by Xavier Neal
My son meets us at the top of the stairs. “This is gonna be the best birthday ever.”
“Hope you wanted doughnuts,” Meena slyly adds in. “’Cause that’s all we’ve got.”
“Yes!” He shouts, both hands flying in the air. “Chocolate?”
“Si. With the vanilla zig zag.”
“I love chocolate and vanilla together,” Lynk exclaims rushing straight for the kitchen.
“Runs in the family,” I mutter under my breath as Meena passes in front of me.
Once the four of us have doughnuts and milk, we huddle together on the couch to watch Batman Beyond, Lynk’s favorite of the franchise. After two episodes, Sage whines about wanting to go play, so Meena slips away with her to allow the two of us some time alone together. Lynk and I make it through two more additional episodes before he declares he wants us to go outside and kick the ball around until Scott shows up.
On my way out of my bedroom, I run into Meena and Sage who looks super excited for some unknown reason. Suspiciously, I ask, “What am I missing?”
“Since you and Lynk are having a father and son day, I decided it would be a good idea if I keep Sage from trying to sneak in by having a little girl time with her.”
My arms fold across my chest. “Doing what?”
“We’re gonna go drop off some toys at the women’s shelter then pick up Mia and get our toes painted. Have lunch. Go to the mall and play dress up.”
I cock a grin. “That does sound very girly.”
Sage bobs her head rapidly. “It’s going to be so much fun, Daddy!”
Beg to differ.
Kicking the ball around out back. Taking the boys to the special movie house where they serve real food with the films. Playing a marathon of Planet Warriors. All of those seem like fun. Wearing eight shades of different lip stick doesn’t. Add this to the many, many reasons I’m glad she has Meena.
Rather than crush her spirits, I squat down and plant a kiss on her cheek. “Promise me you’ll be a good girl, Sunshine?”
“Super good!”
“And you’ll use all your big girl manners?”
“Por favor. And gracias.”
Her recollection of the words in Spanish makes me chuckle. “Muy bien.”
Sage starts down the stairs and I stand back up, my arm instinctively snaking around Meena’s waist as my mouth creeps to hers. “You be good too…”
She lets the tip of her tongue snake up my top lip. “Or what?”
A desperate growl escapes and I carefully squeeze her ass where Sage can’t see. The low moan stolen is satisfying. “Or I’ll punish this ass until you never even think of questioning me again.”
Meena bites her bottom lip like the idea is making her as wet as I’m hoping.
Another groan is released followed by a swift kiss on the lips.
“Come on!” My children’s voices cry out in unison at the end of the stairs.
Meena lightly laughs and sighs, “Paciencia niños.”
She hustles down the stairs with me close behind.
The girls exit out the front door leaving Lynk and I to play in the backyard.
One of the things I have always loved most about Lynk is his desire to play outside no matter how hot or cold it is. Even now, the weekend before Thanksgiving when it’s the chilliest it’s been all week, he doesn’t seem to notice. Lynk, like me, has tunnel vision when it comes to doing what he loves. As much as it would be cool to share a love of computers, I’m relieved he has a passion for something more physical, something that keeps him actually connected to other people instead of just pretending to.
I kick the soccer ball past him and straight into the net. Throwing my hands up in the air victoriously, I shout. “Goal!”
Lynk grunts his disapproval but hustles to grab the ball.
Backing up to drop down into one of the patio chair, I tease, “So you’re ten now. You know what that means, right?”
He shakes his head, jogs to the side of the yard, and prepares to practice dribbling.
“Time to get a job.”
Lynk almost trips over the ball. “What!”
His overdramatic reaction causes me to erupt into laughter.
“I don’t need a job.” He folds his arms across his chest. “You and Meena will take care of me.”
Hearing our names together brightens my smile more.
He has a very valid point. We will. And that’s something I’m not sure I could’ve ever said about his mother without lying.
“And grandma and grandpa.”
I stand back up as their names knock something around in my memory. “We should actually go ahead and let you open their gifts.”
At the word gifts, he abandons the idea of any more practice. “Right now?”
“Yeah. That way you can call and thank them before Scott gets here.”
He snatches up the ball and flies past me at lightning speed.
Inside, he drops the ball in the soccer bin Meena created for him by the front door and rushes to grab the presents that have been taunting him all week.
During his struggle to get the oversized gifts to the coffee table he states, “Thanksgiving is gonna be so cool at their house! It’s so awesome we get to go this year! Did grandpa tell you we’re having tres kinds of mac and cheese?!”
The information receives a small chuckle. “Nope.”
