by Xavier Neal
The grump is instant. “I’ve got Brewster so far up my ass when she sneezes it’s coming out of my mouth.”
“Vívido.”
“Does that mean vivid?”
“Si.”
A smile creeps to his face. “See. My kids aren’t the only one learning Español.”
I quickly catch my giggle with my free hand.
His attention drifts back to the television. “What the hell are we watching?”
“Madagascar.”
“Why have I never seen this?”
“How have you never seen this? Sage is obsessed with the hippo.”
He frowns. “Last time I heard she was obsessed with Minions and My Little Pony.”
“The Pony craze is unfortunately still here, however, Minions are out. Sassy Hippo is in.”
Holden lets out a defeated sigh.
“Welcome to having a four-year-old girl. They’re very fickle.”
After rolling his eyes, he looks at me again. “It’s just gonna get worse the older she gets, isn’t it?”
“Si.”
“Fuck…”
“Tell me about it. I watched Mia try on twelve homecoming dresses alone today, all of which at some point in the two hours we were shopping, were ‘must haves’.”
He grumbles, “She’s never going to homecoming.”
“Or prom?”
“Fuck no.”
“And not dating before she’s 35, right?”
His eyebrows dart down. “She can date after I’m dead.”
Another chuckle is grabbed from me, but this time Holden joins in. “You know, all fathers get this way about their little girls. It’s what moms are there for. To help keep the balance.”
There’s a small sting of sadness in his expression, which instantly shifts regret onto mine.
I rush to correct my callous comment when he sighs, “Or in her case, you.”
My lips press together uncertain of how to respond.
“Hopefully, she’ll always have you…”
He has to know I can’t be the nanny forever. Eventually, they won’t need me. Eventually, they’ll be old enough to govern themselves while he’s out saving lives from being kidnapped or whatever it is he does. Eventually…he’ll move on. I hope he learns to love again…even if it’s not with me.
The two of us return to watching the movie without another word. A little after midway, I dose off, too comfortable with the warmth radiating from Sage’s body as well as her father’s. By the time I begin to stir, the two of them are completely gone, and the menu options have popped up onto the screen requesting my next choice.
I slightly yawn, reach for the remote on the nightstand, and prepare to turn it off when Holden unexpectedly walks back into the room. This time he shuts the door behind him, locking it in the process. Curiosity cracks my jaw open yet I can’t seem to fathom the question I want to ask.
Maybe I’m tired of being rejected.
Maybe I’m tired of being the one to beg for more.
Maybe I should figure out a way to fall out of love with a man who will probably never return the sentiment.
Holden’s actions progress with precision as he silently slithers underneath the sheets. The thrumming of my heartbeat reaches deafening levels only seconds prior to his lips pressing firmly against mine. My mouth parts on a soft moan and his tongue wastes no time entrancing mine with every feverish trace. His solid frame shifts itself on top of me causing my arms to wind around his neck in hopes of keeping him anchored in place.
Anchored to this moment.
To me.
I grind my body against his, igniting a low grumble in the back of his throat. Like I feared, he pulls his lips from mine and ceases further movement.
And so the routine retreat begins…
Irritation and sexual frustration collide, launching my mouth open to chew him out when the feeling of his fingertips gripping the waistband on my shorts shuts it. Without speaking, I lift my body upward and assist in the process of removing them. My legs effortlessly spread wider to accommodate his frame and Holden doesn’t hesitate to take the opportunity. His lips descend back to mine while the hand not helping keep himself propped up busies itself below the sheets. The faint sound of a zipper falling hits my ears and I clutch onto his dress shirt covered biceps to brace for impact.
Holden’s cock pierces through the slick heat like its returning home instead of discovering new territory. He groans viciously, grabbing my leg for leverage. I gasp against his mouth at the enticing invasion and a smirk flitters onto his lips. Rush after rush of wetness attempts to drown his dick, but the action seems to make it swell more.
Holy shit, how is that fucking possible?
With his eyes planted in mine, he drags himself out to the tip before pushing himself back to the hilt.
My pussy clenches down at the same time my lungs burn for reprieve during the demonstration of his power.
His claim.
“Mas…”
“More?”
“Si.” I brazenly beg, “More…I need more…”
He lowers his lips to the side of my neck where he nips as his cock begins a tenacious thrusting. The harsh heat of his breath pales in comparison to the harshness of his movements. Holden’s dick dives again and again, every push reasserting his earlier proclamation over ownership of my body. My pussy does its best to process not only the new limits it’s being stretched to, but the delicious difference bareness makes.
As if wired into my thoughts, Holden’s lips bump against my ear to state, “I know you’re clean. I’ve seen your records…”
That doesn’t surprise me.
