“Pop up,” Finn’s voice suddenly sounds God-like, booming over me like it’s from the clouds above.
I push myself up to my knee and struggle to stand … again. This time I keep my head up. There’s something about the way the sunlight glints off the sand ahead, it makes me think of wishing on stars and how every dream starts somewhere. This could be the start of my new dream. My new life. Focus narrows my eyes to slits. Tension clenches my jaw tight. Giving it everything I’ve got, I push down on my knee and prop myself to my feet. It isn’t graceful and it isn’t pretty. More like an unstable calf wobbling on newborn legs. But I did it. A joy I haven’t felt since I still thought Santa was real rushes me.
“I fucking did it,” I call out to Finn. Wind soars past my face and over my teeth since I can’t stop grinning.
Standing straight up, Finn a couple steps behind me, I literally feel like a bird soaring on an ocean breeze. “Yeah!” I scream at the sky, tilting my head back and lifting my arms overhead. Nothing can stop me. If I did this, what can’t I fucking do? A confidence I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before surges through my body. If I couldn’t feel the chilly water gliding over my feet, I wouldn’t be one hundred percent sure I wasn’t floating. “Fuck you, Blair,” I call out, feeling a bit cocky and almost a little high from all the endorphins. “Fuck you!”
I pump my fist at the sky and instantly know I’ve made a stupid mistake. I stagger too close to the edge of the board and feel my balance fail me as my shoulders almost feel too heavy and my body lurches to the side. “Ahhh, shit,” I hiss. Everything blurs as I plunge into the ocean. I twist under the powerful waves and try to kick my feet to go up, but up feels like it’s a scary distance away.
I writhe and wrench through the water, trying to break through the surface. My lungs burn for breath. My mind is running on pure instinct. Every muscle in my body has one purpose, one goal—swim.
I fight to hold my breath. I fight to reach oxygen. I fight to survive.
13
Finn
What the actual fuck? There’s no time to wonder about what kind of crazy I stepped in. All I know is she fell off the board and I’ve got to go get her. I dive off the back, abandoning my surfboard in the whitecaps rolling toward the beach. One thing about the crystal clear water off our island, it makes it easy to spot flailing tourists who get in over their heads. Usually, it’s from drinking too much and falling off the side of party cruises, not because they started cursing at the sky or God or whatever out on a surfboard, but here we are.
I push my head side to side through the water in slow motion, my hair flips around my face almost like a long tangle of seaweed. I push it away from my sight and search for Joss. Everything is clear, but I don’t see her. I pop to the surface, flicking my hair back to push it free from my view. I swim in a full circle, searching frantically for one thing. For one person. And I don’t see her anywhere.
Fuck.
Drawing air deep into my lungs, I dive back down and swim out farther. It’s surprising how far away a surfboard can get from you when you wipe out. I know from experience. When she fell or jumped or whatever happened, it took me a second to follow. She must be out deeper than I am now. I slice through the water, frantically looking around for her. I have to break through the surface for oxygen again and I yell her name as I desperately look for any sign of her. There is none. Panic rises up like churning stomach acid in the back of my throat. What if I don’t find her? What if she hit her head? What if …
Forcing myself to push it all away, I focus. No fucking way am I going down that road. Get it together, Finn. Determined, I inhale deeply and swim back down beneath the surface. This time I twist around slowly, like I’m doing some kind of dreamlike ballet move as I scan through the blur for Joss. All I see are streaks of sunlight shining down on fish, sand, and … there!
My body is begging for oxygen. Knowing how much worse she must be feeling propels me toward her. All I want to do is gasp at the air until my lungs don’t hurt anymore, still, I push myself through the distance toward her. Fingers stretched wide, I grab her arms and lift her to the surface, pulling her close. We break through the waves. I gulp at the fresh air, my arms locked around her, we bob up and down, waves rolling us in closer to the shore.
Joss sputters, coughing hard and draws in a breath.
“Oh my God, thank you,” I mutter.
“I’m sorry,” Joss sobs. “I’m so sorry.” She almost chokes on her words.
