My hands started to sweat as I entered the Pavilion and knocked against his door. I took in a huge breath, trying to steady my heartbeat.
There was a long moment of silence. My stomach quivered slightly. What if he doesn’t want to see me? He has done everything to avoid me since my return. Unwanted mist formed in my eyes. What if he blamed me for my mother’s death?
“Aurora?” Myrdinn said from behind me.
I spun around.
“Is everything okay?” His head was tilted to the side.
Traitorous tears slid down my cheeks. There was so much I had been holding back, so many emotions just waiting for the one tick that would send me over the edge. “Do you hate me?” I choked out. It wasn’t what I had planned on saying.
He held his arms open, and I fell into them, hugging him tightly. “Fates, no. You are my little girl,” he said into my hair, rubbing the back of my head soothingly.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” I stated, trying to stop myself from crying, but the flood gates had opened. There was so much guilt and pain and fear that I had been avoiding. He was a safe place to release it all. A place where there was no judgment, just love and understanding.
“No, I haven’t. I just didn’t want you to see me like this. I’ve needed time to collect myself. I lost your mother and I…I thought I had lost you too.”
My heart clenched tight. “I’m so sorry, dad. It’s all my fault.” I felt like I could break in half right there. This was the first time I had really let myself feel the loss of my mother.
He stopped me just before a sob broke loose, his hands bracing my shoulders. “It’s not your fault, Aurora. You have to stop blaming yourself. Your mother knew there would be risks involved when we decided to have you. We knew there would be a price.”
“You knew?” I asked in a whisper.
He reached around me and opened the door to his room. “Come inside,” he said, extending his arm for me to go first.
I walked past him and sat down on a pillow that rested near the front window.
He shut the door behind him and walked into the kitchen that was off to the right. He was wearing leather pants and a large white shirt, something I had never seen him in before. He always wore robes. Stubble shadowed the sides of his thinned face and dark circles rested under his eyes.
“Are you thirsty?” he asked from the sink. He set a pot on the stove and turned it on for tea.
“No,” I replied, inspecting the room. There wasn’t much to it. A small mat sat in the middle where disheveled sheets lay next to another sitting pillow. Books littered the floor. I picked one up near the lantern next to me.
“Necromancy: A Beginner’s Guide to Learning Dark Magic,” I read to myself. Why would he have this?
“I haven’t taken time to make myself at home,” he said, catching me off guard.
I dropped the book as quickly as I had picked it up.
He looked at me and then at the book. “It’s not what you think,” he said, his eyes wide.
“I wasn’t thinking anything,” I lied.
He sat down on the pillow across from me and placed his cup of tea down next to him, carefully folding his hands across his lap. “I just wanted to know,” he said softly.
“Know what?”
“If there was a way.” He kept his eyes off to the side instead of on me.
I waited to see if he would finish what he was saying, but nothing came. “A way for what?” I probed, careful not to sound too pushy.
His eyes met mine. “To bring your mother back.”
“Dad—”
His hand shot up. “Before you say anything, you need to know that I wouldn’t have gone through with it. Your mother would have killed me. But I had to see. I had to know if it was possible.”
“And…”
His head hung, shoulders slouched. “It’s not. At least not for a dragon.”
I couldn’t help the sigh of relief that whooshed out of me.
“I feel so lost,” he admitted, plunging a hand through his frazzled hair.
“Me too.” Truth was, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have any words of wisdom to take away the hurt that he was feeling. I had nothing to give that would soothe his constant ache.
He looked away from me, past anything that was in front of us. “This place will never be my home. I don’t have a home anymore.” His words were distant and tore at my heart.
“Dad,” I said, but he looked back at me and smiled sadly, stopping me from saying anything.
“You are leaving?” He changed subjects, still smiling.
I nodded.
“Then I suppose now would be the best time to explain everything. That is the one regret your mother always had, never being able to tell you everything.” He scooted forward on his pillow. “There have been so many secrets, so many things held back from you, all because we wanted to protect you. But after losing you and your mother, I have come to realize that secrets don’t always help, no matter how white they are.”
I scooted forward.
“Before all of this, before your mother and before Zordon’s reign, this land was peaceful. The world was ours for the taking. I was a young Mage with much potential, training alongside Zordon under Liege Lev’s command. He was a great man.”
My heart nearly stopped at the mention of Lev, and the memories of Zordon’s crystal ball came crashing back down on me. The crystal ball he had trapped Lev in. The one he kept on the mantle in his room.
“Dad—”
He held his hand up to stop me. “Those were the most peaceful years in the realm. All four Lieges were in allegiance and on the path of discovery. That is, until Lev abandoned us.”
“Dad, he—”
“Shortly after the rise of Zordon, we all fell under a dark cloud, allowing him to twist our thoughts into thinking that our race was the only race worth fighting for. Of course this drew a rift in between the Magium, separating the races as they are now. And one fateful day, I was given the task to decipher a prophecy about a Progeny who would change the times as we knew them. I didn’t know then that I would be deciphering the prophecy about my own daughter.
