by T. J. Klune
“Really,” I said. “Shocking.”
“I don’t know that anyone could be considered an expert in dragons. We can’t exactly talk to them.”
“Hi,” I said, pointing up at Kevin. “Remember me? I can talk to dragons. And because of me, they can talk to everyone else. What does it look like?”
“Serpentine,” he said. “Long and thin. The scales are hardened and the color of fire. The wings on its back are small, but they’re useful when it dives from the air and into the sand, burrowing deep into the earth below. It has razor-sharp spikes that line its back that can flex if attacked from above. It does not have legs, but it moves quickly, especially on top of the sands. Its given name is Jekhipe. It means ‘oneness.’ Because it is one with the desert.”
I paled as I swallowed thickly. “So. What you just described sounds like a gigantic flying snake.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t like gigantic flying snakes. Or, really, any snakes at all.”
“Ah. Well. Hopefully, you’ll get over that shortly. I’ve always heard that to conquer a fear, you have to immerse yourself in it.”
“That sounds like a terrible idea,” I said. “Why would anyone do that?”
“Because they choose to. You, on the other hand, do not have a choice.”
Godsdammit. “When was the last time you saw it?”
Ruv’s brow furrowed. “Saw… it? What do you mean?”
That didn’t sound good. “When did you last lay eyes on it?”
“Oh! I understand now. The answer is never. I’ve never seen it.”
I stopped walking. “What.”
Ruv looked back at me, confused. “No one has seen the dragon in many, many years.”
“Then how do you know what it looks like?”
“Drawings,” he said, as if I were stupid.
“Drawings,” I repeated. “And how do you know where it is?”
He laughed. “Everyone in the desert knows where the dragon sleeps. You’ll see as soon as we get there.”
“That… sounds worrying.”
“A little.”
“You do realize this doesn’t make you an expert on the dragon. In fact, you’re the furthest thing from an expert there is.”
“I didn’t call me an expert.”
“Vadoma did,” I pointed out.
He shrugged. “She is the phuro. She can say what she pleases.”
“Do you think he’ll like me?” Kevin asked. “Jekhipe. Which, honestly. What a terrible name.”
I looked up at him to find him looking nervously off in the distance. “Why wouldn’t he?”
“You didn’t like me when we first met.”
“You were trying to kill me.”
“Or fuck you.”
“Or fuck me, yes. I remember. I won’t ever not remember that, thank you. But I got over it, right? You’re my buddy now. You know that.”
“And you’re my sexy son,” Kevin said, grinning around a mouthful of sharp teeth. But then the smile faded. “I’ve never met another dragon before.” He looked away, wings drooping a little. “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone, you know? What if I’m not good enough?”
“Pick me up,” I demanded.
He stared at me for a moment, but complied. He was gentle as his claws curled around me, bringing me up until I was level with his face, feet dangling into the air below.
“Closer,” I said.
He did.
“Closer.”
He did, going a little cross-eyed as he continued to focus on me.
I punched him in the nose.
“Ow!” he roared, jerking me back. “What the fuck!”
“You don’t get to talk bad about yourself!” I snapped. “You’re good enough! You know what, you’re better than good enough. So I don’t want to ever hear you talk like that about yourself again, you hear me?”
He growled at me, exhaling hot smoke that caused me to cough. “You didn’t have to hit me!”
“Oh, fuck off. You probably didn’t even feel that. Me, on the other hand. My fist hurts like a motherfucker. Why is everything about you so hard?”
“Yeah it is,” he said. “You want to see how hard I can—”
“Stop it.”
He pouted. “You said it, not me.”
“You didn’t have to rise to the godsdamned bait, you—”
“I always rise, I’ll have you know—”
“Kevin!”
“Sam!”
“What are they doing?” I heard Ruv ask below.
“It’s better not to ask,” Gary replied. “This is how we do. Just roll with it, honeybunch. It’ll make things easier.”
“Don’t hate the player,” Tiggy said. “Hate the game.”
