by Anne Herries
It was these pictures and others that had sustained him in the years away, his dreams of returning and making her his wife. Then came the despair and grief of seeing so many die—and his own terrible injuries. He’d believed then that he could never wed her, but she’d seen the man she loved and not the scar. She was clever and beautiful and bold—and that was the way he wanted her. He loved her…and always would, no matter what she did or how often they quarrelled.
Zander felt the armour he’d built up over the years crumble about his heart. Why had he tried to keep a distance between them? Why had he not told her how much she truly meant to him? Perhaps if she understood that she would know why he’d had to make that alliance for her sake.
With the realisation of his love came the knowledge that he had not changed deep down inside, despite all the suffering. He had denied God, but God had watched over him, waiting for him to return to His love and mercy.
Zander felt his eyes sting. He made the sign of the Cross over his chest as he whispered a silent prayer, thanking the Good Lord for the bounty he had granted in giving him so much. He knew then that he must make his peace with Elaine somehow.
Elaine had gone to her chamber. As Zander rose to follow her, he wondered if he would find her door opened or locked against him. He frowned. She must listen to him before he left her—even if he had to break it down.
Elaine had been thoughtful as she went up to her chamber. She hadn’t been in the least tired, but she did not wish to go on with this restraint between them; it no longer soothed her pride to prick at Zander and see that look of annoyance in his eyes. Her chest had felt tight with tears and her eyes had stung. In the morning he would leave her for some weeks. All she wanted was to be in his arms, to feel his lips on hers and give herself up to the sweetness of his loving—but if she gave in now she would never be more to him than just a pair of warm arms when they were needed and a chatelaine for his houses.
She had told Marion that she did not wish for help just yet. Alone in her chamber, she sat down and removed her headdress and veil, taking up her silver brush and shaking out her long hair. Hearing the door open behind her, she did not turn until the voice spoke.
‘You are just as beautiful as ever,’ it said. ‘I shall enjoy breaking you to my will.’
Elaine spun round, her breath catching in her throat as she saw the man standing in her chamber. He looked gaunt and ill, his eyes seeming to glitter as if with fever and yet there was an air of menace about him that chilled her.
‘How did you get in here?’ she asked and curled her nails into the palms of her hands as she saw the curving scimitar he was holding. ‘You will never leave this house alive. My husband’s men will cut you to pieces.’
‘You are a proud bitch,’ Philip said and moved closer to her. ‘Yes, it will be a pleasure to tame you—to teach you who is your master.’
‘You came here alone?’ Elaine was disbelieving. It was possible that one man might have slipped through the tight net that Zander had thrown around her to protect her, but she did not believe that his men were with him. ‘You cannot expect to escape alive.’
‘My life means little to me,’ he said, ‘though I bear a charmed one. I shall have what I want and that is the humbling of you and that husband of yours. He shall watch me as I bring you to heel—and then I shall kill him.’
Was he mad? Elaine had only to scream and…she’d told her women not to come to her yet. Down in the hall the men were still laughing, drinking and enjoying their last night at Sweetbriars. Could she reach the door and escape? She stood up and took a step forwards, but Philip moved closer, further into the room, his blade weaving from side to side, as if to threaten her.
Would he as soon kill her as ravish her? How could he imagine that she would submit to him? He must know that she would struggle and scream. She would fight until her last breath.
‘You are mad,’ she said, raising her head proudly. ‘I shall never submit to you. I would rather die.’
‘Take her,’ Philip called and two of his servants came from the shadows behind him, moving towards her menacingly. ‘Bind the witch’s arms behind her, but do not harm her. I want her alive…I want her to know what is happening to her and her husband. I want her to feel the pain.’
Elaine gave a scream of rage and rushed towards the door. The men leaped at her, grabbing her arms and trying to hold her as she struggled, kicking, screaming and biting like a wild thing. It took them several minutes to subdue her, but in the end their combined strength overpowered her. They thrust her to her knees before Philip, her hands secured behind her back. She could taste blood on her lips, but wasn’t sure if it was hers or theirs.
‘And now we wait,’ Philip said, smiling at her in a way that made her feel sick. he was surely not sane. No one in their right mind could find pleasure in seeing someone humbled as he suggested.
‘Are you mad that you come here?’ she asked, lifting her head proudly. ‘If you harm either my lord or me, his men will kill you.’
‘I shall have my revenge first. Gag the witch,’ he ordered and one of his servants tied a filthy rag about her mouth despite all her efforts to dislodge it.
Elaine cursed herself for speaking out and angering him. Now she had no means of warning Zander—but perhaps he would not come? Her behaviour of late might have made him decide it was not worth the effort.
Even as she thought it, she saw a shadow darken the doorway.
‘Elaine…’ Zander’s voice made Philip turn to look at him. ‘What is this…?’ His voice died away as he saw Philip and the two servants standing behind Elaine, forcing her to her knees. ‘So, Philip, the rumours were lies to deceive us. How did you manage to enter Sweetbriars? Or can I guess…you came through the side gate when the men returned from hunting and were not noticed in the gathering gloom. Someone will be reprimanded for not keeping a more watchful eye.’
