The Chrismukkah Crisis

by Ryan Taylor

  That’s just great. A new job, plus extra work. I started to throw my hands up in exasperation but caught myself. The way Lidia twitched her lips told me she hadn’t missed it, and I doubted that she missed much at all. “However I can help,” I said.

  She stood up, nodding. “Come on. Let me show you your work area, and we’ll see if Mr. Townsend is available.”

  Aaron

  I thought about Matt all the way to the office and had trouble concentrating during my client meeting. It was with a well-to-do couple who wanted us to create several trusts to dispose of their estate when they died. Herb Townsend, my supervising attorney, was supposed to be there, but something had come up and I winged it on my own. The clients seemed happy when they left, and I’d be ready to start drafting documents as soon as I filled Herb in and got the go-ahead.

  Back in my office, I checked email and didn’t see anything urgent, so I decided to take a few minutes to eat the muffin I’d snagged in the kitchen. My office was pretty nice. It was small but had new gray carpet and real wooden furniture. Best of all, there was a window behind my desk, and though it looked out on an alley, the view was more than most first-year associates had.

  Leaning back in my chair, I pulled up ESPN on the computer. I was in the middle of an article about the Sabres, my NHL team, when someone knocked on the door and my world turned topsy-turvy in an instant.

  Lidia Hart acted like everything was perfectly normal while my mind spun a mile a minute, trying to catch up. “Aaron Roth, meet Matthew Kennington. Matthew is the paralegal who will be working with you and Mr. Townsend now. He’s been down in Real Estate for a few years, and Earl Liswell says he’s one of the top paralegals in the office. He won’t have any trouble getting up to speed.”

  Matt’s incredulous stare and rigid posture told me he was as surprised as I was. Needing to do something, I stuck out a hand. “Welcome, Matt… um… good to have you.” I looked at Lidia. “Herb’s out of the office this morning.”

  She nodded. “I’ve already shown Matthew his work area. Do you think you could get him started on a project or two?”

  Matt stared at me while he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

  “Of course,” I said. “Matt, have a seat.”

  Lidia smiled. “All right. I’ll leave you to it.”

  She closed the door behind her, and we sat down. He took a deep breath. “I….”

  God, those plump, peachy lips…. I licked my own, desperate to crawl across the desk and kiss him. My breath came fast, and I couldn’t control the big grin on my face. “Hey.”

  “Mr. Roth, I—”

  “It’s Aaron. We got that out of the way before.” Please smile. Say it’s okay and that you’re still interested in me.

  The dazed look in his eyes cleared up and he frowned. “Yes. That was before. Now, everything’s changed.”

  I shook my head too hard. “Nothing has to change.”

  “Yes, it does.” His frown deepened and his voice was too quiet. “I need my job. I can’t do anything that might mess it up.”

  I had a wild compulsion to lick the soft spot above his upper lip. “I’m still the same guy I was an hour ago.”

  He finally smiled, but there was sadness in his eyes. “I know. I am, too, but now you’re my boss, and I—”

  I shook my head again. “I’m not your boss. Townsend is.”

  He rolled his eyes and the frown returned. “You’re going to be giving me work and evaluating it, aren’t you? You’re a lawyer; I’m support staff.” He lowered his voice even more. “There are rules here, strict ones. No fraternization between employees, and that includes lawyers.”

  No, no, no, no, no! There has to be a way around this.

  He sighed and put on a downcast smile. “Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be.”

  I leaned over my desk. “We’ll get you transferred somewhere else.”

  “Liswell’s mind is made up.” His shoulders slumped. “I tried to talk him out of it already because I didn’t want to learn a new job.”

  “Matt, there has to be some way around this.” The words came out too loud and fast. “For the first time in forever, I really feel a connection. Don’t you? We can…. I—” Stop! If you want to stand a chance with him, you need to think carefully about how to handle this.

  I closed my eyes and let out a long breath. When I looked at him again, a little smile had reappeared on his face, and I gave him my best reasonable-yet-pleading look. “How about this? Let’s get you started on some things, and we can talk about this later.”

