by Ginn Hale
“You said it yourself earlier. Most people are just looking for an excuse to act on their prejudices. An accusation of murder against the Irabiim might be all it takes to get them killed. They may be dirty but I don’t think they should be blamed for Victaro’s murder, do you?”
“No, of course not.” Kiram staggered to the bathroom and washed his face. He scrubbed at his teeth with a paste of pumice and clove oil then spat it out. “I just can’t figure out why Fedeles would tell me that.”
Javier walked to the doorway of the bathroom. “I don’t know. He says a lot of things but they can’t all be taken seriously.”
“I know.” Kiram accepted the shirt Javier handed him. It was cleaner than the pants. “But I don’t think everything he says should be dismissed either. Someone really did kill that groom.”
“Nestor can’t have failed to inform you about the culprit,” Javier said.
“He told me. Everyone thinks you did it.” Kiram looked directly into Javier’s face. He saw the momentary hurt in Javier’s expression and then that almost challenging look of amusement returned.
“If I did, he wouldn’t be the first man I’ve killed.”
“You didn’t kill him,” Kiram replied flatly. He walked past Javier to the dresser and retrieved his stockings.
“You’ll want to wear your riding boots,” Javier told him. Kiram grabbed them. He sat down on his bed to pull the tight leather boots on. Javier studied him for a moment.
“How do you know I didn’t kill Victaro?” Javier asked at last.
“Just consider yourself as a criminal. What kind of crimes do you commit and how do you commit them?”
Javier frowned in puzzlement, which pleased Kiram, so he continued with his analysis.
“You don’t seem like the kind of man who would leave a lot of evidence. When you were just stealing a pie you still took care not to get caught. It just doesn’t seem in your nature that you’d be so messy or so willing to let everyone think you had killed Victaro if you really had.”
“So, you’re saying that the fact that I won’t deny killing Victaro means I didn’t do it? That doesn’t strike me as the most indisputable of arguments I’ve ever encountered,” Javier replied.
“No, but it doesn’t make me wrong either. You didn’t kill him. You’re taking the blame because you know that your title will shield you from prosecution. That means that not only do you know the killer’s identity but that it’s someone whom you wish to protect.”
Javier gazed down to his hands, frowning, and Kiram knew he had to be right. He could only think of one person whom Javier would protect so staunchly. Javier defended him so fiercely that he had free run of the entire academy. But allowing him to murder a groom? Kiram didn’t know if he could believe that either.
The purely intellectual aspect of Kiram wanted to force the subject, to corner Javier and make him to admit what he knew. But a deeper, wiser instinct kept him quiet. He didn’t think he was ready just yet to know what Javier was truly capable of doing to protect his cousin.
And for all he knew Fedeles had acted in his own self-defense, if the groom really had assaulted him…Kiram just didn’t know and for the first time in his life he thought he might not have the right to ask. This wasn’t a philosophical curiosity, or a mathematical problem; it was Javier’s and Fedeles’ private lives.
Javier made the choice for him. He strode to the wardrobe and tossed Kiram a heavy jacket. “The sun’s hardly up. It’s going to be cold outside.”
Kiram followed Javier down through the dormitory and across the grounds to the stables.
Outside, the air was cool and only faint rays of sunlight passed through the surrounding orchards. Deep blue shadows stretched across the cobblestone walkways and pooled in the recesses of the buildings. Kiram expected the grounds to be deserted but dozens of servants clogged the paths and scurried between the buildings. Scullery boys dashed from the gardens with baskets of vegetables, while housemen hauled buckets of water from the well to the dormitory. Smoke already pumped up from the smithy. And in the distant shadows of the woods Kiram thought he spied the figure of a groundskeeper returning from his hunt with sacks of dead rabbits, or perhaps quail.
In the stable, the grooms hauled fresh hay to the stalls, changing out feed and water, and leading horses to the farrier. They kept clear of Javier as he strode through the stable. Kiram noticed that many of the grooms watched Javier’s approach with intense fear. After he passed by they shot hateful glances at his back.