“Meeting your mother was no accident. As you may have guessed, we were pushed together by the hand of a Fate. By Iliana. We knew, even then, what we were getting ourselves into, but it didn’t matter. I loved your mother and she loved me, no matter how different and incompatible we were.”
“So Iliana helped bring you two together?” I was beginning to see just how far her hand played in my fate. She was responsible for it all.
He nodded and continued. “My magic alone could never have shifted your mother into a human. It was a gift from Iliana. She told us the strength of our love would enable us to conceive a child if we were willing to accept any sacrifices that came with it. She said the child we would conceive would be the beginning of a New Dawn. She would be the Progeny.”
He reached his hand out, waiting for mine. When I placed my hand in his, he squeezed it, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.
“We’ve known all along that this would never be easy. We knew we would have to give you up the minute Saeth caught wind of it, we just didn’t know that that would not be the only sacrifice.”
I waited until I knew he was done speaking and said, “I don’t think Lev abandoned his people.” The air fell eerily quiet between us.
“Come again?”
“Before I came back to this realm, one of the times I crossed over through the Oraculus, I was in Zordon’s bedroom. He held what looked like a crystal ball and talked to it. He said the name Lev and that if anyone knew he hadn’t abandoned them, there would be uproar. I never thought to say anything about it before with everything else happening.”
He placed his han
ds on my forearms. “You mean to tell me that Lev is alive and held captive?”
“I think so.”
He jumped up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “This is excellent news. If we could free him, everything could be restored. We could go back—”
“Dad,” I said, stopping him. “We can’t go back. I have to kill Zordon whether we return Lev to his throne or not. You know that.”
His face fell flat as he plopped back down on his mat, his hope now a fleeting memory.
“I am going to Nymph Island to see Darian and Naveena. You should come with me,” I said earnestly, hoping to bring back some happiness. “Maybe they could help us try to rescue him in the meantime?”
He released my hand, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I can’t.” He avoided my eyes, his lips turning south. “I just can’t right now.”
There was a short moment of silence before I said, “I understand.”
He smiled and then picked up his cup, finishing off his tea. “I love you, Little Flame. As did your mother. Always remember that, okay?” He stood and offered me his hand.
I nodded, afraid to speak.
I HUNG AROUND MYRDINN’S PLACE for a while, cherishing every last moment I had with him. We talked a little but mostly about nothing important.
He asked me about Fenn and the wedding and said that he was pleased that I was marrying him. I never really doubted it, but I felt happy to have his blessing. When I left his house, only hours away from dusk, I hugged him tighter than ever before, knowing that it would be a long while before I would see him again. This was my journey to walk. One that I had to walk without him.
I found Fenn with Lexi and Zane, training outside the Lyceum. Zane was the first to look my way, which in turn led him to being jabbed in the ribs with a staff by Fenn. Fenn laughed and then followed Zane’s gaze.
“Hey,” I said quietly.
Fenn dropped his staff and reached out for me. “Everything go okay?”
“We talked,” I answered honestly with a shrug.
“Talking is good,” Lexi said, getting up from the grass. I had to do a double take from the kind tone in her voice. Maybe the ice around her heart was finally thawing.
“He’s so lost,” I admitted, feeling almost numb. I knew I looked a mess in front of them. My eyes felt swollen and burned.
“It will get better, he just needs time to grieve,” Fenn consoled, pulling me into a hug.
“At least he cares,” Zane said bitterly. “Our father never did.” Zane placed his staff back on the wooden rack and then walked past us.
“What’s wrong with him?” I asked, my eyes following his steps from over Fenn’s shoulder.
“He’s just being moody,” Fenn muttered, watching his brother walk over to the fountain where he plopped down.
“You know why,” Lexi threw in, tilting her eyes in Fenn’s direction.
“Don’t,” he warned.
Her hands went up. “I’m just saying.” She picked Fenn’s staff up and put it on the rack, then walked over to where Zane sat, putting her arm around his shoulder.
“They’ve warmed up to each other,” I noted.
“Finally,” Fenn said in agreement. “We had a family meeting while you were with your dad. I figured it would be a good time to clear the air, especially considering the fact that we are about to leave. We all need to be on the same page.”
“You think I should talk to Zane?” I felt him tense up. “I know, Fenn, but really, I should be on the same page with him too. He needs to be able to let go.”
“I don’t understand it. He knows he doesn’t stand a chance with you.” He sounded possessive, and his knuckles clenched into knots.
I put my hand on his chest, bringing his eyes down to meet mine. “It’s not like that. I was one of the first people to ever give him a chance, Fenn. I believed in his goodness. I think he is confusing that appreciation with love.”
“No, Rory. He has genuine feelings for you. And as much as I hate to admit it, he is a good guy and does understand things about you that I never could. Things like your connection with Zordon and the darkness you feel. He knew our father. I didn’t. I never felt that darkness.”
“I should talk to him,” I reiterated. “Clear the air.”
