears and continued. “Randolf’s death left such a hole in me that I latched on to the first man who came across my path. Unfortunately it was Jaycee Carlton. He’d been passing through Aztec on his way to Colorado. He owned a construction company in San Antonio and had plenty of money, so he said. He promptly promised me the moon and I fell hook, line and sinker for everything he said. Little did I know that he’d been robbing his own company and was also involved with a Mexican mafia. He owed them money. And lots of it.”
Neil looked at her as he tried to keep the story straight in his mind. “So is that who finally caught up to you?”
Darla nodded grimly. “I think so. They ran us down on the highway, jerked me out of the car and started using their fists. Before I lost consciousness I saw them drive away with Jaycee and later I heard they’d found him dead down by the border.”
Neil nodded. “That’s right. I was able to gather that much information. But no one knew what had happened to Darla.”
Heaving out a heavy sigh, she turned her attention to Raine and her eyes were full of sorrow. “When I first woke up in the hospital in Fredericksburg, I truly did have amnesia. I didn’t know my name or anything that had happened. But after a few days when everything began to heal, my memory returned and I was terrified. The doctor told me I was pregnant and I knew for certain that Randolf was the father. I didn’t want anyone to search me out and harm my unborn child. Nor did I want them to trace me back to Linc or the T Bar K. I was afraid they would either harm him or try to extort money. That’s why I made up the name Esther Crockett.”
Raine numbly shook her head. “You say you know for certain that Randolf was my father. How? If you were married to this Jaycee person—”
“But I wasn’t,” Darla quickly interrupted. “Everyone back in New Mexico thought we’d gotten married. But actually the ceremony hadn’t happened yet. We were going to travel to Las Vegas and have a quick wedding there. The two of us never actually—we never had a physical relationship. I was holding out until the ceremony and later, after I realized I’d been duped—well, I was glad I’d been old-fashioned.”
Raine couldn’t say anything to that. Not when she’d made the mistake of giving herself to Neil without any hope of marriage. Oh God, why had she been so foolish? He was only passing through, too. She’d known that, yet she’d not been able to stop her heart from tumbling straight into his hands.
Doing her best to shake her thoughts away from her situation with Neil, Raine asked her mother, “What about Geraldine and the other Ketchums here on the Sandbur? Do they know who you really are?”
Darla shook her head. “No. It was just by chance that I wound up working in a bank that they used in San Antonio. It didn’t take me long to figure out they were Randolf’s sisters, so when they offered me a job here I jumped at the chance. It made me feel safer to know I was among family and I have always hoped that the people who killed Jaycee would never track me to this ranch.”
“So no one else here on the ranch, including Geraldine, knows about the Ketchums in New Mexico?” Neil asked with a bewildered frown. “How can that be?”
By now Darla had collected herself somewhat. Even though her face was pasty-white, her tears were dried. “It’s a long story and I don’t know everything that happened, but it had something to do with Nate’s death. It caused the family to split and the two Ketchum sons left out on their own. From what I’ve been able to glean from Geraldine, and Elizabeth before she died, they were told their brothers died in some sort of plane accident down in Mexico.”
“How very strange,” Raine murmured.
Neil glanced at her and smiled. “Honey, it sounds like that’s a whole other mystery. But at least we have yours solved.”
Her head dipped as she swallowed a lump of hot tears. “Yes. My father is dead. But thankfully I now know who he is.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “You’re missing the good part, Raine. You have a brother. A wonderful brother, I might add. He’s going to be so happy to find out about you.”
She lifted her head and looked at him through a glaze of tears. “You really think so?”
“No doubt.”
Across from them, Darla cleared her throat. “Well, I’m sure Linc will never want to see me. I can’t—blame him for that. But at least I can keep up with his life through Raine now. That’s more than I had before.”