If Javier noticed any of this, he gave no indication. He walked through the stable as if he had the building all to himself. Kiram followed him, suppressing his apprehension at the thought of so many grooms glaring at his back.
At last, Javier stopped in front of a stall. Almost immediately Firaj poked his big black head over the door. His ears pricked up slightly and Kiram hoped it was a sign of the horse’s interest, not annoyance.
Javier held out the back of his hand and Firaj drew in a deep snort and then sighed out a soft, pleased noise.
“Today I thought we’d take a slow walk around the academy grounds.” Javier’s voice was so soothingly gentle that Kiram suspected he was addressing the horse as much as him. “Does that sound all right to you?”
“I guess…I’ve only ridden in the arena.”
“After three months Firaj is probably bored with that routine.”
“Horses get bored?” Kiram couldn’t imagine an animal that was content to stand in a pasture grazing for hours on end being bored by anything.
“Of course.” Javier stroked Firaj’s cheek. “They feel as much as any man does and they aren’t above playing pranks to alleviate their tedium.”
“You don’t think Firaj pranced backwards just because he was bored, do you?”
“I don’t know, but I think he might enjoy something new so long as it isn’t too startling.” Javier glanced back at Kiram and smiled. “He’s a little like you that way, I think.”
Kiram was sure that if it hadn’t been so early he would have had a retort, but as it was he just rolled his eyes at Javier.
Javier showed him how to saddle and bridle Firaj. Previously the grooms had always done this for him. Kiram hadn’t thought it took so much work. Somehow he’d imagined that the grooms just tossed the saddles on the horses’ backs and buckled them up and everything was ready. Instead he discovered that he had to work slowly, warming the bit in his hands and tightening the girth incrementally so that neither device caused Firaj undue irritation.
“You have to show him that you’ll be good to him, or he won’t trust you to direct him. Though that doesn’t mean letting him get away with anything he likes.” Javier gave Kiram a meaningful glance.
“I’m not a horse,” Kiram responded.
“Of course not,” Javier replied but then he smiled. “Though there are similarities between horses and men.”
Kiram pulled the girth another notch tighter. Firaj seemed to hardly notice. He had given himself up completely to Javier’s firm strokes and scratches. He brought his head down happily to accept the bridle when Javier slipped it over his nose and buckled it behind his head.
“A mount must acknowledge that the rider is in charge, first and foremost.” Javier sounded a little more serious. “There are any number of ways to convince a horse of that. The fastest is to simply beat him when he resists. But that tends to produce a mount without courage. He will run for you but only because he’s afraid not to. If he comes up against something he fears more than you then he will disobey. Fear only goes so far. If you’re going to ask something truly difficult of him, like carrying you into battle or taking a blind leap, then he can’t just fear you. He has to trust you and love you.”
“I don’t think Firaj trusts, fears, or loves me,” Kiram said.
“No, probably not. He’s just met you. I think you still have to teach him to respect you.” Javier checked the girth and then handed the horse’s reins to Kiram. “Why don’t you le
ad him out?”
“How do I do make him trust me?” Kiram asked Javier as they walked through the stable.
“Be kind but firm with him. Stop him when he goes too far. Just don’t let him take advantage of you.” Javier glanced at Kiram. “Treat him the same way you treat me. You’ll do just fine.”
“Very funny.”
Once they were outside, Kiram swung up into Firaj’s saddle. He was happy that he had mastered this one aspect of riding if none other. He could mount and dismount smoothly.
“So, where to now?” Kiram asked.
“We’ll follow the orchard trail. I’ll walk alongside you.”
In the orchard, the branches of the apple trees hung low with fruit. Kiram could hear the stream far ahead. A brilliant blue jay screeched at them as they passed. Kiram watched as the bird flitted from one tree to the next and then it disappeared back into the shadows of the orchard.
