CHAPTER XVI.
"Who be these, sir?" "Fellows to mount a bank. Did your instructer In the dear tongues never discourse to you Of the Italian mountebanks?" "Yes, sir." "Why here you shall see one." "They are quacksalvers, Fellows that live by venting oils and drugs."
VOLPONE.
The council had been summoned to meet on the morning following that ofthe incidents related in the last chapter, and the members were nowaccordingly assembling, soon after breakfast, at the Proprietarymansion. The arrival of one or two gentlemen on horseback with theirservants, added somewhat to the bustle of the stable yard, which wasalready the scene of that kind of busy idleness and lounging occupationso agreeable to the menials of a large establishment. Here, in onequarter, a few noisy grooms were collected around the watering troughs,administering the discipline of the curry-comb or the wash bucket tosome half score of horses. In a corner of the yard Dick Pagan thecourier and Willy o' the Flats, with the zeal of amateur vagrants, werestriving to cozen each other out of their coppers at the old game ofCross and Pile; whilst, in an opposite direction, Derrick wasexhibiting to a group of spectators, amongst whom the young heirapparent was a prominent personage, a new set of hawk bells justbrought by the Olive Branch from Dort, and lecturing, with a learnedgravity, upon their qualities, to the infinite edification and delightof his youthful pupil. Slouching fox hounds, thick-lipped mastiffs andwire-haired terriers mingled indiscriminately amongst these groups, asif confident of that favouritism which is the universal privilege ofthe canine race amongst good tempered persons and contented idlers allthe world over. Whilst the inhabitants of the yard were engrossed withthese occupations, a trumpet was heard at a distance in the directionof the town. The blast came so feebly upon the ear as, at first, topass unregarded, but being repeated at short intervals, and at everyrepetition growing louder, it soon arrested the general attention, andcaused an inquiry from all quarters into the meaning of so unusual anincident.
"Fore God, I think that there be an alarm of Indians in the town!"exclaimed the falconer as he spread his hand behind his ear andlistened for some moments, with a solemn and portentous visage. "Lookto it, lads--there may be harm afoot. Put up thy halfpence, Dick Pagan,and run forward to seek out the cause of this trumpeting. I will wagerit means mischief, masters."
"Indians!" said Willy; "Derrick's five wits have gone on a fool'serrand ever since the murder of that family at the Zachaiah fort by thesalvages. If the Indians were coming you should hear three guns fromMaster Randolph Brandt's look-out on the Notley road. It is more likelythere may be trouble at the gaol with the townspeople, for there was awhisper afloat yesterday concerning a rescue of the prisoners. Troth,the fellow has a lusty breath who blows that trumpet!"
"Ay, and the trumpet," said Derrick, "is not made to dance with,masters: there is war and throat-cutting in it, or I am no true man."
During this short exchange of conjectures, Dick Pagan had hastened tothe gate which opened towards the town, and mounting the post, for thesake of a more extensive view, soon discerned the object of alarm,when, turning towards his companions, he shouted,
"Wounds,--but here's a sight! Pike and musket, belt and saddle, boys!To it quickly;--you shall have rare work anon. Wake up the ban dogs ofthe fort and get into your harness. Here comes the Dutch Doctor withhis trumpeter as fierce as the Dragon of Wantley. Buckle to and standyour ground!"
"Ho, ho!" roared the fiddler with an impudent, swaggering laugh."Here's a pretty upshot to your valours! Much cry and little wool, likethe Devil's hog-shearing at Christmas. You dullards, couldn't I havetold you it was the Dutch Doctor,--if your fright had left you but ahandful of sense to ask a question? Didn't I see both him and histrumpeter last night at the Crow and Archer, with all their jin-gumbobsin a pair of panniers? Oh, but he is a rare Doctor, and makes suchcures, I warrant you, as have never been seen, known or heard of sincethe days of St. Byno, who built up his own serving man again, sound asa pipkin, after the wild beasts had him for supper."
