Cold As Ice

by Piper Rayne

Jan turns to me, her eyes testing, prodding. What does she know?

  Mia swivels in her chair, directly in her mom’s line of vision.

  “It was an accident, Mom. Grady is really sorry for not coming around and—”

  “Forgetting your brother. That’s what he did. He went on and got everything that should have been Brandon’s.”

  I watch Bob’s hand move under the table to his wife’s leg in an attempt to calm her.

  “Jan, I can reassure you—” I start.

  She places her hand in front of my face. “You have no idea how hard it is to look at you, please do not speak to me.”

  “I will not allow you to talk to my son that way.” My mom throws her napkin on the table.

  Mia swipes a tear from her face.

  “I’m doing this for your own good.” Jan places her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “He won’t be there for you long term. He only cares about his own success, that will always come first.”

  “You’re wrong! My son is caring and compassionate. Now, I don’t know why he and Brandon lost touch, but I’m sure there are reasons. If Mia can accept them, then I think you should back off.” My mom’s shaking hand grabs her champagne glass.

  “Caring is not a word I’d use to describe your son,” Jan says.

  “Mom, he was like a second son to you once.” Mia is racked with tears and I slide my chair out, but Mia doesn’t move.

  “Enough,” I say a little too loudly, causing people from nearby tables to glance over.

  Mia turns around, her makeup smeared down her cheeks. My heart hiccups seeing her this upset.

  Jan sits back with a smug look on her face and I see Brandon making his way over from the corner of my eye.

  “The accident was my fault. I’m the reason Brandon was hurt.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “What?” Mia’s small voice says, her watery eyes wide.

  “Don’t,” Brandon’s eyes find mine from across the table. “I’m not sure what happened when I left, but this entire feud is stupid. If Mia wants to be with Grady, then leave them be.”

  “No, Brandon. I’m getting this out.” I sit back down and take Mia’s hands in mine. “The night of the accident. I’m the reason for Brandon’s fall.”

  “No, you weren’t.” Brandon fights against what I’m about to say. “Stop it, Grady.”

  “I can’t keep it in anymore.” I look from Brandon to Jan. “You’re right, I don’t deserve your daughter and you shouldn’t trust me with another child of yours.” Then I concentrate on Mia again. “You know we’re competitive, Brandon and I?”

  She nods, fear in her eyes.

  “I challenged him to do a trick I knew he couldn’t land.”

  “Grady,” my mom sighs.

  “Fuck that, I would’ve done the same to you,” Brandon says.

  “Why?” Mia asks.

  “Because, I wanted to be number one.” The truth, my truth slips out so easy and simple that it’s hard to imagine why it took me this long to admit it to everyone. “I knew it was dangerous for him to try it, but I let him. I didn’t back down and tell him not to do it. I pushed him to give it a go, knowing he’d probably end up hurting himself.”

  The table is quiet, waiting for me to continue. My eyes prick and I blink rapidly. “The reason I never went to see Brandon was because I couldn’t even stand to look at him because of all the guilt and shame I had. When they said he would never snowboard again, and I was the cause of it, I just couldn’t look at him without hating myself for what I did to him. I was a chicken shit and it seemed easier to stay away.”

  “But...”

  I place my finger on her lips. “Mia, you’re beautiful and these last few weeks, you’ve pulled something out of me…a hope for a life outside of all this. I’ll never forget our time together.”

  Her gaze falls to her lap. “Your mom is right, I’m not the right guy for you.”

  I stand up, leaning down one last time and kissing her cheek. “Don’t doubt yourself up there, you’re a talented snowboarder, love the sport and everything else will follow.”

  Walking away, I head out of the ballroom. Time to pack up my gear and do what I do best. Train. I can’t be Mia’s number one, but I can be number one on that podium.

  * * *

  After packing my bags and hightailing it out of the hotel, I head back to the slopes. The lights are on which means others are there, but at this point, I don’t give a shit about lines.

  As I get closer, there’s only one person still up there.

  Matt Peterson.

  Waiting for him to finish up, I strap on my board, position my goggles and prepare for my turn. Once he’s off the pipe, I press play for the playlist on my phone. It’s been the same soundtrack I made up a week ago, but when the first song begins, it’s not the one it should be. Having no time to check it, I go with it, thinking I must’ve pressed shuffle by mistake.

  I drop into the pipe, the lyrics of the music taking me far away from my tricks, the beat a tad slower than my usual. By the time I reach the end, I already know that I didn’t put this on my phone.

  Taking off my gloves, I grab my phone out of my pocket, and when I see what’s on the screen, it’s like a knife piercing through my heart.

  Slow down, Killer, with a heart emoji is listed as the playlist name.

  “That was a killer set,” a voice says next to me.

  Matt stands at the edge and out of all the times we’ve been thrown together, we’ve never really had a conversation.

  “Thanks,” I say.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be at some sponsor party?” he asks, grabbing his board and starting to walk up the pipe so I follow along with him.

  “I need to train if I’m going to be first.”

  He laughs, his head falling back. “Do you ever have fun? Actually, scratch that. I think I heard a rumor about you and Mia Salter.”