“Shhh.” I keep her wrapped tight against me. I’m not letting her go anywhere after scaring me like that. “I got you. You’re safe,” I try to soothe her.
Joss drops her head to my shoulder and cries hard. I can’t help but comfort her. Holding her tight around the waist with one arm, I run my hand down over her soaked hair with the other. “Everything is going to be okay, Joss. I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” I reassure her.
My legs are propelling us closer to the beach; I’m looking all calm and soothing on the top half, but under the water, I’m kicking with everything I’ve got. It isn’t long until it’s shallow enough for my feet to press into wet, packed sand. Joss tries to stand up, but I swoop my arm under her legs and keep her pressed into my chest as I walk her out from the ocean.
As the water becomes nothing more than a tickle of foamy bubbles around my ankles, I step back onto solid land with her in my arms. Joss looks up at me, wide-eyed, guilt creeping over her features, staining her face red and drawing her eyebrows up in the middle. I drop her feet, making sure she has the strength and presence of mind to stand upright. She blinks like the light is new to her eyes and glances at me sheepishly.
“Thanks for saving my ass out there,” she whispers, her body still pressed into mine.
I grab her by both shoulders and give her a shake, ideas of what could have happened out there swirling through my head. “What the fuck were you doing, Joss? You could’ve drowned? Is that what you were going for? ’Cause I’m not interested in a chick with a death wish,” I growl as her eyes grow from sheepish to frightened.
“N-No.” She shakes her head, her eyes cast downward. “I’m sorry.” Her voice cracks.
“I don’t want to think about what almost happened out there.” Now my voice is the one giving out on me. “I don’t want to think about how fucking close you came to dying out there.” I cup her chin and draw her face up to mine. Joss meets my eyes, her chin quivering in my hand. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you,” I murmur.
Heat grows between us, Joss stops shivering and looks up at me. Her eyes dart from mine, down over my face and back up again. I can see the uncertainty in there. It’s dancing around with something else. Something exciting. Something dangerous. Her lips are so pink and full, I don’t give a fuck if any of this makes sense, this jumble of confusion and blended emotions is wrecking me right now. I lean into her, kissing her like I just proposed to her on top of the Eiffel tower instead of having brought her back from the edge of a watery death.
I run my hand down her back, our bodies are so close, only wet, flimsy swimsuits are holding us back from each other. Our kiss, it starts out crushing and hurried, but I slow it down. My edges soften. Well, not everywhere softens. One place in particular is revving up to be anything but soft. I hope my step back will prevent me from walking up the beach with a distinct bulge swaying in my vacuum-sealed trunks.
“Let’s get you warmed up.” I grasp her hand, nodding up at the shop a little ways up the beach. Joss blinks and gives a little nod in agreement.
Before we head out, I glance over the water and spot my board washing up on the shore. As we make our way up the wet sandbar, I yank it free from the chaos of being pulled and pushed with every crashing wave. Holding it tight under one arm and almost holding Joss equally tight under the other, I lead her to the surf shop. To warmth and safety. And, if it leads to more tears or more kisses, I’m here for either.
14
Joss
I’m sitting on the counter at his surf shop, a warm blanket draped over my shoulders. I bend my nose toward the rising steam and it smells so good. “What is it?”
“Mamaki tea, it’s a natural plant in Hawaii. I have a friend who swears it soothes the soul. I dunno about that shit, but I figure it’s worth a shot.” He shrugs.
He watches me closely as I take a sip, his dark eyebrows wrinkled together. Now, I’ve heard near-death experiences can make people change their lives around, but do they usually make you want to jump a guy and ride him like you’re trying to out-clock a bull?
No? Only me?
I stare down into my mug, trying to hide from him. From the way he’s glaring at me, I can tell he’s not impressed with how our little surf lesson went. I know I should feel embarrassed or something, but when he looks at me like that, all intense and serious, it doesn’t make me feel small or shy. I’m feeling wet and it ain’t from the ocean.
