Once he was gone Deck pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear, “I want to know the things he said to you when no one was around to hear them.” I shook my head then looked up into the eyes of the man I absolutely loved and adored.
“No, this night is about finishing this, and letting it all go. We’ll not drag it up again once they leave this stage.” He didn’t seemed convinced by my words, and I just had to hope that he would honor what I wanted in this case and leave it be. I had no doubt if Deck, my father, or brother knew what PeeWee had said to me over the years the man probably wouldn’t walk away from the confrontation, or possibly not be able to walk at all ever again.
“Are you sure you want to keep going?” He finally asked as he glanced around the room at all the people who were enraptured with the display we were making up here.
“I’m sure,” I told him quietly, and once again he backed off. I glanced out into the crowd looking for the person I planned to call up next. I didn’t see him right away, but then I noticed his wife had moved and she was standing in the corner being comforted by the man in question. “Next up is your President, Merc,” I stated quickly before I could change my mind and direction. I couldn’t shelter his wife from the hurt this was causing her. She had already known most of it anyway, and felt much like Lucy over the years, that she couldn’t change their minds for them.
Merc walked his wife back over to the chair she had vacated earlier, the one sitting right beside Momma-Luce, and once she was comfortably back in her spot he hopped up on the stage with the grace and physical command of a much younger man. He came straight to me, tipped his head at his son, and then turned to face the members of his club. “Before Ever starts in on me, I want this club to know that I already understand how badly I’ve failed her. I saw what was happening early on, and I turned a blind eye. At first, I thought it wasn’t my place, and it was something Double-D needed to work out with the men since it was his kid. I forgot we’re a family though, and I was leading this family for most of it. I was certainly leading this family when my own son caused undo drama for Ever, and I did nothing to help her, support her, or derail the teenage drama that should have never touched the insides of this club to begin with. I take full responsibility for that, because as leader, I should have nipped this shit in the bud long ago, and there is no good reason why I didn’t. It just all seemed beneath my position. Through watching Ever persevere and seeing how strong she has had to be I’ve come to realize that nothing is beneath my position. She was just as much my responsibility, because she didn’t just belong to the Brothers family. She belonged to this club. We all failed her, and that is why we’re here tonight. In part to make amends for our wrong doing, but also to learn and heal so we don’t repeat our mistakes in the future.” He looked back at me and added, “No one affiliated with this club is beyond its reach.” He stepped back then and tipped his head to me indicating it was my turn to speak now.
“Merc already has the gist of his tattoo. He is a fierce protector, but only of what he thinks of as his to protect.” Merc’s shoulders slumped as I mentioned this and he moved to take his shirt off so that everyone could see what I had inked on his skin. Once his shirt was off the image was clear to see hovering over his chest on his upper right pec. The camera zoomed in and the image cleared up on the screen behind us. I choose the metaphor for this one, because Merc was a known fisherman. If that man got away from the club it was to a body of water with a fishing pole in his hands, so I thought it would ease the blow of his message a bit to hand him an image he could relate to.
A prominent boulder stood proud, mid-stream, forcing the water to run around it forming an almost tranquil, still pond just in front. “Merc, you’re the boulder, making life easier for the fish in your pond,” I told him with a wink that got a few chuckles from the people in the crowd who might think he was usually the one making everyone’s life harder. Loads of little fish swam in the pond. Three stayed closest to the boulder and upon closer inspection they bore the Ace of Hearts insignia in their scales. The others in the pond bore the Ace of Diamonds, and were still content and protected, even though they swam a little further out. I pointed all this out, and everyone could tell I meant the hearts to be his wife and children while the diamonds were his club brothers.
“There’s a chink in the boulder though, a weak spot, and it lets in this rush of water over here.” Once I drew attention to it the prospect in charge of the camera made certain to zoom in there. Then he was able to pick up the steady current pushing one unfortunate fish away from all the others. That fish was marked with an Ace of Spades. It was struggling, trying to swim upstream back to the other fish, but clearly unable to get there. She didn’t fall under the blanket of his protection, and so she was swept away, and removed from the others. “I don’t think I need to explain what this signifies since Merc basically did that before he revealed the tattoo,” I stated, and while at first I thought it meant he cheated and already took a peek, watching him take in the details of his tattoo made me rethink that.
Merc was shaking when he walked away, and went to go sit in the chair his wife occupied. I watched as he went down and scooped her up, depositing her back on his lap once he sat down. He tucked his head into her neck and I watched as his shoulders shook behind her. Then I looked away and before Deck could come offer me an out once more I called Jay up. Might as well finish up with this family while they were in the midst of dealing with one member being shamed for his apathy.
Jay took off his kutte, and as Crow had done before him, he entrusted it to Deck while he removed his long sleeve shirt and pushed his arm forward so the camera could pick up what was inked there. Jay’s was the simplest tattoo I had done, which I knew had confused him when it took the shortest amount of time to ink. It was a simple Aces of Hearts playing card and in the middle of it there was script that read:
Forgiveness is divine as it’s born of another’s sorrow.