  I nod. “Guess the rumor mill is running behind.”

  “Over already?” His eyes widen. “Story of us athletes, huh?”

  He straps himself to the board, and positions his goggles. “Let’s see if I can land this trick.”

  He moves into position, and I sit down with the board strapped to my feet, watching his set.

  Damn, he really is good. He gets to the end and again, he can’t hold it completely, his hand stretching to catch himself should he fall backward.

  Instead of taking a ride myself, I wait for him up on the hill.

  “You’re not going?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “You’re coming down wrong.”

  “No shit,” he says, but doesn’t seem completely against me helping him.

  “As your coming down, stay heavy on that back foot.” I stand up. “Watch how I come down this time, it might help you.”

  He takes my spot on the snow and I insert my earbuds, playing another song that Mia put in my music library.

  Just like the previous one, the lyrics keep my mind busy, the beat making it easy to stay in my groove. The last trick I do a 360 with a smooth grip. When I come down, I try to mimic what I want Matt to do.

  After gliding to the bottom of the pipe, I wait to watch him. He slides down and drops into the pipe, flawless like every other time. All of his tricks looking like gold material and then he gets to the last one and he lands, not perfect, a tad wobbly, but he didn’t fall and his hand never reached down.

  “Fuck yeah!” His hands are in the air before he reaches me. “Thanks, man,” he says, unclipping from his board. “All this time, and damn, it felt so right as I came down.”

  I smile a genuine grin, even knowing I gave my biggest competitor an edge over me.

  “Do it again, I bet after a few more times, you nail it.”

  He nods his head, looking over my shoulder. “Why?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “I don’t want to stand on that platform claiming gold unless I earn it.”

  “What they say about you is wrong,” he points out, a
laugh already floating out of his throat.

  “Do I want to know what they say?” I ask.

  “Probably not, but you’re not the selfish prick they say you are.”

  I laugh, nodding my head in agreement. “Don’t tell anyone.”

  Matt disappears up the hill to come back down.

  “No, but you are a fucking idiot.”

  I look behind me to find Brandon, Dax, and Beckett all standing there in their suits and dress shoes.

  “What are you thinking?” Dax shakes his head, his jaw cocked to the side. “You just served yourself second place.”

  I shrug. “Then that’s where I deserve to be.”

  Brandon stays quiet, a smile playing at his lips.

  I leave the pipe, rounding the edge to meet up with them.

  “I’m proud of you, man.” Beckett slaps me on the back.

  “I’m not. This isn’t how we roll. You don’t help your competition,” Dax chimes in and my eyes meet Brandon’s gaze.

  “Yes, they do. We’re here to help one another. If you can’t beat them then they’re better, plain and simple,” I say.

  “You’ve lost your mind. First you throw away Mia and now you help Matt Peterson score gold.” Dax throws up his arms. “I need a drink.”

  “Me too,” Brandon says, nodding in the direction of the bar.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I unclip from the board, holding it under my arm as we head to a bar that’s across the street from the village. Once we sit down, I rest my board against the wall behind us because I’m not leaving it outside to be stolen. I rode the best one I have tonight.

  “You’re being a douche,” Brandon says first, his arm already up and ready for the waitress.

  I lay my head in my hands. “I’m not winning first if I don’t fucking deserve it. I’m done with that shit.”

  Dax laughs and Beckett slaps me on the back, leaning in closer. “I think he’s talking about Mia.”

  A piece of popcorn hits my forehead and I pick up my head.

  “You like her?” Brandon asks me point blank. “I mean, I got the feeling you did on the train, but then things get a little hard and you walk? Again?”

  “Bonehead,” Dax chimes in.

  “Says the asshole who blew his best chance for a good woman at the last Winter Classics,” Beckett says.

  Dax mocks offense, looking around like I have to be talking about someone else.

  Brandon and Beckett exchange a look and Beckett stands. “Let’s go, big mouth.” He plucks Dax up by the sleeve of his jacket. “This is between them.”

  Dax’s gaze shifts between me, Brandon and Beckett. “I rarely get to razz Grady for being an asshole, come on.”

  “Next time,” Beckett says and then turns to us. “We’ll be at the bar.”

  “Thanks,” Brandon says.

  I watch their backs until they each sit on stools, Dax still going on about something while Beckett rolls his eyes and orders their drinks.

  “I thought you’d be done with running.” Brandon leans back, bringing the water to his lips.

  I run my hand through my hair. What does he want from me?

  “You were right, man, she deserves better than me.”

  He laughs. “True. I’m her brother. To me, she deserves the perfect male, which you are definitely not. But, there’s a problem with that.”

  “Yeah, what’s that?” I twist the cap to my bottle.

  “She wants you, or at least she did. I’m not sure now and the longer you leave her with my mom the chances you can get her back grow slimmer.”

  “She deserved to know the truth.”

  He nods. “Okay, you told her your version, but you know what I told her? What I told them all? I told them that I was an adult. I made the decision on my own to try that trick knowing I might get hurt. It wasn’t your fault. Do you think this whole time I didn’t know you felt guilty? But, I was feeling sorry for myself and I might’ve hated you a little because you ended up getting everything I wanted.”