His heavy sigh pushed the hair back from around my face. “Fine.”
We walked over to where Zane and Lexi sat. “Can I have a minute?” I asked Zane. Confusion flashed in his eyes. “I just want to talk,” I added.
“Oh boy,” Lexi muttered under her breath.
“Maybe you should do the same thing…with Brohm,” I heard Fenn say to her as Zane and I walked over near the stairs of the Lyceum. He sat two steps below me, waiting for me to go first.
I suddenly felt silly. What could I say? What if I was reading it all wrong? He watched me expectantly, furthering my sudden doubt.
“I, umm…I don’t really know how to say this… You see…” I started waving my hands around, trying to find the right words as my face deepened a few shades. “Do you have feelings for me?” I blurted out. What an idiot, I thought to myself.
A smirk spread across his face, brightening the color of his eyes. He laughed, and I awkwardly joined in, praying that I didn’t sound as stupid as I thought I did.
“That was blunt,” he remarked, still smirking. “I would never have expected that from you.”
“Me either,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“Why do you ask?” He sounded serious. I was a little scared to look at him so I fixed my eyes on the step below him.
“Because I want the air cleared, between us I mean.” My eyes deceived me and found his. Longing was in his eyes again, something that I was afraid of seeing. Although I loved Fenn and couldn’t picture myself with anyone else, I had a soft spot for Zane. One that I couldn’t explain. One that I knew could lead somewhere dangerous if I didn’t put a stop to it.
“I think you should ask yourself that same question…about me, I mean,” he said softly, searching my eyes.
I held his gaze, trying to ignore the tingly feeling in my stomach. “I love Fenn.” The words sounded like an excuse. Even I knew that.
He looked away, cursing under his breath. “That’s not an answer, that is a given.” His hand plunged through his thick hair.
“That is my answer.” I heard my voice shaking. It bothered me that he affected me so much.
He looked back up at me with fierceness in his eyes. “No, that is a safety net, Aurora. The answer is simple. Yes or no. Do you or don’t you have feelings for me? Fenn has nothing to do with it.”
I felt caught. How was I supposed to answer that? I wanted to clear the air. Clearing the air would mean being honest. I had to be honest with him and with myself if we were ever going to get past this.
“I do, Zane, but not like how I think you have feelings for me.” The small sliver of hope in his eyes darkened. “Maybe if things were different, but my fate was chosen for me the day I was born. My soul mate, Fenn, was chosen. When I close my eyes, I can’t see a future that doesn’t involve him.”
He shot daggers with his eyes. “Then why bother me? So you can inflate your ego?” he asked, his tone cutting as he looked away from me again.
“No,” I said heatedly. “Because I care, and because I don’t want to see that—” I reached down and turned his face towards me, ensuring he understood, “I don’t want to see that look in your eyes anymore. That look of longing and of betrayal.”
“You can’t get everything you want, Aurora.”
I rolled my eyes, letting his face go. “Don’t be immature about this. I am really trying here.”
“Why!?” he shouted, bracing himself to stand.
“Because I care! Didn’t you just hear me?” I shouted back. Fenn and
Lexi stood up, watching us.
He stood in front of me, quietly fuming. For a moment, I thought that would be it. I thought he would just walk away. But then he casted a quick glance over his shoulder in Fenn’s direction, and then stepped closer to me.
“You want the air cleared? This is what I feel, Aurora. You are pretty, smart, funny, strong…everything any man would want in a woman. But that’s not what pulled me to you. That isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.” His eyes pressed in a hard line, his hand reaching for my arm. “You showed me that there is always something to fight for. That there is always time for a second chance. The spirit in you, the ability to see past everyone’s flaws and to find the good in them, that is priceless, Aurora. You never gave up on me.”
He leaned closer, his words growing softer, his eyes growing darker.
“But you are my brother’s girl. A brother I never knew I had until I met you. Until I let you in. And because I love my newfound family, I am willing to set my feelings aside. I know where your heart lies so stop trying to prove that to yourself. Your fate was dealt, like you said.”
His eyes dropped to my mouth. My breath caught, but he pulled back. “Don’t worry about me, Progeny. You have enough on your plate. Consider the air cleared.”
And then he disappeared inside a portal.
I felt like a truck had just rammed into my heart. Fenn was already by my side. “See?” he scolded, pulling me into a hug.
“I didn’t know it was like that,” I admitted. I had feared, but I didn’t know.
Lexi took her time making her way up the stairs. “Always stirring something up,” she said as she looked down at me. “I’m going to go check on our brother,” she said to Fenn.
“Alexis?” someone said from the top of the stairs.
We all looked up. It was Brohm. He descended the steps slowly, a cautious look on his face.
“Do you remember me…at all?”
Lexi tucked her hair behind her ear, glancing down to the ground. “Yes, Brohm. What do you want?” She was trying to sound hard, but it wasn’t working. Her nerves were evident in the way her face flushed.
From the Embers (The Born in Flames Trilogy) Page 9