“How are you doing?” Finn is still frowning, but I can hear in his voice it’s not from frustration but concern. “You, uh, seemed to have a little freak-out or something out there?” He says it like a question. Like he expects an answer. An explanation.
“Yeah, I got a bit carried away.” I rub my hand down the back of my neck. Okay, so maybe I do feel a bit small. How could I not? When he towers over me, his body tightens, flexing with every movement. Oh, there we go, the tingle is back.
“What were you yelling about?” Finn takes a step toward me and a million things run through my head. Not one of them is explaining why I’m pissed off at my ex-fiancé though. Not a single one.
“I think I needed to vent a bit.” I place the almost empty mug on the counter beside me. “Don’t you ever just need to work shit out?” I smirk.
“Not like that I don’t. Maybe next time, save the yelling at the sky thing for solid ground.” Finn’s lips twitch up into an almost smile and my heartbeat does double Dutch.
“Next time? You mean I haven’t scared you off for good?” I lean back, both my palms flattened to the counter behind me. I don’t miss the flicker of his eyes as he soaks in the view under the open blanket.
“Pfft, it’ll take more than a search and rescue to send me packing.” His lips curl into a smile as he closes the distance between us. I slide my legs open on the counter and he steps between them.
“Really?” I smile back. “I’m glad to hear that.” I can’t help but stare at his lips as he moves in closer.
“You know, if you wanna keep doing your sky shouting thing, I’m cool with it. But, if you’re interested, I know other ways we can work those frustrations out.” He plants his hands on either side of my legs and drops his head level to mine. Our faces are less than an inch apart. His gray eyes demand my attention and I’m only too willing to give it.
“I might be interested,” I meet his stare. “What did you have in mind?” I try to sound nonchalant but there is no chill in my voice.
“Oh, I don’t know.” He drags his hand down over my thigh, his fingers brushing like a feather over the front of my bikini bottoms. “I think I can find other ways to make you scream at the sky,” he muses.
“Prove it,” I manage to whisper.
Finn slides his finger into my mouth and I suck on it, then he pulls it slowly from my lips and slips it under my bottoms. Heat feels like it is shooting out through where his fingertip slowly eases inside my pussy. His hand grinds down against my clit as his thick finger opens me up around him. I cry out as an ache for so much more than his finger burns up inside me. The blanket falls down my shoulders and onto the floor behind the counter. His beard tickles my neck as he kisses my earlobe, rolling it over his teeth, somehow making all the sensations radiating through me much more powerful.
My ponytail dances across my back as I tilt my head back, getting lost in it all. “How’s this for proof?” he rumbles in my ear as he thrusts his finger, slick with my arousal, deeper inside. I buck up against his hand, rolling my hips, needing this so fucking bad. The heel of his palm rocks back and forth over my clit and my chest rises and falls quicker than before.
He’s so strong, the rigid muscles in his thighs press into my legs and remind me this is as close to fucking a Herculean god as I will ever come in this life. Speaking of rigid, his thick outline pressing against his bathing suit is looking like nine inches of sturdy ridges I want to ride.
“You feel so good,” I whimper, needing to cum so bad I can’t even control my voice.
“Louder, I want to hear you,” he demands, bringing me to climax.
My orgasm rolls over me like those waves out there and all I can do is moan. “Ahhh!” I cry out like a wolf howling at the moon. Unbridled. Wild. My back arches and my head flips back and I surrender to the tremors of pleasure still running through me.
My mouth is dry and my eyelids feel heavy but I manage to open them and look up at Finn’s smiling face. “Feeling better?” He’s looking pretty smug, to be honest.
“Not yet,” I obviously lie.
“Oh, no?” He mocks surprise but I can see the telltale sparkle in his eyes giving him away.
“No.” I lean forward and ease myself to the edge of the counter. Finn stares down at my tits shamelessly.
“Well, what do you think I can do to fix that for ya?”
I look straight in his eyes and grab the elephant in the room, so to speak. Right by the trunk. Finn gives a guttural sound. It makes me want to see what kind of noises I can force from his lips if I use mine. “I need more,” I murmur, sliding down over the edge of the counter down onto my knees in front of him.
