‘Sharpe?’
‘Yup. Guardian angel Sharpe. My future husband.’ Lauren gave a weak smile. ‘If he’ll marry me.’
‘He will.’ Nicki leaned forward to squeeze Lauren’s knee. ‘Just give him time.’
Lauren blinked away a tear. ‘How Sharpe saw me from that distance I’ll never know. But I remember lying there being burned to cinders by the sun and seeing this giant with a flat-top haircut walking right through the heat haze toward me. There were times I’d swear his feet never even touched the ground as he walked.’ She smiled. ‘Or maybe I’m being too romantic for my own good. Anyway, he brought me to Pits. Together we fixed up the cafe. It was just a ruin in those days. Opened it up; we’ve been doing nice business ever since. And some way along the line I stopped being anxious about the world. The panic attacks just vanished.’
Pamela had to broach a difficult subject. ‘I understand what you’re going to do with the guy I walloped with the frozen pork joint. But I don’t understand why you took to eating people.’
‘Priest started it before we all came here. He told us that eating human flesh is like a magic rite.’
‘Magic? Lauren, Nicki, that’s cannibalism. Cannibalism is barbaric.’
‘It’s misunderstood.’ Lauren took a deep breath as she explained. ‘Rites of eating human flesh have been commonplace in human history. It empowers people. Eating human flesh cured us of our anxiety attacks, our drink and drug addictions. It even cures people of low self-esteem. You see, if you eat a person’s flesh you absorb their power.’
‘So all those abandoned cars out in the lot belong to people you’ve eaten?’
‘Mostly from a long time ago. Priest told us that society chews good people up and spits them out; therefore, we had every right to chew society up.’
‘Only we didn’t spit – we swallowed,’ Nicki added.
‘My God.’
‘That’s how Priest was able to buy the things that Pits needed. He even had the dirt road through here paved with the proceeds of the jewelry and cars he could sell.’
‘But you preyed on innocent travelers,’ Pamela protested. ‘You murdered people. Stole their belongings. Ate their flesh!’
‘I guess we came to that conclusion, too. You have to understand that Priest was a visionary. He had this charisma. Everything he told us we believed. Then, though, maybe his cure for us worked better than he could have dreamed. We realized that we shouldn’t murder travelers and devour them. So we stopped. And –’ she sighed ‘– Priest had to go.’
‘And Zak?’
‘Every rule has its exceptions.’ Lauren picked up her beer. ‘If someone like Zak comes here intending to do us harm, then they’re gonna end up on the menu.’
Nicki said, ‘And we sell their possessions to add to community funds. Zak’ll have enough gold in his fillings and jewelry to buy us another trailer.’
‘But what about the guy I saw last night?’ Pamela asked.
‘Ah, Marvin White?’
‘I don’t know his name. A curly-headed guy. Sharpe brought him in on the bus.’
‘That was Mr. White.’
‘Are we eating him too?’
‘No.’ Lauren laughed as if the idea was ridiculous. ‘Mr. White is a geologist. He got lost in the hills. Sharpe found him. He figured it best to bring him here to spend the night. Then in the morning he drove him back to find his car.’
‘So he didn’t wind up as dish of the day?’
‘No, of course not. Mr. White is a perfect gentleman with a career and a family. So he didn’t need saving in the sense that we needed saving when we couldn’t live in regular society. And he certainly wasn’t planning to do us harm. So we offered him hospitality like any civilized human beings would. Now he’ll be safely back home in Barstow.’
‘Hmm.’
‘You don’t believe me?’
‘Well, I did see all those shoeboxes in the utility room, full of spectacles and dentures and stuff.’
‘Oh, they’re years old.’
‘Back from when Priest was in charge,’ Nicki said.
Pamela remembered what she’d found in one of those boxes of personal belongings.
‘But there was a diary. Two boys who’d run away from summer camp. They wound up here . . . one claimed that you’d eaten his friend and planned to eat the other one later.’
‘Oh, that’ll be Benny Loscoff.’
‘Loscoff. That’s the one.’