“I still don’t even understand it sometimes,” Ryan said.
“You listen to me, okay?” I said, taking Kevin’s face in my hands as best I could. There was a contented rumble in his chest as I put my chin on top of his nose so he could see me properly. “You are good enough. And if any other dragon, or any other person, says you’re not, they’re wrong and they’ll have to deal with me, okay?”
“You are my favorite human,” Kevin said quietly. “In case you didn’t know.”
“I’m everyone’s favorite human. I’m used to it by now.”
He tilted his head away and laughed. As much as we antagonized each other, I really did love that sound. A laughing dragon was a happy dragon, and I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy, especially since he and Gary were broken up. It wouldn’t last, I knew. Eventually they’d pull their heads out of their asses and then go back to putting their heads up each other’s asses, or whatever sexual perversions they got up to. But while it did, I needed to make sure he was okay, just as much as I did Gary. I thought maybe I’d forgotten that.
He was smiling that weird reptilian smile when he leaned forward again and said, “Cheeky little bugger. I ought to spank that pert little ass of yours until it’s… it’s… huh.”
I squinted at him. “Did you really just lose your train of thought while thinking about my ass? Gods, you’re so weird. I don’t know why you can’t just—”
He reached up with his other hand and used a single claw, pressing it gently against my chin, turning my head west.
At first, I didn’t see it.
It looked like only sand, stretching on without end.
But then there was a flash of light in the distance, shimmering in the heat waves. There was something there, a smudge against the horizon where the flash had come from.
“What is it?” I asked quietly, even though I knew. “You can see better than I can.”
“Ruins,” Kevin said. “It looks like ruins.”
IT SAT in the middle of a valley of sorts, a tumbling pile of black stone. There was the outline of a structure there, something that had long since collapsed. There were archways and pillars, almost as if it’d been a castle of sorts. I dug back in my memory as far as I could go to see if I could remember any mention of a castle this far out in the Luri Desert, but I came up empty.
The sand dune we came upon was smaller compared to the rest around the ruins, the grade shallow as it dipped down. A large flat length of sand stretched out ahead of the ruins, something we’d have to cross if we had any hopes of reaching the crumbling rock. From where we stood, I could see a large dome in the middle of the ruins, cracked and decayed. The side of the dome facing us had collapsed, leaving an entrance that was hidden in shadow. I thought it was a good possibility that the search for the dragon would start there. I tried not to think about the idea of a gigantic lizard snake burrowing in tunnels underneath our feet.
Ruv had been leading the way, but he’d stopped before we stepped out onto the flat sand ahead of us. He was tense, shoulders squared, looking out across the expanse. I didn’t know what he was looking for, but I didn’t see anything myself, aside from the fact that he was hesitating when we were so close to reaching our target. Why he was t
rying to delay the inevitable, I had no idea.
“We don’t have time for this,” I growled, attempting to push past him.
His arm shot up against my chest, holding me back. “You don’t want to do that,” he said. “Trust me.”
I scoffed. “You know I don’t. We have a job to do, though I’m still not quite sure how to do it. And since you aren’t exactly in the know either, expert, I think you should let me go.”
“And if you don’t take your hand off of him,” Ryan said, gripping the handle of the sword at his side, “I can remove it for you.”
Ruv muttered something in his native tongue that I was sure was not a compliment before pulling his pack off his back. He dropped the wooden contraption into the sand, the cloth around it fluttering. He reached into the pack and pulled out three spherical stones, all smooth and bone-white. He was still grumbling to himself as he fitted the pack back around him and held out one stone to Ryan, one to me, and kept the other one for himself. “You throw left,” he told Ryan. “Sam, right. I will throw down the middle. As hard as you can.”
I could admit to being curious, which is probably why I didn’t argue. Ryan glanced at me, and I shrugged. Ruv knew something we didn’t, and I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now.
I threw my stone. It landed a good distance away, but instead of a puff of sand when it landed, the sand itself rippled, as if I’d thrown it into water.
