‘It is. Good morning, Doctors.’ She gives them her brightest smile. Unfortunately, Andy didn’t think to send her teeth with her, so the effect isn’t as good as usual.
‘So how are you feeling now? I gather from the staff that you had quite a bang on the head, and a bit of an issue with your heart.’
‘I feel absolutely fine now,’ May says, ‘and if I could go home, I’d feel even better.’
The doctor draws the curtains around the cubicle and his two colleagues gather round the bed. The following examination doesn’t bother May as far as being embarrassed goes but leaves her breathless. She does her best to conceal this, but it’s no good.
‘We’d like to keep you here at least another night, ideally. Because of your age, we want to be extra careful to be sure you’re fit. I hear you live alone, May?’
‘I do, but I’ve got very good neighbours. My … erm … bestie only lives across the road, and there are any amount of people on red alert for needy old people now Ida Carnell’s on the case. Please let me go back now, Doctor. I can’t stand another night awake. I need to be in my own bed to set me right. I’ll never get better if I can’t sleep.’
The three doctors step outside the curtained area and May can hear them conferring. She crosses her fingers and almost prays. Eventually, the senior one comes back in. ‘You win, May,’ he says with a grin, ‘but only if we can be sure there’s somebody to take care of you, and you must promise to take it easy.’
May beams all over her face, giving him the benefit of a fine set of gums. ‘Thank you,’ she says, from the bottom of her heart.
Andy collects her later that afternoon, still in his work clothes and with her teeth in a plastic bag. ‘I came as soon as I could,’ he says. ‘Emily’s picking Tam up from school for me and then they’re going to your house with some shopping. I’m making a shepherd’s pie later and I’ll bring yours round to you.’
His kindness almost finishes May off but she doesn’t want the nurses to see her cry. They might class it as a sign of weakness and keep her here. A porter arrives with a wheelchair, to her disgust, but May knows better than to argue and gets into it without a murmur. She waves gaily to the other five patients, but only Dorothy is well enough to wave back. Lightweights, May thinks to herself, and then feels bad for being so critical. Dorothy is lovely, and none of them has May’s gifts to keep them going. They’re bound to be creaking gates, aren’t they?
The outside world looks very bright as Andy drives her home, never exceeding forty miles an hour even on the straight bits of road. ‘You can go faster than this if you want to, love,’ she says. ‘I’m not a piece of china.’
‘And I’m not taking any chances with you,’ Andy says, winking at her. ‘Julia and Emily will be on my case in seconds if I don’t bring you back in one piece.’
‘Did you remember to feed Fossil?’
‘Yes, Tamsin would never let me forget something like that. She’s been nagging me about both cats non-stop. Stripey’s settled herself in the bottom of my wardrobe so it looks likely there’ll be a litter of kittens soon, and Fossil’s been eating for both of them. He eats his food and then comes round to mine to see if there are any leftovers.’
May relaxes into the passenger seat and looks out of the window as the familiar landmarks flash by. The sun is warming her face, the birds are singing lustily and she’s as happy as she can remember being for a long time. She’s aware that this is largely because during the long, wakeful hours of the night, she made a serious decision. She’s looked death in the face and hasn’t flinched. There’s no way of knowing what will happen to her if she lets go of the reins, but it’s nearly time to find out. She’s not going to tamper with other people’s memories for much longer.
Hurting Julia has gone on long enough. Her new friend really cares about the people around her and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. How many others has May unwittingly hurt in the past, she wonders? How many confused, worried villagers has she left in her wake as she selfishly syphoned off their precious memories?
The prospect of changing her way of life brings a wave of fear mingled with intense relief. May will leave the letters alone, particularly the poisonous ones, and never try to find any other sources. Never. This experience has left her bruised in more ways than one, right down to her bones, both mentally and physically, and hanging onto life regardless of the consequences suddenly doesn’t seem so necessary. Maybe the alternative wouldn’t be so bad after all? It’s almost time to let nature take its course. But not quite yet.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
That evening, May sits in her chair, knees covered with a patchwork rug and with her purring cat on her lap. She’s surrounded by Julia, Andy, Emily and Tamsin. They’ve switched on the fire and she’s eaten her dinner, or as much of it as she could manage.
