There Are Trans People Here

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There Are Trans People Here Page 2

by H. Melt


  the vodka is free

  I notice poets sitting

  in the corner: Sam &

  Franny & Cam & William

  tells me Chelsea is here

  I don’t believe him

  but it’s true

  there’s a circle around her

  the host Mx. Justin Vivian Bond

  the lawyer Chase Strangio

  the journalist from vogue

  the documentary filmmaker

  I introduce myself

  as a writer & ask

  what she read

  in solitary

  I don’t know this is

  her first night out

  since release

  I already know, we’ve both

  read Nevada, both lived

  in Chicago & considered suicide

  like most trans people, I know.

  TRANS LIT

  after Jamila Woods

  Trans Lit is bullshit unless it is written

  by trans people, unless it is written

  for trans people. I want Trans Lit

  that breaks linear narrative.

  I want Trans Lit to bash back

  against the police. I want Trans Lit

  to take up an entire bookshelf

  in the library. I want Trans Lit

  in every classroom, in every backpack,

  in every pair of hands on a long commute.

  I want Trans Lit not to be a federal crime.1

  I want Trans Lit in prisons, to set my

  brothers, sisters & siblings free.

  1 In 2015, Chelsea Manning was facing solitary confinement, partially due to a “prohibited property” charge related to books and magazines that were confiscated from her cell, including Casey Plett’s book A Safe Girl to Love.

  CITY OF TRANS LIBERATION

  after Martín Espada

  Where statues

  of Lou & Sylvia

  dance in the streets

  Where no kids are

  kicked out or run

  away from home

  Where no body

  asks for ID or

  our real names

  Where every body

  has a body

  they believe in

  Where we can go

  outside in the daytime

  without being harassed

  Where we are taught

  to love instead of kill

  ourselves

  Where Trans Day of Remembrance

  celebrates those who died

  of natural causes

  Where there are no borders

  between who we were

  & who we are

  Becoming.

  ON TRANS STREET

  on trans street

  everyone knows

  your chosen name

  on trans street

  there are bungalows

  courtyard buildings

  & rent control

  on trans street

  there are bike lanes

  abundant wheelchair ramps

  & prompt snow removal

  on trans street

  there is free STI & HIV testing

  doctors prescribe hormones

  & perform abortions

  without a fight

  on trans street

  there is a school where

  trans history is taught

  by trans teachers

  on trans street

  there is a mural

  of Miss Major

  at Stonewall

  on trans street

  Juliana Huxtable

  is the resident dj

  on trans street

  no TERFs

  are allowed

  on trans street

  no catcalling

  is allowed

  on trans street

  there are

  no prisons

  no checkpoints

  no police stations

  no military bases

  no detention centers

  on trans street

  the cemetery

  is always full

  of visitors

  on trans street

  we are never

  alone.

  AT TRANS HOUSE

  there is a garden

  where berries &

  sunflowers grow

  in the backyard

  kids learn how to swim

  in suits that fit them

  everyone cooks

  or cleans in the

  kitchen together

  in the basement

  there is a dungeon

  & a dance floor

  the neighbors are

  not afraid to leave

  a spare key

  when a fuse blows

  or the toilet overflows

  we know how to fix it

  light fills the living room

  where comfy couches

  allow us to finally relax.

  TAKE ME TO THE TRANS SPA

  where I can get my nails done

  with my mom, without

  toxic chemicals

  let me change

  in the locker room

  soak in the jacuzzi tub

  cool down in the pool

  with a strawberry daiquiri

  let me sweat in the sauna

  & in the back room where

  glory holes are filled

  with fingers

  let there be deep tissue

  massages, drag bingo

  on mondays, clothing

  swaps on tuesdays

  let there be a hair salon

  sliding scale electrolysis

  & lavender shampoo

  let there be eyeliner tutorials

  tips on beard trimming

  & preventing hair loss

  let there be an abundance

  of ferns, aloe plants for

  soothing scars &

  a weeping willow

  outside our doors

  let us be beautiful

  on our own terms.