Neil looked at the woman and was surprised to feel a pang of sympathy for her. By all rights, he should hate her for what she’d done to his best friend, and to Raine. Desertion and deception were hardly noble traits, especially when it came to dealing with one’s own children. But he could see that Darla had paid dearly for her mistakes. Maybe now that the truth was out, their lives could move forward. That was all he’d ever wanted for Raine, to give her a measure of happiness.
“I wouldn’t be so swift to assume the worse, Darla,” Neil told her. “Linc asked me to search for you. And now that I’ve found you, I’m sure he’ll want to see you. Hopefully you two can start over. That is, if you really want to.”
Darla’s expression grew tender as she glanced from Neil to Raine. “I’ve wanted to start over for twenty-four years, but I never had the courage to try. I think you two have just given it to me.”
Rising from her seat, Raine went over to her mother and put her arms around her. “It’s time we all started over, Mother.”
The rest of the day passed in a chaotic blur. After a lengthy discussion between Raine and her mother, the two decided the only choice they had was to tell Geraldine and the rest of the family of what Neil had uncovered. The revelation had reverberated around the ranch like a shock wave after an earthquake. Everyone was stunned to hear Darla’s secrets, but in the end they were happy to discover that Raine was their cousin and that there were more family members in New Mexico.
During all the mayhem, Neil had called Linc at the T Bar K and given him the news. Raine had spoken to her new brother over the telephone and the exchange had been so emotional that Neil had been forced to swallow several lumps in his throat. But now the lumps were back and no amount of swallowing would make them go away.
For the past hour he’d been pacing around his bedroom, trying to relax, and most of all trying to reassure himself that everything was going to be fine. He could go back to Aztec knowing he’d accomplished his job.
Job, hell. None of this had been a job, he realized. He’d followed Raine here to the Sandbur like a cat stalking a mouse. And when the time was right, he pounced. He’d caught the prize and now he had to face the fact that he didn’t want to give her up.
But he had to, he argued to himself. His home was far away, and he was too set in his bachelor ways to change now. And Raine deserved more, much more than a loner like him.
Minutes later, Raine was in her bedroom, lying across the bed, gazing wistfully at the diamond and emerald ring on her finger, when a knock sounded on the door.
She quickly rose to a sitting position and called, “Come in.”
As Neil strode into her room, the sight of him instantly fil
led her heart with love and pain. He’d changed her life in ways that could never be measured and now she had to think about letting him go. The whole idea was weighing on her like a dark, heavy rain could.
“I was hoping you weren’t in bed yet. Am I intruding?”
Shaking her head, she patted a spot on the side of the mattress. “I know it’s late, but I’m still too wired up from all the excitement to sleep. Come sit.”
He eased down beside her and let out a long sigh. “What a day.”
“That’s an understatement,” she said.
“Are you doing okay?” he asked gently.
She nodded and Neil watched her gaze drop to the ring he’d placed on her hand. That moment in the jewelry store, and later at her apartment, seemed like it had happened eons ago. Still, it was caught in his memory forever and he knew that even when he went back to New Mexico, he would remember and ache.
“I’m all right,” she answered. “Actually I’m glad you came to my room. I was thinking—it’s time I give this back to you.”
She started to remove the ring from her finger, but Neil quickly caught her hand before she could slip it off completely.
“No!” he said flatly. “I told you that the ring was yours to keep. Nothing about that has changed.”
With a heavy sigh, she tilted her face toward the ceiling. “Everyone knows we’re not really engaged now. There’s no need for me to keep it.”
“Other than the fact that I want you to.”
His words brought her face back around to his and she searched his face for long moments. The soft, gentle light he saw in her green eyes made his breathing so slow his lungs began to burn with pain.
“All right,” she murmured. “If that’s what you want, I’ll keep it.”
He pushed the ring back in place and folded his hand around hers. “Raine, I’m very glad that I was able to give you the truth about your father and the rest of your family. I hope you’re glad about it, too.”
A South Texas Christmas Page 19