Emily is shocked to see how changed May seems even in the short time she’s been away. Her hair is as tidy as usual, if a bit flat, and she’s wearing a clean dressing gown, but her face is drawn and looks more lined than usual.
‘Are you ready for bed?’ Emily asks, getting up to clear away the dinner pots. ‘You must be shattered.’
‘I am a bit tired, dear,’ May says. ‘It’s been an interesting experience, but not one I want to repeat.’
Tamsin leans over and gives her a hug. ‘We’ve got to go now, anyway,’ she says, ‘Stripey’s nearly ready to have her kittens, Daddy says.’
‘That’s very exciting.’
‘They’ll come out of her bottom.’
‘Yes, that’s the usual way.’ May shoots a glance at Andy but he’s completely absorbed in watching Emily loading the tray with dishes.
Tamsin starts to giggle. ‘It’s a very silly way. Bottoms are rude.’
‘Well, rude or not, sweetheart, Stripey doesn’t have a choice.’
‘She’ll be very surprised. I would be.’
‘So in that case you’d better be sure and not miss the great event. Emily will help me to bed, won’t you?’
‘I will, just as soon as I’ve washed up.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll do that,’ says Julia. ‘You two go on through.’
Emily regards her grandmother under her eyelids. Julia looks stronger today and she’s losing that bewildered look. ‘OK, thanks, Gran. The sooner May’s tucked in, the better she’ll be, I reckon. Those hospital beds are hard and there’s no peace. Thank goodness there are no stairs to negotiate here.’
When May’s been to the loo, put her teeth in a glass to soak and washed her face, Emily holds her elbow and guides her into the bedroom. She’s surprised to be allowed to do this. From what she’s seen of May up to now, she doesn’t appear to be the sort of person who takes kindly to being propped up.
As if reading her thoughts, May says, ‘Thank you for doing all this, dear. You can tell I need a bit more help than usual tonight, can’t you?’
‘I’m not surprised after what you’ve been through. I’d feel just the same.’
‘Ah now, but would you? I’ve got to begin to remember my age, for a change.’
‘But you’ll soon be back to normal. This is just a blip.’ May’s in bed now and Emily snuggles the duvet round her. ‘Lean forward and let me plump your pillows,’ she says.
May sighs happily. ‘It’s so nice to be fussed over,’ she says. ‘Oh, look, here’s Fossil. He likes to sleep on my feet. Emily, you are staying around for a while, aren’t you?’
‘I was just thinking Gran looks a bit better and might not need me for long, but yes, for a little while. Why?’
‘Oh, I just wondered. Have you ever thought of buying your own place here? As an investment, I mean?’
‘I can’t afford it, May. My apartment’s only tiny but it costs a fortune in rent and I’ve got no prospect of promotion for a year or two. It’s a lovely idea, though. Maybe one day.’
‘One day’s too far away. It’d be fun for you to have somewhere of your own now, wouldn’t it? You could always rent it o
ut until … well, for now.’ May strokes the cat and waits. The room is very quiet apart from Fossil’s loud purring.
Emily frowns. What’s all this about? Has Gran had a hand in it? ‘It’s just not possible, though. Colin’s agreed to me staying for an extra week on top of my holidays. After that I’ll need to go back to New York to talk to him if I want to make any permanent changes.’
‘I expect that’ll depend on a lot of things, won’t it?’
‘How do you mean?’
May looks at Emily with her head on one side. ‘Well, planning for the future isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. In my experience, life has a habit of getting in the way.’
‘Does it? I don’t see how. I’ll make my own decisions, Max or no Max.’
‘Maybe I wasn’t just thinking about him.’
‘But who else were you expecting me to consider?’
Emily waits, but May seems to have run out of steam. The shadows under her eyes are getting deeper and her face is the colour of paper. ‘We’ll talk about this when you feel stronger. Now, get a good night’s sleep and you’ll feel sparkling again in the morning.’
