by Candy Nicks
"No way.” He flicked a catch and the low hum of his blast-gun changed pitch. “Stay behind me."
Grasping a handful of Brynn's leather sleeve, she inched forward, matching each careful step. The shape of a man, crouched low, came into view. On the ground, beside him, another man lay unmoving. The dog snuffled excitedly at the prone man's coat. The crouched man lifted his head.
"He's dead."
The sickly stench of blood made Naima recoil. Brynn tensed and shoved her back.
"Finn, it's Naima.” She didn't have to ask what had happened. Was it legal to kill a bounty hunter? Did anyone care for the lives of the scum who traded human flesh with such disregard?
"I killed him."
Did she hear anguish, regret? Finn sounded broken rather than relieved at having finally removed the threat to his life.
"Finn, it's Brynn. My blood saved your life when you first came here. Who've you killed? Bounty-hunter?"
A low growl had Brynn pushing her away from the grisly silhouette. “It's all right,” she said. “Only the dog. Finn needs me. Let me go."
"Keep hold of me.” Brynn clasped her hand in his and let her move in front of him, his arm tightening around his gun.
Cautiously, she took a step and held out her other hand. Amber eyes glowed faintly in the deep shade. What happened now? Go back to the Settlement and leave the dead man here, for someone to find? She cursed their indiscretion. Too many people had seen the blind man and the couple from the Settlement, searching for him with armed weapons. In the morning, the travellers would find a corpse. She prayed the bounty hunter wasn't one of their own. If so, they'd have a full-scale clan war on their hands.
"We need to hide the body.” Brynn was way ahead of her. “Can't leave it here."
"She made me do it. Finn laughed; a short bitter sound. “There's no hiding from her."
Naima moved cautiously forward, taking in the state of his ripped clothing with alarm. “Can I touch you?” she asked.
"You have to ask? You think I'll do the same to you?” Finn shrugged, oddly calm and resigned. “I don't blame you."
"Let me go, Brynn.” Naima struggled to release herself. Only when Brynn saw her distress did he let her go. Throwing caution to the wind, she dropped to her knees in front of Finn and held out her arms.
"I've been so worried,” she said. “Let us help you.” To her relief, Finn fell forward into her arms and lay, limp as a sleeping child. “You're coming back with us. No one will make you go anywhere or do anything you don't want to."
"I can't go back."
Brynn dropped to one knee beside them. “You must. Naima told me what you are. Likely to be a big price on your head and more of this scum after you. You'll be safer in the Settlement. Go with Naima. I'll get rid of the body."
"Finn, listen to me.” Naima cradled his face with a palm on each cheek and gazed into his un-seeing eyes. He appeared only vaguely aware of their presence, focused more on some inward horror. “Put the eyeshades back on, get up and come back to the Settlement with me. Let Brynn get rid of this ... Come on, Finn. We must go back."
"He's in shock,” Brynn said. “Here, give him my jacket and keep talking to him. Who's this she? Surely not Carine?"
"No.” Naima continued stroking Finn's back and hair. He held on to her as if she were a life-raft in a stormy sea. Who had dealt the mortal blow? The wolf or the man? “The Lupines belong to the Goddess. I think he means her."
Brynn bent over the prone body, two fingers pressed to the neck. “Get Finn back to the Settlement. Look at the hair. This man's a Rom too. If he belongs to any of those clans out there, we'll have more trouble than we can handle."
"No, he's not one of them. He's not my first, either.” Finn pushed himself upright to standing. “He was right. I can't control this thing inside of me."
Naima tried to ignore the blood, now staining her coat. “Yes, you can. I'll help you,” she said with increasing desperation. I'm losing him, she thought. We'd hardly started, and already I'm losing him.
Finn shook his head. “This, with you, it's all been a dream. Now it's time to wake up. Do you know how many people I've killed? Killed?” He laughed. “Slaughtered is the word. She owns me, Naima. Made me kill my own father to make her point."
"He's your father? Oh Finn..."