The trumpet now sent forth a blast which terminated in a long flourish,indicating the approach of the party to the verge within which it mightnot be allowable to continue such a clamour; and in a few momentsafterwards the Doctor with his attendant entered the stable yard. Hewas a little, sharp-featured, portly man, of a brown, dry complexion,in white periwig, cream-coloured coat, and scarlet small clothes: of abrisk gait, and consequential air, which was heightened by the pompousgesture with which he swayed a gold-mounted cane full as tall ashimself. His attendant, a bluff, burly, red-eyed man, with a singularlystolid countenance, tricked out in a grotesque costume, of which ashort cloak, steeple-crowned hat and feather, and enormous nethergarments, all of striking colours, were the most notable components,bore a brass trumpet suspended on one side, and a box of noinconsiderable dimensions in front of his person; and thus furnished,followed close at the heels of the important individual whose cominghad been so authentically announced.
No sooner had the Doctor got fairly within the gate than he was met byDerrick Brown, who, being the most authoritative personage in the yard,took upon himself the office of giving the stranger welcome.
"Frents, how do you do?" was the Doctor's accost in a strong, Low Dutchmethod of pronouncing English. "I pelieve dis is not de gate I shouldhave entered to see his Lordship de Lord Proprietary," he added,looking about him with some surprise to find where he was.
"If it was my Lord you came to see," said the falconer, "you shouldhave turned to your right, and gone by the road which leads to thefront of the house. But the way you have come is no whit the longer: wecan take you through, Master Doctor, by the back door."
"Vell, vell, dere is noding lost by peing acquainted at once wid depeople of de house," replied the man of medicine; "dere is luck to makeyour first entrance by de pack door, as de old saying is. I vassummoned dis morning to appear before de council, py my Lord's order;and so, I thought I might trive a little pusiness, at de same time, widde family."
"I told you all," said Willy, with an air of self-importance at his ownpenetration, "that this was a rare doctor. The council hath sent forhim! my Lord hath made it a state matter to see him. It isn't everydoctor that comes before the worshipful council, I trow. Give himwelcome, boys, doff your beavers."
At this command several of the domestics touched their hats, with agesture partly in earnest and partly in sport, as if expecting somediversion to follow.
"No capping to me, my frents!" exclaimed the Doctor, with a bow,greatly pleased at these tokens of respect; "no capping to me! Pusinessis pusiness, and ven I come to sell you tings dat shall do you goot, Itank you for your custom and your money, widout asking you to touchyour cap."
"There is sense in that," said John Alward; "and since you come totrade in the yard, Doctor, you can show us your wares. There is a pennyto be picked up here."
"Open your box, Doctor; bring out your pennyworths; show us theinside!" demanded several voices at once.
"Ha, ha!" exclaimed the vender of drugs, "you are wise, goot frents;you know somewhat! You would have a peep at my aurum potabiles in datlittle casket--my multum in parvo? Yes, you shall see, and you shallhear what you have never seen pefore, and shall not in your long livesagain."
"Have you e'er a good cleansing purge for a moulting hawk?" inquiredDerrick Brown, whilst the doctor was unlocking the box.
"Or a nostrum that shall be sure work on a horse with a farcy?" askedone of the grooms.
"Hast thou an elixir that shall expel a lumbago?" demanded John Alward:all three speaking at the same instant.
"Tib, the cook," said a fourth, "has been so sore beset with cramps,that only this morning she was saying, in her heart she believed shewould not stop to give the paste buckle that Tom Oxcart gave her for atoken at Whitsuntide, for a cordial that would touch a cold stomach. Iwill persuade her into a trade with the Doctor."
"Oh, as for the women," replied a fifth, "there isn't a wench in myLord's service that hasn
't a bad tooth, or a cold stomach, or atingling in the ears, or some such ailing: it is their nature--theywould swallow the Doctor's pack in a week, if they had license."
The man of nostrums was too much employed in opening out hiscommodities to heed the volley of questions which were poured upon himall round, but having now put himself in position for action, headdressed himself to his auditors:
"I vill answer all your questions in goot time; but I must crave yourleave, frents, to pegin in de order of my pusiness. Dobel," he said,turning to his attendant, who stood some paces in the rear, "comeforward and pegin."