“The jays in Anacleto aren’t nearly so bright,” Kiram commented. “Their heads are completely black, so they look like they’ve all singed their faces from looking down chimneys. My grandmother used to call them soot-beaked spies.” Kiram had expected this ride to be more of an ordeal, like the lessons he took with Master Ignacio. But Javier seemed content to simply stride along as if he were taking a morning stroll.
“The jays in Rauma are blue like these, but much bigger and louder. I’ve never liked jays. Might be one of the reasons I’m not so fond of the color blue either,” Javier commented.
“You must get pretty sick of these uniforms then.” Kiram glanced down at Javier. “What color do you like?”
Javier looked back up at him. His expression seemed so relaxed that Kiram wondered if he might still be a little sleepy.
“I like gold and yellow,” Javier said. “Your hair is almost exactly the perfect color.”
Kiram wasn’t prepared for such an artless compliment from Javier. Somehow it touched him more deeply than any of Javier’s innuendos. He felt his cheeks flushing a bright red.
This once Javier didn’t gloat over Kiram’s reaction. He seemed more concerned with Kiram’s riding.
“Try to sit up a little straighter,” Javier said. “If you hunch like that your back will take a pounding. It’ll really hurt after a long race.”
“I’m not going to be racing…am I?”
“This year you’ll only be in the opening competition, but next year, who knows? Either way you’ll be more comfortable if you straighten a little more. That’s it.” Javier studied him for a moment. “You’ve got decent posture for someone who’s never ridden before.”
“It’s from dancing, I think.”
“Maybe. Or you might have picked up more from Master Ignacio than you think. Rein Firaj to a stop and have him stand at attention while you pick a few of those apples.”
Kiram followed Javier’s instructions. He had a little difficulty keeping Firaj from grazing but at last succeeded and picked four apples from an overhanging branch.
“At the end of the ride you should give him an apple.”
“Would you like one?”
Javier nodded. “Hand it to me though, don’t throw it. Horses can spook if there are things flying around behind their heads.”
Kiram did as he was instructed and Javier peeled the red skin from one of the apples with his penknife. Kiram was impressed with how quickly and cleanly he did it. He wondered if an affinity for carving ran in Javier’s family.
“Has Fedeles ever shown you any of his carvings?” Kiram asked.
“Carvings?” Javier frowned. “He carves?”
“He said he did. He showed me several figures cut into trees near the stream.”
“Do you mean all those birds and that little man picking his nose that looks just like Holy Father Habalan?” Javier asked.
“I thought he looked something like Holy Father Habalan too,” Kiram admitted.
Javier didn’t look amused. “Fedeles didn’t carve that or any of the others. They were here when we arrived at the Academy three years ago. He must be playing some kind of joke on you.” Javier cut a wedge out of his apple and handed the piece to Kiram.
“What’s wrong with him?” That wasn’t quite what Kiram wanted to know, but he didn’t think Javier would answer him honestly if he asked whether Fedeles was getting worse.
“I told you, he’s cursed.” Javier stared out into the deep blue shadows of the orchard.
“But cursed how? I mean, do you know what this curse does?” Kiram took a bite of his apple. A sharp, fragrant taste filled his mouth. He guessed that most people would have preferred something sweeter, but he liked the edge to the flavor.
“The curse burns into your body like a fever and fills your head with nightmares,” Javier said softly. “At first you hear screams but they sound like they’re far away and they don’t come often. You start hearing them more in the evenings, especially when you’re lying in bed just on the verge of falling asleep. You get stomach aches and strange, piercing pains. You begin to dream of dying. Night after night you dream of iron pikes splitting up through your body, and the weight of your own flesh driving you further down onto them. Soon the dreams spread into your waking hours. The pain becomes unceasing and all you can hear are screams, hundreds of screams. You can’t speak. You can’t eat. You can hardly think. All you want is to die.”
Javier shoved his hair back from his face, his expression strangely tense. “It came for me when I was seven. It would have killed me if my father hadn’t passed the white hell to me then. He saved my life but it left him no defense of his own. The curse took him last year and now it’s killing Fedeles.”