"This isn't the place,” Brynn said. Naima looked around, bewildered. She'd forgotten he was there. “This man's still alive,” he continued. “We might save him if we get him back to the Settlement. Or I could end it. Bury him quietly, over there in the woods. It's up to you. What do you want me to do?"
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Chapter 13
The Bitch of a Goddess obviously hadn't finished with him. Equal parts relief and despair flooded Finn's heart as he heard his father splutter and groan. Brynn telling the man to be still while he checked his injuries. How easy it would be to let Brynn quietly smother the man and bury him in an unmarked grave. The sin wouldn't even be his.
"Save him.” He knew what he'd condemned himself to by saying those words. The dog nuzzled his hand in sympathy.
"You're sure?” The sharp sound of tearing cloth split the air. “We need to stop this bleeding pretty fast, or we'll lose him."
"Save his useless life. It's time I moved on. I've been here too long."
"Finn, you can't leave. You're not well enough. What about us?"
Naima's voice seemed to come from a great distance. His brain felt foggy, as it used to when they'd pumped him full of drugs to keep him docile. His mate, and he was too weak to claim her.
Turning, he rested his forehead on the cold metal of the van. “How's Carine?” he asked. “Still alive?"
"Yes.” Naima crept closer, as if unsure of her welcome. “Finn, come back with me. I need you."
"I knew I'd come here for something,” he said quietly. “Even half-dead, I felt driven by an unseen hand.” He shook his head. “I thought it was for you, but I get it now. All right,” he said opening his arms wide and tipping his head back to the sky. “My wonderful Goddess. You've made your point. What do you want me to do? Jump into the fire? Is that what passes for entertainment up there in Paradise?"
"Finn, no. No one wants you to sacrifice yourself. Least of all Carine. Stop talking like this. You're scaring me."
Naima's warm body pressed against his back. Her arms wound around him. His mate—in another life. Not this one.
"I don't mean to,” he said. “I can't ignore this any more. I'll never know peace until I start listening to Her."
"It's not as bad as we thought.” Brynn sounded relieved as he worked on the injured man. “Most of the blood's from this wound on his shoulder. If we're taking him back, we need to go now."
"Yes, take him back. Save him. But tell him not to follow me."
"Finn, think,” Naima said. “You fought with your father, and you're distraught. It doesn't mean you need throw away your life in atonement. You don't have to run away every time something goes wrong. This is only the start of a whole lifetime. I'm here to help you. Let me."
Turning, he took her in his arms and held her close. Railing against fate used so much more energy than quiet capitulation. Energy he didn't have. If he chose to ignore the Goddess now, she'd chip away at him until nothing remained.
"I'd stay if I could,” he said. “She won't allow it. Better to get this over. If there's anything left at the end of it, I'll come back for you."
Naima's fingers dug into his arms. “Brynn, tell him he's not well enough to go anywhere. Father will understand. He's an escaped slave and he knows..."
"I can't tell him what to do, Naima. Sorry, we have to go."
"You can't save Carine's soul, Finn. You'll kill yourself for nothing."
"Well, perhaps I can save mine."
"What about me?” Naima's voice sounded small and bleak. “I thought you loved me and now you want to rush off on some fools errand? How will I go on without you?"
Muted voices drifted
on the edge of his consciousness. Finn imagined the fires going out one by one, the travellers tucking into their bedding rolls. He heard the dog snuffling about in the grass, his father groaning out an agonised cry as Brynn hoisted him aloft. Naima's chest rose and fell against his as they breathed together. Letting go was harder than he'd imagined, despite his brave words.
"Do you think I'm being selfish?"
"No. I just wish it could be different."
"Come on, Naima. We need to get back. We'll be in enough trouble when your father finds out we left the Settlement, let alone arriving with this bundle of joy."
"Brynn, I'm staying here. With Finn. My place is by his side. If he's leaving, I'm going with him."
Finn's heart missed a beat at the words he'd dared not ask her. Yet though his heart did a happy dance, he heard himself telling her to return to the Settlement.
"Do you think your father would rest one single day if you disappeared with me?"