  “I never meant to fall for her.” I sip my water. “I wanted to come visit, but I stole your future. I figured you hated me.”

  He laughs, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m not going to lie and say it’s been an easy road. I was pissed seeing you at the Winter Classics, continuing on without a concern about me. It hurt.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He nods. “I know. I accepted your unspoken apology the moment you hung yourself out to dry tonight. I figured your guilt must be pretty deep inside you to do that.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “You just destroyed your own life. You self-destructed.”

  “Your family hates me with good reason.”

  He waves me off. “I told them that regardless of what they heard, I made that choice and I threw just as many tricks that I didn’t think you could land your way that night. We were always too competitive with each other, but I like to think the industry and press did that to us. Always pinning us against one another at the competitions. The running tally of who won what. It was a bomb and that night, it all just blew up.”

  “Brandon,” I sigh. “Still, if I hadn’t pushed you so hard or made it impossible for you to back down without losing face—”

  “Jesus. Fucking stop.” His two hands land on the table. “You can’t change it. You can’t take back that night. You take back the last four years. You’ve apologized, I’ve accepted. Life is way too short for this shit. If you don’t promise to forget all of it, then I’m going to walk out those doors and not help you get my sister back.”

  I smile, remembering how fierce Brandon was when he wanted something done.

  “Maybe I need to let her be.”

  “And make my life a living hell? Fuck you, dude.”

  I laugh and Brandon waves his hand over to the guys to join us again.

  “Hey, man, before they come.” I eye the two of them weaving through the crowd. “I am sorry, for everything.” I try to convey my sincerity with as much conviction as possible in the hopes that he’ll know I truly do hold it as my biggest regret.

  “I know.”

  Beckett and Dax sit down. “So, now you want us back? Jeez, don’t I feel small.”

  “The rumors are correct then?” Brandon asks.

  Dax glares up at him.

  “Your dick size. Small?”

  Dax takes the popcorn bowl and dumps it over Brandon’s head. “Fuck off, Salty.”

  As Brandon gets all the popcorn out of his hair, I think he likes the fact he’s back to being with us, as annoying as Dax can be.

  “What’s the plan?” Dax slams his hand on the table.

  “He has to grovel,” Beckett says.

  “Beg and plead for forgiveness,” Brandon adds his two cents and it feels good having him here.

  “He has to prove he will not run again?” Dax asks, the question clear in his eyes. “No more of this ‘I don’t think I’m good enough for you. We’re just having fun.’ Jerk off or stop fisting your cock, man.”

  All three of us stare at him like something intelligent just came out of his mouth.

  He rolls his eyes. “You know, shit or get off the pot.”

  “Oh,” we all say in unison.

  “Clever, Soups.” Brandon nods at him.

  “Thank you.” He swings his arm around Brandon’s shoulders. “Salty gets me...you assholes.” He shakes his head.

  “Back to the problem at hand,” Beckett disregards Dax. “You better figure out, and pray to God she hasn’t found some accountant to marry.”

  I narrow my eyes at him. “I don’t need any advice from you assholes, I got this one covered.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The train is loud, everyone talking to someone and the sound echoing around the small space.

  Demi gets up from playing bodyguard to Mia. My time has finally arrived.

  I get up and slide down next to her. She stands up, but I put my foot on the seat in front of me t
o hold her in place.

  We have about a half hour before we get to Seoul to do a piece with the press where our team will be trying the local food and shopping.

  She plops back down, picking up a magazine, pretending to read it.

  “I’m an idiot,” I start.

  “So I’ve heard.” Another flip of the page.

  “I’m falling for the most challenging woman ever.” She slowly glances over, just her eyes, not turning her head. She flips another page and unless she’s some champion speed-reader, she’s still very focused on my words.

  “Well, I don’t think she’s too keen on you anyway,” she snips.

  “I don’t think that’s true.”

  “Oh, it is.” Her voice holds more conviction than I would have hoped.

  “Do you think if I grovel it would make a difference?”

  She crinkles the magazine in her hands. “No.”

  “Beg...pleaded. Because I know we’re meant to be.”

  She closes the magazine and tosses it on the seat next to her.

  “No. You left her.”

  “And I’m really sorry.”

  She shrugs. “How does she know you won’t do it again?”

  “She doesn’t, but I think I’m a good bet.”

  She huffs. “She already bet on you.”

  “I know. Oh, wait.” I pretend to get an idea. “Hold on one second.”

  Demi returns from the bathroom. “Get out, Grady,” she says with authority.

  “Demi baby, come sit with me.” Dax appears, swinging his arm around her shoulders and detouring her toward his seat.

  “You’re kidding, right?” She glares at him but doesn’t circle out of his hold like she could if she really wanted to.

  Maybe I was wrong about those two.

  Demi peers over the back of the train seat. “If I punish myself by sitting next to this asshole, you better take this one back.” She thumbs my way and I smile, holding my hands out in a ‘see, even your friends are on my side.’

  Mia shakes her head.

  “You want it all, right?” I ask.

  She turns her head finally and stares blankly back at me.