‘You could not keep me out however I came.’ Philip smiled and made a signal to one of his servants, who placed a knife at Elaine’s throat. ‘Throw down your arms and submit to being tied or she dies.’
Elaine tried to cry out but could only make a mumbling sound behind the filthy gag, so she shook her head violently. he must not submit. Could he not see it was the worst thing he could do? Once Philip had him secure, he would carry out his vile plan to despoil her before he killed them both.
She felt a surge of despair as she saw Zander unbuckle his sword and let it fall to the ground. He threw her a strange look she could not interpret before placing his hands behind his back.
‘Tie him!’ Philip cried gleefully and one of his servants rushed to obey. The man took out a stout rope and began to tie Zander’s hands. Elaine did not see what happened next, but before she knew what was happening, Zander had the man on his back on the ground and a knife in his hand. The hapless servant was bleeding from a wound to his hands and lay whimpering with fright.
‘Tell your servant to move away from her or this dog dies.’
‘I care not what happens to the scum,’ Philip screamed and pointed to the servant behind Elaine. ‘Kill her…kill her…’
‘Do you imagine you can leave this place alive?’ Zander asked, addressing the servants. ‘I shall give you one chance to get out and live. Go now, the pair of you, or you will both die painful deaths at the hands of my men. One shout from me and you are both dead—but my quarrel is with your master, not you.’
The servant holding the knife to Elaine’s throat hesitated, then took the knife away. He began to edge closer to the door, then, as Zander kicked the other man, he ran past him and down the twisting stair. The second man rose to his feet at a jerk of Zander’s head and fled as fast as he could after his fellow.
Philip was pale and sweating. He moved closer to Elaine, pointing his sword at her. Zander bent to retrieve his own blade. He moved steadily towards them, but Elaine was on her feet. They had tied only her hands and she could run now there was no one to overpower her. Philip tried to block h
er path, but Zander’s knife went flying through the air and sliced into his arm, making him scream with pain. He turned to face Zander, who jerked his head at Elaine.
She needed no telling and went running past him, down the stairs to the hall where she screamed for help. Although only mumbled sounds came from her, men turned to look at her and she motioned frantically up the stairs with her head. As they ran past her, Janvier saw that her hands were tied and came to cut her free, easing the filthy rag from her mouth.
‘My master?’
She pulled the gag away. ‘Is fighting Lord Stornway. You must help him.’
‘I think he will manage well enough,’ Janvier said. ‘Lord Stornway is soft and never as skilled as my lord. Come, lady, sit here and drink some wine.’
‘I should go back,’ Elaine said and started towards the stair, but Janvier held her arm.
‘Forgive me, my lady, but your presence would only hinder Lord Zander. He must kill the man who was once his friend—and he will not wish you to see it.’
Elaine drew a sobbing breath. ‘But I love him…’
‘As he loves you, above all else. Why do you think he made a truce with a man he despises? Do you think it was easy for him to rein in his temper? It was for your sake, to keep you safe. There are times when a man must leave his lady and, if she is to be safe, he needs friends, not enemies.’
‘Yes…’ Tears were trickling down her cheeks. ‘I know. It was just…just that he did not ask me.’
‘A knight must be strong to win the respect of others. Any knight who asked his lady’s permission would be laughed at behind his back. Is that what you want? Or would you rather be protected and honoured—as my lord honours you?’
Elaine bowed her head, tears dampening her cheeks as she felt shamed by his scolding. She certainly had no wish to belittle Zander before his men. Suddenly, she realised how foolish she’d been, wasting the last few days she had with Zander—if he should be killed and they had parted in anger…A scream built inside her, but she held it back.
What was happening up there? She could hear nothing. It seemed eerily silent and her heart caught with terror. Had Lord Stornway killed Zander?
As she looked fearfully towards the stair that led to her solar, she saw Zander come down. He hesitated a moment, but she was on her feet and running to him.
‘My lord, you are not hurt. He planned to make you watch as he despoiled me…and then he would have killed us both.’
Zander nodded grimly. ‘I think he was mad. He lost his mind completely and screamed such things, obscenities…and he foamed at the mouth…I am glad you were not there to see or hear. I think his death was in the end a mercy and a blessing to him, for the thing he had become was not the man I once knew.’
‘Forgive me,’ Elaine whispered. ‘Please forgive me for my temper and my obstinacy.’
A frown creased his brow. ‘You should not ask for my forgiveness. I despise Newark as much as you, Elaine. Even though I know he was never my enemy, I despise him. It sticks in my craw that I must treat with men of his ilk—but it was the best for us, for you, my love. In life a man cannot always choose those he must befriend for the sake of peace.’
‘I know. I was foolish but I wanted you to love me…to respect me for who I am.’ She was weeping now.
Zander smiled and reached out to wipe the tears from her cheeks. ‘Do you not know how much I adore you, my love? I have tried to show you in many ways, but words do not come easily to me these days. I am not the youth I was when I left to follow the king.’