"Probably not, but Finn, I want to tell you this. Watch for me and listen for me. I will be in every sunrise and in every sunset. I will be the wind in the trees and the soft rain falling in your hair. I claim you as my own. For all of this life, until death us do part. Will you do the same for me?"
"Yes, without question. Wherever I end up, you'll always be in here.” He placed her hand over his heart.
"You don't understand. They're marriage vows,” she said. “Of the tribes of the Eagle. Regardless of what you choose, I want to commit to you. Would you like to ... say yours?” She faltered, as if she wasn't sure whether she'd overstepped the mark. “It's usually the man's task to make the first approach. I hope you didn't mind. I just wanted you to know what I feel for you."
"Mind?” How could she ever know the value of those words? Binding herself to someone like him took a mighty big leap of faith. “I don't know what to say. Apart from yes."
"Mala, caniara olivatente.” The grate of his father's pain-filled voice surprised him. “Repeat the words, son."
"Marriage vows?"
"Of the Rom tribes.” His father coughed and continued. “Delabita conatre more inult. Walk with me, share with me. Laugh with me, cry with me. Say them, son. Don't let her get away."
"Why? So we can breed Lupines for you to exploit?” Curse his father's timing and interference. Why had he opened his big mouth?
"Naima, I can't. Not right now,” Finn said with genuine regret. Not when it feels like I'm just following his orders.
She had to be the most tenacious person on the planet. “Give me one more day,” she said refusing to let go. “You owe me for saving your life. Come back with us now and I'll supply you and kit you out for your journey. You can't just wander into the night like this with no clothes and food."
What difference would a day make? “Yes, I'll return with you,” he said accepting Brynn's jacket. “I need to talk to Carine, anyway."
And be with Naima for one last night before he set off on his hero's journey.
A blind man chasing a dream? Or a wolf, the Goddess's messenger, about to keep its date with destiny? Only one way to find out.
* * * *
Brynn carried Finn's father to the infirmary. Naima, guilt-ridden by her absence, hurried to see how Carine fared. Ancel nodded in acknowledgement when Finn appeared behind her.
"She seems to be rallying,” he said. “Ranting a lot, but it's better than watching her lie there, looking like one dead. I see you found him."
"Yes. Father, we also found an injured man outside the walls. Brynn's taken him to the infirmary."
"One of the travellers?"
Beside her, she was aware of Finn's intense scrutiny of Carine. Head cocked, he listened to every breath, appraising her precarious perch on life. He, more than anyone, would know if she would live or die.
"I don't know. He looked as if a wild animal had savaged him. We couldn't just leave him."
"I'd better go take a look. Will you stay with her?"
"Yes. We both will."
Ancel stared long and hard at Finn, his brow creased in puzzlement by the state of Finn's clothing and his fixation on Carine.
"I told you not to leave the Settlement,” Ancel said turning back to Naima.
"We heard the man crying out in pain.” It sounded lame, and Ancel's pursed lips held back questions he was obviously dying to ask. Instead, he decided to bestow some fatherly advice on Finn.
"I understand why you left us this afternoon,” he began. “I hope you'll be showing my daughter more loyalty in the future?"
Behind the eyeshades, Finn's gaze remained trained on Carine. “No one will ever love her as I do."
Point made, Ancel patted Finn's arm in a gesture of solidarity and excused himself without further comment. Naima propped herself on the edge of the bed and touched Carine's brow.
"She seems cooler. I think she's turned the corner."
"She'll live.” Finn stepped forward stopping beside the bed. “Well,” he said to her sleeping figure. “You wanted me to help you, and it seems I must play my part. You get your prayers answered at the expense of mine.” He bowed; a slightly mocking gesture. “When has anyone cared about my feelings?"
Naima raised her head, startled by the emptiness in his tone. “I do."