“Um,” Gary said. “What just happened?”
“Bad feeling,” Tiggy said. “Baaaaaad feeling.”
Ryan threw his. It went farther, of course, and he looked a little pleased at the fact, given that he would always be a little bit of a douchebag, gods love him. It impacted with the same curious effect, rippling outward.
Ruv went last, throwing his stone down the middle. His went the farthest. Ryan looked grumpy at that. But instead of rippling, his landed with a hard thunk, as if just under the sand was something solid.
I blinked. “Okay, what the hell?”
“Something smells weird,” Kevin said, nostrils flaring. “Almost like… rotted fish.”
Ryan drew his sword. “This can’t possibly be good.”
“Watch the outer stones,” Ruv said.
We did.
It only took a minute more.
The ripples died. Little granules of sand got caught in a small updraft, dancing along the surface.
And then—
“Nope,” Gary said. “Fuck no. Fuck this whole thing. Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck this place. Gary out.”
But he didn’t even try to leave, transfixed by the same thing all the rest of us were. Because out of the sand where I’d thrown Ruv’s stone rose five claws attached to five fingers, which led to a hand whose palm was white as a fish’s belly but whose skin was mottled green around the back, like wet moss growing on trees. The hand, of course, led to a thick forearm that had to be as wide as I was. Whatever the hell was under the sand was big, bigger than it had any right to be. The arm bent over, veins jutting out as the sharp claws closed around the stone before sinking back underneath the surface, the sand moving like waves.
On the other side, the same thing happened with a slightly smaller arm. No one spoke until it too had disappeared in the sand.
“Huh,” I said. “All those in favor of turning around and running away, say aye.”
“Aye,” Gary said.
“Aye,” Tiggy said.
“Aye,” Kevin said.
“Guys, we can’t,” Ryan said, because he was righteous and brave and so, so stupid. “We have a job to do.”
“Okay, then,” Gary said. “You go out there first.”
“Well, let’s not be too hasty,” Ryan said quickly, taking a step back. “We should at least talk about it before anyone does anything.”
“Sand mermaids,” I said to Ruv, who was still looking out at the sands. “That’s what Vadoma called them, didn’t she?”
“Yes.”
“And obviously she left out the part where they were large scary monsters.”
“Have you seen real mermaids before?”
I nodded. “Once. It involved lesbian pirates who tied me to the front of their ship to use my magic to get to the mermaid treasure.”
“Oh, right,” Gary said. “I remember that. What was that song they sang again?”
“If you use your fingers to scissor,” Tiggy sang, “you best put your mouth up and kiss her.”
“Gods, I had that in my head for days,” I said. “And also, I was sufficiently scarred because mermaids are terrifying creatures.”
“The sand mermaids are even worse,” Ruv said. “Or so I’ve heard. Twice the size of traditional mermaids. Four rows of teeth—needle sharp. They have little pockets in the back of their throats like a water skin. It holds poison that paralyzes the prey. They like it when you’re alive when they start to eat you. Something about the blood tasting different than off a rotting carcass.”
“Well shit on my chest and call me kinky,” Gary said. “Let me guess. There’s no other way to yonder rockopolis aside from straight through this little sand ocean.”
“You’re into scat play?” Kevin said. “That is not something I would have expected.”
“What?” Gary said. “Gross. Of course not. Don’t be stupid. It’s a common expression.”
“No one says that,” I told him. “Absolutely no one.”
“And besides,” Gary said, ignoring me completely, “it’s not like you know everything about me.”
“Bullshit,” Kevin said. “I knew you inside and out. And in again. And then out again—”
“For fuck’s sake,” I muttered. I glanced back at Ruv. “The middle stone. There’s a path?”
He nodded. “Any deviation from it will… be less than ideal.”
“How the hell did you figure that out?”
“Trial and error.”
If that wasn’t chilling, I didn’t know what was. “How many died?”
“Figuring out the path? Sixteen. The sand mermaids were… quite vicious.”
