“I’m assuming there’s a bathroom here?” He points towards the old farmhouse on the other side of the tent. I pick Lina up and carry her away from him as fast as I possibly can.
When I open the door we enter into a large kitchen, where there are people cleaning dishes from the party. They stop and look at us when we enter the room.
“We are just looking for the bathroom. Could anyone point us in the right direction?”
There is an older woman by the sink. “It’s right over here, ma’am.” Lina and I follow her to a small hallway with old hardwood floors and milky white walls; she opens a door with an old crystal door handle, behind it there is a simple but clean bathroom.
“Thank you,” I tell her smiling. She looks at me as though she is pondering a thought.
“We hope you were pleased with the party.” She tells me.
I remember what Adam told me; after I went to see Ian, that the residents can’t be surprised, we have to prepare them, calm them. But this woman is different, she doesn’t have the monotone voice, the glassy sheen over her eyes, she seems fully awake and alert. There are footsteps in the hall behind her. The woman turns abruptly to leave, not waiting for my response. And as she makes her way back to the kitchen, I see Adam pass her in the hall.
“Go potty Lina. I’ll wait out here for you.” I usher her into the bathroom, but I keep the door cracked a tiny bit so I can see what she’s doing.
Adam walks up to me without stopping. “You aren’t supposed to go anywhere without a Volker guard.” At first I think he’s joking with me but when I look into his eyes I see that he is completely serious.
“Even to the bathroom, Adam, that’s a little extreme.” If he is going to pester me I decide I’m going to make it worth his while. “What’s wrong with you? We haven’t seen you in weeks. You don’t even talk to me anymore.”
“Crane is running me ragged, Andie. I barely have time to sleep.” He rubs his face and runs his hand through his dark hair. “What happened to your lip?”
“What?”
“Your lip, a few weeks ago, it was split. What happened?”
I can’t bring myself to tell him that Crane slapped me across the face. As a Volker he would be responsible for doing something about it. I’m sure none of them want to hand down a punishment to Crane. And it’s been so long.
“I ran into a door.” As soon as it’s out of my mouth I know it’s a bad lie.
Adam eyes me suspiciously. “Has anyone ever told you that you are a particularly bad liar, Andie?” He walks closer, closing the space between us and reaches out, tucking a piece of loose hair behind my ear. The action sends a shiver down my spine. It’s the first time he has been close enough to touch me, the first time he has been within five feet of me in months. I remember the way he pulled me to him when we were in the basement, when I showed him the tunnel. I want him to do it again, here, now.
I don’t like to lie, I don’t want to lie. “Crane did it.” I blurt it out.
“What do you mean Crane did it?” he asks quietly.
“He split my lip. He slapped me.” Adam eyes me, using whatever technique it is to tell if I’m lying to him.
“How could he slap you?”
“It happened in the lab one day. He stopped by to check on my work. And… and…” I don’t want to tell him about the genetic pairing, that Crane wants me paired with him. I do my best to keep a straight face, to make it look like I’m telling the truth. “I told him something he didn’t want to hear. And he slapped me across the face. There, are you happy I told you?” It was a bit easier, because I only told a half truth. But I don’t think Adam is happy at all. He looks pissed, worse than when I ran home to see Ian months ago.
“How, wasn’t there a Volker with him? We are sworn to protect you. That shouldn’t have happened.”
I shake my head. “No, he came into the lab alone, I was in there alone. No one else was there to see it.”
He’s clenching his jaw and his fists and I am afraid that I have angered him, much worse than ever before. The toilet flushes and Lina comes out of the bathroom. Adam doesn’t say another word he just escorts us out of the farmhouse.
The party is over and we pack up for the day. We are driven back to the loft. Lina falls asleep on my lap during the ride. I hold her, barely able to believe that she is already six and this is the only birthday her father has ever missed. I hope that in her excitement over the party she didn’t have time to realize this, also.
I carry her up to the loft. When the elevator doors open I can see something in the living room, through the glass doors. Stevie is waiting by the door, pacing, and there’s a pile of something brightly colored on the floor. I hesitate before walking into the loft, as I get closer I see it’s a pile of brightly wrapped presents in the pinks and purples of her party.
Lina wakes up as I set her on the couch noticing the pile of presents. “Mommy, are those for me?”
“I think so birthday girl.” I can only assume that they are from Crane. Lina opens all the gifts excitedly. There are toys, coloring books, books for her to read, piles of clothes in three sizes, enough to last her a whole year. There’s a mirror and brush set, a heavy winter coat, a snowsuit, fancy dresses and shoes. At the very bottom there is a perfectly square box with a large pink bow. Lina sits next to me as she opens it, slowly. Under the wrapping paper is a heavy wooden box with a gold clasp on the front. The box is carved with swirls and stars and stained a dark cherry color. At first I think the box is a gift but then Lina opens the clasp and lifts the lid.
“Wow!” I stare in disbelief at what’s inside the box. Sitting on a pillow of pink satin is a sparkling tiara. The tiara is heavy and there are diamonds, rubies and some light pink colored gemstone that I can’t identify, all set in the thick gold. I start to wonder if it could even be real. I pick it up and feel its weight. I place the tiara on her head. It fits perfectly and she looks like a real princess. I hand her the mirror that she unwrapped a few moments ago and watch as she admires herself.