The adjutant at this command stepped into the middle of the ring, andafter making several strange grimaces, of which at first view hiscountenance would have been deemed altogether incapable, and bowing inthree distinct quarters to the company, commenced the following speech:
"Goot beoplish!"--this was accompanied with a comic leer that set thewhole yard in a roar--"dish ish de drice renowned und ingomprbl DoctorClosh Tebor"--another grimace, and another volley of laughter--"whatish de grand pheseeshan of de greate gofernor of New York, AntonyProckolls, und lives in Alpany in de gofernor's own pallash, wid dootousand guilders allowed him py de gofernor everich yeere, und a goachto rite, und a pody-cart to go pefore him in de sthreets ven he valksto take de air. All tish to keepe de gofernor und his vrouw de LatyKaterina Prockholls in goot healf--noding else--on mein onor." This wassaid with great emphasis, the speaker laying his hand on his heart andmaking a bow, accompanied with a still more ludicrous grimace than anyhe had yet exhibited, which brought forth a still louder peal from hisauditory.
He was about to proceed with his commendatory harangue, when he wasinterrupted by Benedict Leonard. It seems that upon the firstannouncement by the Doctor of the purport of his visit, the youth,fearful lest his mother, who was constitutionally subject to alarm,might have been disturbed by the trumpet, ran off to apprise her ofwhat he had just witnessed; and giving her the full advantage ofWilly's exaggerated estimate of the travelling healer of disease,returned, by the lady's command, to conduct this worthy into herpresence. He accordingly now delivered his message, and forthwithmaster and man moved towards the mansion, with the whole troop of thestable yard at their heels.
The itinerant was introduced into Lady Baltimore's presence in a smallparlour, where she was attended by two little girls, her only childrenbeside the boy we have noticed, and the sister of the Proprietary. Herpale and emaciated frame and care-worn visage disclosed to thepractised glance of the visiter a facile subject for his delusiveart,--a ready votary of that credulous experimentalism which has filledthe world with victims to medical imposture. In the professor ofmedicine's reverence to the persons before him there was anoverstrained obsequiousness, but, at the same time, an expression ofimperturbable confidence fully according with the ostentatiouspretension which marked his demeanour amongst the menials of thehousehold. Notwithstanding his broad accent, he spoke with a readyfluency that showed him well skilled in that voluble art by which, atthat day, the workers of wonderful cures and the possessors ofinfallible elixirs advertised the astonishing virtues of theircompounds--an art which has in our time only changed its manner ofutterance, and now announces its ridiculous pretensions in everynewspaper of every part of our land, in whole columns of mountebanklies and quack puffery.
"This is the great Doctor," said Benedict Leonard, who now acted asgentleman usher, "and he has come I can't tell how far, to see who wasailing in our parts. I just whispered to him, dear mother, what afamous good friend you were to all sorts of new cures. And oh, it woulddo you good to see what a box of crankums he has in the hall! Yes, anda man to carry it, with a trumpet! Blowing and physicking a plenty now,to them that like it! How the man bears such a load, I can't guess."
"Dobel has a strong back and a steady mule for his occasions, my prettypoy," said the Doctor, patting the heir apparent on the head, with afondness of manner that sensibly flattered the mother. "When we woulddo goot, master, we must not heed de trouble to seek dem dat stand inneed of our ministrations over de world."
The lady's feeble countenance lit up with a sickly smile as sheremonstrated with the boy. "Bridle thy tongue, Benedict, nor suffer itto run so nimbly. We have heard, Doctor, something of your fame, andgladly give you welcome."
"Noble lady," replied the pharmacopolist, "I am but a simple and poorDoctor, wid such little fame as it has pleased Got to pestow for mineenteavours to miticate de distemperatures and maladies and infirmitieswhich de fall of man, in de days of Adam, de august progenitor of dehuman races, has prought upon all his children. And de great happinessI have had to make many most wonderful cures in de provinces ofAmerica, made me more pold to hope I might pring some assuagement andrelief to your ladyship, who, I have peen told, has peen grievouslytormented wid perturbations and melancholics; a very common affectionwid honourable ladies."