‘Back then, Priest told Benny that was what had happened to his friend Gyp, and that we planned to munch on Benny too. In truth, Priest was getting a little soft in the head. Sharpe drove the boys home.’ Nicki smiled. ‘We’ve got a letter of thanks from the mothers for saving their sons – we can show it to you if you don’t believe us.’
‘What happened to Priest?’
‘Priest’s no longer here.’ Lauren didn’t add any more about the mysterious guru. Instead she said, ‘In fact, Mr. White said he planned to drive out here with his wife and family at the weekend to have lunch at the cafe.’
‘Okay, Lauren, Nicki, I believe you. Eating people is a strange notion, but . . .’ Pamela shrugged. ‘Like they say, it’s a dog-eat-dog world.’
‘Ain’t that a fact.’
For a second all three stared at each other. Then Pamela gave a snort . . . followed by another snort. A second later she had a fit of giggles.
Lauren looked at Nicki.
They were relieved. Pamela knew what they were thinking.
Pamela’s all right. She’s one of us now.
They started smiling.
Smiles turned into laughter. Soon all three women were rocking to and fro because they were laughing so hard.
At last Pamela could catch her breath.
Grinning, she asked. ‘Is it true? Do people really taste like pork?’
None of them could answer. Laughter had them in fits again.
Chapter Thirty-four
The same moment that Pamela, Lauren and Nicki were laughing in the trailer until tears rolled down their cheeks, Boots, Duke and Norman were warming themselves round a campfire.
‘Midnight,’ Norman told them as he looked at his wristwatch.
‘Is that a fact?’ Duke was nonchalant. He lay on his side, smoking a cigarette. He was at ease with the place.
Boots sat with a jacket round her broad shoulders. ‘Sure gets cold in the desert at night.’
‘Sure does,’ Duke agreed.
‘I guess tomorrow we’ll have to find some way of getting to the nearest habitation.’ Norman poked the fire with a stick. Sparks flew into the night sky.
Duke yawned. ‘Sure. We need to pick up a new set of wheels.’
‘And something to eat and drink.’ Norman thought about sizzling steaks, cold beer, ice cream.
And all we’ve got left is one lousy can of soda.
‘Could use a shower,’ Boots told them. ‘I’m itchy like I got ants in ma pants.’
‘Ain’t that a picture to conjure with, Normy?’
Norman grimaced. ‘Ain’t it just.’
Hell. The pair irritated the bejesus out of him.
Only it’s not wise to criticize Duke. I sure don’t want another beating from the guy.
Next time it might not be fists.
Tough guy might decide to use the knife.
‘Know what feels good?’ Duke asked them.
‘Clean sheets?’ Norman ventured.
‘Nope. Better than that.’
Boots said, ‘Making whoopee in clean sheets.’
‘Nope.’ Duke sat up. ‘Being with your best buds. Just like now.’
‘Gee, I don’t know what to say.’ Boots’s piggy eyes filled with sentimental tears.
Norman groaned inwardly. Don’t blow it, Norman, he told himself.
‘I couldn’t agree with you more,’ he said, with a cheesy smile.
‘I’m kinda thinking it’s like my honeymoon,’ Boots told them, with a gulp. ‘Only I got two husbands for the price o
f one.’
Oh, Christ, woman . . .
‘Maybe the King is up there watching over us.’ Duke’s face was solemn. ‘You know, I think he brought us together like this for some . . .’ He rooted around inside his brain for the apt word. ‘. . . For some higher purpose.’
Norman bit his lip.
I wanna laugh.
But if I laugh in his face I’m a dead man.
But the idea of it: Elvis Presley looked down from heaven and decided that the three of us should meet? For crying out loud.
Norman had to bite his lip harder, then put his head down as he sat in front of the fire, his knees pulled up toward his chest.
‘What’s the matter, Norman?’
Oh Jesus. Duke had seen him choking back the laughter.
Norman kept his eyes closed but he knew his shoulders were shaking as a peal of laughter tried to escape from his body.