Or scare me.
His teeth latch onto my earlobe and my body arches upward in warning it’s too overwhelmed. He takes the cue to capitalize on the situation by increasing his speed, receiving shallow whimpers in return. Each time my mouth moves to cry out, Holden captures it, sucking the sounds straight out of me and into him. The cadence of his heart beat in sync with mine is hypnotic. The faster it becomes, the more intoxicated I find myself feeling. With the weight of his body providing pleasing pressure, his cock knocking against my g-spot, and his tongue mercilessly overpowering mine, I can’t stop myself from collapsing underneath the delicious dominance consuming me.
Breathlessly, I whimper, “Viniendo. Oh my God, viniendo!”
He growls at the declaration as much as the use of a language he loves hearing me speak.
My pussy pulsates profusely, bathing his cock in gratitude, in appreciation, in devotion. His thrusting continues for only a moment more before it falters and blazing bursts blast inside of me. Our orgasms collide and a unified moan is extorted from the both of us.
I dig my nails further into his biceps at the same time his cut the side of my bare thigh. Together we shut our eyes, shudder, and surrender to something we should’ve months ago.
Years ago.
This is just the beginning.
Or at least I hope like hell it is.
I close the clasp on my watch at the same time I snap, “Do you know how much dick I had to suck to get tomorrow night off?”
Pax hums unimpressed. “You mean how much dick you had to prove was being sucked around the office to get you the night off?”
Cockily I chuckle, “Same shit.”
“Far from the fucking same, bro,” Pax joins in the laughter.
“Shut the fuck up and just say you’ll be here.” Tugging my black long sleeve down over my wrist, I bite, “We haven’t seen you since your birthday.”
Brunch was the only part I could get away for. I had to leave in a haste because the nanny at the time managed to let Sage wander off by herself to chase the ice cream man. Thankfully she was grabbed by Scott’s mother and kept her at their house a couple doors down, until I arrived.
“I’d be a bit more worried if I couldn’t remotely keep tabs on you. Speaking of which, do you ever clear your porn history?”
It’s a surprise his co
mputer nor his dick have a virus. He’s always been into an array of kinky shit with a compilation of equally kinky women. Out of the four of us, my money bounces back and forth between him and Wyatt on who is most likely to end up with an STD named after them.
“Stop stalking me!”
I roll my eyes.
“You gotta cut that shit out.”
He should be grateful it hasn’t reached the level it would’ve in the past. Meena’s been occupying all my extra time. I haven’t had this much fucking sex since Beth and I first started dating. Unlike that, which mostly occurred between my hits of the blunt and whatever combination of various shit she swore would help take her to ‘enlightenment’, we’re always sober and it never feels like we get enough of each other. She came four times last night, and I still wanted to keep going. Had the sound of Lynk’s angry morning stomps not started we might’ve gotten caught, which is the last thing I want. After we finally hooked up during Sage’s nap time two weeks ago, we agreed anything that happened between us would be out of sight from little eyes. No kisses. No holding hands. No glances that would so much as imply she is anything other than their nanny. Like the god send she is, she understood completely my need to keep their stability intact and then stuck my dick between her lips to suck out the last bit of reluctance I had about our situation.
Hitting 1 has never felt so fucking good.
“Look,” Pax promptly clears his throat, “I know I’ve been a little distant-”
“No Mars is fucking distant, bro. You’re like Pluto. You’re so far out there we’ve revoked your planet status and are removing you from the textbooks.”
He grouses, “Space shit. Really?”
“Lynk’s taken a recent fascination in it. Blow me.”
Pax lets out a small chuckle and promises, “I’ll be there tomorrow tonight. We both will.”
Leaning my ass against my dresser, I question, “And by we I assume you mean your girlfriend that has you shopping for an engagement ring online late at night?”
“Boundaries bro!”
His tangent goes ignored. “How can you be shopping for an engagement ring for a woman none of us have met?”
I can imagine the cringe on his face.
“That’s fucked up. We’re supposed to be brothers.”
“It’s….complicated.”
Meena’s face appears around the door frame making me unconsciously sigh, “Tell me about it…” Without letting him have the opportunity to question the change in my tone, I say, “We’ll see you tomorrow. Wyatt expects everyone here by four. You know what an obnoxious little shit he becomes when anyone’s late to his cooking show.”
Pax grumbles, “We’ll be there on time. We’ll bring a bottle of something.”
She wets her glossed lips slowly, enters my bedroom, and shuts the door behind her.
I end the call without bothering to agree or disagree over his last statement. It doesn’t matter if he brings a bottle or a keg or the whole fucking liquor store. The only thing I’m gonna get fucked up on is toying with my sanity in a pair of low rise jeans and a tight brown sweater.