Javier glanced up at Kiram. His dark eyes were too bright and though he had shed no tears, Kiram thought he must have come close. Javier made an effort at one of his unconcerned smiles.
“The thing is, I can save Fedeles. I know how. All I have to do is give the white hell to him. It will burn the curse out of him.”
“But then you wouldn’t have any protection,” Kiram stated.
Javier nodded and dropped his gaze from Kiram.
“I love Fedeles but I’m just too much of a pig to die like that, even for him.” Javier hurled his peeled apple away violently. A jay shrieked as the apple struck a tree branch. Firaj gave a slight shake of his head but didn’t seem alarmed by the sudden motion or noise.
They traveled a little further in silence, crossing a second bridge over the stream and wandering slowly back towards the academy. Kiram wished he could think of something to say but there were no words he knew of that could make any of what Javier had described seem less terrible.
For the first time in his life he wondered what he would really be willing to sacrifice for his own brother or sisters. Would he be willing to suffer and die the way Javier described for any one of them? He loved his family and yet he didn’t know that he would be able to make that sacrifice.
At last, Javier glanced to Kiram.
He said, “You’re slouching again.”
Kiram straightened.
“And don’t look so serious.”
“What do you mean, don’t look serious? That curse is terrible!”
“Believe me, I know. But many things are terrible. You can’t let yourself brood on them, especially not the things you can’t change.”
“But maybe this curse could be changed. Maybe there’s a solution that—”
“That no one but you has thought of?” Javier’s expression was one of amused skepticism. Kiram suddenly realized just how arrogant the suggestion had been. “This curse has hunted my family for eighteen years. Trust me, any solution you could imagine, some desperate Tornesal has already attempted. There have been dozens of exorcisms and pilgrimages. Vows, penances, bribes. The cathedral my uncle funded is still being built, and he’s been dead seventeen years now. Before my mother died there were shifts of priests who prayed day and night for her safety. There have been blood sacrifices and even black magic. So far only Scholar Donamillo’s mech
anical cures have had any effect at all. And it’s still no real salvation.”
Kiram frowned down at the reins in his hands. He had nothing to offer. Still he hated the thought of simply giving up.
“And in any case, this is my concern. Not yours,” Javier told him firmly. “You have your own problems to worry about.”
“I don’t have any problems as dangerous as yours.”
“You may think so, but Master Ignacio might just kill you if you don’t improve your riding. So I’d concentrate on that if I were you.” Javier gave him one of his hard smiles.
Kiram let the subject drop. He knew Javier didn’t want to discuss the curse and wouldn’t be goaded. At the same time it wasn’t as if Kiram could simply forget that some strange, cruel curse was hunting his upperclassman’s family.
He couldn’t help but wonder what had caused the curse. What gave it its power, and most importantly what could destroy it? The fact that a mechanism had impacted it—at least protected Fedeles to some extent—made Kiram think that perhaps he could find some solution. Perhaps Scholar Donamillo could use his help if Kiram could approach him in the right way.
“More jays,” Javier commented.
Kiram watched them pass overhead. He forced his attention back to his riding lesson, keeping his weight down in his saddle and working into the rhythm of Firaj’s long gait. Javier corrected his posture once more as they continued the ride.
When they reached the academy, bright golden sunlight illuminated the grounds and the low boom of the first bell reverberated from the chapel. None of the house servants were anywhere in sight and most of the grooms were out exercising the horses.
It was quiet in the stable. Javier showed Kiram how to brush a horse down and reminded him to offer Firaj the apple he’d picked. Firaj seemed to appreciate the treat. Though Kiram wasn’t good at grooming him, Firaj endured his ministrations patiently.
“It’s good to touch him. He needs to grow accustomed to your physical presence as much as you need to get used to his,” Javier commented as Kiram finished brushing Firaj’s coat. “When you’re comfortable together it will be easier to trust each other.”