He put one hand over his eyes. Duke would be reaching for his knife.
Then something red and wet was going to smear the pristine desert floor.
Then Boots said in a low voice, ‘Poor Normy. Look at him, Duke.’
‘I’m looking.’ An ominous tone.
‘The poor pet lamb is crying.’
‘Crying?’ Duke sounded surprised.
‘Poor Normy can’t have had no close friends like us before, Duke. He’s getting all emotional.’
A lifeline!
This I gotta grab.
Now it was suddenly easy to change genuine laughter into fake sobs.
Boots shuffled round to him on her backside to hug him in a mothering kind of way. ‘Don’t worry, Normy. We’re here for you. We’re proper friends – just like that TV show. Here, let me kiss those tears away for you.’
She kissed his eyes.
Felt more like the lips of a hog snuffling wetly over his eyelids.
Dear God, I’ve gotta get outta this place!
When Duke spoke next his tone was surprisingly caring. ‘This kind of thing’s hard on a college boy. But we’ll take care of him. He’s one of us now.’
Holy shit. I’m stranded in the desert with a pair of crazies. Them telling me I’m one of them isn’t what the doctor ordered.
Gotta get away from them somehow. Otherwise they’re going to be the death of me.
Chapter Thirty-five
Norman woke with the morning sun shining into his face.
First thing he saw:
Boots taking a pee behind a cactus. Then—
Oh no – it’s not a pee she’s having!
Norman turned over. His bed for the night had been desert sand. Surprisingly soft.
Duke stood by the truck, smoking a cigarette. Sleeping rough had left his dirty blond hair even spikier. Even though he’d been staring out across the barren lands, with nothing but dunes, rocks and cactus in sight, he seemed to know that Norman was looking at him.
Without turning, Duke intoned, ‘Gonna have to move out today, bud.’
‘Sounds good to me.’
‘We’re gonna have to do it on foot.’
Norman was going to point out that he knew the truck’s motor was busted, thank you very much. But he’d learned to be wary of Duke’s mood swings.
Duke said, ‘We should find a motel before long. We’ll check in. Rest a while.’
Motel? Out here? On a Mojave Desert back road? The guy’s gotta be out of his frigging mind.
But Norman wasn’t going to risk yanking the hard man’s chain. ‘Yeah, we should find one before long.’
‘All finished,’ Boots called out brightly. ‘You boys can look now.’
‘Uh, sorry.’ Norman looked too quickly. He saw her hoisting her denim cutoffs up over a creamy expanse of skin interrupted only by a strip of dark hair.
She giggled. ‘Oh, you boys. Betcha you were peeping at me all along.’
‘No, ma’am,’ Duke said. ‘I wouldn’t watch a lady squirting her nuggets.’
‘Nor me,’ Norman added with genuine feeling.
‘Well, maybe I believe you, maybe I don’t.’ She finished tugging up the zipper. ‘Only don’t go walking near this cactus here or you might step in some twoses.’
With that Boots came walking toward them with what she must have imagined was her dainty walk. Her grubby white boots chugged through the hot sand.
Man, how those boots must be cooking her feet.
‘Okay,’ Duke said. ‘Grab your belongings from the truck. Time to hit the road.’
‘I’ll show some leg and get us a ride.’ Boots raised one of her thick legs.
Norman saw white skin through the slit in her cutoffs.
Ugh, what makes her so deluded? Only guy who’s gonna give her a ride will either have to be a pervert or desperate for a poke.
Yeah, just like me, Norman thought. You do crazy things when you’re desperate for a woman.
‘What’re you scowling at me for, Normy?’ Boots asked.
Jeez. He must have been pulling a sour face when she’d been talking about how eager a guy would be to stop for her.
‘Yeah, what you so unhappy about?’ That annoyed tone crept back into Duke’s voice.
Norman thought fast. ‘Boots is wearing a tank top.’
‘You gotta problem with that?’
Boots puckered her lips in a hurt little-girl expression. ‘I like it. Don’t you like it, Normy?’
Duke grunted. ‘You weren’t complaining when you were aiming to catch a look at her titties.’