‘Will I?’ May’s almost asleep and Emily leans over to kiss her forehead, being careful to avoid the bruises.
‘Course you will. And you’ve got the phone by your bed so you can ring us in the night if you need to, but I think you’re going to sleep like a baby. I don’t know why they say that, because the people I know with babies say they don’t seem to sleep much.’
‘Babies. No, they don’t, do they? I think you’ll …’
May stops talking and bites her lip. Then she sits up, suddenly wide awake again. ‘Could you ask your gran to pop in here before she goes?’ she asks.
‘I will, but only for a couple of minutes. It’s time you were asleep.’
Julia comes in as soon as Emily tells her she’s needed. Emily hovers by the door, just out of sight, worried that May’s going to want a long chat, and poised to step in. Julia perches on the end of the bed and smiles at May. ‘Did you want me for something important?’ she says, moving May’s water glass a bit closer to the bed.
‘I just wanted to say thank you for ringing the hospital to see how I was, and for your nice message,’ May says. Emily can just see her through the open door. May’s cheeks are pink now and she’s not looking at Julia.
‘That’s not a problem,’ says Julia. She pats May’s hand through the duvet. ‘I realised as the ambulance pulled away that your little cottage was going to seem very empty without you in it. I always check to see if your lights are on and if you’ve drawn the curtains back as soon as I get out of bed. It’s not the same without you.’
‘I … I liked you sending your love,’ May says shyly, snuggling down into her pillows and closing her eyes again.
Julia stands up to leave and Emily comes back in.
‘I hope you’re better soon, dear May,’ Julia whispers, and heads for the kitchen, blinking hard.
Emily looks down and realises that May is already snoring gently. She straightens the covers and waits for a few moments to make sure May really is asleep. Her mouth drops open slightly and she lets out a ladylike snore. It seems very personal, watching someone when they don’t know you’re doing it, and Emily goes back to the kitchen before she can get any more worried about the frailty of this plucky old lady.
Julia is just finishing clearing up. Everything is gleaming and much tidier than usual. ‘How is she really, do you think?’
‘Just tired, I reckon, but it’s been a shock to her, all this.’
‘She’ll bounce back soon. Nothing gets May down.’
‘Hmm. I’m not so sure about that. May’s a very old lady. She’s not going to find it easy to get over a heart attack in a couple of days.’
They sit down either side of the electric fire, now safely turned off. The room is getting chilly. ‘May’s just been asking me why I don’t buy a house in the village,’ Emily says, watching her gran’s face for any reaction.
‘Really? Why would you want to do that?’
‘I don’t know. I thought you might have an idea why she said it?’
The look on Julia’s face appears to be genuine astonishment. ‘No, not at all. Buy a house in Pengelly and then never see it? That’d be silly.’
‘Hmm. Oh, well, who knows why May had the idea then? It’s a mystery.’
‘You don’t need the responsibility of a house when you’ve got a perfectly good room in my place.’
Emily leans over to squeeze Julia’s hand and nods, fighting a sudden rush of nostalgia. If only her grandpa was still here. She misses him so much. Their home has been her sanctuary for years and the two of them her security when her parents were at constant war with each other. Somehow May has planted a thought in Emily’s head that won’t go away. What would a cosy nest of her own look like? Is there such a house here just waiting for her?
Julia’s obviously been thinking along the same lines. ‘Ignore May, darling,’ she says, getting to her feet creakily. ‘She’s probably still a bit delirious.’
‘Let’s go home then. I’m shattered, and so must you be.’
There’ll be time to dig a bit deeper in the morning. For now, Emily’s own elderly lady needs to be tucked up in her bed. Emily feels the weight of worry and responsibility for these two very different but equally brave characters lying heavy on her shoulders but she still can’t suppress the bubble of happiness that takes her by surprise. Being with Tamsin earlier was fun. The little girl had soon begun to chatter, overcoming her shyness in next to no time. It’s Saturday tomorrow, and Emily’s offered to look after her while Andy’s at work. They’re planning to build a den in Julia’s garden and eat their lunch in it, after they’ve been for a paddle and maybe to see Tristram for coffee.