"Alack, Doctor, my affections come from causes which are beyond thereach of your art," said the lady with a sigh. "Still, it would pleaseme to hear the cures you speak of. You have, doubtless, had greatexperience?"
"You shall hear, my lady. I am not one of dat rabble of pretenders whattravel apout de world to cry up and magnify dere own praises. De Hemelis mij getuige,--Heaven is my chudge, and your ladyship's far renownedexcellent wisdom forbids dat you should be imposed upon by dese cheatsand impostors denominated--and most justly, on my wort!--charlatans andempirical scaramouches. De veritable merit in dis world is humble, mylady. I creep rader in de dust, dan soar in de clouts:--it is in mynature. Oders shall speak for me--not myself."
"But you have seen the world, Doctor, and studied, and served in goodfamilies?"
"Your ladyship has great penetration. I have always lived in friendshipwid worshipful peoples. De honourable Captain General AnthonyBrockholls, de governor of de great province of New York,--hah! derewas nopody could please him but Doctor Debor. Night and day, my lady,for two years, have I peen physicking his excellency and all hisfamily:--de governor is subject to de malady of a pad digestion andcrudities which gives him troublesome dreams. I have studied in deschool of Leyden--dree courses, until I could find no more to learn;and den I have travelled in France, Germany, and Italy, where I took aseat in de great University of Padua, for de penefit of de lectures ofdat very famous doctor, Veslingius, de prefect, your ladyship shallunderstand, and professor of botany, a most rare herbalist. And derealso I much increased and enriched my learning under de wing of datastonishing man, de grave and profound Doctor Athelsteinus Leonenas, deexpounder of de great secrets of de veins and nerves. You shall chudge,honourable ladies, what was my merit, when I tell you de Universitywould make me Syndicus Artistarum, only dat I refused so great honour,pecause I would not make de envy of my compeers. Did I not say truewhen I tell you it is not my nature to soar in de clouts?"
"Truly the Doctor hath greatly slighted his fame," said the Lady Mariaapart to her kinswoman. "I would fain know what you have in your pack."
"Worshipful madam, you shall soon see," replied the Doctor, who nowordered Dobel, his man, into the room. "Here," he said, as he pointedto the different parcels, "are balsamums, panaceas, and elixirs. Dis isa most noted alexipharmacum against quartan agues, composed of manyroots, herps and spices; dis I call de lampas vitae, an astonishingexhilirator and promoter of de goot humours of de mind, and mostvaluable for de rare gift of clear sight to de old, wid many odervirtues I will not stop to mention. Dese are confections, electuaries,sirups, conserves, ointments, odoraments, cerates, and gargarisms, forde skin, for de stomach, for de pruises and wounds, for de troat, andevery ting pesides. Ah! here, my lady, is de great lapour of my life,de felicity and royal reward--as I may say--of all my studies: it is demost renowned and admired and never-to-be-estimated MedicamentumPromethei, which has done more penefactions dan all de oder simples andcompounds in de whole pharmacopeia of medicine. Your ladyship shalltake but one half of dis little phial, when you will say more for itspraise dan I could speak widout peing accounted a most windy,hy
perbolical and monstrous poaster--ha, waarachtig! I will speaknoting. Dat wise and sagacious and sapient man, de great governor andcaptain, Antony Brockholls, has given me in my hand so much as fiveducatoons,--yes, my lady, five ducatoons for dat little glass, twohours after a dinner of cold endives--Ik spreek a waarachtiglik--Ispeak you truly, my lady: and now I give it away for de goot of deworld and mine own glory, at no more dan one rix dollar,--fiveshillings. I do not soar in de clouts?"
"Can you describe its virtues, Doctor?" inquired the lady.
