One day, as he was helping an elderly neighbor cut freshly plucked gurja fruit, Lam froze mid-slice. His eyes had fallen upon a young woman crossing the central space before him. Her long, black hair fell well past her shoulders, and the skin of her arms wrapped around the basket she held seemed to be perfect and pure. His blade slipped from his hand as he watched her turn her body and maneuver around a group of children who had stumbled across her path. The flash of leg that emerged from her wrappings of maroon and gold as her feet darted to a clear path made his heart stop. She glanced his direction as the old woman he was helping began laughing and cackling uncontrollably. Lam and the girl’s eyes met for a brief moment, and the image of her large, deep brown eyes was burned into his mind forever. Her full lips blessed him with a soft smile just before she turned and continued on her way. He knew instantly this was something he would not forget.
“Eh, heh heh! You like that, eh, boy?” the woman beside him poked his ribs before erupting into wild laughter again. “Ah, to be young again,” she sighed.
“Who,” Lam began, “Who is that?” The girl’s hips swayed ever so slightly as she continued away from the central space, but not so slightly it escaped Lam’s attention.
“That one is the daughter of Terlikk’s brother.”
Lam looked at the old woman quickly. The girl was related to their neighbor who had offered his home for them? Why had he never seen her before now? He opened his mouth to ask even as his elder offered the answer.
“The Shen-Ma sent for her from the distant Piktel village.” She leaned close to him and whispered, “The word behind closed doors says she is in training to be the next Shen-Ma!”
“The next…” he trailed off, hypnotized once again by the grace of the young woman as she disappeared around the bend.
The old woman slapped the table they had set up, and laughed and laughed, fully enjoying the reaction she had just seen.
“But I wouldn’t put it past our Shen-Ma to have even more plans for that girl.” She winked at Lam, then returned to her fruit chopping.
“Do you know her name?” he asked.
“Ch’kara.”
“Ch’kara,” he whispered, smiling.
“Go on,” the old woman crowed as she poked him again. “You know you want to follow her!” She waggled her fingers in the air. “I release you to flow with the wind!”
After studying her for a moment to see if she was truly serious or not, Lam wiped his hands of the gurja juice, and slowly went after the mysterious and beautiful girl.
His steps quickened as he rounded the last corner she had turned. He felt a broad smile spread across his face. He had never had this reaction to a girl before. He had seen the other girls around this village, and although they were very beautiful, none had caused him to feel these feelings. What was different about this one? Lam knew he would soon find out. His feet made a little hop of their own accord as he came into view of this leg of the village.
The young woman was nowhere to be seen. He stood in the middle of the pathway and looked all around, receiving several curious stares from the people tending to their chores. He looked back the way he came. Perhaps she had paused, and he had passed right by her in his musings.
He saw no sign of the girl.
Disappointed, he left the pathway, allowing both his mind and his feet to wander through the trees. Something inside him wanted to talk to the young woman so much, and not only talk to her— he felt to simply be in her presence would certainly be enough. He had seen adult couples in the village, men and women who were clearly quite attached to one another. More than once, Lam had wondered how they became that way. How did they select their mate? Were they arranged to be paired off without choice? Or was the choiceless nature of the matter the intense feelings of attraction such as he was feeling now? He felt this last must be the truth. The feelings felt so good— how could they be wrong?
Lam drifted back from his thoughts and realized he had stopped walking, and was staring up at the huge, pure white cloud. He felt a surge in his chest similar to what he had felt when he saw the girl. Now this was different. He’d seen the cloud overhead every day all these months, and had never felt this.
As he contemplated this, the cloud began growing larger. What was this? He had never seen it change its size or shape before either.
After a moment, Lam realized it wasn’t growing at all, but descending! He was mesmerized as it sank lower and lower, until it came to a rest around the top of a particularly large tree so thickly that Lam could not see the treetop at all. Slowly, he stepped toward it, partly from curiosity, partly from the curious emotional pull of it.
His entire body felt as if it were buzzing with electricity. He approached the tree. He held his hand out, nearly touching the trunk, yet hesitant to go any further. Lam tilted his head to look into the branches. The urge to climb the tree and be inside the cloud was overwhelming.
The young woman, the village, his mother— all were forgotten as he grasped the lowest branch.
The moment he touched the tree, a jolt went through his system. The top, come to the top, echoed in his mind with such intensity he thought of nothing else, and began scrambling up as quickly as he could.
When his head entered the cloud, he was enveloped with a soothing and familiar sensation. Come… His climbing never slowed, until he was clinging to the barest and highest branch, just as he was in his first and earliest memories.
At first, he could see nothing but the thick whiteness all around. It occurred to him this situation would normally be frightening, yet he continued to feel warmly sedated and actually quite happy.
The clouds began to part and drift to each side. Startled, he looked down and saw his legs and feet remained solidly surrounded by cloud. He could clearly see the sky above him, but he could not see the ground below. He realized this meant no one below could see he was in the tree as well.