Norman forced a smile. ‘No. Course I like her top. It’s just she’s got bare shoulders and that sun’s going to get pretty hot today.’
Duke nodded. ‘You gotta point, Norman. See, Boots? He just had your interests at heart.’
‘Oh, Normy, you’re always taking care of me.’ Delighted, she kissed him on the cheek.
‘Don’t want that bootiful skin to burn,’ Duke said. ‘Best cover up your shoulders before we start marching.’
‘I’ve got just the thing.’ Boots delved into her big denim bag. She pulled out a huge white T-shirt. ‘I bought this for bedtimes.’ Beaming, she gave a shrug of her shoulders. ‘But since I sleep naked as a jay in the summer it’s gonna work fine as a shawl.’ She draped it round her shoulders.
‘Don’t forget your bag, Norman.’ Duke reached into the truck and hauled out Norman’s rucksack.
‘Thanks, Duke.’ Norman hoisted it onto his shoulders.
‘Okay.’ Duke slipped on his shades. ‘Let’s roll.’
They started walking. Behind them the useless truck receded into the heat haze. In front of them the road shimmered as it cut a line through the wilderness to a distant horizon.
Nothing but cactus and sand.
Man, I’m thirsty, Norman told himself. If we don’t get fluid soon we’re going to die out here. That is if a rattlesnake doesn’t strike first.
From the clumps of cactus at the roadside he heard the rustle of desert critters. No doubt beady eyes were watching the three humans pass by.
Gonna be a tasty snack for all those carrion-eaters out there.
Norman glanced up.
Vultures circled.
Great.
Just great.
If only I hadn’t stopped at that particular gas station Duke wouldn’t have climbed into my car. Would never have met Boots, either.
Or killed those two cops.
I’d have been at home with my parents right now.
Not on the run. Holy shit, we’re not even on the run now. We’re walking through the third circle of hell. We’re gonna dehydrate, then die in the dust at the side of the road.
Gonna have some ugly lizard nibbling on my eyeballs by sunset.
‘Hear that?’ Duke stopped to scan the arid scenery.
‘Let me know if you hear a motor,’ Boots said. ‘Then I’ll start flashing some leg.’
There’s not going to be any vehicles out here, Norman told himself. We’re way off the highways.
‘Sounds like diesel,’ Duke said with conf
idence. He nodded. ‘Bus or a truck.’
Norman could hear squat. Nevertheless he joined the other two to scan the terrain. They held their hands above their eyes to shield them against the unforgiving sun.
‘Not a new motor,’ Duke told them with the absolute confidence of someone who knew engines. ‘But well maintained. New muffler, too.’
Norman wasn’t going to disagree.
Boots whined, ‘I don’t see shit out there. Only sand and rocks and things.’
Norman looked hard. Heat haze made the whole world ripple like it was soft plastic. He saw Joshua trees that looked like men waving at him. Then—
‘Hey,’ Norman crowed. ‘I see something!’
Boots saw nothing. ‘Sure it ain’t one of those mirror jars?’
‘Pardon me?’
‘You know – mirror jars. When you think you see rivers in the desert but they aren’t there.’
‘A mirage? No, it’s real.’
‘I see it,’ Duke said. ‘Way over there to your left.’
‘I can hear it as well.’ Norman was pleased.
Salvation!
Norman stared through the distorting effect of hot desert air at a long vehicle perhaps a mile away from them. Dust billowed high behind it as if it was some old-time locomotive throwing out smoke and steam.
‘It’s a truck,’ he said.
‘Nope,’ Duke corrected him. ‘A bus.’
‘Coo-ee,’ Boots sang out. She waved both hands over her head.
The bus driver won’t see you. It’s too far away, you dimwit. Norman would have liked to spit the words out at her. Then he figured that Duke would disapprove.
He choked back the insult.
Duke said, ‘Still heading east.’
‘The road will bend round,’ Boots said, hopeful.
Duke shook his head. ‘These roads are straight.’
The Glory Bus Page 25