"Mine honoured madam, dey are apundant, and I shall not lie if I saycountless and widout number. First, it is a great enemy to plackcholer, and to all de affections of de spleen, giving sweet sleep to deeyelids dat have peen kept open py de cares and sufferings andanxieties of de world. It will dispel de charms of witchcraft, magicand sorcery, and turn away de stroke of de evil eye. It corroborates destomach py driving off de sour humours of de pylorus, and cleansing dediaphram from de oppilations which fill up and torpefy de pipes of denerves. And your ladyship shall observe dat, as nature has supplied andadapted particular plants and herps to de maladies of de several partsof de animal pody, as,--not to be tedious,--aniseeds and calamint forde head, hysop and liquorice for de lungs, borage for de heart, betonyfor de spleen, and so on wid de whole pody--dis wonderful medicamentcontains and possesses in itself someting of all, being de greatremedy, antidote and expeller of all diseases, such as vertigine,falling sickness, cramps, catalepsies, lumbagos, rheums, inspissations,agitations, hypocondrics, and tremorcordies, whedder dey come of dehead, de heart, de liver, de vena cava, de mesentery or de pericardium,making no difference if dey be hot or cold, dry or moist, or proceedingfrom terrestrial or genethliacal influences, evil genitures, or viciousaspects of de stars--it is no matter--dey all vanish pefore de greatmedicamentum. You must know, my lady, dis precious mixture was de greatsecret--de arcanum mirificabile--of dat wonderful Arabian physicianHamech, which Paracelsus went mad wid cudgelling his prains to findout; and Avicenna and Galen and Trismegistus and Moderatus Columellaall proke down in deir search to discover de meaning of de learnedworts in which Hamech wrote de signification. De great Swammerdam,hoch! what would he not give Doctor Debor for dat secret! I got it, mylady, from a learned Egyptian doctor, who took it from an eremite ofArabia Felix. It was not my merit, so much as my goot fortune. I amhumble, my lady, and do not poast, but speak op't woord van een eerlykman."
"He discourses beyond our depth," said Lady Baltimore, greatly puzzledto keep pace with the learned pretensions of the quack; "and yet I daresay there is virtue in these medicines. What call you your greatcompound, Doctor? I have forgotten its name."
"De Medicamentum Promethei," replied the owner of this wonderfultreasure, pleased with the interest taken in his discourse. "Yourladyship will comprehend from your reading learned pooks, datPrometheus was a great headen god, what stole de fire from Heaven,whereby he was able to vivicate and reluminate de decayed and worn-outpodies of de human families, and in a manner even to give life to deimages of clay; which is all, as your good ladyship discerns, afabulous narration, or pregnant fable, as de scholars insinuate. Andmoreover, de poets and philosophers say dat same headen god was verylearned in de knowledge of de virtues of plants and herps, which yourladyship will remark is de very consistence and identification of denoble art of pharmacy. Well den, dis Prometheus, my lady--ha, ha!--wassome little bit of a juggler, and was very fond of playing hislegerdemains wid de gods, till one day de great Jupiter, peing angrywid his jocularities and his tricks, caused him to be chained to arock, wid a hungry vulture always gnawing his liver; and dere he was indis great misery, till his pody pined away so small dat his chain wouldnot hold him, and den, aha! he showed Jupiter a goot pair of heels,like an honest fellow, and set apout to find de medicines what shouldrenovate and patch up his liver, which you may be sure he did, my lady,in a very little while. Dis again is anoder fable, to signify dat hewas troubled wid a great sickness in dat part of his pody. Now, mylady, see how well de name significates de great virtues of mymedicament, which, in de first place, is a miraculous restorer ofhealth and vigour and life to de feeble spirits of de pody: dere's defire. Second, it is composed of more dan one hundred plants, roots, andseeds, most delicately distilled, sublimed and suffumigated in alimbeck of pure virgin silver, and according to de most subtleprojections of alchemy: and dere your ladyship shall see de knowledgeof de virtues of plants and de most consummate art of de concoctions.And now for de last significance of de fable: dis medicament is aspecific of de highest exaltation for de cure, which never fails, ofall distemperatures of de liver; not to say dat it is less potent toovercome and destroy all de oder diseases I have mentioned, and manymore. Dere you see de whole Medicamentum Promethei, which I sell toworshipful peoples for one rix dollar de phial. Is it not well named,my lady, and superlative cheap? I give it away: de projection alonecosts me more dan I ask for de compound."