“Kids all packed?”
“Almost. Sage is struggling to decide which Ponies to take to show Sybil, and Lynk packed last night so we didn’t have to grab him from school, then come home to pack, delaying his time with them even more. He’s still pissed you made him to go to school at all.”
Folding my arms across my chest, I shrug. “It’s a half day. He still needed to go for the couple hours they required.”
“His teacher said it would’ve been fine. They were just going to watch a movie.”
“Aren’t you the one who’s a stickler for routines and schedules?”
She drags her finger across the edge of my stomach, right above my jeans where the Catwoman claw mark tattoos are embedded. “I’m also the one who knows when it’s time to work and when it’s time to play.”
My dick begins to lengthen at the word choice.
This whole birthday bash was primarily her idea. She convinced me to not only request off for tomorrow night, but to let the kids spend the entire weekend with their grandparents. Of course Arthur and Sybil couldn’t say yes fast enough, while Murphy took a little more encouragement to give me the day to celebrate. When Wyatt heard we wouldn’t be interrupted by the sound of The Beast dinging for my attention, he declared the entire day to be devoted to showcasing his skills by creating a day of odes to our college years. If it were up to me, we would just do dinner and I would spend all the other hours in the day, fucking the shit out of my girlfriend, but I was somehow overruled in spite of the fact it’s my birthday.
Acknowledging her as more than just the woman I’m sleeping with fills me with equal parts dread and delight.
Shouldn’t I be more apprehensive?
Shouldn’t I be more worried about what happens when things fall apart? How it’ll effect my kids?
Do I even deserve to be happy after what I did to their mother?
Do I even deserve to keep pressing 1 as if it’s the only thing I know how to do?
“Estás bien?”
I force a smile onto my face and lie, “Yeah. I’m good…”
Her eyebrows dart down along with her jaw. Thankfully she gets interrupted by a bouncing ball of a joy, “I’m ready to see grandma and grandpa!”
After one glance at her, the smile becomes real. All of her blonde hair is pulled to the side in a high ponytail, her neon pink shirt has a gray boom box on it to match her leggings, and her sneakers keep lighting up.
My attention falls back to Meena who is bubbling with giddiness. “Did you do this?”
Innocently, she asks, “Do what?”
“Dress her like she’s one gold chain away from rapping ‘It’s Tricky’.”
The moment the accusation leaves my lips she starts singing the hook. Sage, my little music monster, immediately starts bobbing her head along like she knows the words. Meena takes her hands and starts dancing with her in beat to the words she’s dropping. My daughter erupts into giggles. Afterwards, she’s swooped up and bounced along to the continued rapping.
I shake my head unable to do anything besides grin like a lunatic.
Every time I see Meena with them an uncontrollable elation expands through my entire system. It’s happened from the very beginning. Back then, when Beth was alive, it made me feel like an asshole, like the world’s worst father and husband to love that there was a woman who I knew enjoyed being around my son. Now? Now it gives me hope. Now I’m desperate for them to have the type of love I can’t provide, but know they need. Seeing her love, protect, and even parent them like they’re ours, rather than just mine, actually turns me the hell on. And the day she was holding Sage, the way a mother should her sick child, shoved me over the edge.
I want Meena to be in their lives.
I want her to be their mother…
That scares the shit out of me.
“You know what?” Meena’s beautiful voice pulls me out of my own head. “I’m gonna go put on my Adidas.”
Curiosity jumps onto my expression. “You own Adidas?”
“I bought a pair when I bought Sage this outfit and yours and Lynk’s Nightwing t-shirts.”
She even spends her spare money on them. Something their actual mother always complained about.
The shirt was part of an early birthday present. This morning she gave me the other half, which was a series of photos of me with the kids in Batman themed frames. She suggested hanging them in the wall by the office since there’s none that close to the ‘Bat Cave’.
It blows my mind the way she spends cash on me and puts effort into the little things…
Beth never bought me real presents for my birthday. Booze. Dro. Molly. All of those on the other hand were always an option. Didn’t matter that we had a no hard shit policy for parties at The Row. She’d just insist we pop it before everyone started showing up.
Resentment towards Beth starts to swirl aroun
d my mind, and I quickly attempt to ignore it. “Tell me you at least left the hat at the store.”
Meena snickers at the Run DMC reference. With a crooked smirk, she looks at Sage in her arms and begins to make an exit, “Wanna listen to the canción I was just singing in the car?”
“Si!”
I follow behind the two of them, laughing at Sage’s inability to follow the beat Meena has started humming again.