“You look just like a princess, Catalina.” I kiss her cheek, and then get up to clean up the boxes and paper. Lina helps take all the new toys to her room, wearing her new tiara and doing her best to impersonate a princess. When the living room is all cleaned up, and all the new clothes are hung in her closet we get ready for bed. Lina selects a new book from her gifts and reads it to me. Then I pull the sheets up to tuck her in.
“Can I sleep in my crown?” She asks, her eyes heavy with exhaustion.
“Here, let’s set it on your night stand for the morning, we don’t want to break it.”
“Mommy, I miss Daddy…” she starts to tell me, her voice low and sad.
“I know, sweetie. I miss Daddy too.” Tears start to well up behind my eyes.
“I miss Uncle Sam too. They weren’t at my party, Mom. They never miss my birthday.”
I can’t stop the tears, “I’m so sorry, Lina. They didn’t mean to miss your party.” I wipe at my face, trying not to upset her with my crying. But I never wanted this for her. I never wanted her to grow up without her father there every step of the way.
“I love you, Mommy.” She reaches up and touches my face.
“I love you too, my little Catalina.” I pull her covers up to her chin and sit on the floor next to Stevie, until I hear the steady, slow breaths, which could only mean she is fast asleep.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Days and weeks go by. Lina continues with her schooling. I continue my work. Now a Volker stands at the door to the lab. I still don’t see Adam. One night Lina asks if he can come over to make spaghetti but when the operator tries to get a hold of him there is no answer. Lina and I both go to bed disappointed that night. And all I can think is that I must have made him incredibly angry at Lina’s birthday party.
For the Thanksgiving holiday Crane sets up a feast at the high school. The District Sovereign are required to attend. Lina dresses in one of the fancy dresses she got for her birthday
and wears her tiara. We’re kept away from the Residents at a heavily guarded table. It makes me wonder what the point of getting us all together was. The Residents point and watch us, some wave and smile like they know who we are. But they have been instructed not to approach us.
Crane wears his usual satisfied, smug look during the entire dinner. Adam is seated at the other end of the long rectangular table, away from us. A few times when I look his way I catch him looking in our direction. We don’t get a chance to speak and he leaves before we do. As we are walking out the door I scan the room. I see a thin blonde haired man sitting at a table with three other women. It looks like it could be Ian. I want to watch and see, but I don’t want Lina to see him. I know that it will upset her beyond belief if she sees her father, because with the medication Crane has him on, he has no clue who she is. I usher her out of the dining hall and we go home.
That night Crane sends a Christmas tree and decorations. Lina is excited for Christmas and we sing carols as we decorate the tree, it gives us something to focus on. It takes my mind off the constant dwelling of how I’m going to get us out of here. This was always my favorite time of the year, but now, it brings me sadness. I have Lina but I still feel alone without Ian, and now without Adam. All I am left with is the nagging knowledge of Crane’s expectations.
December brings freezing winds and piles of snow. There’s almost five feet in the first week. Crane informs us that the crews have been working to keep the town cleared of snow and ice. A new faction has been designated to visit the Residents’ homes and ensure that they have heat and that their pipes haven’t frozen.
Since most of the town is Catholic, Crane decides to hold services at all of the local churches. He also throws a Christmas party for the Sovereign. We return to the high school dining hall. There’s a large Christmas tree and someone has dressed up like Santa Claus. When I bring Lina to meet him I notice he has pale blue eyes. Since Adam has been missing the whole day I can guess that it has to be him dressed up in the red suit and fake beard. He does a good job; all the children giggle with excitement and whisper in his ear what they want for Christmas. Once again Crane delivers gifts to the loft for Lina. She opens them excitedly. When she gets to the last box she brings it to me.
“Mom, this has your name on it.” She hands the gift to me. It’s small and neatly wrapped. The tag hanging off the side bears my name. I open it slowly. Trying to control the trembling of my fingers, I know if Crane sent me a gift then he is going to want something in return. I pray silently that it’s nothing extravagant or extreme, like Lina’s birthday tiara. But when I open the top of the similarly carved wooden box I’m disappointed to see an exquisite gold locket fitted with diamonds and emeralds.
“Mom, it’s beautiful,” Lina exclaims as she reaches out to touch it.
“Yes it is.” I watch her be mesmerized by the fancy jewelry. “Lina, I want to remind you that when we love someone, it matters more in how we treat them and what we say to them, love isn’t bought with fancy gifts.” I don’t want Crane’s technique of gift giving to turn her. Ian and I always provided her with what she needed, but we never spoiled her with frivolous gifts the way Crane is doing now.
“I know, Mommy. It’s like how I love you and you love me. And how Daddy loves us and we love him, even though he isn’t with us anymore.” I hug her tightly, afraid that she will see the tears in my eyes again, like on her birthday. She hugs me back and when I have control over my emotions I get up and bring the necklace to my bedroom. Hiding it in the back depths of the closet, where I don’t have to look at it.
