“You’re no good at all to them right now.”
“Collapsed buildings. People trapped. I could direct the efforts.”
“Jahmai is doing just fine without you. You can still barely breathe. Rest for a while longer. Please.”
He was right. Thankfully, Gwyn had found a knitter whose healing helped to improve Nara’s condition, but her throat still ached, and a deep fatigue had overwhelmed her so profoundly that it was hard to even move. She had no strength. None at all.
Gwyn, Yury and Lieutenant Martel were reassembling the armies to help the fallen in Fairmont. Citizens needed rescue from collapsed buildings, shelters needed to be organized, and injuries needed tending. She had asked Sammy to join them and he had quickly obeyed. If only Mykel would do the same.
“Please go help,” she said to him. “I can barely move, but you are still strong. They need help down there. Please.”
“In a while,” Mykel said, fingers fiddling with the ivory staff that lay on the ground next to him. “Right now, I’m staying with you. I’m your protection. At least until you get your runes back.”
“They’re not coming back,” she said. “When you were strangling me, I had hold of protection, but it faded too. I only have two, now.”
“Two runes. Sounds familiar.”
“Yes, it does,” she said. “That’s not all that sounds familiar. Gwyn, Yury, and Sammy. That’s three.”
Mykel gave her an odd look.
“The Humble Guardian of old. Anne’s Guardian. The histories said that he had three mighty men that gathered with him for every battle.”
“I forgot about that. But Gwyn is a woman.”
“Even better,” Nara said.
Mykel smiled. “I agree.” His gaze lingered on her. “I’m going to have to get used to your new hair. I liked it better when it was red.”
“A lot has changed, not just my hair. She’s here with me,” Nara said. She needed him to understand this. Everything was different, now. “No, that’s not right. She is me. I remember everything she lived through. Growing up with Papa. Life in Fairmont. Draining the life out of all those people. But I remember Dimmitt too. I remember it all. I’m Nara, and I’m Kayna.”
“But you talk like Nara. You look like her too. Except for the hair. And the eyes.”
“We’re twins, Mykel, of course I look like her. But my eyes don’t work well. Everything is blurry now.”
She closed her eyes and the sight rune popped into her vision instantly, although it looked slightly different than the versions she’d seen. More ornate. Richer. More powerful. When she flared it, she could see like never before. She could see things around her, she could see things that happened recently—the battle on the slope, her army escaping through the pass, and even the earthquake in Fairmont that brought some of the buildings down. A rich, powerful sight rune. On the periphery of her vision dwelled another rune, far more subtle. It was constantly flaring, yet very quiet, and hard to see. It wasn’t difficult to guess what it did.
“I don’t care if you’re different. I’m just glad you’re alive. I’m so sorry. About your throat and all.”
“You didn’t know. It’s okay.”
They were quiet for a time. So much had happened, and there was so much yet to do. The earthquake had done deadly work; Fairmont was a disaster and needed help. Other cities and villages would also be suffering. She had been Queen, but that would end, now. Many would blame her for all of this, and she deserved it. But she must help them rebuild, and she would need Mykel to keep her safe from those who would turn their anger toward her. He really was her Guardian, now.
“Anne is dead,” she said.
The words were hard to say because they didn’t come with the feelings she had expected them to bring. Mourning. Pain. Sadness. None of that. Maybe it was because Anne wasn’t dead at all. Her body had failed, but Nara was confident that Anne was now more alive than she had ever been, and she couldn’t bring herself to grieve. Still, she missed her, and would miss her in the years to come, for sure.
“I know,” Mykel said. “Gwyn found her corpse. I wasn’t going to tell you yet, but–”
“I met her. I must have died too.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“It’s hard to explain, and I don’t remember it very well. But I talked with her.”
“What did she say?”
“Something about being patient. And having work to do, but there was more. And I've been thinking. This has all happened before, Mykel. She didn’t tell me that, but I know it to be true. The destruction of the Breshi. It happened like this. And Anne was part of it.”
Nara struggled to remember the conversation, which must have occurred when Kayna harvested her, or killed her, or whatever it was that happened.
“I felt peace where we were. And Dei loved us. But I’m not sure if that’s His name. Anne never called Him that.”
“Did you meet Him?”
“No. I would remember that I think. But I learned some things. I just can’t remember what they were.”
