by Ruby Carter
“Zara, just tell me. I need to know how bad it got.” I growl at her as my fists are clenched so tight, I know I might break a knuckle or a finger. “She…she cut herself on her thighs and she bled quite a lot, all because she didn’t want to have fat thighs, and she believed if she cut it out as he had made her believe she was ugly. She just wanted the man she fell in love with back. She thought if she could do that, then everything would be ok. When I found her on the floor bleeding out with the scissors in her hand still, I broke down for my best friend.” Zara sits there with her head on her arms, crying her heart out.
But all I can see is red, red, fucking RED! “I AM GONNA KILL HIM, I SWEAR TO GOD! I AM GONNA TEAR HIM UP AND CUT HIM! She is fucking beautiful and her curves… How can she believe she is anything but gorgeous?” I am still pacing and shaking from anger. I end up punching Jake’s kitchen door so hard it cracks. My breathing becomes increasingly ragged.
“Axe, she believes it. When someone keeps telling you that you are fat, ugly or whatever constantly, you start to believe it. She stills believes some of that. He mentally abused her through their entire relationship.”
I storm out of the house and get into my truck and drive so fast I skid off of Jake’s driveway, blowing a dirt cloud after me and my truck. I ring Flex on the way to the clubhouse, “Flex, I am on the way back to the clubhouse. Call every member in. We are having emergency church as soon as I get there.” I hang up the phone on him. I am pissed and I don’t want small talk. I need to talk to the club. I need to get to Dani and fast.
This is all my fucking fault.
~ Chapter 14 Dani ~
Darkness.
Darkness, that is all I can see but I can’t even open my eyes. I can’t open my mouth. It feels like something is holding it closed, and my limbs feel numb and like a dead weight. What this is a strange dream.
Then darkness comes again.
The next thing I feel like I am being lifted in the air. But all I can see is darkness and my body feels heavy. I feel so weak. I try with all my might to move my arm to see if I can touch my face, but my arms won’t move. Then the darkness pulls me in again. I try to shout out “no” to it, as I want to be able to see again. What is happening to me?
I can feel something wet on my cheek, neck, and chest. Is this another dream? I try again to open my eyes but I can’t. I can only open one of my eyes slightly, like the lid is heavy. It’s still dark, but in the far corner, I see a tiny bit of light.
Oh fucking hell, what is that god awful smell? It hits me. It smells like dead meat stench and bleach. Oh my god, my stomach rolls. I’m going to be sick but I can’t move my head to the side. Something is stopping me. Then I look down to my right and see Paul! Paul is kissing my chest. Oh no… I feel the saliva gathering inside of my mouth and there is no way of stopping it. I can feel the burn of the acid coming up as I projectile vomit down my green cami, right over Paul’s head.
“You fucking bitch. I was being nice to you and then you decide to be sick on me! Don’t you dare disrespect me like that!” He bellows at me with bright red eyes and his pupils are so big, they look pure black. It looks like he has being doing drugs or something. SMACK! He slaps me so hard across my cheek. I can’t seem to focus on something for too long, as I start to feel dizzy and light headed.
“ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME, DANIELLE?!” he is getting angrier as he proceeds to stare at me. I can’t respond, as the dead meat smell is making me feel nauseous. He then swings at me and busts my lip and I instantly get blood in my mouth. “You stupid bitch. You belong to me! Don’t forget that!”
I am grateful when the darkness finds me again and I pass out.
I wake up to Paul’s muffled voice, “Can you hear me, Danielle? I said this body is mine, even if you weigh too much. If I can’t have you, then no one will.” I start coming around to see him ripping my cami off of me and exposing me in my strapless bra. I can’t move my arms. They feel dead, as they are tied behind my back so tightly.
Oh dear god, please don’t let him touch me!
“P-P-Paul, why are you doing this? Can you please just let me go so we can talk about this?” I want to stall him in any way possible. If I can get him to talk, maybe he will let me go…
“Dani, you are mine. You always will be and I am going to make sure you never forget that. So whatever little game you cooked up in that stupid little head of yours stop it! It’s not going to work.”