Emily pulls May’s back door shut behind her and offers Julia an arm to go across the road. She glances back at Andy’s house and sees a shadowy shape at an upstairs window. Has he been watching out for them? Suddenly, she hopes so. Wouldn’t it be great to have someone who cares enough to see if you’re safely home?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Julia listens to Emily padding around her bedroom getting dressed ready for her childminding duties and sighs with happiness. It’s the farmers’ market today and it’ll be lovely to have Tamsin with them when she and Emily go up to the village.
She always adored the times she spent with Emily as a little girl and later when she was a somewhat edgy teen. As a mum, she’d found Felix hard work a lot of the time. He was prickly and prone to sulks. But even when Emily had been going through her moody phase at around fourteen, dressing all in black and painting streaks in her hair, she’d still been fun to be with most of the time. If she’d felt cross, she’d taken herself off to the beach to burn off her grumpiness.
‘Is Tamsin coming over for breakfast, Em?’ Julia shouts. ‘Because if she is, I’d better get a move on.’
‘No, we’ve got a little while yet,’ Emily answers, sticking her head round Julia’s door. ‘Andy’s bringing her when she’s eaten. He says we won’t have the right sort of disgustingly chocolatey cereal that she likes. I’m surprised he gives her stuff like that when he’s so anxious about her health.’
Julia smiles. ‘Oh, when you’re a parent, you’ll do anything to start the day off without tantrums,’ she says.
‘What are you saying, Gran? I can’t remember kicking up a fuss about my breakfast.’
‘No, but your dad did. He would only eat white toast with shop-bought strawberry jam. And me with a cupboard full of home-made preserves and your grandpa’s wonderful wholemeal bread fresh out of the oven. Very irritating.’
Julia lets Emily help her out of bed. She doesn’t really need her to do this, but it feels nice and she wants to promote the poor little old lady image as long as possible. All that talk of Emily buying a house, even though it’s impossible, has made Julia long even more to have her granddaughter here permanently. It would be bliss
. But Emily’s career can’t be ignored for much longer – she knows that – and she doesn’t want to hold the girl back.
‘Right, if you’re ready to get organised up here, I’ll go and make my preparations for the day,’ says Emily, eyes sparkling.
‘What do you need to do?’
‘I want to find some clothes pegs, lots of old blankets or dust sheets, the two clothes horses from the outhouse and a couple of rugs.’
‘You used to love den-making.’
‘I’ve got a feeling I still do. There isn’t much cause for rigging up a shelter inside a city apartment. This is going to be great. What time do you want to go to the market?’
‘Oh, around eleven, do you think? We can get some lovely cheese and so on for lunch, and there’s going to be one of those artisan bread stalls. I might even buy a cake for a change. Tamsin can choose.’
‘That sounds great. I’m glad I’m here to see it.’
‘Yes, village life’s got its good points,’ says Julia, hoping there are enough stalls there today to impress her granddaughter. This is just the kind of village PR that’s needed to attract Emily for good.
Tamsin bursts into the kitchen half an hour later, just as Emily and Julia are clearing away the remains of their breakfast. ‘Hooray!’ she shouts. ‘I’m here. Daddy wouldn’t let me come any sooner. There’s nothing come out of Stripey’s bottom yet,’ she adds, ‘well, only a great big—’
‘That’s enough of that, thanks, Tam,’ says Andy, following his daughter in. ‘She wanted to come across to you at six o’clock, but I guessed that might be a tad early?’
Emily pulls a face. ‘Well, maybe just a bit. I went over to see May at half-six, though. She’s always awake by then.’
‘We called on our way here. She’s had her mountain of toast already. She was really sensible and took it back to bed with her. I’ll go again after I pick the offspring up later.’
‘And I can call mid-morning before we go up the hill,’ Julia adds. ‘Between us we can keep an eye on her. She’s tough, is May. You’ll be surprised.’
59 Memory Lane Page 17