“Three!”
My Spanish isn’t great, but I can count…
“And grandma said at least seis different desserts!” Lynk starts to tear the paper off of one package. “I wish Meena was coming with us….”
All things considered, she really should. It was her idea for us to go celebrate with them. While they haven’t seen them since ‘the help’ incident, the kids do speak with them an extra day of the week now and are constantly begging that they spend more time together. Holidays have always been hard. When Beth was alive it was an automatic decision to go there to celebrate. To keep the family façade alive. But after she died it was a combination of returning without her being too painful and a choice not to pretend to be the perfect husband I wasn’t. Meena thinks going, starting the tradition again, allowing Sage and Lynk to engage in family moments some children never get to have will be good for all of us. She thinks if we spend a little time together, they’ll have a chance to appreciate the father I’ve become in the absence of their daughter. Like everything else I do, I’m not doing it for me. I’m doing it for them.
“She um…She can’t, Lynk,” I say trying to hide my disappointment. “You know, she has her own family to spend the holiday with.”
“Her family is so enorme.” He yanks the tape off the sealed box. “And they all speak Spanish. And they all speak it really fast. And sometimes they have English words in there, but I still don’t know what they’re saying.”
His description feels accurate though I wouldn’t actually know firsthand. Unlike my children I’ve only digitally met them.
“When did you…meet them?”
“Sometimes they come to practice or the games or we stop by to say hello after the game or after practice. One time when you were working we all went to this Mexican restaurant for dinner. It was so loud…”
I try not to be angry with my lack of knowledge over those things. I get it. I can’t know where they are every minute of every day. And it’s not like she didn’t check in or keeps any of their outings a secret or took them across the border. She’s just being a great girlfriend. A great caregiver. Nate keeps warning me I’ve gotta give her room to breathe or I’m gonna fuck up again.
I know that he’s right.
I hate that he’s right.
“Sometimes I wish Meena was a part of our family,” Lynk absentmindedly states.
There’s no time to swallow his thought.
“Look!” He shouts. “Look what grandpa got me!” The signed autograph jersey by his favorite soccer play, Drake Lenzi, waves back and forth in his grip. “Can I wear it?! Can I wear it!?”
“You don’t wanna frame it?”
Lynk shakes his head immediately and begins stripping off his t-shirt. “It even matches the shoes Meena bought me for my birthday!”
The mention not only of her name, but her devotion to giving them everything she possibly can, replants the withering grin.
He’s not the only one who wishes she was family…
Who knows.
Maybe one day soon she will be.
Sage wiggles from her position on my lap as Mia puts purple lip stick on her tiny lips. “You’re gonna look muy caliente!”
“She’s four,” I swiftly scold my sister. “She shouldn’t be looking muy caliente.”
“Muy caliente,” Sage repeats and presses her lips together the same way Mia does.
“Relax, I didn’t mean it like that. Now squeeze them together, so I can take a picture of my amazing skills.”
My hand flies to block her camera. “Absolutely not. We do not post pictures of Holden’s kids without his permission.”
She drops her hand on her hip. “¿Lo dice en serio? She needs a waiver to have her picture taken?”
“Mia,” my tone is firm and unwavering. “This is not a discussion or up for debate. Sage is not my daughter.” The words sting as they slip off my tongue. “She’s Holden’s. He is her father. They’re his rules. Got it?”
Mia rolls her eyes and turns the camera to take a selfie. “I wish she were yours. Then we could shop like this all the time and take tons of pictures. No permission slip necessary.”
“I wish you were my mommy too,” Sage turns around and coos.
The unexpected comment filled with sincerity stings my chest in new ways.
Every day I spend more time with them, I find myself hating their mother for not loving them and hating myself for ever walking away in the first place. They needed me then just like they need me now.
I won’t walk away this time.
Nothing can keep me from giving them the love they deserve, including Holden.
“Miss Meena, I wanna take my picture,” she pouts. “Can we take one? Por favor?”
Her use of Spanish spurs Mia to swoon. “Eso es muy lindo! Did you teach her to speak Spanish?”
“She knows some words and phrases. Actually, they all do now.”
“Even Daddy!” Sage announces.
Mia gives me an inappropriate expression. “I bet he does…”
“Stop that,” I fuss, removing my phone from my purse.
“Por favor, dime que dos de ustedes son una pareja ahora?” Her eyes widen at the same time enthusiasm fills them. “Por favor, dime que vas a casarte con él y tienes muchos bebés!”