Look beneath the surface to heal everyone’s tomorrow.
Jay appeared puzzled by his tattoo, but this one was different. This one was done purposely so that when he figured it out he would live a better life. His surface dwelling had caused me the most heartache. If he’d only looked past the skin deep level and ever understood anything about me, he would have known the truth behind the allegations. Until he was willing to stop being a shallow bastard he was doomed to keep needing forgiveness, and never having a present moment without needing to heal it.
He glanced over at me, question in his eyes, and I just shook my head. “I don’t really need to say anything, because everyone here knows what happened. When you figure out the tattoo, maybe things won’t continue to be so mucked up for you all the time.” With that I turned and glanced out in the crowd looking for whom I was going to call up next.
“That’s it?” Jay asked. I nodded and watched as he glanced at his brother who only shrugged at him.
“She wants you to figure it out on your own, brother,” Deck informed as J-Bird moved to get off the stage looking even more forlorn than when he’d climbed up here with me. I wished I could give him more peace of mind, but it wasn’t for me to replace what he’d freely given away.
“Toby,” I called, ignoring the proper etiquette of calling him by his road name while in the clubhouse. He would understand why I did it that way, even if everyone else thought me disrespectful. When he hopped up on stage he didn’t hesitate, and pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly, and whispering into my ear. “I love you, always have.”
“I know,” I whispered back. Toby let me go and handed over his kutte to Deck as the others before him had done. Then he whipped his shirt off and flung it out into the audience where one of the guys snatched it out of the air and whirled it around like a cowboy with a lasso, effectively giving everyone a solid laugh and breaking the too-thick tension in the room temporarily. Even I had to laugh at the antics of these guys sometimes.
Once his shirt was off, Toby spun around and show
ed his back off for the camera. There, was one of the saddest images I had rendered on skin thus far. I supposed it felt that way, because I once hero-worshipped my older brother, and never thought he could hurt me the way he did. As the camera panned to his back a few gasps rang out, one was definitely from Momma-Luce.
In the middle of the image stood a boy with his back facing outward. He was wearing a red superhero cape while observing the road ahead. One path looked dark and dangerous with a sign showing 3 balloons were necessary to travel it. The other looked sunny and safe, but only two balloons were on its sign. The little boy was holding three balloons that were shaped like Aces of Hearts cards in one hand. One of the three balloons had been popped and in the other hand there was a shiny silver pin. He sacrificed the one balloon in order to take the easier path with the others.
Toby was watching as the tattoo was revealed and the camera zoomed in different details on. I saw his shoulders begin to shake as he realized what the balloons stood for – or rather whom they stood for – and how I really felt about his part in everything. I was the sacrifice for an easier way in life for him even though he was supposed to be my hero. He turned to me with tears filling his eyes as his shoulders continued to shake from the effort he was using to keep those tears from rolling down his face.
“Ever,” his husky voice, thick with emotion, broke on my name. “I’m so ashamed,” he stated, and then he walked away with his head down, unable to hold back the tears any longer. I had to swipe away my own tears as I watched him move to the back of the room where he faced the wall in an attempt to get himself back under control without everyone having to see. My father was there, his arm wrapped around my brother’s shoulder, offering comfort and glancing back worriedly at the stage, because now he knew the kind of pain that I’d etched on his skin too. It was going to hurt more than he’d been envisioning.
I gave them a moment as Deck brought me some tissue and a drink. He had taken Toby’s kutte down to Momma-Luce since he’d walked away without it when he left the stage. People were speaking in hushed whispers from their seats below us, and I couldn’t look out at any of them, because I just knew they were blaming me for the torment they saw me putting their brothers through. Hell, I was blaming me. I never wanted to hurt another person the way they’d hurt me. I just wanted them to see the reminder of what they’d done so they would be careful with the hearts of others in the future.
Before long, my father joined us up on the stage. He hadn’t needed to wait for me to call him since he was the last of the six that were inked. When he got up there he wasted no time taking his kutte off, but instead of handing it to Deck, he turned to place it in my hands. I just stared at it a moment before he spoke.
“Not that I don’t trust my brother, but I think it’s necessary for you to know that I trust you too, baby girl. I would prefer you be the one to handle my kutte.” I took the leather vest reverently into my hands. It was probably the only time since I had come to live with him that I’d touched it for longer than a it took to brush against it before he moved away from me. Once I had his kutte held safely in my arms my father removed his shirt too, and turned his back to the crowd quickly so that the camera could focus in on his tattoo and reveal what I had inked there. His movements were quick and jerky, and normally I’d think he was just trying to rush the process, but I could see his hands shaking, so I knew he was just nervous and needed to get it done.
I watched my father’s face, visible to me only in profile, as he took in the image that had been inked on his back. He didn’t need an explanation. I didn’t think he would. It was pretty self-explanatory. Unlike my brother, he didn’t attempt to hold back at all. He let go of his emotion and stood there while waiting for me to say something. There wasn’t really anything to say. He was the only one that mattered, and he got it.