"I know. Just makes this all the harder. Hell, I hate all this self-pity. Not sure I'm cut out to be a noble sacrifice.” He fumbled for the bed and dropped heavily onto the edge, head in hands. The shirt cuffs slid back over his thin wrists, but already Naima saw a difference between the emaciated man who'd appeared on the verge of death and the one who sat opposite her now. There was more of him. Muscle and flesh, a healthier colour, hair reclaiming its shine. Signs that the person he used to be was returning.
For someone who'd lived his life in a cage, he possessed a shrewd intelligence. An air of worldly experience. Hardly surprising. Finn had probably seen more of the world, encountered a wider variety of people, than she had. He'd been educated, she knew that much.
"The wolf, on the other hand, has a direct connection to Her above.” He raised his eyes heavenward. “Stupid beast has heard the call. All I can do to hold it back."
"Then you need me more than ever,” Naima said. “I'll keep you grounded as a man."
"The wolf's feeling stronger by the day. Too dangerous for you to be around it."
"You'd never hurt me. It would never hurt me. Finn, are you listening?"
His lips moved, as if in silent prayer. On the bed, Carine twitched and murmured under her breath. With increasing frustration, Naima watched them communicating on a level she would never be able to access. Talking of things, she found hard to understand. Her own Gods didn't toy with people's lives. They acted, or they abstained as they saw fit. Never did they dangle people over precipices with no idea whether they were to drop to their doom or live to fight another day.
For how many summers had the Goddess been playing this game with Carine? Eight? That would have made Finn sixteen summers old when Carine made her fateful bargain with Vin.
I won't be excluded, she vowed. If Finn remained determined to undertake this quest, she'd stand by him and help ensure that he came back alive. Perhaps her role was simply to bear witness? Sing songs of his sacrifice. No. She scrubbed a hand over her face and refocused. Her task was to save Finn's life. Not watch him die. Carine muttered a stream of words and lifted a hand.
"She wants to take my sins. Purify me for the journey. Fetch the crystal, Naima."
"You can't let her.” How many more sins could Carine carry before crumpling under their weight?
"Shall I just dump them on her, and disappear?” Finn laughed. “How far do you think I'd get?"
"You wouldn't do that."
"No. No, I wouldn't. Fetch the Crystal before Ancel comes back."
Naima looked around instinctively both for the resting place of the Crystal and her father's return. “What if something goes wrong?” she asked. “If you don't come back, Carine will be left with your sins. Is ther
e a fail-safe?"
"Who knows?” Finn lifted a shoulder, exhaustion dulling his earlier burst of enthusiasm. “Let's do this, shall we? I'm tired."
Where did Carine keep her Crystal? In a velvet bag. Probably near to her person. Naima opened the drawer in the table flanking the bed and sorted through the pictures, writers and assorted trinkets. No luck. Carine's jacket? Yes.
Naima tipped it from the bag and held it reverently on her open palm. It glowed faintly in anticipation. Powerful magic—in the right hands. A gift that had eluded Carine all these years. When Naima moved closer to Finn, the Crystal's glow increased. She saw him shiver as the Crystal's aura merged with his.
For the chosen ones, magic wove through the fabric of their every day lives. Through her healing work, Naima had only begun to understand how the unseen world could feel as real as the trees or the clouds in the sky. By now, she knew well the power of thought. How strength of will might determine who would live and who would die.
Finn and Carine operated on another level entirely. They took the fantastic for granted. While Naima still wasn't entirely convinced that someone could be both beast and man, Finn blithely talked of the wolves as kin and the Lupine as something more than just a mythical creature.
"Give it to her."
Naima pressed the Crystal into Carine's curled fingers, envious of her link with Finn. “I touch your heart,” she said to him. “She touches your soul. I'm jealous."
"Believe me,” he said, with a shake of his head. “You wouldn't want this. Carine, can you hear me?"
Hugging herself, Naima stepped away from the bed. “It doesn't seem fair to burden her with more sins."
"My sins won't change the outcome for her. She's bound for the Pit one way or another. What happens now?"
"I've no idea. Do you want me to leave?"
"No, stay.” Finn's voice held a hint of panic. “Be a part of this—I have no idea where to start. Carine? Do something. We don't have much time."