“I’m just glad you’re alive,” he said. “And we won, Nara. It was crazy, but we won. Kayna’s army has scattered.”
“Many have died. It was a high price to pay.”
“At least Sammy is alive. He’s different, but he’s alive. He doesn’t remember me, but I don’t care.”
“Of course you care. But with time, he may remember. When I changed him, it destroyed most of his memories. And I manipulated him. It was easy because he never had a mama, and he wanted one so badly. Did he ever tell you that?”
The look on Mykel’s face was one of shock, then it changed, his brows furrowing and lips pursing. This was hard for him. He didn’t understand that Kayna wasn’t dead. She was every bit as alive as Nara, although Kayna’s lack of passion had made her easily overcome. How could she explain this to him?
Maybe she just did.
“I told you, I’m not the Nara you remember,” she said. “It will take you a while to realize this, I’m sure. But I am the horrible person who ordered the kidnapping of Sammy. The death of all those people in Dimmit, too. And I am the person who grew up with you. I loved you my whole life. I love you now. We battled against the darkness together, and we have work to do. My foolishness caused a lot of pain. We need to help them all. Please accept this. Not now, but someday. Accept this. Accept all of me.”
The look on his face changed to one of doubt and confusion.
“And forgive me.”
He looked away, then stood up but didn’t leave. “I don’t know.”
Give him time. He’ll come around.
It was Him again. Now she knew why Anne was always talking to the trees and the sky. Perhaps she was never alone all those years after all.
“I’ll need your help.”
She looked up at Mykel, but he didn’t meet her gaze. She struggled to rise from her sitting position and reached to put a hand on his shoulder. “Take all the time you need.”
“I have a question,” he said, turning to face her.
She must look terrible, with cloudy eyes, pale hair, and wearing a torn, scorched dress.
“Ask.”
“In all of this, with how we were wrong about Sammy, how we were angry about what Kayna did to the villages.”
“Not what Kayna did. What I did.”
“Listen. Are you still mad at Dei?”
She paused to think about that for a moment. Her heart had changed. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the battle, the regret she felt about her own actions, or how Kayna was now a part of her; a quiet, but important part of her. She felt different, now. Her passion was tempered, the anger at her circumstances now faded, having transformed into an urgency at what must be done in the weeks and months ahead. But there was appreciation as well. And peace. Peace because she knew that there was a plan, and that she wasn’t the one in charge. The weight of the world was no longer on her shoulders.
“Maybe a little, but not like befo
re. He has a story to tell, Mykel. It’s a painful one, but somehow it works out and I understand that, now. I’m more disappointed than angry. Disappointed in myself. I want to do better, I try to do better, but I fail, and that frustrates me. But I know that this is His story, and we’re just players in it. Actors on a grand stage that will someday fade away. We don’t have to like our roles, but we should love Him because He’s worthy of it. And because He loved us first. He is good. And He plans good things in the end. It’s all going to be okay; I know that now. He has crafted a beautiful story, with a beautiful ending for each of us.”
Mykel nodded, pausing for a moment as if taking her words to heart.
“Maybe I should go help.” He kneeled to pick the ivory staff off the ground, then held it by his side as he looked out over the city below. His tall, proud form gave her confidence that he would have an important role in reshaping the Great Land in the years to come. She was grateful to have him.
“There is more,” she said, then looked up at the sky and gave an appreciative smile. “Something else has changed. For so long I prayed and heard nothing. I begged, and He was silent. In the middle of great pain, I prayed. And in quiet moments, I prayed. But He never responded with anything more than a feeling. Or a gentle breeze. It was a big part of what angered me, because I felt so alone. It’s different now because I know He hears me. He hears us all. He’s our Father, our Creator, and He loves us dearly.”
She reached out to Mykel, grabbing his left hand with both of hers. He turned his head and she looked into his eyes and gave him a big smile. “And I can finally hear His voice.”
39
Thank You
Thank you for reading Finding Kai. If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving an honest review on Amazon.com. Sharing your opinions with other readers helps authors to create great stories for you to enjoy.
It has been an adventure and again, I thank you.
David A. Willson
About the Author
David A. Willson lives in the great land of Alaska with his family. His passions are faith, movies, books, traveling with his beautiful lady, and hanging out with his kids.
www.davidawillson.com
Finding Kai Page 25