“Felt safe?” he said, finishing her sentence.
She nodded.
“You will always be safe with me. I will never hurt you again. Ever.”
That wasn’t a promise anyone in the world could make and keep, but she appreciated the thought. It was enough to know he would always be her guardian, the keeper of her heart, and the father of her child.
Not to mention that she loved him. She loved him so, so much.
And yet she didn’t have time for that right now... They had to get out of here and away from this choke point before Rockwood’s people came knocking.
She looked up at him and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I love you, too, Mike. But I won’t make a promise I know I can’t keep.” She pulled out of his arms and turned away before he could see any of the pain she knew had to be registering on her face. It would have been the perfect moment to tell him she promised him the world too, but perfection was an illusion.
She’d rather have something that was real—and something she could keep forever.
“Do you mind grabbing my bag? I can make a hotel reservation once we hit the road.” She didn’t look back at him. Not yet, she needed a moment to get control of herself.
Safety had to come first. Then they could talk all he wanted. In the morning, though, she would have to leave them...no matter what. With love came the responsibility to protect.
There was the creak of the bedroom door as he went for her things.
This was going to be their last night together, possibly forever. If something happened to her at Kirtland, this could be the last night she spent with Joe.
The thought made her feel as though her heart was being ripped from her chest.
How could she leave her son? But how could she justify putting him in harm’s way just so that she could be a constant in his life?
From the very beginning of Mike’s entrance back into their lives, she had told Mike he couldn’t just come and go from Joe’s life at the drop of a hat and according to his schedule. And yet she was doing exactly what she had told him not to. To say she felt like a hypocrite was a major understatement.
If she did get to see the boys again, there was no way she could ever draw lines in the sand. They would be equal...which maybe wasn’t a bad thing. She had wanted Mike to be a co-parent. Cooperation and compromise. And maybe, someday, something more.
Mike came out of the bedroom, her bag and the diaper bag in one arm and Joe cradled in the other, his sleeping face lying on his daddy’s shoulder. A lump swelled in her throat at the wholesome sight; a sight she couldn’t have imagined just a few months ago.
How fast and how dramatically life had a way of changing.
“If you grab the door, I will take everything outside.” He looked her in the eyes. “And don’t worry, this time I won’t leave Joe alone. Not even for a second. We will meet you out there.”
She answered with a dip of her head. “Just wait, let’s go together,” she said, opening the front door for them.
The apartment complex was quiet, but its peace was merely an illusion. Kevin and his team may well have been perched outside, watching and keeping guard. And on their heels could have been the Rockwood crew.
Would she ever really feel safe again?
Mike had his head on a swivel as he stepped out the door. She looked back, around her apartment. This was probably the last time she would be here. There wasn’t much, a chair and a few boxes, and she wouldn’t miss any of her things; but she would miss having a home.
Someday, maybe she would have stability in her life again. Until then, she’d say goodbye.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The snow had started to fall, coating the world in a silent blanket as they arrived at the hotel. After checking them in under a false name and acting like a happy little family of three, Mike got Joe and Summer into their room and then moved the car. He parked it two miles away, in front of another hotel, making sure to leave Summer’s phone inside the glovebox, should anyone try to track her down again.
He expected they had been followed by Summer’s people at the DTRA. That was exactly what he would have done—have a shadow surveillance team securing the perimeter at all times. If they didn’t, and something happened, it would be even more of a black eye for the agency when they had to write up the reports. Congress would have a field day if they found out a baby had been put in danger, especially when it came time to allot funding for the program.
If Kevin was smart, he would be on his toes making sure that no further harm came to them.
Here was hoping. It was naive and idiotic to assume anyone was going to protect them. It was like the law enforcement adage about rural areas: “we aren’t your first line of defense, we are merely the report takers after the fact.”
More times than not, he had seen that sentiment in action. And he would be damned if he was going to be complacent and fall for the dupe of assumed safety.
Walking back to the hotel, he let the snowflakes land on his face. The chill felt good on his skin, invigorating. He had only been in Montana for less than a year; it had been a long time since he had been a part of a true winter. It was no secret that the place could be brutal, winds up to a hundred miles an hour sending snow sideways, blinding and freezing the world as it tore through the countryside.
If that was what they were in for tonight, it was no wonder the pilot had put a stop to them flying out. Truth be told, Mike was thankful she had been forced to stay for one more night. It was greedy and more than dangerous to keep Summer here, with her enemies possibly on the hunt for her, but he wanted as much time with her as he could get.
He quickened his pace, jogging toward the hotel as he carefully picked his way around icy patches on the sidewalks and the ever-growing snowdrifts starting to build alongside the road.
By the time he got back, he was breathing hard and the light layer of sweat that had started to accumulate on his skin just as quickly evaporated into the dry winter air. The blast of warmth hit him like a freight train as he entered the hotel lobby. The man behind the registration desk looked up and, recognizing him, sent him an acknowledging tip of the head.