“I’ll give you more than you can handle,” he warns me and if any other guy said it, I’d roll my eyes so hard they’d get stuck. However, in this case, the proof is right in front of my face. He unties his boardshorts and they drop to his ankles. I don’t hesitate to grab him with both hands and twirl my lips down his shaft as he groans.
I look up his body and feel like I’m blowing a movie star or something. How was I about to get married without ever knowing real guys like this existed on the planet? Was I really about to spend the rest of my life with a man who thought “spicing things up” was having the exact same sex in the morning instead of just before ten at night?
What the fuck was I thinking?
I twirl my tongue around Finn and the deep, gutteral sound that escapes his lips makes excitement surge inside me. I feel powerful, knowing that I control this huge, hulking man’s pleasure with just my mouth. Finn wraps his hand in my wet ponytail, tugging it slightly. From my knees, I lock eyes with him and a grimace dances over his rugged features that reminds me how closely connected pleasure and pain really are.
“Ahhh, fuck yeah. Take it all,” he slides his hips forward and I do my best to push my lips to the base of his cock, but it’s too much. Instead I use my hands and bob my head at the same time, going as deep as I can. Finn surges in my mouth as he loses control. His cum is like the Hawaiian breeze, warm and a little bit salty. He leans over me, supporting his body on the counter, it looks like I’m not the only one who was feeling tremors. His breathing is ragged and he looks at me with a vulnerability I wasn’t expecting.
“Get the fuck over here with that mouth,” he demands. I raise to my feet and let him pull me into him. I enjoy how his lips feel soft and rough at the exact same time. I could kiss him forever.
Rap-rap-rap!
What the hell? We both jump like we’re suddenly playing the floor is made of lava.
“Oh, shit. I’m late opening the store.” Finn looks up at a custom-made wall clock out of what looks like a child-sized surfboard. It’s quarter after nine already? How the fuck did that happen? Finn quickly yanks his shorts back on and ties them up and I smile. I guess time flies.
I double-check my bikini, making sure I’m all tucked in, and nod to
the door. “I should let you get to this though. This was amazing, for real. I hope I really do get to see you again.” I let him see a bit of my vulnerable side too.
Finn grabs a shirt from behind the counter and tugs it on. “How about I pick you up tonight?”
Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. “I, um, can’t tonight. I have plans with Benji. Remember, you met him on the beach the other day?”
“The guy cost me twenty-five bucks because of his fifty-shot drink. Of course, I remember him.” He smiles down at me and it makes me feel even shittier about my lie. Why don’t I tell him I have a date? It’s not like we’re serious or ever going to be. What’s the big deal here?
“How about tomorrow morning then? If you’re not late, we can do the whole near-death experience part in a flash, then I can get back to warming you up,” he teases me.
Fuck yeah, he can.
“You got it.” I walk to the door and he unlocks it. There are already a few customers waiting. I walk past them and turn back to Finn, watching me from inside. “To more near deaths and la petite morts tomorrow.” I smirk.
“Wait, what?” he calls out.
“It means little death. It’s how the French describe orgasms.” I grin when his cheeks flush slightly and some of the customers giggle. “See ya tomorrow.”
15
Joss
I’m about to slide my hotel card through the key slot to open the door to my suite when Benji moans from inside the room … loudly. I stop, my hand frozen in midair. It sounds like I’m not the only one having a good time on our little getaway. I should probably go. The only thing is, I’m only wearing a bikini and I don’t have my purse with me. When I was rushing out this morning, it was bare essentials only.
So, now what do I do? I don’t want to interrupt anything Benji might have going on, but I’ve got nowhere to go and no money to get there with. I look down at the handle, looking for the Do Not Disturb sign or even a necktie or a sock to be hanging there as a warning, but there’s nothing. Sighing, I decide to give a little knock, hoping that if I am interrupting something I can get in and out quick. Please let me run it and grab my purse without ruining everything for him.
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