Lam looked to the sky again. A gasp escaped him as he realized he was no longer seeing the sky. In its place was a huge greyness. It seemed to be longer and wider than his entire village. Had the clouds returned that quickly, laden with a rainstorm ready to burst at any moment? Had he lost time again, and was now looking into the twilight sky? No, this was shiny and reflective— he could see the reflection of the treetops and himself in its hazy surface. It seemed like a metal, but did not look like the knives and farming tools the blacksmiths created from the metal of this land.
Lam did begin to feel scared now. What was this? Surely something so huge could destroy him and the entire area in one strike! What did it want?
Even as these thoughts ran panicking through his mind, the object began to change. It grew brighter, whiter. It condensed and seemed to shrink into itself, until it was nearly the size of Lam himself. Lam’s mouth dropped open as he saw the object had taken the shape of a body hovering mid-air before him.
We did not mean to cause you fear.
• EIGHT •
He was not hearing the voice with his ears. The voice was in his head, but not the way his own thoughts were in his head. The voice simply was.
The human-shaped object floated in the air in front of Lam, bobbing slightly, and glowed with such a bright light he could not look at it directly. He took the risk of holding on to the tree branch with only one hand, and held the other hand up to shield his eyes. He squinted into the glare, but could make out no features beyond its shape.
“Who are you?” Lam called.
It is not necessary to use your voice. We hear your words.
“You hear…” he trailed off.
The energy which forms your thoughts is more than sufficient for us to hear. There is no need to speak aloud with us, yet this was to be expected. If it is easier for you in your current condition, you may speak with physical sounds.
Lam was speechless for a long while. The light patiently waited.
“Who are you?” he finally asked again.
We are you. You are of us. And from us.
“F-from you?”
Yes. Though it is clear you have not been able to remember, still it remains with you. Search within yourself. See what you find. Breathe in the air. We will help.
Lam took a deep breath. He still felt calm and at ease. No fear, anxiety, or tension was in his body, yet he found no insight. He shook his head.
Silently, the light reached out the shape of an arm, and touched Lam in the center of his chest. All suddenly went dark. There was a large fire burning high nearby. He tried to turn to see what was on fire, but found he could not move. A cackling laughter brought his attention back to center just as the face of an old woman leaned close to his. The Shen-Ma. He was still underneath the Seer, that first night? Had he lost consciousness and dreamed these past months? How could that be? Lam knew he had experienced all these days. Moments with Ric’ua, weeding the field, helping the neighbors— they had all been real, he was sure of it!
“SEED!”
The blinding light was before him once again, filling all his senses. He was back at the top of the tree, struggling to catch his breath. Looking down, he saw cloud rather than crowd, and breathed a sigh of relief. This was the present moment, and not his first moment of being chopped down.
Have you found it?
He turned to the light. He knew what it wanted him to say, but did he believe it? Could it possibly be true? He had dismissed and nearly forgotten the Shen-Ma’s words as he became a part of the village community. They seemed too impossible to even entertain. Yet a floating metallic light from a cloud was very convincing evidence that it could very well be true.
“I am the seed of the stars,” he whispered.
You are.
Lam and the light silently stared at each other, if the light had eyes. It seemed perfectly willing to simply wait for him to draw his conclusions and choose his reactions. Even with the confirmation of the Shen-Ma’s words he had just received, he still felt completely at peace. In this moment, it did feel as if it could be true, whether the presence of the light was the only reason for these feelings, or if there was another factor at work he was unaware of. What would Ric’ua think? How would she react? They had never once brought up the subject of that night. Lam had been so overjoyed that his mother had accepted and embraced him, he had always been careful to never do or say anything that could jeopardize that.
Something suddenly occurred to him, and he finally broke the silence.
“This cloud,” he began. “It’s always been… you, hasn’t it?”
We have never been apart from you. From the moment you crossed the barrier, we have always been with you.
“Why do you hide in the cloud?”
The cloud is illusion. It was decided by The Remnant to disguise our presence as such, until the conditions were acceptable.
“Am I the only…”
No. The light responded before his question was fully out. All can see the cloud, but only you can see to its core. You are the one who chose this.
“I chose this?” Lam asked, bewildered.
You are of The Remnant. You were who wished to activate this transition. Not all were in agreement, yet it was decided.
“I was… what? I decided? I sent… myself?”
You are The First.
Lam shook his head. “No,” he said. “That’s not true. This is ridiculous— I must be dreaming.” He began climbing down. The light made no move or word to stop him.
He hopped to the ground and began walking quickly back toward the village, glancing up only once to see that the cloud was still low around the tree. He could see only cloud from down here. “Ridiculous,” he muttered again.
Lam burst from the tree line and was bounced off his feet to the ground. Astonished, he looked up to see a large, round figure. He had run straight into the Shen-Ma!
He was immediately embarrassed, and began scrambling to his feet, then froze. The radiant girl was standing beside the Seer. Both women were simply smiling at him.
“I-I’m so sorry!” he stammered.
“Where have you been, son of Ric’ua?” the Shen-Ma asked.