Ah, small towns. They were part of the world in which only a few things, things in the darkness of the night, went unnoticed or, at least, unspoken.
He hadn’t missed that aspect of Montana. He had always loved the anonymity that came with being a member of STEALTH. But tonight, for once, he was just a man...at least as far as the people in this hotel needed to know. He didn’t need them being suspicious if he acted outside of the norm. For now, the best thing he could do was to merely blend in and hope he had a forgettable face.
He tapped on their hotel room door before making his way inside. Joe must have been in the travel crib; a blanket was draped over the bars. Summer was perched on the bed, her knees up, as she watched some kind of true crime television show on the flat-screen.
She put her fingers to her lips as he walked in, then pointed at the crib, motioning that Joe was asleep.
There were so many things he wanted to talk to her about and so many questions that he wanted to ask—about what plans she had in mind, and how they would keep in touch when she went away. When Kevin had requested he take Joe, Mike’s first reaction had been absolute and abject fear. He was in no way capable of taking care of a baby alone. The kid had peed on him; he could only imagine what else was in store. He didn’t know much about taking care of a baby, and if he didn’t have Summer standing over his shoulder and coaching him along, Mike wasn’t sure he would really know what to do.
That being said, he would be more than happy to take his son. It was his duty as the father and, even if he wasn’t Joe’s dad, he would have done it for her.
Summer sat up and moved to the end of the bed. Standing, she made her way over to him and took him by the hand. Without a word, she led him int
o the bathroom, apparently wanting to talk somewhere that wouldn’t bother Joe.
Good.
She pushed the door closed behind them with her foot. He rested against the marble counter and just as he opened his mouth to speak, she moved between his legs and took his face in her hands. He stopped as she stared into his eyes. His body responded; the hungry look she was giving him meant only one thing.
Leaning in, he took her lips and slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her hard against him so she could tell exactly how she made him feel. He wanted her, had wanted her from the moment she had come back into his life, but now she was on the cusp of walking back out.
Oh, the irony. It was an incredibly painful thing to have a life filled with contradictions.
As badly as he wanted to take this time and make every part of her body quake with ecstasy, he questioned it. Things were likely to change, permanently, between them if they opted for this road. If he chose to take her, here and now, it would be making the choice to keep her forever. But there was no way of knowing if she was in the same place or same frame of mind. Maybe she wanted to have one last night together.
He wanted to stop their kiss, to pull back and talk. But from her feverish pitch, if he pulled away now, it would only lead to a full stop. He couldn’t run the risk of her thinking that his questioning their situation was any sort of rejection.
Summer was and had always been his everything, even when they hadn’t been together.
She tasted like trepidation and excitement, mixed with the sweet and salty flavor of her lips. He’d always loved the way she tasted.
Reaching up, she ran her fingers through his hair, guiding his mouth closer, savoring their kiss.
“Take me,” she said, not even bothering to stray from their kiss.
Damn, she was so damn hot.
He flipped her around so that she was pressed against the counter and then lifted her onto the cold stone. She gasped as he slid down her pants and her warm flesh pressed against the marble. He smiled, taking a certain amount of joy in the fact that she was having such a medley of sensations. He couldn’t have planned it better. She was the kind of woman who needed every sense thrumming to really enjoy lovemaking.
He got down on his knees in front of her and kissed her skin, starting at her ankle and slowly working all the way up her inner thigh to the soft, satiny fabric of her panties. She tasted just as good as her lips. As he gently ran his fingers under the edge of her underwear, she lifted her hips and he slipped them down her legs, exposing her fully to the air.
He pulled her closer to the edge of the counter as he gave her a greedy grin. Reaching up, he unbuttoned her shirt, pulling it off her shoulders as he kissed where the fabric had just rested. He slipped his hands behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra with two fingers. Thankfully, that part was easier than he had remembered. He smiled as he edged the black straps down and exposed her dark pink nipples to the air. They were as hard as he was and he pulled one into his mouth. She arched beneath his kiss, groaning as he made her nipple grow impossibly harder. He flicked his tongue against her hard nub.
He ached for her as she moved against him. “I hope I’m still as good at some things as you remember,” he said, releasing her from his torturous kiss.
She answered with a lusting, seductive smile. “I’m sure you are. If anything, I bet it’s like fine wine and it’s gotten better with age, just like the rest of you.”
He ran his hands along her thighs toward the point where they met. He grazed her most sensitive bit, making her shudder. “That’s what I think of you calling me ‘old.’ You won’t do it again, will you?” He pressed his fingers inside her as he spoke, eliciting only a nod as a moan rippled from her throat.
His mouth went to the place his fingers had been and her moan grew louder. This was one of those moments he wished he could make last forever. He loved watching her as she threw her head back, her glistening hair falling down her back. Her lips had grown pinker, the same shade as her nipples.