As much as I would love to tell her marriage and babies are on the way, it’s ridiculous to even think about. We haven’t been dating that long, even if it feels like we’ve been together for a lifetime already, and on a sadder note, I’m not ever sure I can get pregnant again.
But God if I can I hope it’s with him.
“Sí. Ahora somos unidos.”
She starts jumping and squealing like she’s won some sort of prize.
I shake my head while turning on the camera for Sage and me to take a selfie. “Why does this excite you so much?”
“Because you like never date and if you never date you’ll never marry and if you never marry I never have a niece to dress up.” She motions her hand towards Sage. “Like this.”
Nope. Not gonna bother telling her I am a serial dater.
Was.
Was a serial dater.
“You do know there’s no guarantee even if I have kids that I’ll have a girl.”
“Yeah, but you already have Sage, so that really cancels out any future worries.”
Unbelievable.
“Smile for daddy,” I encourage her as she leans into me.
After the first picture, Mia states, “Now model face like Aunt Mia showed you!”
Sage makes a fierce look with pursed lips and I do it too for the sake of the photo. Once I’m finished and the adorable child approves, I send them to Holden, with a heart text.
Reaching for one of the makeup remover wipes, I announce, “Let’s get this make up off of you while Aunt Mia picks out one set for me to buy her.”
My sister squeaks and throws hers arms around the two of us squishing Sage in the middle. We laugh and hug back.
“You have no idea how much this means to me!” Mia overdramatically says. “I’ll use it for my headshots!”
A skeptical look appears on my face. “Are mom and Papi aware of these headshots?”
She less than innocently looks away.
“You cannot by law, get those without their approval, Mia,” my voice takes a protective, parental tone. “There are reasons those laws exist. It’s not to stop teenagers from becoming famous, obviously, it’s to protect creeps in the world from preying on you.
“Meena-”
“No. Por favor, no me hagas el villano aquí.”
“Aunt Mia she said please,” Sage interjects as she allows me to scrub her face.
My little sister tries not to smile at the title.
Ugh. One hard conversation at a time. Besides, Sage calling what could one day actually be her aunt, aunt prematurely, is way less of an issue than my sister sneaking off to let a stranger photograph her.
“The moment mom and Papi approve, I will not only buy your wardrobe for it, I’ll drive you to the audition or to get your picture taken.” I try to offer her a comforting smile. “This is about safety, Mia. Nothing else.”
She tosses her hands up in a tantrum. “Fine! Whatever. I won’t go….even though he said he thought I had so much talent he would do them for gratis.”
Also, not a good sign. No one in the industry expects something for nothing, no matter how much ‘talent’ they think you have.
“I will pay the fee. All you have to do is find a legit agency, one that mom and Papi approve of and Holden can prove is actually real.”
“Eso es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo,” she mumbles stomping off.
“Miss Meena,” Sage starts, blue eyes now looking up at me. “Can we go look at toys when Aunt Mia’s finished?”
Despite being given the perfect opportunity to correct the name, I don’t. “We sure can!”
She voices her joy seconds before my cell phone vibrates across the counter.
I quickly pick it up and smile at the message.
Holden: My loves.
With a wide grin and bursting heart, I scroll down to the picture he sent of him and Lynk on the couch with controllers in their hands.
“Is that daddy?” Sage questions, pulling my hand down. She smiles at the sight. “They’re having fun too!”
After placing a kiss on the side of her forehead, I say, “They sure are…Let me text him back and then we can go find where Mia disappeared to.”
Quickly, my fingers fly across the keys.
Me: Y mío.
And they are.
The Reiss family, all three of them, make me very thankful I never stayed any other place too long. Hopefully, for the first time in my life, I truly am done traveling the world avoiding everything while looking for nothing.
Hopefully, this really is it.
CoconutLover6971: The Baker is finally prepping a dozen. I can hardly wait.
I fight my gag reflexes.
Sick fuck. I can’t wait to bring this asshole in along with the ten others in this chatroom who are just waiting for the unidentified man known as ‘The Baker’ to open up for business.
Tonight is the first big break I’ve gotten, which to say it’s needed would be a bold lie. Brewster has her hand gripped so tightly on my nuts I’m afraid to fucking cough. It’s the first of December and she wants some sort of tangible win before the holidays or else heads are going to be served for Christmas dinner. Thankfully, CoconutLover6971, the idiot, took the bait I had been trying to push around out of desperation. Over the past few hours, I’ve managed to decode and
discover the identity of three of the other members in here as well as learn a little about one of the only men who does live auctions through The Cupcake Palace. The other ‘cooks’ aren’t comfortable with the risks even though the reward is greater.