“I’m not, Paul. Please just untie my arms. I can’t feel them, and we can sit down and try and talk about it. Yeah, you don’t have to result to violence,” I say with a sickly fake smile on my face, as my heart is beating so hard, I swear to god, he can hear it or see it beating through my chest.
He stares at me for a long while like he is contemplating it. “Ok, Danielle. As long as you don’t do anything stupid or get me angry,” he responds with a dirty, smug look on his face. I can’t focus on it, but he has a tattoo on his neck that’s new. He turns me around to untie me and my arms from the radiator. My arms feel like lead. Heavy, tingly, and I slowly start to shake the blood back into them. How the fuck am I going to get out of here alive?
“Right. Let’s talk…” I don’t let him say anything else as I head-butt him with the back of my head and hear his nose crunching. “YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!” He grabs a hold of me as I am trying to kick him and scratch him with all my might, but nothing is working and my legs and arms are growing tired.
He then grabs me, throwing me on the ground. I land on something hard on my right butt cheek. What’s that? I don’t get to feel for it, as he starts punching me in the ribs. I am winded. He grabs my shoulders and pulls, throwing my head, SMACK! Against the radiator I was tied to. SMACK SMACK!
My vision starts to blur and he has a look of a crazed animal in his eyes. “YOU’RE MINE, DANIELLE. YOU WILL SEE! I AM GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOU WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP. YOU’RE MINE, YOU BITCH!”
SMACK SMACK, then nothing but darkness again…
~ Chapter 15 Axe ~
“Brains, can you track Dani’s phone? It wasn’t in the apartment and I am hoping to dear god she has it with her, “I growl out to him as I try to get my anger in check. It’s not my men’s faults this shit is on me… If only I was on time, I could have stopped this messed up shit.
We should have been sitting down, watching the sun setting over the town at one of my favorite spots Dad used to take me when he was prez. “On it, boss. Shouldn’t take too long, as long as he hasn’t taken her overseas…”His words die on his lips as I give him my wide eyed, pissed off glare. “This isn’t the fucking time for joking around, Brains. Just get it fucking sorted, ok?”
“So, are we all in vote? Once we get Dani back, she stays under our protection?” A unanimous vote of “ayes” goes around the table. I look to Bear and Dagger. “We all ready to go when we get the word from Brains? We got enough ammo? I am gonna gut him!”
“Yeah, boss. We are ready to go as soon as we know where. We all got your back, boss. You know that. I know you haven’t claimed her, but we look out for the innocent and Dani is as innocent as it gets.”
I nod in thanks to Bear for saying that. No, I haven’t claimed her and I know I can’t. She doesn’t deserve to be mixed up in this fucked up world.
“YO, BOSS! I HAVE LOCATED HER! SHE IS IN A…AN OLD ABBATOIR DOWN NEAR NEWPORT IN ARKANSAS! I’VE GOT THE COORDINATES! She has her phone with her.” Brains shouts out from the hall, as he comes barging into the room with tracking device in one hand and his lid in the other.
“FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING WITH HER IN A MOTHER FUCKING ABBATOIR?!! JESUS H. CHRIST! Right, men. Get your shit together! This ride is going to take over 2 hours. There will be no piss stops along the way!”
As we pull up 5 minutes from the old abattoir, we all get off of our bikes, out of my truck, and walk slowly and stealthy through the bush area. As we see the old abattoir coming up on us, we can see two look outs at the front of the build
ing and I can make out a blacked out VW van. “Flex, you stay with me, Dagger, and Brains. Bear, you go with the rest of the club to scope out and see if there are any more men around the other side. Meet back here in 10,” I try and say quietly, not to draw attention to all of us.
“Have you still got a signal of Dani’s phone, Brains? Is it still on?”
“Yeah, boss. It’s still on. It’s pinpointed to the back end of the building.” Brains shows me the tracking device, but it’s all blobs and numbers. I feel sick with fear of what the fuck I am going to find in that goddamn building. I am trying to get a hold of myself. I begin cracking my knuckles and rolling my shoulders to let some of the tension out.