“I,” he swallowed. The presence of the young woman was having a strange effect on his body. “I was just taking a walk.”
The Shen-Ma turned to the girl and grunted a noise that sounded more like an animal than an old woman. The two then burst into giggles together. Lam merely stood still, awkwardly unsure what to do. He watched the women in wonder.
They turned and began walking away from him at a pace that he knew to be typical for the Shen-Ma. The old one paused and beckoned for him to follow.
“She has something to tell you,” said the girl before she turned as well.
Hearing the sound of her voice for the first time was more than enough to set Lam’s feet instantly in motion.
• NINE •
Lam sat down on the log next to the girl. He was not sure what to do or say, but the Shen-Ma had firmly indicated they were to sit, then disappeared into her hut. She had not returned. But Lam was thoroughly enjoying the closeness of the girl, and did not mind at all.
“I am Ch’kara,” the girl finally broke the silence with her beautiful voice.
“I know,” he said before thinking.
“Oh?”
The heat of embarrassment instantly rushed to his ears. “I, uh…” The smile on her face stopped him, and he realized she was playing with him.
“I knew you knew of me,” she giggled. “I was brought here for you.”
Ch’kara bust into giggles at the sight of his gaping mouth. He quickly shut his mouth and broke into a grin himself.
“Old Pa’cha said you are to be our next Shen-Ma.”
She looked shyly away. “That is part truth.”
“Part?” he asked, then remembered her earlier hint. “For… me.”
She snuck a look at him, then grabbed a stick and began poking the fire before them with it. Lam wasn’t sure why the Shen-Ma kept her fire going constantly, even when it was warm and sunny out. It was simply one of the quirks one did not show the disrespect of asking about. Perhaps it was a secret. The Seer did seem to have certain spells and magic others did not.
“You are free to ask anything, son of Ric’ua.” The old woman had emerged silently from her hut and come beside them. She began combining items into a small wooden bowl. Lam startled, but found his wandering mind had lost its thoughts. He had no questions, yet now felt compelled to ask something, so as not to offend his elder.
“Why do you never say my name?”
The Shen-Ma paused her preparations and turned to him, unsmiling. She looked directly in his eyes as if she were reading something there. Lam broke the gaze to glance at Ch’kara. She was still smiling broadly.
He turned back to the old woman as she whispered, “I will answer both your questions. The fire burns so that we may live. This village, these people depend on it.” She fed the flames a twig with three leaves on it, as if to demonstrate for him, or perhaps in offering to it for revealing its purpose. “At this moment you are neither Pael nor Lam.” She returned her focus to the bowl. Lam was speechless. Ch’kara silently reached over and took his hand in hers, sending tingles throughout his body. The Shen-Ma chuckled as if she saw what had just happened, though her back was turned to them.
“You were talking to Them, weren’t you, boy?”
“Them?”
“You know,” the Shen-Ma prodded, “The Clouds.”
“The Stars,” he murmured.
“Exactly.” She held the bowl directly over the fire for a moment, whispering something under her breath before dumping its contents into the blaze and leaping back, all at once. Without looking, she plopped to the end of the log beside Lam. He barely had time to scoot over and make room for her before she landed. He scooted directly against Ch’kara.
Pretending to be oblivious to what she had just caused, the Shen-Ma heaved a long sigh and gazed at the stars.
“The stars,” she mused. “Long have we
looked to the stars for our hope. It seems it should be an odd thing to place one’s hope in things so very far away, something so remote, something so separate from us. Ah, but that is the key, isn’t it? There appears to be a separation between us and the stars, but we do not feel as if there is any separation. We feel close to them. We feel we know them.
“The Ancients acknowledged this, you know. They taught that in the beginning, when only animals walked this ground, They arrived. The ones from the stars. There are many, many stories of those who came. Some tell they were actual gods with magical and mystical powers, creating the people from invisible nothingness. And there are still other stories that say the people grew on their own, over vast amounts of time— grew from the tiniest specks of life energies left behind by those from the stars. But throughout all the various interpretations, the one detail that remains constant is we came from the stars.
“There are many who cling to the thought ‘This is not our home’ with desperate abandon. For whatever hardships and difficulties they find here, they choose to believe there is something better apart from this place. Many of these people are simply attempting to avoid responsibility for their own lives, and in doing so, waste away what life they do have here, all the while pining for something else that may or may not exist.
“Yet there are those of us,” she continued, “Who believe these things for a very different reason. There are those of us who know the truth in these stories that have been passed from generation to generation. We feel it in our bones.
“Our line, our ancestors— in whatever form— began in the stars.” The Shen-Ma shifted sideways, granting Lam and Ch’kara an opportunity to move apart, which they did not take.
“Each and every one of us is not directly from the stars, you understand, but we are each from the stars in the way of our beginnings.” She grew silent, and dropped her eyes from the sky to the fire. Lam and Ch’kara waited patiently, perfectly content being close to each other, as if they had always been this way.
Root (Energy Anthology) Page 3