“Why doesn’t Kevin just fly us across?” Ryan asked. “He’s got wings. One at a time, and we wouldn’t even have to worry about them.”
“Hey! I’m not some kind of pack mule—”
“The vibrations from the wings,” Ruv said. “They’ll move across the surface of the sand. The creatures can sense them. And they can jump out of the sand higher than one would think. Kevin will have to stay here. Tiggy and Gary too. We must move with lightness under our feet.”
“Did he just call me fat?” Gary said, sounding outraged. “Bitch, I ain’t fat. I am motherfucking jolly—”
“And you know the path?” I asked, looking out at the sand. Tiggy had been spot-on. I had a bad feeling about this.
Ruv nodded.
“Shit,” I said. “This isn’t going to go well, is it?”
“Sam,” Gary said. “You can’t possibly be considering listening to him. We can’t trust him.”
“Gary’s right,” Kevin said. “There has to be another way. Can’t I just roar like the manly dragon I am and call him out?”
“And risk the sand mermaids?” Ruv said.
“Everything risks sand mermaids,” Tiggy said.
“He’s got a point,” Ryan said. “We have Sam’s magic. He can just, you know. Do his finger-zappy thing and turn them to stone or something.”
“My finger-zappy thing,” I repeated. “Gosh, babe. Way to make me sound so awesome.”
He flushed. “You know….” He glanced at the others and flushed deeper before continuing. “You know what I meant. And you know how I feel about the… finger. Zappy thing.”
“Damn right I do.” I leered at him.
“Ryan gets a boner when Sam does magic,” Gary told Ruv. “It’s sweet. And really fucking awful for the rest of us.”
“How lovely for him,” Ruv said wryly. “And magic wouldn’t be the best idea. They’re drawn to it. Like bugs to firelight. It
calls to them. It’s why they stay here, around the dragon.”
“So what you’re saying is that I’m effectively neutered,” I said. “This… isn’t going to go very well, is it?”
Ryan scowled. “What happens when we get over to the island or whatever it is? Will the dragon wake? What then?”
“It’s why I’m here,” Ruv said. “I’m the distraction.”
“What?” That wasn’t what I expected to hear. “Vadoma sent you here to be the bait?”
“Oh no,” Ryan said. “That’s so sad. Gods, I really hope nothing happens to you.”
“I forget how bitchy Knight Delicious Face can be sometimes,” Gary whispered to Tiggy. “Makes me want to lick his face.”
“We lick him later,” Tiggy said.
“Oooh,” Gary said. “Deal.”
“I could get in on that,” Kevin agreed. “Have him spread out like some big ol’ knight buffet and just gorge ourselves—”
“Let’s stop right there before it goes any further,” I said. “Because it will. It always does. And Ryan, stop looking so godsdamned smug. It’s disturbing and you haven’t earned the right.”
He scowled at me.
I turned back to Ruv. “I can’t in good conscience let you be bait. And even if I wanted to, it’s not something the King would allow. I am here as an extension of the Crown.”
“Sam,” Ruv said, reaching out and squeezing my arm. “Your concern for me is sweet…”
“It’s really not,” Ryan muttered.
“…and I know you don’t trust me, but I know what I’m doing. I’ve gotten to the… island before.”
I frowned at that. “But you’ve never seen the dragon?”
“It wasn’t meant for me to see,” he said simply. He looked at Gary, Tiggy, and Kevin. “I will help them. I promise. But you must promise me that unless it’s absolutely necessary, you stay back.”
Gary glanced at me. I nodded. He narrowed his eyes as he looked back at Ruv. “If anything happens to them,” he said coldly, “I will hold you personally responsible. All jokes aside, I will make sure you never leave this place.”
“Ditto,” Tiggy said, cracking his knuckles menacingly.
“Double ditto,” Kevin growled. “There won’t be enough of you left to bury by the time we’re finished. I once ate a woman who threatened them, and I’m a vegetarian. That should show you how serious I am.”