He took his time, savoring her sweetness and the way she writhed as he worked her over. Yes, if he spent his entire life in this position, he would have considered it a life well spent. It didn’t take long until a series of quakes and shudders took over her body and she cried out.
He hadn’t lost his touch. She held out her hands, motioning for him to stand, apparently unable to find the words.
Her eyes were glazed. This was just how he liked her—well sated, to the point that all she could do was smile and relax.
And yet, instead of relaxing, Summer reached down and opened his belt buckle, kissing his neck as she slowly unzipped his pants. With her mouth moving against his neck, he could barely register everything she was doing to him, but he soon found his pants on the floor and her putting on a condom and directing him into her.
She leaned back as he slowly moved inside her.
“Damnnnn...” he groaned, barely able to think about anything besides how she felt against him.
He had spent many nights since their breakup imagining moments and memory-makers like these, with her back pressed against the mirror and her ass on the countertop of a hotel bathroom, but they all paled in comparison to the reality.
Though she had been thoroughly satisfied once, Mike knew he held the power to send her there again. If this was going to be the last time they’d ever be together, he wanted to give her the best she could get. Maybe, if he was lucky, she would think about him after she left and use him in the same way he had spent so many nights thinking about and using her.
He pressed deep into her, hitting the depth of her but giving her more. She moaned, the sound full of pleasure and tipped with the sweetness he knew could bring her to the edge once again. Slowly, he worked in and out, until her nectar ran heavy...she was close.
Summer grabbed his hand and pressed it against her mouth as she finished. The sensation of her arching and quaking against him made it impossible to hold back. Together they found what they had both been missing.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
There were perfect moments in her life, but last night had been one of the best. Mike had always been an incredible lover, but he was even better than she had remembered.
What was even sweeter was that after their lovemaking, they had gone to bed together. He had wrapped her in his arms and she had slept better than she had in years. Joe had even managed to sleep through the night, which was a miracle in and of itself.
But now came the time to say goodbye.
Every part of her hurt with the thought of leaving her boys. And there was nothing she hated more than goodbye. Hawaiians had it right, using only one word—aloha—interchangeably for both hello and goodbye. With only one word, you were reminded at the moment of parting of how good it had felt to say hello. It was almost a reminder that soon enough the person you loved so much would be coming back into your life. But maybe goodbye really was the better word here; she could make no promises of return. She could only hope.
Mike held Joe in his lap, rocking him gently as he fed him a bottle. Joe was gazing over at her as he guzzled the liquid, but she couldn’t help but notice the way he refused to turn his head away from her. The look in his young, innocent eyes didn’t make her leaving any easier.
“I’m sorry, little guy. Mama has to go. I love you.” She looked at Mike and their eyes met. “And I love you too,” she said, regretting that she hadn’t said it before in the last few days.
She wished she had found a better moment to tell Mike how she was really feeling, but this would have to do. At least he wouldn’t be left wondering if she felt the same as he did. Sure, they could only have a long-distance relationship right now, but hopefully the future brought something different.
She couldn’t believe she was leaving.
But she had to go before this got any more difficult than it already was.
One more kiss. She walked over and ran her hand over Joe’s soft, downy hair, trying to take this one last chance to memorize the way his hair felt, just like she was touching a passing cloud. Leaning in, she gave him a soft kiss and took in his baby smell.
She looked up at Mike. “I hope you know that you are going to do great. Since the beginning, I have always known you would be the world’s greatest dad. And husband.” Her voice cracked.
He took her hand, his warmed by the baby, and pulled her lips to his. “I love you, Summer. When things go back to normal, I would be honored if you would consider being my wife.”
In her wildest dreams she wouldn’t have thought something like that would happen—her walking out seconds after Mike promised her forever.
Though her thoughts briefly moved to the past, she really only cared about this moment and the hope that rested at her fingertips, fingertips that had just brushed against the clouds and now rested in the radiant warmth of Mike’s sunny touch.
“And I would be thrilled if you would allow me the honor of taking you as my husband.” She kissed him, lacing her lips against his with a delicate promise. “With or without a piece of paperwork, the ceremony, and a party... I thee wed.”
“And I thee wed, Mrs. Spade.”
She took his face in her hands. “Mr. Spade.” She rested her forehead against his, letting this simple touch in this complicated moment be all that she needed to solidify the bond and promise that had been so long in coming between them.
“Forever, you will be mine and I will be yours.” Mike put his hand on hers, cupping them together against the stubble on his face.
She gave him one last kiss, letting her lips linger on his for a moment too long, a moment that allowed the tears to start to well in her eyes. Instead of turning away, blocking him from seeing how she truly felt, she let him look upon her...let him see that this was harder than anything before.
“I’m sorry I have to do this. I’m sorry I have to leave,” she said, trying to keep herself from sobbing.
Harlequin Intrigue March 2021--Box Set 2 of 2 Page 33