‘I know, but I love the man who returned to me,’ Elaine said. ‘Please forgive me. I shall try to obey you and—’
Zander sealed her lips with a kiss that took her breath. She pressed closer to him, wanting her response to tell him all that was in her heart, but he put her from him and took her by the hands.
‘You cannot return to your chamber this night, Elaine. It must be cleansed and sweetened. You will sleep in my bed this night and in the morning—’
‘Take me with you when you leave,’ she begged before he could finish. ‘Show me the new manor—let us make the decision of where we shall live together.’
Zander hesitated, then nodded. ‘Yes, you shall come with me. I am not sure that I could bear to part with you.’ A tiny shudder went through him and he clasped her hand tighter. ‘I might so easily have lost you…had it not been for the mercy of God. Come, Elaine, let me take you to my chamber.’
Elaine held tightly to his hand as he led her towards the stair leading to his own chamber. She knew that it was bare compared to hers, the sleeping quarters of a soldier. He was a rich man, but he had been used to the rigours of war and had not bothered with the comforts he might have commanded, though he’d spared no expense for her.
Zander had given her jewels, silks and his protection. He’d shown his care of her in the only way he understood. He was a knight who had fought and suffered—and he had risked his own life to save hers.
She knew that a part of him must have found it hard to kill the man who had been his friend, but he had not shirked his duty. Had Philip stayed in his castle, Zander would probably have tried to make a truce with him, but he’d threatened Elaine and he’d paid the price.
Lord Stornway had been the King’s Marshal—would that mean Zander must answer to King Richard for his death? She was certain it must and felt afraid for the future.
She was silent as they climbed the twisted stair to Zander’s chamber, but once he shut the door behind them, she turned to him anxiously.
‘Will the King be angry because you killed Lord Stornway?’
‘Perhaps. I shall lay my case before him when he returns, but do not concern yourself with this now, Elaine.’
As she stood looking at him in wonder, Zander knelt before her. She gazed down at him, not understanding, but then he bent and kissed her feet, which were bare.
‘How cold they are,’ he said. ‘Had I realised they were bare I should have carried you.’
‘My feet do not matter,’ she said. ‘Why do you kneel to me, my lord?’
‘I am not worthy to be your husband,’ Zander said. ‘I want you to accept my homage and know that you are more precious to me than all the world. I have ever loved you—and never more than when I understood what Philip would have done to you.’
‘Oh, Zander, get up,’ Elaine said and pulled at him, making him rise and stand. She looked into his face, then stretched out her hand to stroke his cheek. ‘Do you not know how much I love and honour you? You could never be unworthy of my love. I know you for the honourable knight you are.’
‘In war a man does terrible things. This night I killed a man who was once my friend—and there were women and children killed and despoiled when we fought in the Holy Land.’
‘You told me,’ Elaine said softly. ‘The man who did these things was not you, my love—it was a soldier who did as he was told, who carried out his duty.’
‘And must again if Richard should ask it of me, though I would not again go to make war on other people, but I must defend my king if need be.’
‘I know, I understand. All I want is that you love me…treat me as your equal and tell me what you mean to do. I would be by your side in all things, sharing the good with the bad.’
‘I see you as far above me,’ he said and smiled. ‘But I will promise now that, inasmuch as I can, I will share my decisions with you—though there may be times when I cannot, when all our lives might depend upon a quick decision.’
‘I understand that, of course I do,’ Elaine said. ‘You are the lord here and you defend us as you see best—but in the things we share I wish to know that you value my thoughts.’
‘You cannot forgive me for making a truce with Newark?’
‘I have forgiven and I understand.’ Elaine sighed. ‘You are not the only one who realised this night that life is too short to quarrel. Had anything happened to you…I should not have wished to live.’
‘You are alwa
ys my first concern,’ Zander said. ‘Now let us put these things behind us.’ He moved towards her purposefully and reached out to take her in his arms. ‘You know I love you—you will not withdraw from me again?’
‘Never,’ she said and lifted her face for his kiss. ‘I love you, Zander. I love you more than life.’
Zander moaned low in his throat, then bent to sweep her into his arms. He carried her to his bed, which was big enough for the two of them, but much harder than Elaine was used to. Yet she made no complaint as he set her down, merely reaching out for him as he began to kiss and caress her.
‘My beautiful, beautiful love,’ he said. ‘I have never been as afraid as I was of losing you this night.’
‘And I of losing you,’ she murmured, her lips against his as she drew his head down. His hands moved swiftly to remove her tunic and then her chemise, which were tossed to the floor together with his own gown.
They lay together, flesh to flesh, quivering and eager for the loving that both knew would be special. Elaine had always felt fulfilled and happy after lying in Zander’s arms, but as he began to kiss and caress her now she knew that she’d never felt such pleasure in her life. Each kiss seemed to draw her heart from her body and she pressed against him, wanting more. His hands stroked and caressed, making her moan and whimper with need as the desire flared between them and became white-hot. Her hands stroked his back, her nails scoring his shoulders as he slid inside her and she shrieked out.
‘Zander…’ she moaned. ‘Zander, my love…oh, yes, that is so lovely…so very good…’