"The name is curiously made out," said the lady, "and worthily, if thevirtue of the compound answer the description. But your cures, you havenot yet touched upon them. I long to hear what notable feats you haveaccomplished in that sort."
"My man Dobel shall speak," replied the professor. "De great Heavenforpid I should pe a poaster to de ears of such honourable ladies!Dobel, rehearse de great penefaction of de medicament upon de excellentand discreet and virtuous vrouw of Governor Brockholls--Spreek op eeneverstaanbare wijze!"
"Hier ben ik," answered Dobel to this summons, stepping at the sametime into the middle of the room and erecting his person as stiffly asa grenadier on parade: "Goot beoplish! dish ish de drice renowned undingomprbl Doctor Closh Tebor----"
"Stop, stop, hou stil! halt--volslagen gek!" exclaimed the Doctor,horrified at the nature of the harangue his stupid servitor hadcommenced, and which for a moment threatened to continue, in spite ofthe violent remonstrance of the master, Dobel persevering like a thingspoken from rather than a thing that speaks--"Fool, jack-pudding! youpelieve yourself on a bank, up on a stage, before de rabble rout? Youwould disgrace me before honourable and noble ladies, wid your tavernhowlings, and your parkings and your pellowings! Out of de door,pegone!"
The imperturbable and stolid trumpeter, having thus unfortunatelyincurred his patron's ire, slunk from the parlour, utterly at a loss tocomprehend wherein he had offended. The Doctor in the mean while,overwhelmed with confusion and mortified vanity, bustled towards thedoor and there continued to vent imprecations upon the unconsciousDobel, which, as they were uttered in Low Dutch, were altogetherincomprehensible to the company, but at the same time were sufficientlyludicrous to produce a hearty laugh from the Lady Maria, and even toexcite a partial show of merriment in her companion. Fortunately forthe Doctor, in the midst of his embarrassment, a messenger arrived toinform him that his presence was required before the council, inanother part of the house, which order, although it deprived the ladiesof the present opportunity of learning the great efficacy of theMedicamentum Promethei in the case of the wife of Governor Brockholls,gave the Doctor a chance of recovering his self-possession by a retreatfrom the apartment. So, after an earnest entreaty to be forgiven forthe inexpert address of his man, and a promise to resume his discourseon a future occasion, he betook himself, under the guidance of themessenger, to the chamber in which the council were convened.
Here sat the Proprietary, and Philip Calvert, the Chancellor, who werenow, with five or six other gentlemen, engaged in the transaction ofbusiness of grave import.
Some depredations had been recently committed upon the English by theIndians inhabiting the upper regions of the Susquehanna,--especially bythe Sinniquoes, who, in an incursion against the Piscattaways, afriendly tribe in the vicinity of St. Mary's, had advanced into the lowcountry, where they had plundered the dwellings of the settlers andeven murdered two or three families. The victims of these outrageshappened to be Protestants, and Fendall's party availed themselves ofthe circumstance, to excite the popular jealousy against Lord Baltimoreby circulating the r
eport that these murders were committed by Papistsin disguise.
What was therefore but an ordinary though frightful incident of Indianhostility, was thus exaggerated into a crime of deep malignity,peculiarly calculated still more to embitter the party exasperations ofthe day. This consideration rendered it a subject of eager anxiety, onthe part of the Council, to procure the fullest evidence of the hostiledesigns of the Indians, and thus not only to enable the province toadopt the proper measure for its own safety, but also confute the falsereport which had imputed to the Catholics so absurd and atrocious adesign. A traveller by the name of Launcelot Sakel happened, but two orthree days before the present meeting of the Council, to arrive at theport, where he put afloat the story of an intended invasion of theprovince by certain Indians of New York, belonging to the tribes of theFive Nations, and gave as his authority for this piece of news a Dutchdoctor, whom he had fallen in with on the Delaware, where he left himselling nostrums, and who, he affirmed, was in a short space to appearat St. Mary's. This story, with many particulars, was communicated tothe Proprietary, which induced the order to summon the Doctor to attendthe council as soon after his arrival as possible. In obedience to thissummons, our worthy was now in the presence of the high powers of theprovince, not a little elated with the personal consequence attached tohis coming, as well as the very favourable reception he had obtainedfrom the ladies of the household. This consequence was even enhanced bythe suite of inquisitive domestics, who followed, at a respectfuldistance, his movement towards the council chamber, and who, eventhere, though not venturing to enter, were gathered into a group whichfrom the outside of the door commanded a view of the party within: inthe midst of these Willy of the Flats was by no means an unconspicuouspersonage.