“Boss, there are another two around the side. I reckon we can distract them if some of us make a racket on the opposite side of the building that Dani is on so we have some leeway to get inside. What d’ya think?” Bear says to me. I think it’s the best shot we have. I just want to get to Dani.
“Yeah bud. Get it done. I will give you the signal, as I want to be closer to where Dani is so no time is wasted. Shoot first, ok, men!”
I give Bear a flash of light from my phone over the bush, as me, Flex, Dagger, and Brains are ready to burst this fucking emergency exit door down. I think I hear Bear shooting in the distance for his distraction.
When we shoot this emergency exit lock off, I push through and run straight down the corner where I smell the stench of what can only be described as death. I scan the dark room for anything. As I move closer into the room, what I see stops me in my tracks. It’s like I can’t breathe. As much as I’m trying, I can’t move my fucking feet from the spot. It’s like the world is rushing by as I see Dagger and Flex at the dirty, flea ridden bed.
The bed where I can see Dani spread-eagled nothing but her bra and pants on, and they are both covered in some dark stuff.
“Boss, for fuck sake, help your girl snap out of it!” as Flex shakes me. “Come on, boss. Sooner we help her, sooner we can get her back to Doc.”
I slowly walk over to her and you can hardly recognize her except for her long brunette hair that is partly stuck to her face from sweat and the other half looks like it’s been pulled in every which way by that sicko. She has cuts on her bottom lip, black swollen eyes, and cuts on her thighs that clearly have been reopened by that fucking asshole. I am going to fucking gut him from head to toe. I realize the hair that is stuck to her head isn’t plastered by sweat. It’s dried blood.
As we untie her from the bed, I pull my shirt off my back and put it over Dani’s small, curvy body as I walk out with her tucked in my big arms, heading towards my truck. I tell Flex and Dagger to “round the boys up and head back to the clubhouse. I want an update in the morning at church. But first, I need to get Dani sorted by Doc.” I say to them with a flat voice, and my vein popping in my neck. I am so angry at the whole fucking world but even more so at myself.
This is on my head. I should have gotten to her apartment on time. FUCK! Dani is in this state because of me. She’s never going to forgive me and I wouldn’t blame her.
I need to stay away from her to protect her. It’s the only way I know she can be safe.
~ Chapter 16 Dani ~
All I can see is darkness again.
For god sake, I try again to peel my eyes open. Nope, not working. My whole body feels like it’s been run over by an oil tanker. It feels so heavy. I decide I am best to just lie here and sleep.
I try to wake up, as I feel something wet and sting inducing being wiped over my lip and forehead. I can smell a familiar scent, but can’t place it. I lay there, as my eyes still don’t want to wake up, then I can feel something being lifted off my legs, like a sheet. Then I can feel a bandage, I assume, being peeled off my thighs and something wet being placed that stings over my legs. Arggghhh that kills. I must be in hospital.
Someone is looking at my thighs.
Fuck no. Fuck, fuck, no one can look at them. They will see...
I bolt up in bed and open my eyes to see an older man between my legs with cotton wool and fluid in his other hand. “AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!” I scream the whole room down, and then I start kicking at the man who looks even more shocked than I am. “GET THE FUCK OFF ME! DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!”
I look around to see that I am indeed not in hospital but someone’s bedroom. As I hurry to cover myself over with the blanket, the door bursts open and Axe is standing there in the room. Axe is here with what looks like a few days worth of stubble with a haggard look on his face. His eyes are red and he has a bottle of beer in his hand.
I relax a little as he walks into room and sits down the end of the bed. “It’s ok, Doc. Leave us for a while. Cheers, brother,” he says to the older man with silvery-grey, long hair that is plaited down his back.
“Sure thang, boss.”
“Do you remember what happened to you, Dani?” he asks me, but he won’t look at me. He’s staring down at his hands. One is bloodied and swollen, the other holding his beer.