--
January brings more snow. The Committee decides to send the Runner out again for more supplies, rations are getting low, and people are running out of food. I don’t tell anyone but I had been giving Lina half of my dinners every night because the grocery store was exceptionally low on many items. We decide on a listing of supplies. Crane thinks it’s a good idea for another team to go out and check the security of the stone wall and the electrified fence. I look to Adam who is seated across the table from me. His jaw is clenched tight, he knows as well as I do that this means he will spend a full week or more out in the freezing winter. Crane smiles proudly after he tells us that he has procured snowmobiles for the team and heavy winter gear. This information doesn’t help change the look on Adam’s face.
--
By mid-January the pairings are almost complete. I go to Kira’s computer and find the codes for the District Sovereign. I pull their genetic information and save it in a separate file. Alexander and Morris are too old to be paired, that only leaves Crane, Ms. Black, Adam, Remington and me, an uneven number, not enough women to make the pairing equal. I will be damned to pair myself with Crane and be responsible with pairing Adam with someone. I don’t care what Crane wants, if we are trusted to make decisions for the Residents then we are capable of choosing our own pairs and I would rather be thrown out into the wilderness than pair myself with him.
Once all the samples are loaded I compile the data in a spreadsheet, organizing by easily distinguishable characteristics. My fingers fly across the keyboard as I systematize the samples first by similar physical characteristics, facial features, nose shape and height. Then I am able organize them into families depending on how similar or dissimilar their physical characteristics are. From there I can assign groups that would allow the best genetic diversity, the least possibility of inbreeding, and pair them to other groups. When the samples are finally organized by families I pause, pushing my chair back from the desk so I can observe from a distance and think. It's when I stare at the large computer screen for a few minutes that I realize there are too many samples for the small town of Phoenix.
Our population never made it over ten thousand. But there are at least four times that many samples here. I stare at the groups until I can see their physical features in my head. Short fair skinned people with light hair and light eyes, typical North American Caucasian. Then there’s a dark skinned group with black fine hair and strong aquiline noses, Classic Native American. Next, a tanned skin group with large wide eyes and mouths, it could be Latino. There’s a grouping of black skinned people with curly hair and smooth skin, African heritage. Lastly, there are short yellow skinned people with almond shaped eyes and wispy black hair, Asian. These features may not be expressed strongly on all the people here but their genes don't lie. They carry the genetic framework from distinct cultures. The lab has a large map of the world on the wall, I stare at it for a long time. Based on the genetic traits these samples carry. These look like groupings of people from the South, the Midwest, the Northwest, each corner of the United States. Then I realize what I’m looking at, we are not the only District.
My head fills with hundreds of questions. Did they too have the fake earthquakes? Was there the guise of nuclear contamination? Do they have the stone wall and electric fence? The train? A Runner? The factions? The Sovereign? Who is running them?
And if there are other Districts is there another person doing what I’m doing right now? Because if there is, Lina and I are no longer safe, we are expendable.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Each month Crane sends Adam to check the integrity of the cement wall and the outer electrified fence. He monitors the Gateway, the most northern area of the electrified fence where the train exits and enters. Remington is sent out for more supplies. This time it takes him almost two weeks.
I keep my secret, my knowledge that there are more Districts, I send Crane watered-down updates of my work, telling him that I need more time, avoiding him.
Now that it is almost March, I’m afraid I can’t put him off much longer.
I sit in the empty lab, alone at my desk. I should be completed with the pairings by the end of the night. I decide to take a break and check on Lina in the atrium. Ms. Black has the children painting the glass walls of the building for an art appreciation class. They are anticipating spring and Lina, Cashel and Marcus have created a rich flowe
ring garden with the paint, almost covering the windows that span the front of the atrium. I watch Lina as she stands on a stool, painting a large sunflower on the glass. It’s moments like these that I wish I had a camera, so I can document what she’s doing, her projects and her growth, her childhood. Instead I watch her and I try to burn these images of her childhood into my brain.
I go upstairs to the loft and make myself a cup of coffee. Now that I’m so close to complete with this project I know I will be up late putting the final touches on the pairings and double-checking my work, preparing a report for Crane, trying to hide the fact that I know about the other Districts.
The Volker guard who waits outside of the lab follows me, waiting outside the glass doors to the loft. I make coffee for the both of us. When we get back to the atrium Ms. Black is ending class and the children are cleaning up from the long day of learning. I walk off to the lab and save my work, sending it to the laptop in the loft, which Crane has so graciously provided me with, enabling me to work at night while Lina sleeps.
We head upstairs to our usual nightly routine of taking Stevie out, cooking dinner and getting ready for bed. After Stevie has run a few laps through the snow banks, in the open area in front of our building, we head back upstairs, her long hair clumped with ice. We start on dinner and just as we sit down to eat the Volker guard from downstairs knocks on the door.
I ask him as I motion for him to come in. They don’t usually come up here at night. There was only one other time, when it was snowing so hard the day guards’ replacement couldn’t make it. The day guard stayed in the loft with us for dinner and slept in front of the door for the night.
“Sorry to disturb you but there is an emergency at the hospital,” the Volker tells me as he enters the loft.
The Phoenix Project Page 19