  He relaxed slightly. “Okay.” His voice was still soft, but he nodded. “That sounds good. We’ll talk later.”

  I started pulling up files on the computer.

  Matthew

  I made a BLT for dinner. I wasn’t hungry, but had been so worked up earlier that I skipped lunch, so I needed to eat something. The day replayed as I nibbled at the sandwich. What started out as a typical, sleepy Monday morning took an exciting turn when I met an awesome guy on the Metro. He asked for my number, and then—just when I was really excited and in the throes of a budding crush—he turned out to be one of my new bosses.

  Fuck. Me. Sooner or later, I was going to have to admit that love and I weren’t simpatico and start calling monasteries. Well, that would be all guys, so I should probably call a nunnery instead. Maybe that would make my grandmother happy, since she was still disappointed that I hadn’t felt the calling to be a priest.

  After I threw half the sandwich away and put the plate in the dishwasher, I thought about going down to the gym in my building. I lived in a nice place in Bethesda, on the sixth floor of a secured building. The apartment had a living room with big windows, and a glass door led out onto a balcony with a view of Western Grove Park. The kitchen was tiny, but everything in it was new, and the bedroom had a couple of windows with the same view the living room had. In the three years since I graduated from college and moved into the apartment, I’d accumulated some nice furniture, and I liked my place a lot. The rent was twenty-one hundred dollars a month, a huge chunk of my take-home pay, but this was a great place and I had no roommates.

  Not in the mood to work out, I took a shower instead, put on PJ bottoms and a T-shirt, and settled down on my cushy blue sofa with a carton of chocolate ice cream. My phone started vibrating as soon as I turned on the TV to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. I stared in disbelief at the caller ID: AARON.

  No! Don’t answer! I set the phone down on the table. Answer it, you moron! I picked the phone back up just as it stopped vibrating. I sat there with my finger poised to call him back, and while I debated, the phone started vibrating again. AARON.

  “Hello?” I went for nonchalant.

  “Matt? It’s Aaron.” His voice was dreamy—thick and low—but it was also a little shaky, and I realized he was nervous.

  “Hey, Aaron.” Suck it up and do what needs to be done. “Why are you calling me at home? Did I do something wrong with that research for you?”

  He took a breath and cleared his throat. “You didn’t do anything wrong. That isn’t why I’m calling.”

  “What is it then?” There. Businesslike.

  “Matt, I promised to call you tonight. Can we talk?”

  He kept his promise! I closed my eyes and prayed for strength. “That was before you turned out to be my boss. Isn’t it inappropriate for my boss to be calling me at home for social reasons?”

  “Come on, man.” He sounded kind of pitiful, but still. He was silent long enough that I’d opened my mouth to ask if he needed anything else, when his low voice purred into my ear. “I want to get to know you, Matt. Please talk to me.”

  A kaleidoscope of butterflies took flight in my stomach. I remembered Aaron’s eyes, the warmth of his body pressing into mine on the train, and the perfect cleft in his chin when he grinned. God help me. “Okay.”

  We talked like we’d known each other for years, with no awkward silences and no hesitation. Everything else faded
away and I had the time of my life.

  “Oh God, it’s nine thirty.” He chuckled nervously. “Have I talked your ear off?”

  It was a shock to realize we’d been on the phone for over two hours. “No, but I’m surprised I haven’t put you to sleep.”

  “Never. Mmm….” That husky voice was going to have me chubby all night. “I could talk to you forever.”

  “Aaron, this has been nice, but do you really think it’s wise to—”

  “Have a drink with me tomorrow after work? I won’t have time for dinner, but please have a drink with me.”

  Heaviness behind my eyes reminded me that this was a bad idea. “I don’t know. I mean, I want to, but—”

  “Say yes.” Silence ruled while I debated with myself, and he made his argument. “It’s just a drink, Matt.”

  “Uh…. I….” This can’t lead to anything good.

  “Please?”

  Say yes. He’s an awesome guy. “Okay, sure, but only for a little while. Tuesdays are workout nights.” What a lie!