Lord Baltimore received the itinerant physician with that bland andbenignant accost which was habitual to him, and proceeded with briefceremony to interrogate him as to the purport of his visit. The answerswere given with a solemn self-complacency, not unmixed with thatshrewdness which was an essential attribute to the success of theancient quacksalver. He described himself as Doctor Claus Debor, anative of Holland, a man of travel, enjoying no mean renown in NewYork, and, for two years past, a resident of Albany. His chief designin his present journey, he represented to be to disseminate theblessings of his great medicament; whereupon he was about to launchforth into an exuberant tone of panegyric, and had, in fact, alreadyproduced a smile at the council board by some high wrought phrasesexpressive of his incredible labour in the quest of his great secret,when the Proprietary checked his career by a timely admonition.
"Ay, we do not seek to know thy merits as a physician, nor doubt thegreat virtue of thy drugs, worthy Doctor; but in regard thereto, givethee free permission to make what profit of them you reasonably may inthe province. Still, touching this license, I must entreat you, inconsideration that my Lady Baltimore has weak nerves, and cannot endurerude noises, to refrain from blowing thy trumpet within hearing of thismansion: besides, our people," he added, looking archly towards thegroup of domestics, some of whom had now edged into the apartment, "aresomewhat faint-hearted at such martial sounds."
"By my troth!" said Willy, in a half whisper to his companions in theentry; "my Lord hath put it to him for want of manners!--I thought asmuch would come from his tantararas. Listen, you shall hear more anon.Whist!--the Doctor puts on a face--and will have his say, in turn."
"Your very goot and admirable Lordship, mistranslates de significanceof my visit," said the Doctor, in his ambitious phrase; "for although Imost heartily tank your Lordship's bounty for de permission to sell myinestimable medicament, and which--Got geve het--I do hope shall muchadvantage my lady wid her weak nerfs and her ailments,--still, I cometo opey your most honourable Lordship's summons, which I make pold topelieve is concerned wid state matters pefore de high and noblecouncil."
"Well, and bravely spoken," said Willy; "and with a good face!--theDoctor holds his own, masters."
"We would hear what you can tell touching a rumour brought to us by oneMaster Launcelot Sakel, whom you saw at Christina Fort," said theProprietary.
"There is the point of the matter," whispered Willy, "all in an eggshell."
"Dere is weighty news, my Lord," replied the Doctor. "I have gootreason to pelieve dat de Nordern Indians of New York are meditating andconcocting mischief against your Lordship's province."
"Have a care to the truth of your report," said Colonel Talbot, risingfrom his seat: "it may be worse for you if you be found to trifle withus by passing current a counterfeit story, churned into consistence inyour own brain, out of the froth of idle, way-side gossipings. We havea statute against the spreaders of false news."
"Heigh, heigh!--listen to that," said Willy, nudging one of the crowdover whose shoulders he was peering into the room. "There's an outcomewith a witness!--there's a flanconade that shall make the Doctorflutter!"
"If I am mendacious," replied the Doctor, "dat is, if I am forgetful ofmine respect for trute, dese honourable gentlemens shall teal wid me asa lying pusy pody and pragmatical tale-bearer. Your Lordship shallhear. It is put a fortnight ago, when I was making ready for disjourney, in Alpany, I chanced to see in de town so many as two score,perhaps fifty Indians, who were dere trading skins for powder and shot.Dey reported demselves to be Sinniquoes, and said dey came to talk widde tribes furder back, to get deir help to fight against dePiscattaways."
"Indeed!--there is probability in that report," said the Proprietary:"well, and how had they sped? what was their success?"