  CAMP TRANS

  At camp trans

  no cis children

  are allowed

  cabins aren’t separated

  by gender, instead

  they are named

  after riots:

  Stonewall

  Compton

  & Dewey

  the dining hall serves

  Cooper’s Donuts

  for dessert

  Jennicet Gutiérrez leads

  a workshop on making

  protest signs

  Chris Mosier guides

  campers on bike rides

  through the woods

  Kye Allums coaches

  basketball drills

  on dribbling

  & defense

  Jiz Lee reads

  Sex Is a Funny Word

  aloud as the crowd

  roasts marshmallows

  Laura Jane Grace

  plays guitar around

  the campfire & lulls

  everyone to sleep

  in the morning

  the ghost of Billy Tipton

  blows sweet sounds

  over the intercom as

  we continue to rise.

  TRANS MUSEUM

  At the trans museum

  admission is free

  for trans people

  trans students rush

  off the bus, excited

  for their first visit

  every artist on the wall

  is trans, every curator

  & employee is trans

  the bathrooms are blessed

  with good lighting & ample

  period products

  the cafeteria is full

  of foods high in

  phytoestrogens

  the gift shop sells

  binders, chokers

  flags & gaffs

  the auditorium hosts

  packed readings with trans

  poets from around the
globe

  the archive is open

  to the public, ensuring

  we will never disappear

  EVERY DAY IS A TRANS DAY

  Whether it’s raining

  or snowing, midnight

  or awaking from a nap

  working an eight-hour shift

  or watching reruns, buying

  groceries or folding laundry

  celebrating a birthday or

  burying a friend, lighting

  a candle or taking a bath

  calling mom or cleaning

  the kitchen, mixing paint

  or cookie dough, waiting

  for bread or the sun to rise

  every day is a trans day.

  TRANS DAY OF REVENGE

  after G.L.O.S.S.

  on trans day of revenge

  cis people will come out as cis

  use the wrong restroom, be called

  by the wrong name, lose a job

  for being cis, be the only cis

  in the family, fail to pass as cis

  never feel cis enough

  on trans day of revenge

  all books about cis people

  will disappear, cis characters

  will be played by trans actors

  the news will only talk about

  trans people, the train will be

  crowded with trans workers

  on trans day of revenge

  playgrounds will be full

  of trans children laughing

  learning & loving

  isn’t that the best

  revenge.

  I DON'T WANT A TRANS PRESIDENT

  I want trans doctors

  performing my surgery

  trans journalists reporting

  the news, trans historians writing

  textbooks. I don’t want trans capitalists

  walking on wall street or trans cops

  patrolling my neighborhood. I want

  trans musicians playing on my stereo

  trans designers crafting my clothes

  trans chefs filling my stomach

  trans farmers planting my food

  & trans gardeners picking

  flowers for my funeral.

  TRANS PEOPLE AGAINST BANS, WALLS & BORDERS

  When news of the Muslim ban broke

  protestors fled to airports to free

  people being detained & deported

  Chelsea called & I took the red line

  to the blue line to O’Hare

  to international arrivals

  lawyers hunched over laptops

  & scribbled on yellow legal pads

  in the dining area of a mcdonalds

  I saw cardboard signs

  made out of ikea boxes

  & held one reading

  trans people

  against bans

  walls borders

  we surrounded police

  we sat down on the streets

  we removed the american flag

  & put it back upside down

  I want to travel

  to a world where

  no one needs papers

  or government approval

  to visit friends & family

  attend school & work

  to return or build

  a new home.

  & AGAIN & AGAIN

  The Illinois Holocaust Museum was born

  after nazis tried to march in Skokie

  home to more survivors than

  anywhere in the country

  my dad took me

  to the museum

  the day after 45

  was elected

  I saw the signs

  Warsaw: 1943

  Skokie: 1978

  america: 2016

  the agents, the cages

  the camps, the curfews

  the fences, the fires

  the gases, the guns

  protestors held signs reading

  fight anti-semitism & racism

  unite against fascism

  smash the nazis

  & never again

  THE MOST DANGEROUS JEW IN GERMANY2

  was gay. Magnus Hirschfeld

  established the Institute for

  Sexual Science in Berlin

  a hybrid

  health clinic

  & lecture hall

  library & archive

  proving we exist

  in 1933

  nazis burned

  Hirshfeld’s books

  in the month of May

  he fled the country

  never to return for

  the rest of his days

  in the decades since

  we’ve rebuilt what

  was lost in the fire:

  Affinity Affirmations

  BreakOUT! Full Spectrum

  On the Move Open Arms

  Outreach True Colors

  Youth Outlook Youth Seen

  Callen-Lorde Hetrick-Martin

  Lyon-Martin Thornhill Lopez

  Whitman-Walker William Way

  Have a Gay Day

  Gay City

  Magic City

  Casa Ruby Proud Haven Unity House

  The Attic The Living Room The Loft

  We Are Family

  2 This is how hitler referred to Magnus Hirschfeld.

  TRANS TEMPLE

  Build it & we will sing

  together, rise together

  sway & clap with parents

  & partners & friends as

  sun shines through stained

  glass windows, we sip

  wine & grape juice. we light

  candles. we send money

  in the tzedakah box

  to Palestine. we skip

  birthright. we cover

  ourselves as we wish.

  we let the torah fall

  without punishment.

  we repair & repair

  & repair.

  PRAYER FOR MY TRANS SIBLINGS

  Praised are you who remember

  Leelah & Blake, Greyson

  & Mark, Layleen & Leslie

  Praised are you who hold up

  the trans universe, who

  agitate & educate

  migrate & radiate

  Praised are you who shelter us

  in libraries & nursing homes

  locker rooms & train cars

  prison cells & hospital beds

  Praised are you who clothe us

  in combat boots & leggings

  button ups & chainmail

  leather & pleather

  faux fur & sequins

  Praised are you who share

  our joy in naming & renaming

  screaming & dreaming

  injecting & rejecting

  Praised are you who soothe us

  from the harms we inflict on

  ourselves & each other

  Let us hope for a day

  when we no longer

  need to pray for

  our safety.

  THE RIOTS MUST CONTINUE

  For my 29th birthday, I went to Philadelphia

  where my grandparents met at Temple University

  & my great aunt was a docent at the art museum

  & my great grandmother lived by Rittenhouse Square

  which I visit in the rain, walking under my

  purple umbrella, pausing at the fountain

  reading off my phone, Philly’s first

  pride parade began right here

  I walk a block to Dewey’s Diner

  to visit my trancestors

  who were denied service

  & arrested here in 1965

  my nana lived so close

  she could’ve heard the protests

  or waved to me from her window

  as River snapped a picture of me

  in front of the bronze plaque

  where Dewey’s previously sat

  now it is a construction site

  most of my relatives are gone<
br />
  but the marches & the sit-ins

  & the riots must continue.

  AFTERWORD

  Writing this book challenged me to center trans joy. I am a lot more familiar with writing about grief. Most of the trans literature I’ve read focuses on the pain, discrimination, and violence trans people experience. Which is understandable, because our realities can be bleak. I’ve written about many of those moments in my own life. It was what I needed at the time. Now, I need trans joy. I need to know trans joy exists in order to imagine myself living in the future.

  I remember the first time I picked up Nan Goldin’s photography book The Other Side. It documents many of her trans and gender nonconforming friends at a drag bar in 1970s Boston. I found the book sitting on the shelf at a trans friend’s apartment in Los Angeles. When I spotted the book and pulled it down, I opened a portal to the trans past. I was moved by the introduction, which states: “the pictures in this book are not of people suffering gender dysphoria but rather expressing gender euphoria.”3 I didn’t know gender euphoria was possible. I knew that trans joy existed, but it was difficult to find. In those photographs, I recognized the deep joy of trans friendship through a historical lens.

  While The Other Side gave me a glimpse at trans history, another book of photographs gifted me a vision of my future. The collection To Survive on This Shore by Jess T. Dugan and Vanessa Fabbre features portraits and interviews with trans elders from across the United States. On the cover is Mama Gloria, posing in the middle of a snowy Chicago street in a full-length fur coat. Inside the book, I found more trans elders who I recognize, know, and love. Flipping through its pages, I was able to imagine my future as a trans person for the first time. Reading To Survive on This Shore inspired me to write towards trans futures. It inspired me to organize an event with local trans elders who were featured in the book. At that event, I began to understand that I shouldn’t only mourn the queer and trans elders lost to us. It is equally important for me to honor my elders who are still here. My future was no longer unimaginable. This opened up so many possibilities in my poetry because my focus expanded beyond surviving my day-to-day life. Finally, I could dream.

 

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