  “Promise? It’s a date?”

  His enthusiasm had me grinning ear to ear. “It’s a drink, Aaron, like you said. That’s all.”

  “I’ll take it.” He chuckled again. “You’re finished with work at five?”

  “Yes, boss.” I rolled my eyes, smiling. “You should know that.”

  “Five o’clock it is. Drink, my treat.” Slight pause. “No bailing.”

  He really likes you, Matthew! “Deal. No bailing.”

  I heard an office chair rolling on the floor. “I hate to go, but I have to finish a memo for Townsend so I can go home.”

  “You’re still at work?” Closing my eyes, I saw his lopsided smile.

  “Yeah. But it’s the best evening I’ve ever had here, thanks to you.”

  What a flirt he is. “I’m glad.” I felt oddly protective of him. “Don’t stay too long, okay? Promise?”

  “I promise.” He took another breath. How can anybody sound sexy just breathing? “Goodnight, Matt. Sweet dreams.”

  “Goodnight, Aaron. Go home soon.”

  After we hung up, I replayed the conversation over and over. Aaron was one of the most fascinating men I’d ever talked to. I knew I could fall in love without any trouble at all, and I was scared to death it would cost me my job.

  Aaron

  I had to be in the office early the next morning, so I missed Matt on the train. He looked amazing when he got to work. Beige wool pants hugged his ass like they’d gotten married that morning, and he wore a green sweater that made his auburn hair pop. His eyes were mesmerizing—perfect, deep hazel pools that dazzled me every time I saw them.

  He brought me some Westlaw printouts about noon, and I had a great idea. “You going to lunch?”

  His shy smile was beautiful. “No, I bring my lunch.”

  “I could order something and we could eat together.” My puppy dog enthusiasm was a little embarrassing.

  “Aaron….” The warning in his voice was unmistakable, and he lowered it almost to a whisper. “We’re having a drink later, remember? Leave it till then.”

  “Yeah, okay. Five o’clock, right?”

  He nodded. “Five o’clock.” He started toward the door and then turned to face me again. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

  The afternoon crawled by, and by four thirty I couldn’t sit still. I squirmed in my chair, clicked my fingernails against the desk, and pushed the sleeves of my shirt up and down so many times that I was afraid the cuffs might fray. I tried to read Marley v. Rawlings, but stared at the same page until the reminder app on my phone beeped. I practically leaped out of my chair and pulled on my jacket, fumbling when I tried to shove my right arm into the left sleeve. Grabbing my briefcase, I stumbled out of my office.

  Matt jerked his head in my direction, clearly amused. “What’s up?”

  “It’s time,” I proclaimed.

  He giggled and rolled his eyes. He seemed to do that a lot. “It’s only 4:55. Five more minutes.”

  “Come on,” I said. “If anyone tries to dock you five minutes, send them to me.”

  He looked around like he was afraid someone might overhear, even though Townsend had gone home an hour earlier. “That’s exactly what we don’t want.”

  “I know, but everything’s cool.”

  He sighed and shook his head. “All right.” He looked up at me and smiled, and I watched while he logged out of his computer, packed up his bag, and put on his jacket. Not that I was antsy, but it was 5:03 by the time he was ready to leave.

  Matthew

  Aaron took me to Chimú, a Peruvian restaurant on the same block as our office, where we sat at a table in the bar. It was a fun place, casually elegant, and a smart crowd had already gathered. Contemporary art hung on brick walls, and teakwood fixtures warmed the space and deadened some of the noise. The food smelled delicious, making me wish we were having dinner after all.

  Over cancha—toasted, seasoned corn—and G&Ts, we resumed our conversation from the night before. Aaron’s wavy brown hair was charmingly mussed after a day at the office, and he was to die for in a formfitting charcoal gray suit. A blue medallion tie and white shirt completed the look of the hottest young lawyer in the District.

  “You said you grew up in Buffalo?” he asked.

  “I did. Well, Cheektowaga, to be exact. My parents still live there.”

  He munched through some cancha. “I love Buffalo. UB was great. The nation’s most underrated law school.”