The image on his back was of a giant Acacia Tree off in the distance. A proud lion and his mate were walking side by side headed toward the tree of life. On either side of them was a cub, one clearly male and the other a female. They all looked forward toward that tree with their backs proudly displayed to the person viewing the ink. In the foreground, closer than all the rest was a lone cub looking sad and dejected nursing a wound. The wound looked like the heart from the deck of cards that had been featured in all the tattoos, and it was placed in the center of the cub’s chest. The red ink only filled up about a quarter of the heart as the rest had dripped out onto the ground at the cub’s paws. She was forgotten there as the family carried on with their lives.
A female voice gasped out, “Ever!” I turned to see Anna standing there with tears dripping down her face. She glanced around and looked completely stricken, as the faces around her seemed to convey pity. Whether it was pity for me, and how I felt my family saw and treated me, or for my sister having been so clueless I didn’t know. Either way, it caused Anna to run from the room. Lucy stood, looking torn about which daughter needed her the most. I nodded to her to follow Anna, and she did. My father came over and swooped me up into a crushing hug.
“You should have never had to bleed out because of me. This should have never happened. I’m so goddamn sorry, Ever. I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating how sorry he was as the people who had been there to bare witness to this event began to stand, thinking everything was done.
“Wait,” I called out loudly. “There’s one more before we’re finished here.” I saw the puzzled looks, because everyone knew I had only inked six of the brothers. I eased my dad back from me, and handed him his kutte before I removed my cardigan and passed it to Deck. As I turned around and showed the room my back I heard the gasps, and a couple cries of “oh my God,” ring out through the room. My tattoo was probably the most in your face of them all, as it should be, because it was my pain etched on my body for everyone to see. I had honestly thought about not doing any of the other six tattoos, and instead just let them just see mine, but then I figured it would be easier to overlook the message if they didn’t have to witness it on their own skin.
Across my upper back were the six men who I had tattooed. They all had their backs to the viewer and their kuttes were clearly visible, marking them as Aces High MC members. If people looked closely at the tattoo, they could pick out each individual member of the club who had just showed off their own tattoos. In the foreground, on my lower back was a little girl standing in a puddle that rippled out beyond her, ending at the booted feet of the men standing there. In the furthest ripple of water the words, ‘the other princess’ were written as if they had been a part of the water itself. The little girl’s face was in profile, showing that she was crying, and her tears had been the source of the puddle she was standing in. On the chest of her shirt that only showed in the reflection of the tear puddle was an Ace of Hearts playing card, but the hearts were melting off of it with the tears that drip down from the girl’s face.
“I don’t think I need to explain this one either,” I stated quietly. The room was so still that I almost could have sworn they could all hear my heart hammering away at my chest. Lucy ran up on the stage and pulled me into her arms. I wondered briefly where my sister had gone until I saw her standing at the back of the room with my brother’s arms wrapped around her. It was good that he was caring for her since Lucy had chosen to come hug me.
“Baby girl, what did I let them do to you?” She murmured in my ear and pulled me even tighter to her body until Deck moved in, taking his kutte off, and pulling his shirt over his head. Then he gently slid Lucy away from me so that he could cover me up with his shirt. Instead of sliding his kutte back on his body, like I thought he would, he handed it to me. Lucy stepped back, realizing this was a moment she shouldn’t be in the middle of. Deck just looked down at me as he held his kutte out.
“What are you doing?” I finally asked.
“I’m giving you the choice. You can take it, toss it aside, and I’ll be done here.” He paused, looking around the room full of people who had been his family since birth. “
You can do that, and I will walk out the door with you, because you are the most important thing in my life.” I waited a moment for him to continue with the ‘or’ part of his speech. When he didn’t, I had to ask.
“Is there another option?” My fingers were twisted into the thick leather of his kutte that had been warmed by his body. The scent of leather and the sea wafted up to me as I pulled it closer to my body, to my heart. Deck nodded his head, and I knew what the other choice was. I thought of Zeke in that moment. I remembered the story of his mother, and how her inability to move forward cost her everything. It cost her family everything too. I glanced around at everyone in the clubhouse, many of whom where watching this scene play out. I saw no judgment in their eyes, for once. They would stand by whatever decision I made here tonight.
These were the people I had wanted to love me. These were the people who I was constantly trying to be a better person for. I knew we had a long way to go before I could trust them, but they already had my heart. I’d only been waiting for them to want me to have theirs in return. They had Deck, and it was obvious they all loved him. Maybe this time would be different, because he’d been there for me, making sure his club did right by me. That was what had been missing before. I didn’t have a club member in my corner telling them to act right, telling them I deserved respect. Now I did, and I could already see the change in the saddened faces around me. They finally understood. I finally had someone there to help make them understand. Deck had his family here, doing this because of their love for him. I couldn’t take that away from him. I couldn’t lose him either. So, I did what I had to do, and I held his kutte out toward him so that he could slip his arms back into the holes. So that he could put his family at his back where they belonged.
The Other Princess Page 22