“I … I remember Paul coming to the apartment and him knocking me out, then waking up in a slaughterhouse, I assume. Then I woke up here, Axe, just a minute ago. How did I get here, Axe?”
He lets out a big sigh and bows his head, grabbing the back of his head with his swollen hand. “I tracked your phone down… Well, Brains did. You must have forgotten you had it in your back pocket of your jeans. All that matters is that I got there in time, Dani,” he says with a hint of guilt in his voice, like he thinks that it’s his fault, but why?
I look down to see I am wearing a ‘Devil’s Reapers MC’ t-shirt and realize I have no bra and panties on. “Where are my clothes, Axe? My phone?” I ask with nervousness in my voice, as I am biting my lip, then wince as I realize I have a split lip.
“Your clothes were… they weren’t worth saving, so I chucked them, and your phone is on the side, fully charged. You might want to give Zara and Jake a ring. I have updated them the past few days.”
“Wait, a few days? I have been out of it that long? Are you serious? Jesus, Zara’s probably going ape. Can she come visit me, as I am clearly not going anywhere soon? I feel too weak to move,” I ask, rubbing my eagle tattoo on my wrist.
“Yeah, course you can. Plus Doc says you should only get up to go to the loo. That’s it. You lost a lot of blood.” He nods to my legs and points at my head. He still won’t look at me properly. Have I done something? Wait, he nodded towards my legs… Shit, he’s seen my fuckin’ legs. I bet he thinks I’m a freak. But I don’t get what he means about losing blood from my legs…
He disturbs my thoughts …“Well, I will catch you later, Dani. Rest up, ok?” He gets up and walks to the door, but I don’t let him get far. “Axe, why don’t you watch a film with me? You don’t have to go yet.” I ask with slight neediness in my voice. I just want someone I know around me and this is clearly Axe’s room. As it says on the door: ‘PRESIDENT’.
“I can’t, Dani. I am too busy to watch a film. I got to go talk to Doc about getting you some painkillers, ok? I will get Sue to bring you some food. Anything you want or don’t like?”
He’s too busy. What a dickhead. He can see clearly I am in pain. “No, I will eat whatever. See ya around, Axe.” He walks out of the room and shuts it. The fucking dickhead, leaving me on my own... Maybe I sounded and acted like a little needy brat but I have just gone through a kidnapping. The first thing I do is pull the covers down and look at my thighs. There, just below, are angry, red, deep cuts below my old scars on both of my legs. I run my fingertip over them both.
Fuck! He must have done this. It wasn’t me this time. That sick and twisted animal!
Paul did this.
~ Chapter 17 Axe ~
Fuckin’ hell. When I was sat at the bar with my bottle of beer in hand and I heard her blood-curdling scream from my room, my blood ran cold with dread. I knew, in the back of my head, Doc was in there, cleaning her up and checking on her, but I didn’t want her to wake up scared in a place she
doesn’t know or with a person she doesn’t know. I ran to my room as fast as I could to see her.
Dani, she was finally awake. Like a sleeping beauty.
I was a complete and utter dickhead, leaving her like that. I don’t have time to watch a film, but I know I can’t. It’s best I stay away from her. She doesn’t need to be mixed up in my life. I will protect her, but that’s as far as it can go.
“You all ready for church? Church in 2 minutes. No excuses!” I bellow at to the main room.
I sit at the top of the table with Flex and Bear either side of me, with the rest of the club sitting around the table with our emblem flag behind my chair, hanging on the wall.
I bring down the gavel over the wood of the table to start church. “First thing is Dani. As you will know what went down in Newport wasn’t good, but at least we have a lead who is in our basement. He won’t spill his guts as to why he is helping Dani’s psycho ex. Bear and Dagger, give him a little helping hand to find info about him. Do anything you can to get info out of him, if he doesn’t end him. Brains, I want you to arrange to put more cameras up and tighten the security around the compound.” “Is everyone still agreed with having Dani under our protection?” I ask all my men, not like they have a fucking choice in the matter as my decision can overrule there’s.