"Some of de Five Nations,--I forget de name of de tribe, my Lord--itmight pe de Oneidas--dey told us, promised to march early de nextseason;--in dere own worts, when de sap pegin to rise."
"In what force, did they say?"
"In large force, my Lord. De Piscattaways, dey said, were frents to myLord and de English,--and so dey should make clean work wid red andwhite."
"What more?"
"Dey signified dat dey should have great help from de Delawares andSusquehannocks, who, as I could make it out, wanted to go to war widyour Lordship's peoples at once."
"True; and they have done so. The insolencies of these tribes arealready as much as we can endure. Did they find it easy to purchasetheir powder and lead in Albany? I should hope that traffic would notbe allowed."
"My Lord, de traders do not much stop, when dey would turn a penny, toreckon who shall get de loss, so dey get de profit. Dese same Indians Isaw afterwards in de town of New York, trading in de same way widMaster Grimes, a merchant."
"Mischief will come of this," said the Proprietary, "unless it bespeedily taken in hand. What reason was given by the Northern Indiansfor joining in this scheme?"
"I tink it was said," replied the Doctor, "dat your Lordship had notmade your treaties wid dem, nor sent dem presents, dese two yearspast."
"True," interposed the Chancellor; "we have failed in thatcaution--although I have more than once reminded your Lordship of itsnecessity."
"It shall not be longer delayed," replied the Proprietary. "You aresure, Doctor Debor, these were Sinniquoes you saw?"
"I only know dem by dere own report--I never heard de name pefore. Myman Dobel heard dem as well as me; wid your Lordship's permission Ishall ask him," said the Doctor, as he went to the door and directedsome of the domestics to call the man Dobel.
It happened that Dobel, after his disgrace, had kept apart from theservants of the household, and was now lamenting his misfortune in avoluntary exile on the green at the front door, where Willy of theFlats having hastened to seek him, gave him the order to appear beforethe council.
"Dobel, you are a made man," he said by way of encouragement; "yourmaster wants you to speak to their honours: and the honourable councilwant to hear you, Dobel; and so does his Lordship. Hold up thy head,Dobel, and speak for thy manhood--boldly and out, like a buckler man."
"Ya, ya," replied Dobel, whose acquirements in the English tongue werelimited to his professional advertisement of Doctor Debor'
s fame, and afew slender fragments of phrases in common use. Thus admonished byWilly, he proceeded doggedly to the Council Chamber, where as soon ashe entered, the Proprietary made a motion to him with his hand toapproach the table,--which Dobel interpreting into an order to deliverhis sentiments, he forthwith began in a loud voice--
"Goot beoplish! dish is de drice renowned und ingomprbl Doctor----"
Before he had uttered the name, the Doctor's hand was thrust acrossDobel's mouth and a volley of Dutch oaths rapped into his ears, at arate which utterly confounded the poor trumpeter, who was forciblyexpelled from the room, almost by a general order. When quiet wasrestored,--for it may be imagined the scene was not barren oflaughter,--the Doctor made a thousand apologies for the stupidity ofhis servant, and in due time received permission to retire, havingdelivered all that he was able to say touching the matter in agitationbefore the Proprietary.
The Council were for some time after this incident engaged in theconsideration of the conspiracy against the Proprietary, of which newevidences were every day coming to light; and it was now resolved thatthe matter should be brought into the notice of the judicial authorityat an early day.
The only circumstance which I have further occasion to notice, relatedto a diversion which was not unusual at that day amongst theinhabitants of the province, and which required the permission of theCouncil. It was brought into debate by Colonel Talbot.
"Stark Whittle, the swordsman," he said, "has challenged SergeantTravers to play a prize at such weapons as they may select--and theSergeant accepts the challenge, provided it meet the pleasure of hisLordship and the Council. I promised to be a patron to the play."
"It shall be as you choose," said the Proprietary. "This martial sporthas won favour with our people. Let it be so ordered that it tend notto the breach of the peace. We commit it to your hands, ColonelTalbot." The Council, assented and the necessary order was recorded onthe journal.
Rob of the Bowl: A Legend of St. Inigoe's. Vol. 1 (of 2) Page 16