  “If you say so.” I tried some of the corn, which was delicious. “I graduated from UB, actually.”

  “Is that when you moved to DC?”

  I nodded and rolled my eyes. “With a boyfriend. He turned out to be a world-class jerk, but by then I was here and had the job at Craig Swan.” I signaled the waiter for another drink. Slow down, Matthew! “You grew up on Long Island?”

  “Yes. Wainscott. Undergrad at Hamilton, then UB for law school.”

  We’d covered all this the night before but were both stalling for time. After a few minutes, the waiter brought my drink, and Aaron sat up straight, his eyes growing serious. “Matt?”

  Suspecting what was coming, I studied an art print on the wall near our table. “Yes?”

  “This doesn’t happen often.”

  I turned my head back to Aaron. “What doesn’t happen often?”

  He scoffed, looking at me like I was a naughty kid. “Meeting somebody you connect with instantly.” When I didn’t say anything, he looked around and leaned across the table. “Somebody you feel like you’ve known all your life, that you want to know forever.”

  Be strong. “What would make you think I feel that way?”

  His face fell hard, and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. Dropping his head, he stared into the bowl of cancha.

  “I’m sorry, Aaron. I didn’t mean that.” He slowly raised his head, a deep furrow now settled between his brows. I ventured on. “The truth is that I’m scared shitless because I do know how rare it is.” I chewed on my lower lip for a second. “But this can’t happen, you know that.”

  “Why?” He was incredulous. “Why can’t it happen?”

  I tried to decide whether he was playing dumb or really didn’t know. “The firm’s antifraternization policy? It’s right there in the employee handbook.”

  “A lot of things are in employee handbooks.”

  Lydia Hart told me Aaron had only worked at the firm for a few months, so maybe he really didn’t understand. “Aaron, they are serious about that policy. Three years ago, there was a huge lawsuit where a legal assistant claimed that one of the lawyers sexually harassed her, and the firm lost a ton of money. Then, the next year, an associate sued, claiming that a partner had forced him into sexual favors. Several other associates joined the lawsuit, claiming they had been denied consideration for advancement because of unfair advantages given to the other associate.”

  Aaron looked unconvinced. “But that
’s—”

  I reached across the table to put a hand against his. “Over the last few years, I’ve known of at least four people who were fired because of fraternization within the firm.”

  He grabbed my hand. “We’ll be careful. That couldn’t happen to—”

  “It’s too dangerous for both of us,” I said, pulling my hand away. “You do see that, don’t you?”

  He gulped down the rest of his drink and caught the waiter’s eye, raising his glass to ask for another. “What I see is a man I’m intensely attracted to.” He flushed, and his body clenched up. “I don’t mean sexually.”

  Whoa!—that hurt way too much. Aaron put his hands over his face and moaned.

  “See,” I said. “You don’t even—”

  He yanked his hands away from his face. “No!” he said too loudly and then lowered his voice again. “I mean, yes. Sexually, that is. Of course I feel that, but I’m not looking for Netflix and chill. I really want to get to know you. You’re handsome and hot as hell, but you’re also smart and funny. You excite me.” The waiter delivered his fresh drink, and Aaron took a nervous pull at it. “Maybe you’re right that I should be afraid, but to hell with that. I want to see what can happen between us.”

  When I didn’t say anything, he jutted his chin out like he was gearing up for a fight. “Tell me you don’t want to find out too.”

  I tried to look away, but he moved his head to the side, maintaining eye contact. “I dare you to say it and mean it.”

  My chin trembled and my eyes stung. He was so good-looking, even with his hair out of place and his face flushed. He thrust his chin out even farther, and his gaze bore into mine like a laser. Aaron was obviously going to make one hell of a litigator. Be strong, Matthew.

  It took me a moment before I could say anything. “You’re right. But….”

  His eyes grew wary. “But…? Doesn’t sound good.”

  I used my napkin to wipe up a wet spot on the table before winding the cloth around my fingers. “Look, I’m not exactly saying no, okay?”